Violet handed over what the taxi driver asked for, and stepped out into a residential neighborhood that wasn’t exactly upscale, but certainly wasn’t the slums. She kept a hand on the cab door, unsure if she was at the right spot. A small driveway led up to a modest two level home that was pretty on the outside, and had a white Bentley parked in front of the small garage.
“Miss, I got another fare to pick up,” the driver shouted.
Violet hesitated. “Is this the right place?”
He rattled off the address she had given him. “I’ve lived and drove in Brooklyn for forty fucking years—this is the right place, girl.”
She let go of the door, knowing she didn’t have much of a choice. Stepping up onto the curb, she felt her phone began to ring and vibrate in her messenger bag. It hadn’t stopped since she jumped into a cab and took off. Without a doubt, she knew it was her father.
Violet had checked a couple of times, just to make sure it wasn’t Kaz. He hadn’t called her back, or messaged, so that only left Alberto.
Guessing by the number of voicemails her father had already left, he was livid.
Beyond pissed.
She couldn’t be bothered to listen to a single one.
Why should she when she knew what they would say?
As the cab pulled away, Violet stayed on the curb, still staring at the house and wondering why in the hell Kaz would send her to a place he had never taken her to before.
What was she supposed to do, just go on up to the door and fucking knock?
Violet eyed the quiet neighborhood and figured doing just that might be better than standing way out in the open where anyone might see and recognize her. She quickly crossed the driveway, and took the couple of wooden steps up to the front door. Rapping her knuckles to the glass twice, she took a step back so whoever was inside could get a decent view of her through the small clear slates in the design of the frosted glass.
She heard the footsteps approach from within, saw the light-colored shade move, and then waited another thirty seconds before the door was finally opened.
Familiar gray eyes greeted her.
For a second, Violet just took in the woman on the other side of the door. She was pretty, with her high cheekbones and her soft lines. There was a resemblance between the unknown woman and Kaz that Violet recognized almost instantly.
But where Kaz was the more masculine version, the woman was far more feminine in her features.
“Hello,” Violet said.
It felt stupid because she didn’t know what else to say.
The woman’s hand never left the doorknob, like she was thinking about closing the door on Violet if she moved even an inch. “Hello.”
“I’m—”
“I know who you are,” the woman interrupted sharply. “And I don’t know why you’ve found your way to my door, but I don’t need you here causing me any kind of trouble, Gallucci.”
Violet was stunned. The coldness of the woman’s tone rang out in each word she spoke.
“If you know who I am, then maybe you wouldn’t mind telling me who you are, or why Kaz gave me this address to come to.”
For just a brief second, almost quick enough to miss it, the woman’s stance softened. But just as fast, she straightened right back up like a rod had been shoved into her spine.
“Vera Markovic,” she said, her gaze never leaving Violet’s still form on the doorstep. “And Kazimir is my brother. But what exactly is he to you?”
Violet opened her mouth to speak, but words failed her.
She realized she didn’t have a clear, good answer to give back.
Kaz was a lot of things to Violet, and he had very quickly turned those things into even more without trying at all.
He was her safe place.
A friend.
Her lover.
A confidant.
Stolen moments.
Silent conversations.
Long nights and late mornings.
How was she supposed to sum that up?
What word was good enough?
Vera cleared her throat, still looking like she was trying to decide whether or not to close the door. “So … it’s like that, huh?”
Violet blinked, warier than ever. “I don’t understand what you mean by ‘like that’.”
“Really?”
“I—”
The roar of an engine and the scream of tires made Violet turn fast on the doorstep to find a familiar Porsche coming to a halt right in front of Vera’s driveway. He didn’t even cut the engine before he was getting out of the car.
Kaz rounded the front of the Porsche, his gaze zoning in on only Violet like she was the one thing he wanted to see, and just like that …
Just like that the fucking tears started again and the pain was back. All that anxiety she had been pushing down, and the realities she was pretending didn’t exist were shoving their way forefront into her heart and thoughts like they didn’t have any plans to let go.
All she needed was the sight of Kaz—his fast steps, worried, angry eyes, and his hands outstretched for her.
Because he took, all the damn time.
From her, he took anything she didn’t want to hold anymore. Stress, worries, and petty shit that she didn’t have anyone to talk to about, he was the one who was there. When she had anxiety over upcoming tests for her classes, he had her books spread out over the bed. When she didn’t want to just be the Gallucci girl—Alberto’s daughter—she got to be just Violet with Kaz.
Violet’s foot had just hit the asphalt of the driveway and Kaz was already there. His arms swallowed her whole, tightening around her so goddamn hard, enough to hurt and take her breath away, but she found that for the first time in a good hour, she could actually breathe.
She caught him around the middle, hugging tight when his one hand splayed wide to her back, and his other wrapped up in her hair, holding her close.
“I got you,” he murmured into her hair before kissing the top of her head. “We’ll figure it out, Violet.”
All over again, time stopped.
There was nothing else that mattered when he was there, holding her like that.
Safe place.
Everybody had one person to be theirs. That one single person in the world that never asked for more than what was given, but always took what was too much to handle. The one person who made everything better, and made someone else better, too.
Kaz made her better, and she hadn’t really thought to look beyond it because she couldn’t. Not without maybe losing herself, him, or even them in the process.
She wanted to keep that safe place that he had become for her.
But it was too late.
And even if she didn’t get to keep it—keep him—she knew now …
Kaz was that one person.
For her, he was that one soul meant for hers.
And she wasn’t allowed to have him.
“I moved the Bentley and put your Porsche in the garage,” Vera said.
Violet looked over Kaz’s shoulder to find his sister leaning in the entryway of the kitchen. Vera hadn’t spoken a lot since Kaz arrived. Or rather, she said barely anything to Violet, and when she did speak, she directed everything she said to only Kaz.
It was cold and disconcerting.
Violet tried not to let Vera’s attitude bother her, but it was hard. Kaz had told her once that out of all his siblings, he was closest to Vera in both age and in friendship. And it was clear that Vera didn’t like Violet at all.
It was tough to swallow.
“Thank you,” Kaz said, never turning around.
His finger tapped the bottom of Violet’s coffee mug, silently telling her to take another drink. She lifted the tea and sipped, still watching Vera out of the corner of her eye. Kaz’s gaze was firmly stuck on Violet, and she had a feeling he knew exactly what she was thinking, or he had a damn good idea. His one hand rested on the edge of the counter as he stood in front of her, close enough that he was keeping her in place and with him.
When his other hand landed on her waist with a soft touch, Violet’s gaze flew to his.
Kaz smiled, but it didn’t quite ring as true as it usually did. “Vera is …”
Violet waited for him to finish whatever he was going to say, but he just left it hanging like that.
Vera huffed under her breath, and Violet watched as she spun on her heel and disappeared somewhere down the hallway outside of the kitchen. She hadn’t gotten the chance to explore much of the home’s layout, seeing as how Kaz had forced her into the kitchen and worked on soothing her panic attack first and foremost.
“She doesn’t like me,” Violet whispered.
“Vera isn’t going to like anyone I care for at first unless she’s hand-picked them,” Kaz said, smirking just a little.
“That is not why she doesn’t like me.”
Kaz nodded once. “Yeah, I know.”
“Then why send me here if you already knew, Kaz?”
“Because it was a safe place—Vasily won’t come after Vera, no matter what happens in all of this, and I needed time.”
“Time?”
“To think,” he clarified.
“Oh.”
Suddenly, Kaz pushed away from the counter and Violet. Instinctively, she reached out and grabbed a fistful of his jacket, tugging to pull him back. She liked him closer—there with her. Standing with her, locking her in with him.
That’s where he needed to be.
“Don’t go right now,” she said quietly, her gaze lowering.
“I have to talk to Vera for a second, okay? Drink the tea. Don’t worry.”
That was much easier said than done.
Still, Violet let him go, releasing his jacket from her hold and staring out the small kitchen window as he followed the direction his sister had gone just a couple of minutes before.
Violet didn’t miss how on his way out of the kitchen, he grabbed the packet of photographs that were sticking out of the top of her bag, resting on the table.
Not ten seconds later, the voices started to raise from down the hall.
“Are you serious, Kaz? Are you trying to get yourself killed—oh wait, it’s too late to ask that question, considering the two of you are here. What were you thinking?”
“Vera—”
“And of all the women in New York, you picked the one that would piss off Vasily the most? If the situation wasn’t so serious, I might have given you a pat on the back.”
“Vera—”
“And how long do you think you can hide out here before Vasily arrives?”
“Will you shut up long enough for me to speak?” Kaz asked dryly.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Please, enlighten me on how you expect to get out of this one without our mother having to bury you … I’ll wait.”
“Jesus, when did you become so pessimistic?”
Clear as day, Vera said, “The day my brother brought the one female to my door that would surely get him a bullet to the forehead. How do you want me to act, Kaz? Should I go out there and smile pretty, make sure she’s happy and comfortable? Wait until her psychotic father sends some of his people to kick in my door trying to get her back?”
“Don’t, Vera,” Kaz said with an edge to his voice. “Don’t blame her for the decisions I made.”
“No, you’re just as guilty as she is, but at the end of the day, she may get no more than a slap on the wrist. You, Kaz … they’re going to bury you for this.”
Violet clenched the cup a little harder in her hands, wondering how much truth was in Vera’s words.
Probably more than she wanted to admit.
They had gone into this whole thing so stupidly. Together, sure, but dumb all the same. The innocence of it was quickly wiped away by the fact it had always been hidden, quiet, and secret. That alone was enough to say it was wrong, and they knew it was.
And yet, here they were.
Violet lifted her cup for another sip as Kaz strolled back into the kitchen, his expression a blank slate. He stopped at the table, and one by one, dropped the pictures down as he looked through them. She wasn’t quite sure what to say, so she let him do whatever it was he was doing.
Finally, when he came to the last one—the most revealing of them all—Kaz scowled and tossed it down, too. “These were not included in the one Vasily showed me.”
Her heart stopped. “What?”
“The one photograph he showed me was innocent, and he alluded to more, but nothing to this …” Kaz’s jaw clenched before he finished with, “Extent.”
Anger and betrayal swirled fast in Violet’s emotions, warring with one another for attention. “You knew he—”
Kaz spun around, a hand raising slowly. “Don’t do that with me right now.”
Violet dropped her unfinished tea into the sink, the cup clanging loudly against the metal. She took a step forward, hurt and so angry. “Don’t do this? Like what, like I shouldn’t be angry with you that you already knew?”
“You’re assuming. Don’t assume.”
“Don’t talk to me like I’m a child, Kaz.”
“I’m not. You’re angry, and you’re worried. You’re lashing out at me instead of listening to me.”
Violet had all she could do to stay where she was, knowing he had a point. It didn’t help her fury a great deal. “Go ahead, then, explain to me how you knew he had pictures of us, and you couldn’t be bothered to pick up a phone and at least tell me that he had them!”
“Have you thought … Oh, I don’t know, in the last fifteen or so minutes—maybe since you got the pictures—that this was exactly why I didn’t call you?”
How was he so calm when she was clearly pissed?
“You’re doing it again. Patronizing me. Stop it.”
Kaz sighed, and raked a hand down his face. “I knew he had the pictures, yes, but he also made it clear that if he caught me running around with you again, that he would send them to your father. I was waiting for his attention to cool down enough that I might be able to get away with meeting up with you. This wasn’t something I wanted to do over the phone, Violet. But let’s not forget how he had someone following me for weeks.”
Violet snapped back at the sudden heat in Kaz’s tone. “I—”
“Weeks,” he repeated sharply. “And obviously, by the looks of those last few, we can safely fucking assume I get so entirely distracted by you that I don’t even notice when someone is photographing me from outside my goddamn home!”
“Don’t blame me. It wasn’t just me.”
Kaz let out a short, dry laugh. “Oh, Violet. I don’t blame you for very damn much. Some things, yes, but not this mess.”
Violet wasn’t sure what he meant by that, but his posture softened and that calm mask fell away. He was in no better shape than her, and that left her lost.
Because she was okay to panic.
Kaz would stay calm.
She could rage.
He wouldn’t.
This wasn’t right at all.
“I’m sorry,” Violet said.
“God, for what?” Kaz asked.
“I don’t know. Assuming, I guess.”
“Yeah, I get it.”
Violet wrapped an arm around her middle, feeling like she just needed to hold herself together in a different way or she was going to fall apart all over the fucking floor. “But you do blame me for something.”
Kaz shook his head, letting out a hard breath. “Don’t do that, either.”
“Well, you said it.”
“You’re looking into something that’s not there—seeing it all wrong.”
“You said it!”
Kaz crossed the space between them in a flash, grabbing her waist with one hand, her jaw with the other, and pulling her close. With no warning, he closed that little bit of distance too, kissing her hard and fast, letting her find that familiar heat of his and how it soothed her like nothing else.
Violet sucked in a ragged breath when Kaz finally pulled away, rested his forehead to hers, and stroked her cheek with his thumb.
“I don’t blame you for this mess,” he said again, his tone much softer than she’d heard him speak before.
And maybe she knew it then …
What Vera had meant on the doorstep.
It was … like that for them.
“I blame you for being you,” Kaz murmured. “And who you are made it so easy for me to love you. And I blame you entirely for that.”
Violet felt a sliver of wetness escape from the corner of her eye, but Kaz quickly swiped it away with the next stroke of his thumb.
“You shouldn’t cry when someone tells you they love you,” he said.
“Should you cry if you’re just figuring out that you love them, too?”
Kaz smiled. “I don’t know. I’ve never been here before.”
“Yeah, me either.”
She still wasn’t sure if it was going to end well for them.
And that colored everything that should have been beautiful a little black.
Violet fingered the soft detailing on the silver comforter as Kaz paced the length of the spare bedroom.
“What are we doing?” she asked.
“I’m thinking,” he replied. “You’re …”
“What?”
“Helping.”
Violet scoffed. “By sitting here?”
Kaz’s pacing stopped abruptly. “Yes.”
“That doesn’t seem very helpful of me, Kaz.”
“You don’t seem to understand the importance of your presence. That, or you undervalue it a lot more than you should. And I partly blame that on your father because clearly he has it stuck in your head that your only use is to be pleasing and to his standards.”
Violet didn’t deny what he said.
It was true.
It just took her a while to see it, too.
“It might help if, instead of telling me why I am this way—something I already know, thanks—you could try explaining why I help you by just being here.”
Kaz’s icy gaze melted a bit. “I said that wrong, no?”
Violet shrugged. “Maybe just the wrong way.”
Instantly, he moved toward her, dropping down into a crouch, his hands finding her bare knees. After yet another snapping match between him and Vera, his sister had pointed out that she had a spare bedroom—if they wanted to use it—but that they needed to figure something else out and soon. Violet, wanting to get back into her safe place for at least a little while, had stripped out of her clothes and snagged Kaz’s shirt when he had jumped into the shower.
“You help me,” he started to say, “because even if you distract me a great deal of the time, that also means I’m focusing on only you. And right now, that’s where I need to focus. On you, Violet.”
“Okay.”
“That’s it?”
“If it’s what you want, then whatever.”
She didn’t have to pretend to understand him to love him. It just … was.
Kaz chuckled, and then leaned forward, resting his head on her lap. She trailed her fingers through his hair, taking that silent moment as there didn’t seem to be nearly enough of them.
“You’re one of my earliest memories,” Kaz said.
Violet’s fingers stilled. “What?”
“That day in the graveyard when you were four and I was ten. I have other memories of being younger than that, but that one day is so clear for me, above all the rest. I couldn’t see a thing, not good enough for it to be worth mentioning, anyway.”
“And what?”
“There’s no fuzziness around it. I remember things surrounding that day, and even going to the graveyard. But nothing was quite as clear and as bright as you. Everything was hiding from me in a way, because I couldn’t see it. I saw the sun that day, Violet, and it was you.”
Violet let her fingers start to wander and thread through his hair again. “I didn’t know you looked at it like that.”
Kaz laughed. “You jumped off the bench and told me we would do this again. I think I’ve been waiting for that day to come for a long time.”
“I was … precocious. Or that’s what everyone says.”
“You were—are—something else,” he said, pressing a soft kiss to her thigh.
Violet shivered when his lips touched down to her skin again … higher the second time, and then higher again the third time. Her hands slid down from his hair to his shoulders as he kissed a path over her thigh, and then her hip. His fingers worked at the two buttons she had done up at the middle of the dress shirt before he was pushing the clothing off her shoulders and kissing a slow trail from her navel to the lace covering her breasts.
Kaz’s hands cupped her neck and jaw, and his mouth came to a stop at the hollow of her throat. She felt his breath stutter against her skin, like he was chewing on what he wanted to say, but not sure he wanted to say it.
“I don’t know what’s going to happen,” he finally whispered.
Violet blinked away the wetness in her gaze, letting her fingers stroke his bare back, feeling his muscles jump under her touch. “Does it matter right now?”
“I want to tell you that I have it figured out—that it’ll be better tomorrow. I want to do that for you right now.”
“Kaz—”
His fingers pressed into her skin, rough but sweet, quieting her.
“I don’t want to lie to you,” Kaz said.
Violet hugged him. “So, don’t. Tell me something that’s not a lie. Something that’s true.”
Kaz kissed her collarbone, making a tremor race down her spine. His mark there had long gone away and faded, as had the other one on the other side. But she swore she could still see it every time she looked at it, and when she touched the spot, it was like every nerve was attached to that one part of her skin for a brief moment.
“Something true?” he asked.
Violet slid her hands from his back under his jaw, tilting his head up so she could see his eyes. Love stared back, and that was enough for her. “Yeah.”
“I would rather show you what you already know, Violet.”
She tipped her head down just enough to capture his mouth with hers. The soft, steady sweep of his lips, and the stroke of his tongue against the seam of her lips had her deepening the kiss. She wanted more of him then—more of him to taste, and to feel.
All of him.
Kaz never broke the kiss as he lifted enough from the floor to push Violet back to the silky comforter. He was already shoving his undone pants down along with his boxer-briefs a second before he met her on the bed. She widened her legs under his urging hands, hooking them around his waist.
When he finally tore his mouth away from hers, she only had one quick moment to take in a breath, and then he was there …
Violet felt his hand between their bodies, and his cock sliding against her slit. She wasn’t surprised that he was already hard. How could she when she was already gasping for air and wet from just the need to have him, and nothing more?
With one sharp flex of his hips, Kaz took Violet deep. The immediate rush of relief washed through her, and sent her head tipping back to the bed, exposing her neck to his mouth again. His groan buried into her skin, right along with the imprints of his teeth as her first cry came out broken and loud.
God, she ached for this man.
“Kaz …”
He grabbed onto her waist, and lifted up from her just enough that he could catch her kiss again. His tongue struck against hers hard, but it was the only roughness between them.
Their fucking had always been hard and fast. No matter where or when it had happened, it usually left her sated and tender, but still demanding more.
And this wasn’t the same at all.
But it still killed her just the same.
Slow, long thrusts that filled her, and took her higher with each one. His fingers raking down her skin while she traced the lines of his face and watched him from up above. The only sounds registering to her ears were the slap of skin, his shuddering exhales, and her whispers.
Violet tightened her legs around his waist, needing Kaz closer than what he was, if it were possible. She wanted to stay like that for a moment, chasing bliss, and watching him love her.
All that blackness she had seen coloring their world began to bleed away. Her fingernails dug into his back, raking lines over his skin.
“Love you,” he breathed.
She felt his lips tremble against hers with the words.
The tears fell, and he caught them.
“Love you,” Violet told him.
She was pretty sure she had never said anything more honest in her life.
And she probably wouldn’t ever find anything more true to say than those words to him.
Another slow stroke of his body into hers, and she was flying high, and crashing down at the same fucking time. It hit her when she wasn’t expecting it to, and that made it so damn good.
Good enough that she shook, and colors burst behind her clenched lids when she shut her eyes and her back bowed off the bed. Kaz’s mouth came down on hers, hiding the cry that crawled its way out of her throat. He pushed harder into her once, and on the second thrust, she felt him shudder as he came, her name muffled against her lips.
“Love you,” he repeated.
Violet let more tears fall.
She knew he did.
But they were still a little lost.
And that blackness was seeping back in.