Chapter Four

 

Ella

After I leave Damien, I head back home. I sit on my couch with my hand on my stomach, looking around my house, and thinking about everything that had happened today. I live in a three-bedroom house. It isn’t anything special. The walls are all a cream color since we had just recently moved in, and never had time to think about painting it. Now that I am looking around, I wouldn’t mind a little bit more colour in here. Maybe I could hire someone to do it for me. The master bedroom is where I sleep. It has an attached bathroom with a huge tub that I love to soak in almost every night. The closets are still full of Jeff’s stuff. I never got around to going through everything, and I don’t see me wanting to do that anytime soon.

The kitchen is my dream kitchen with a walk-in pantry and stainless-steel appliances. There is an island in the middle of the kitchen so that I have lots of room to bake and cook. I have always loved to do that. Jeff always told me that he could tell when I was stressed or sad because all I would do was cook or bake, and then we would have to give everything to friends. Cooking was the only thing that could calm me. We had got this house with the thought of filling it with a family. Since Jeff was a great lawyer, we didn’t have to worry about money. He always told me that I could stay at home if I wanted to, but I never did. Until now, that is. Stacey has moved in, and made a point of helping me through my tough times. I was glad that I had her in my life since I never really had many friends or family that wanted me since my mom had passed away.

I couldn’t believe the direction my life has now turned. The father of my baby is a biker. I didn’t know what to do with that information. I meant it when I said I wasn’t going to judge him because he chooses to be in a motorcycle club. If he talked to me like I was dirt on the bottom of his shoe, or if he had been an asshole during lunch, then I would have an idea of what kind of man Damien was. He had short, one-word answers mostly, but he got right to the point. I have a feeling that he doesn’t like stalling, and just wants to get everything out in the open. I like that since I will be having a kid with him. I know that I can expect him to tell me what he wants to say instead of having to figure him out.

He had mostly sat there and stared at me. I think he was doing what I was doing- trying to figure the other person out, and see if the person that you are stuck with is an asshole or not. I already know that his life is nothing like I expected it to be. We live two completely different lives. I know that if I were to just pack up and leave right now, I would never forgive myself. Something is telling me to give him a chance. I just hope I’m making the right decision.

It also helped that he was the sexiest man I have ever seen. I felt so guilty for thinking that since I have only been a widow for three months, but he was sitting there in front of me with his intense blue eyes, and dark brown hair that was messy like he had been running his fingers through it. Since he was sitting the whole time I was there, I couldn’t really get a full look at him. With his long legs under the table, I could tell that he would be tall once he was standing. He was wearing a black t-shirt under his cut. I never really looked hard at it, but all that I could see was the Vicious Snakes patch. It had the front part of a motorcycle and a Snake wrapped around it. The head of the snake’s mouth was open showing its teeth and tongue. At the top, it said Vicious Snakes, and on the bottom, it showed that he was the Vice President. I swear that I have seen that patch before, but I couldn’t quite place where.

I heard a lot about them over the years. All I knew about them was from town gossip, but I never believed any of it anyways. I have been gossiped about in high school and was the one that people joked about, so I knew not to listen to gossip unless it came from the source.

It’s a couple hours later, and I am still sitting in the same spot I was this afternoon after coming home from meeting Damien. Stacey walks through the door, takes one look at my face, and I can already see the concern in her eyes, but it’s not for the reasons she thinks.

“Hun, you should get up and get out of the house. I don’t like seeing you cooped up inside all the time. You know that Jeff would want you to live life, especially with the baby. It must not be good for the baby to sit around all the time. Let’s go for a walk or something. Want to go out for supper tonight?” She comes to sit beside me on the couch, puts her hand on my back, and starts rubbing.

“I’m not sitting here lost in thought for the reasons you think, Stacey,” I say deciding that I should just get it over with since she is my best friend.

“What’s wrong then? Is it the baby?” she asks with worried eyes, and starts looking me over for possible injuries.

“Yes and no. The clinic called today. You know, the one where I had got the sperm from?” I blow out a breath while she nods.

“Well, there was a mix up, and they gave me some guy’s sperm that wasn’t even a donor.” Stacey’s jaw drops, and her eyes open widely in surprise.

“What do you mean they had a mix up? How can they mix up something like that? What does this mean for the baby?”

“Well it means that now I have a man in my life that I wasn’t expecting. He wants to get to know me, and be a part of the baby’s life,” I tell her honestly.

“Can he even do that? I mean, I get that he wasn’t a donor, but can he just show up in your life like that and demand to see the child?”

“Well, I told him that if he wanted to be a part of the child’s life, I wouldn’t stop him, and he told me that he did, so we are going to get to know each other.”  She sits there in shock while digesting everything that I have said. I decide that we should order some take out since neither one of us is going to want to cook tonight. I walk to the kitchen to grab the menus to help us decide. When I come back to the living room, she is still sitting in the same spot lost in thought.

“Are you telling me that you are already talking to him?” she asks incredulously. I nod my head.

“Yes, I have already talked to him and met him at The Hole In The Wall Diner this afternoon for lunch. He’s, well… an interesting guy, let’s say that,” I tell her looking away. I already know that I am blushing remembering how good looking he was.

“He… wait, why are you blushing? Oh my god! What does he look like? He must be hot for you to be blushing! I don’t think I have ever seen you blush before,” she squeals in excitement, and claps her hands together.

“He’s a fine man.” Oh god, I sound like I’m eighty. I put my head in my hands to hide my embarrassment. I cannot believe that I just said that.

Stacey bursts out laughing. “ ‘A fine man’… wow…I don’t even know what to say to that.”

“Ugh! I don’t even know why I said that. He’s good looking, but I shouldn’t be thinking that way as it hasn’t been that long since Jeff died.” I feel tears well up in my eyes, and I look away to try and hide the guilt that I am feeling. I swallow the lump in my throat.

“Hun, you don’t need to feel guilty. It’s not like you’re going to sleep with the man or anything. Jeff would know that you didn’t plan on having another man in your life for a long time, but things happen for a reason. Also, it’s okay to find men attractive. There’s nothing wrong with it. I know you well enough to know that nothing is going to happen anytime soon with anybody, not just with your baby daddy,” she tells me giving me a hug.

“Now, let’s order some food and drink some apple juice, and you can tell me everything that happened today,” she says after we pull apart from the hug.

We order Chinese food for supper, and she comes into the living room with two glasses of ice cold apple juice. I can’t help the smile that comes to my face. I love apple juice, and I seem to love it more now that I’m pregnant. Apple juice has been the only constant craving so far.

I spent the night telling her everything about my lunch with Damien, and she can’t hide the surprise from her face when I tell her that he’s a part of an MC. I don’t know what to even do with that information myself. I can already tell that his life is different than what I am used to, but I already know that I am not walking away.

 

Damien

After lunch, I go back to the clubhouse and head straight for the bar. I ask the prospect behind the bar for a beer, and he opens it without question. They already know not to ask questions unless someone is talking directly to them.

I don’t know how long I sit there, but Prez comes out of his office and sees me. He comes straight toward me. I know that he wants to know how my lunch went. I told him before I left that I was going to meet this woman. Stitch, Prez, and Tech are the only ones who know about my situation right now. I know that I am going to have to tell the club at church since I will want her protected now that she’s carrying my baby.

The club has too many enemies for me to leave her alone. I know that I won’t feel right if someone is not watching her. People wouldn’t hesitate to fuck with the VP of Vicious Snakes MC’s woman. I guess that’s what she is now if I want her to be protected. I don’t even know what to do with everything that I learned today.

“How did it go?” he asks as he sits down. The prospect automatically hands him a beer.

I blow out a breath, and rub a hand over my face. “As good as can be expected. Fuck. She’s way too sweet to be hanging around me, but I don’t want to miss out on watching my kid grow up. I know that makes me a selfish asshole, but I can’t help it. I never wanted my child to grow up thinking that I didn’t want it, you know?”

Prez nods his head in understanding. He has a kid out there that doesn’t know him. It’s not that he doesn’t want to be a part of his kid’s life, but he was never given a choice. The bitch he got pregnant took off on him while he was on a run. I don’t know why he never got someone to watch her while he was gone, especially if she was carrying his child. It’s not that he loved the bitch, but he wanted to do the right thing. He had met Lily shortly after getting this woman pregnant. I already feel protective of Ella and I had only just met her a few hours ago. I don’t know how Prez deals with it.

“Fuck, I hear you brother. At least you have a chance. Don’t mess it up, you hear me?” Prez says to me while giving me a look not to fuck up.

“You ever try to find the bitch that took off with your baby?” I ask him. I honestly have always wanted to know as this had happened way back before I joined the club.

“I never stopped trying, but I think that the bitch changed her name, and I haven’t been able to find anything- no birth records with her name, or anything. She knew that I would be fucking looking for her. Still I come up empty, and I fucking hate it. Never knowing. I wonder if she kept the baby, or if the baby made it through the pregnancy, or what did she even have? Do I have a son, or a daughter out there? Fuck, it drives me crazy, and I know that Lily can tell how much. It fucking tears me up inside that I may never know.” Fuck, I couldn’t imagine if Ella just took off, and I never knew what happened to my baby. So many unanswered questions. Lily is Prez’s old lady, and has been for quite some time. They have two kids of their own. Both are boys, and are also brothers for the club.

“You got to bring her to the club. You hear me? If you want her to be protected, I want to meet this girl. Don’t need another bitch coming in and thinking she owns the place.” I nod my head, and he pats me on the back before walking away.

I don’t know how I feel about this whole situation. Kids have never crossed my mind, and now I am having a baby with a woman who is hot as fuck, but I have never seen naked. Fuck this is all kinds of messed up. I run a hand over my face, and head back to my room at the club.