––––––––

JESUS, REMEMBER TO breathe. 

As I step into Tensfield, this crazy memory of a TV interview with Sean Combs I think it was, P Diddy or whatever, and he was talking about getting shot at.  How time slows, and you can live an entire lifetime in that moment.

I’ve experienced that sensation twice in my life.

The first time was when I walked into this same room, her father’s office, expecting to have some business meeting I no longer even remember.  I saw her, right there in a patch of sunlight, sitting cross-legged on the floor in that blue plaid skirt. A tear on her cheek, as she stared up at me with the bluest eyes I’d ever seen and all I could think about was kissing it away. 

I knew she was too young, sitting there with skinned knees and raven black hair as perfect as if it had been painted by a master.  Her father, one of my business partners, stood over her like a tyrant, berating her about a grade in school and how he was going to take her books away.  And from that second, my respect for him crumbled.  But I knew I would never waver in my loyalty to him because loyalty would make sure I could stay close to her. 

In fact, I did everything in my power to get closer to him.  I became his best friend and confidant, all a ruse in order to keep Mia as close to me as possible, knowing only that I wanted to keep her safe.

When she’d looked across the room all those years ago, her blue eyes so clear and bright they were the only light in the dark of that space, I froze.  Just like I am now.  I don’t remember how long I’d looked at her then, long enough she’d looked away and back at me enough times that her cheeks blazed red and she tugged at the fingers on one hand with her other.

So much time has passed, but so much has remained the same.  She’s here, right where I first met her, standing now as if she’s been waiting for me to return, shuffling some papers on her father’s desk, moving them off the flat wooden surface and into haphazard piles by her feet.

I stand in the doorway, watching with a fucking hard-on. 

Blood rushes in my ears.  The thunder in my chest is painful, bringing back all those years when she was gone from me.

The heartbreak that came with every second of not knowing where she was.  If she was okay.

If she was warm and safe. Hungry or well-fed.  Happy or sad.

Then my heart turned to stone.  No one knew where her father had gone. The few friends I had left could find no trace of where they went, or at least no one was talking. 

But one glance and that cold rock where my heart used to be shatters and crumbles, the ache, the longing, returning with deadly force.

She hasn’t noticed me yet.  Her hair is the same black perfection I remember.  Her ass is hugged by a pair of stretch pants, partnered with a short red sweater on top that smooths and caresses all those amazing womanly curves.  I stifle a low chuckle as I glance down to see her wearing worn, simple, white Keds, the toes nearly rubbed through and with her usual mismatched socks: one with rainbow stripes, the other a serious burgundy, and black argyle.  Her socks never seem to match even when they are the same color.

She is, as she always was, the pinnacle of contrast. 

The sleek, impeccable beauty that she wears so effortlessly could walk any Paris runway.  Then there’s the absent-minded, careless child that keeps her soul pure and innocent.

My mouth waters as I remember the kiss that day.  Our first and only kiss. The promise I made to her.

A promise I’ve broken.

She raises her head, peering out the window across from the desk.  The house has the musky scent of being closed up for too long, but still her sweet fragrance cuts through the stale air and straight into my heart.

“Mia.”  Her name falls from my lips and I taste each letter as though it’s the sweetest candy.

Her head falls back to look toward the coffered ceiling, her hands pressing down flat against the stack of paperwork. Then I hear the release of a long, low breath, and I want to be there to feel its warmth on my neck as I nestle her against me.

With measured steps, my gaze never once leaving her, I close the space between us.  Each foot falls silently on the deep red and black of the Turkish rug.  It’s dusty, but almost brand new, a business-trip souvenir her father and I brought home just months before everything fell apart and my world came crashing down around me.

“Walker.”  She echoes, turning to strike me with those laser blue eyes, and for a moment I forget everything else except the fear. 

I’d never been afraid before I met her.  Not for as long as I could remember.  I was the street kid with a head for numbers, the guy who’d laugh in the face of a thug with a gun and dare him to pull the trigger.  But when I met her?  I learned fear.  The fear of losing her.  And that had come true.

“You just walk in without knocking?”  Her voice steady, as if she’d expected me.

“Door was open.”  I tip my head behind me.  “Besides, I never knocked before.  This always felt like home.”

Because of you.

My life before her, from as far back as I can remember, was fighting for everything.  Scrounging in the garbage cans behind the school for food as my so-called family drank or smoked the monthly government check away within hours of its mail delivery.

Then as time went on, it was fighting for respect. Fighting for the deal.  Fighting for the next opportunity.

“Doesn’t feel like home to me.  Not for a long time.”

I take the last steps that put me within arm’s reach. She turns to square herself to me and my heart stops when I see the flicker of gold at her neck.  The tiny “M” sits as it always did, ever since I placed it there at the base of her neck.  A gift for her sweet sixteen from me, and the thought that it’s been touching her all these years when I could not, bring me some minor sense of comfort as well as a spike of jealousy.

“Where have you been?”  I ask.  My fingertips twitch, daring me to reach out and smooth the loose hair that hangs on her forehead.

“Mexico.”  The tone of her voice tells more.  That it wasn’t her choice.  That she wasn’t happy there. “In a compound.  Dad died.”  Not passed away, not we lost him.  She shrugs one shoulder.  “Two weeks ago. I couldn’t wait to get out. All I have left is this place.  And Nana.  I have nothing else.”

“What happened?”  I feel no mourning for my former friend.  Instead, I mourn her words and the emptiness there.

I have nothing else.  They cut through me like a white-hot blade.

Mia lets out a sad giggle before answering.  “A fifth of vodka, a bottle of Percocet, and the hot tub.  Found him floating face down when I went out in the morning for my swim.”

“I’m so sorry.” 

She smiles at me, a hint of that sweet innocence cresting her plump, pink lips.  “I’m not.  He left us a long time ago.”

“Still.”

She nods.  “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be flippant.  Not after everything.  And I should thank you.”

“For what?”

“I know what you did.  It’s all here.”  She motions toward the papers.  “The delivery from the attorney this morning right before we left Mexico had a letter from father to me.  He explained everything.  Everything you did.  How you went to prison.  And of course, the money he’d managed to hide. Not sure how I’ll ever repay you.  Or why you would do that.”

“None of that matters now. How about we start with what I promised you for your birthday.  The birthday we never got to celebrate.”

Her cheeks ripen as I lose the battle to reach out and stroke her hair, fingers combing down through the silk to settle at the base of her neck.  The soft warmth of her skin explodes in me, the years of repressed desire all flooding my brain and shattering my control.

“Do you remember?”  I whisper, just before I bring my lips to hers.

Her breath stills as my hand grips the back of her neck.  The years of obsession pound in my head.  My heart.

And, yes, my dick.

Holding her again I know she is the most precious prize I’ll ever have.

“I remember it all,” she whispers.

I can’t hold back the smile, it feels unfamiliar on my lips yet it feels like the return of an old friend.  As our mouths connect I’m suddenly at peace.  The flavor of her comes flooding back as if this kiss is somehow part of that same kiss, the one I placed on her lips that first time.

The day I promised her that on her birthday I would come back for her. 

A promise I never kept.

Her soft moan is met by my low grunt of need.  Lust quakes through me, shaking every fiber of my being, and the sweetness that flows over my tongue has me salivating to taste her cunt.

My tongue seeks hers and she responds.  The tempo of her breath matches mine as our mouths dance, twisting and turning on one another’s lips. 

Her hands press on my chest.  My heart nearly pounds through my ribs as I lower one hand to that swell just above her ass and pull her hips into the thickening rod of steel between my legs.  Her name is branded all over my hard-on, and only she will ever be able to set it free.

“Do you remember when I said I was going to come for you, the day you turned eighteen?  That I was going to take you?”  Each word feels like it’s tearing itself from my raw throat.

“I do.  I remember every letter of every word from that day.  I’ve played it over and over in my mind for five years.”

“That day, you said you’d be mine.  That you would be waiting for me the next day.  You know what would have happened if I’d come, don’t you? What that meant.”

She nods, pulling her lips tight together and holding her eyelids closed for a long moment, before opening them and latching her gaze onto mine.

“Are you still ready?  We’ve waited long enough, Cricket.”  I don’t try to hide the desperation in my words.  “I want it all still. When I saw you standing here, it was like it was yesterday.”

“I’ve been ready. I wasn’t sure of that until just now, but I am.”  The sparkle in her eyes drives my cock painfully upward until it’s challenging the buckle on my belt.

I inch back just enough to get a grip on the hem of her sweater, then tear it up and off before she can protest.

A shy gasp escapes her lips and I’m fucking ravenous for her.  I slip my hands up the silky-smooth skin of her back until they hit the clasp of her bra.  Our eyes are unblinking as pink rises over her cheeks.  Her pupils dilate as the clasp comes undone easily, and I free her magnificent tits.

“Jesus,” I moan.  “You’re perfect.  So fucking perfect.”  A possessive growl rumbles in my chest. “Please, fucking tell me no one has touched you before, have they?  No one’s touched what’s mine.”

Her eyelids flutter as I see her swallow a desperate breath, her hands looping behind my neck.  The feel of her there, the delicate lightness of her touch, is infinitely better than I’ve imagined in the thousands of times I’ve played this moment in my head.

“No.”

Relief floods through me.  She is pure.  She is mine.

Her nipples harden as I cup each of her tits in my hands.  The weight of them is exactly as I dreamed, and I begin to roll the pebbled peaks between my fingers.  Her soft moan, the way her lips fall apart, and her eyes drift closed, makes my balls twitch and my dick grow another inch.

“Pants and panties off.  Do it now Cricket.”  I give my command with a pinch to each nipple, causing her to yelp as I step back.  Reaching down to stroke my painful erection through my pants, I try to calm the beast as cum seeps from the tip.

After a moment of hesitation, her hands move to the waistband of the black stretch pants.  She kicks off her worn tennis shoes, then begins to lower the pants, her feet wiggling and stepping on her socks pulling them off as well.

“You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.  You are such a good girl.”  She stills for a moment at the words.  A smile crests those lush, pink lips and I see the comfort glaze her eyes.  “You like being a good girl?  You’re my good girl, aren’t you?”

A soft nod and teeth indent her bottom lip, giving me her answer wordlessly as she slips the pants off and kicks them aside.  Her simple white panties have me drooling at the darkened wet spot I see.

“You used to call me that. I never told you how it made me feel.”

Her hands fidget at her sides, and that discomfort only serves to make me even hotter for her.

I strip off my suit jacket, tossing it onto the chair in front of the desk.  Next is my tie, then my shirt.  I need to feel her against me and I know that in a few moments I’m going to be drenched in her juices.  I want to wear them like a suit of armor.  I want to give her so much pleasure that her cum drips down my chin.

“Spread your legs,” I half bark, urgency welling in me as I step forward, closing the space between us. 

Her tits are perfect. Big and round, with the sweetest dark nipples that call for my mouth. I lean in, taking one in each hand, then trap one nipple between my lips and flick the hard, tightened pebble with my tongue, listening in awe as her breath hitches at the sensation.  Her flesh is hot as I pull her deep into my mouth on a hard suck, drawing her in and out, then latching on as if I’m a starving.

I move to the other side, wherever I taste her it gets better and better.  Her skin is sweet like she’s covered in candy-coating.

My hands come to her hips, holding her steady as I do something I’ve never done before.

I drop to my knees, lowering my hands to the full curves of her ass, pulling her to my face.  I bow down to her, and so I should; she is my angel, my muse, worshipping her is what gives my life meaning.

As I lean in, her cunt’s scent hits me like a freight train.

“Walker.” Her breathy whisper meets my ears as my lips take the first kiss of her sex.

I glide my tongue over the smooth surface. She’s bare and silky, and my gratitude overwhelms me knowing no one but me has been here before.  Her pussy is full and plump.  Perfect, just like the rest of her.  Her body trembles as I slowly slide my tongue down from the very top of where her cunt lips split open and taste the first sweet drops of her.

The inside of her is soft and slick.  Her flavor rips through me, driving down into my soul and attaching her to me in a way that will never be undone.  It’s like coming home.  That flavor winds itself around me and binds me to her like a greedy shackle.

My cock throbs until I think I may fucking pass out, but it doesn’t stop me.  When her hands come to rest on the sides of my head, balancing herself so that she can open her legs wider, offering herself up to me, giving me access to her warm flesh, I lose myself even more.  I eat her like a ravenous wolf, licking, and slurping.  I bring my hands down from her hips to pull her outer lips apart with my thumbs, making sure my mouth has complete access to her soft, pink inner folds.

I attack her clit, her fingers gripping and pulling at my hair as the volume of her moans ramps up.  I play with her engorged clit as she begins to move her hips against my mouth.  Her juices drench my tongue and I swallow greedily, wanting it all. 

She begins to plead with me as I tease her with a flick, then lick her opening, scooping up her cream with my tongue before nibbling my way back to the hardened nub.  I repeat the motion over and over until she’s desperate and begging.

“What do you want?”  I stop, looking up to see her flushed face and needy eyes.

“Walker, come on...”

“Come on, what?”

“Make me come!”

“What does a good girl say?”

She whimpers and I slide my thumb in a circle around her clit, not touching it directly, and her hips start to twitch in time with my movements.

“Please! Damn it.  Please make me come.  Please let me come.”

“Yes, now that’s a good girl.”

Her head arches back as I cover her clit with my mouth and suck on her hot flesh. My tongue works that hard nub until she is whimpering with every breath, then my teeth give her a final push.

Her orgasm takes her hard and she makes the most beautiful sounds as her body releases a gush of her pleasure into my mouth, which I drink down with joy.

Then something happens that hasn’t happened since I was a fucking teenager.  I come in my damn pants.  Without a touch of her hands, her body or her mouth, just the taste of her pleasure, the sounds of her climax.  My body shudders hard and I cream inside my damn boxers as she undulates with her release.  I nearly black out from the sensations.  The taste of her orgasm in my mouth, the love I feel for her in this moment, my own climax, all at once it is almost more than one mortal man can take.

Her orgasm seems to go on forever and she drives her pussy against my face with each wave until I feel her body go slack, and I reach up just in time to steady her before she falls.

I’m back on my feet then, hands around her back, swooping down to scoop her off the floor.  My dick has lost none of its hardness, despite the sticky release of my cum filling my shorts.  Mia’s eyes are at half-mast as I carry her to the long, velvet sofa in the center of the office.  It’s as deep as a bed, and as much as I’d love to take her to my own bed for what’s about to happen, I find it fitting that this place—the place where I saw her for the first time—will be the very place where I finally bring us together as one.

“You’re going to be mine today, Mia.”

With that, I lay her gingerly down on the chocolate brown cushions, center a pillow under her head and watch her hair splay out in waves beneath her flushed face.

I take a moment to admire her before stripping the last of my clothes off and leaving them laying in a heap on the floor.  To my surprise, Mia gives me a vixen’s smile as she pulls her knees up to her chin, then lets them fall open as she brings a finger to her mouth and bites down.

“Fuck. You are going to be the death of me.”

“I’m tired of waiting too, you know.” There is no hesitation in her eyes. “Every book I’ve read, every scene like this...I thought of you.”

I shift onto the sofa with her, on my knees, placing myself between her legs and bringing my arms up so my elbows rest on either side of her face. The tip of my cock weeps with cum and I fight the urge to spill the rest that is driving up my shaft onto her bare slit.

“Kiss me, Mia.”

She complies as I lean in and drag the tip of my cock against the scorching wetness of her pussy.  Our mouths connect hard, casting aside any pretense of civility as I center myself above her and push gently forward, opening her body with just the head of my dick and embracing the warmth as her wetness eases my entry.

Mia is fresh, a virgin, and I don’t want to hurt her more than necessary.

I draw back from our kiss. Her breath warms my face, her eyes urgent and wide.  Her legs open wider as I stall just inside her soaking opening. 

“Are you ready to take me?”  I grit my teeth against the urge slam into her like an animal.

She writhes beneath me, gently pushing her hips onto my waiting erection with a nod.

“Put your hands on my face then and look at me—don’t close your eyes.  I want you to look into my soul right now because that’s where you live Mia.”  Her body crowns my cock with her hot juices and I plunge forward past the barrier, feeling her tightness wrap around me like a promise fulfilled.

She freezes on our kiss, her fingertips digging into the sides of my face and her eyes rolling back.  Her pussy is soft, slick, unbelievably tight and willing.  The friction of even the first few inches inside her has me seeing stars, white dresses, picket fences and her swollen belly.

Quivering, painted mummers slip into our kiss before I pull away just enough to talk to her.

“I’m sorry, Cricket. I know it hurts.  It will feel better, just let me in.  Open your legs as wide as you can, baby.”  I feel her body shift beneath me as she complies.  “That’s my good girl.”

With that, I grimace and drive forward.  She cries out and I draw back before pushing inside her again and again until my balls rest against her flesh and her juices drip down my sack.

“Oh god. It hurts!  Hold there, don’t move, please...”  She stutters the words and I freeze, feeling the amazing movement of her walls around my dick as she shifts.  She’s so fucking tight I bite down on my cheek until blood seeps over my tongue to keep from going off right then and there.

Looking at her face, the tear that escapes the corner of her eye pierces my heart and I bring my hands to her hair, stroking and soothing her as I kiss her forehead.

“I have to move, baby.  It will get better, I’m going to make my girl feel so good.  I promise.”

Her slight nod gives me the okay and I begin to move again inside her, back and forth in short, slow strokes until I see her face lose its tension and her hips begin to sway with my movement.

“That’s my girl,” I grunt. “You’re just so tight.  We’re one now.”

“You’re tearing me apart,” she cries as I cover her mouth with mine and fuck her slow and steady until I feel her body cream again on my cock. If I stopped now it would only be worse, so I kiss her hard and deep in time with the motion of my hips until her return kisses rise with passion.

The head of my cock bottoms out inside her and the painful whimpers coming out of her turn to low moans.

Her body begins to suck me in.  Her pussy is milking me now, the silk pulling me upward with each thrust.

Her legs come up to wrap around my ass and I want to pound into her with a fury, but I force myself to hold back. There will be time for that sort of fucking, but that time is not now.  Her movements turn wild, fucking back into me with each driving, forward stroke, until the joy on her face turns to bliss.

“Come for me, baby.  Please God, I want to feel that on my cock.  Let me feel you cum on me.”  I’m begging and I press forward and up and down, forcing my dick in and out in short strokes while I grind my body down on her clit.

I bury my face in her neck, unable to help myself when my teeth clamp down on the soft flesh at the nape.  That only serves to send her further over the edge into a bucking orgasm that brings me right along with her.

As her fingernails score the flesh of my shoulders I roar low and loud into her neck.  Electricity shoots through me like I’ve never felt as we come together.  Jets of my cum fill her as I slam into her, holding myself there as deep as her body will allow as my balls deliver every drop.

We ride out the waves, dragged along by the tide of our release until we’re left breathless, clinging to one another like we might otherwise drown.  A sheen of sweat covers us, making our bodies slick and glistening.  She clutches at me and moans as the last of her climax winds down and our hearts pound in time against one another.

In that moment, an overwhelming thought begins to cloud my mind and I ease up, dragging myself off of her, slowly easing my cock from her clutching walls.

“Don’t move, baby.  I want to see your blood on my cock.  I want to burn this moment into my memory.”

I put a hand on each of her knees as I look down and withdraw, an inch at a time, enjoying the way her body spreads to pull me back in.  The crimson swirls that mix with our combined fluids tell me in no uncertain terms she is mine now.

The damage I’ve done is there in her blood, and I look into her eyes to silently thank her for giving me this, her most precious gift.  A gift I will spend the rest of my life trying to be worthy of.

I pull out the rest of the way on her sigh.

“That was worth the wait.”  Mia sighs and grins as I keep my eyes pinned to the swollen wetness between her thighs. 

“It was.  And I would wait a thousand lifetimes for you, Mia.”  Looking down at her face, seeing the pleasure I’ve given her, my heart nearly bursts from my chest.  “I love you, Mia.  But you are mine now.  Completely and utterly mine.”

“We should have used something.”  She looks worried but I quickly shut that down.

“Never.  I’ve waited this long.  There will never be anything between us again.  I am inside of you now. And soon enough, that will mean having our baby in your belly.  I’m never letting you go, Mia.  Never.”

“It’s like no time has passed.  Like we’ve been together all these years.  It’s so strange.”

“It’s us, baby.  Time has waited for us.  For this.”

She nods and I kiss her cheeks. Her nose.   All those kisses make me shudder at one thought. Why I need to know I’m not sure, but I do.

“Mia.”  I draw back, looking down into those ice-blue eyes that have decorated my dreams since the day I met her.  “I need to know something else.”

She blinks, struggling to focus, her lips parted and still wet with desire.  The scent of her breath swirls between us, the flavor of her cunt still thick on my lips and on hers.

“What is it?”  There is hope in her words, hope for what I’m not sure but in my mind, it is hope for us.  For a second chance.  For this to be our time.

“I asked you if anyone else had ever touched you, but...tell me there’s been no one else that even kissed you since that day in your room. I need to know.”  My heart thunders as I ask.  “Has anyone else kissed you, Mia?”

She swallows and I feel rage bubbling up in each second that passes. 

“Yes.”

That single word wipes all the light from me and thoughts of how I’d kill someone with my bare hands engulf me.