“I disrespected you, your club, and the man I love. For that I’m sorry.” I stand next to Saxon’s truck scared out of my mind that Curtis isn’t going to accept my apology. With every word I spewed out of my mouth, I knew it was wrong. Couldn’t help myself. Rules are rules. Some are made to be broken. Others are not. I learned my lesson that club rules are not.

If this is the type of rule that deserves a punishment, then I will not let Brick take it for me. I love him too much to allow that to happen.

“Apology accepted. Don’t let there be a next time, or you're gone, Eden. Respect is a two-way street. Don’t turn it one way. Now, here’s what you gotta do. Once we get on the road, you need to call Ricky and tell him he’s better off turning himself in to us than the cartel. I don’t care how you do it or what you say. You convince that fucker to meet us somewhere. Preferably with the kid.” I go to speak, but the look in his eyes telling me that’s all I’m getting from him has me closing my mouth, taking my phone from his hand, and climbing inside the truck.

I jump at the sound of motorcycles starting around me. Brick doesn’t say a word. Not until we jump on the highway behind the SUV holding Dilan, Katch, and Cain. I haven’t had the chance to talk to Katch yet. When I do, though, he will not be getting an apology like Curtis did. Not unless he gives one back. He might be a killer, but like I told him, he doesn’t scare me. Not when his wife has a big mouth and tells me how much of a softie he really is when it comes to women. What he said to me was meant to scare me. It didn’t. Therefore, I know I’ve earned his respect. It would disrespect a man like him if I apologized.

“Call him, darlin’. I won’t say a word unless I need to.” Saxon takes a hand off the wheel, squeezes my leg, and turns down the music. I hate how the quiet wraps around the cab of the truck. The side of his solid body pressed up to mine offers a wave of peace. I just hope it’s enough.

With shaky fingers, I dial the number I memorized the first time I knew it was Ricky. It rings and rings. I call and call. Frustration sets in the further we drive. Silence fills the truck with chaos controlling my mind.

“Get some rest. He’ll see those fifty missed calls from you. Don’t worry,” Brick reassures me. It doesn’t work. I’m frightened. Have been since Katch mentioned the cartel. I know that Dilan and Cain are mafia. I met them briefly when they all stormed into the clubhouse telling us it was time to go. I still have no idea what the hell is going on. I’m not about to ask. My faith, trust, and loyalty have been freely handed over to the club.

I lean my head on Brick’s shoulder and stare out the window. I’m trying so hard not to fall apart. To stay strong for Wilder. I can only take so much. Tonight with Saxon nearly broke me. I thought for sure he was going to kick me out. To tell me we were done. But when I saw the love he has for me in the depths of his eyes while he was chewing my ass out, I knew he wasn’t telling me good-bye. He was making me see that this is a life I know nothing about. It’s a life I have the privilege of being in, and if I want him, then life is simple. No questions asked. He put the ball in my court, giving me the choice. It was simple once he did.

My phone rings in my lap. I pick it up before seeing who it is. This is becoming a habit. I used to always check my phone. I used to do a lot of things differently before I met the man who is watching me out of the corner of his eye.

“Ricky,” I say, my voice strong.

“You Goddamn bitch. You been playing my ass for days. I’m done, Eden. I’m taking my son and skipping the country. You aren’t ever going to see him again,” he snarls.

“I don’t think so. We’re on our way, Ricky, and you're going to listen to every word I tell you; if you don’t, the people after you will get to you first, and it’s my understanding they don’t want their money anymore. They want you dead,” I lie. Brick smiles.

“What the hell you talking about, and who the hell is ‘we?’” I can hear the nervousness in his voice. He’s no longer in control with me and he knows it.

“The Mexican cartel, Ricky. Let me speak to Wilder,” I demand.

“Wilder is sleeping, you dumb bitch. Sounds like you’ve been on Google pulling out a fancy word like ‘cartel.’ They’d kill you in a heartbeat. Nice try, cunt. Who the fuck you with, Eden?”

“God, Ricky, you are so stupid. I’m not with the cartel. You are. You’ve been working for them for a long time. You fucked up and started stashing money from them, isn’t that right? You owe them big time. That’s why you killed my sister, isn’t it? She found out and was leaving you.”

Oh, my, God. I pull the phone from my ear and shake my head. I can’t do this anymore. It’s all making sense to me now.

“You son of a bitch. You will meet us outside Estes,” I cry.

Brick takes the phone from my hand without looking at me. I hear him telling Ricky who he is and barking out orders. Then he throws my phone onto the dash.

 I bring my knees up to my chest. My head filling with more guilt than I can take.

“You better start explaining what the hell just happened, Eden. That stunt could have fucked this shit all up. It’s a damn good thing I told him I was your boyfriend and we had the money. Now, tell me what the hell is running through that head.” He’s angry. Has every right to be, but I need a breather here.

“She knew. Zoe knew about the drugs and he killed her because of it. She really was going to leave him. It’s true, isn’t it? She was.” I have no idea why it hits me now when Katch outlined it earlier, but it does. Zoe hated drugs. She hated the fact that she had to take them to control her ADD, but she did. She was hiding them from Ricky all the time and with her job, seeing the way they destroyed people’s lives. My sister was stuck in a relationship she couldn’t get out of until it was too late.

“Yeah, darlin’, pretty sure that’s what happened.” He pushes my legs back down to straddle the gearshift then throws his arm over my shoulders, pulling me into him. My fingers move up and down his muscular thighs.

“Is it wrong of me to say I’m proud of her?” I murmur.

I’m not really looking for an answer as much as I want to hear it said out loud. Zoe was going to do it. She was going to come to me. The anger and hurt boil and rage inside wondering if it was a matter of seconds or minutes. I’m so mad at life that I’m screaming inside.

“Not at all. Not at all.” His kisses the top of my head and then focuses back on the road. “You should be proud knowing she was fighting to build a life for her. Some don’t get that peace of mind.”

“Saxon.” His name tumbles out in despair. “Clara had you and Zeke as brothers. I guarantee she fought with everything she had.”

“Yeah.”

I reach up and cup his cheek, wanting nothing more than to pull his face down to mine in this moment. “If you ever want to talk about her, I’m here.”

“I know,” he grunts.

“Bet that girl had you and Zeke wrapped around her little finger.” I fight to lighten the mood. It’s in the precious memories we will find our solace together.

He chuckles. “Little shit did. Fucking Zeke managed to get some photo albums out of our parents’ house before they pissed everything away. It’s hard to believe we were a normal family for a while.”

I tap my chin. “Mmmm, thinking the good old doctor needs to show me these photos.”

“You’ll laugh your ass off at me dressed as a Goddamn princess in those fake plastic high heels. Her friends ditched the damn weekly tea party she hosted. And dickhead Zeke could always beat me in rock, paper, scissors. My manhood suffered at the hands of that girl.” He pauses as if he’s reliving the memory. “I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat.”

“Baby, I know this has been hell on you, not only with the club but also pulling up old memories of Clara. And you’ve never given up; just one of the hundred reasons I love you.”

“Only a hundred reasons?” He glances over at me. “Darlin’, thinking my dick is responsible for ninety-nine of them.”

“Good Lord, just when I think you’re going all romantic and gushy on me, you have to pull out the dick card.” I slap his chest. Saxon places his hand over it before I’m able to pull it away.

“Oh, baby, I’m Prince Charming, all nine inches of it.” He squeezes my hand, letting me know he’s not done with our conversation. “Don’t say it much and probably never will, but thank you. Think it will do a lot of good to talk about Clara.”

I nuzzle down in his chest, making sure to not obstruct the view of the endless highway. The men plan to drive as far as their bodies allow. It’s simple and their game plan.

“Anything for you, Prince Nine-Inches Charming.” His hand goes back to the steering wheel, and I let mine fall to his thigh. It moves from the middle down to his kneecap then up, up, and up, nearing his groin. I repeat the action over and over. “I like to watch action movies. Think I could straddle and ride you while you drive down the road, giving the others a show. I mean, they do it in the movies.”

Saxon throws his head back, erupting in laughter. He laughs so hard he has to wipe away a few tears. “You think I’m fucking John Wayne?”

I shrug. “I’d put money on it that we could do it.”

“Eden, you are my crazy girl, that’s for sure. My outlaw world is bringing out the wild child in you. I’ll take you up on that offer of straddling me on my bike.” The mere idea of climbing on top of him on his bike sends a tingle between my legs. I’m too tired to think about anything right now.

“Just wait until our universe is back in line, and I’ll teach you wild child.” I yawn, barely getting out the end of my sentence, which really screws up the comedy of the joke.

“Close your eyes, darlin’. Gonna need your rest to save up energy for your stunt tricks, you wild woman.”

I don’t even have the energy to banter back with him. My eyelids flutter shut. The warmth from his body mixed with his scent wrapping around me lulls me halfway to sleep. The human body is a miracle. I learned this fact years back in medical school. The brunt trauma it can endure then heal itself has always fascinated me. Each system within working together to birth life to our flesh. It’s one miracle I’ll always respect. But it’s not until now that I can fully admire the power of the human body.

The fucking roller coaster ride mine has been on as of late, experiencing the lowest of lows and highest of highs with absolutely no warning at all. Yet, my heart still beats, my lungs absorb oxygen, and my joints work in unison. How? The support system around me, especially Saxon. He doesn’t sugarcoat shit and lays everything out with brutal honesty. He’s the only man I know who can flip a serious conversation to talking about his nine-inch dick. It’s not with disrespect but the full intention of keeping me grounded to reality.

There’s no kumbaya shit with him. Just like his club name, Brick, given to him for his physical features, but it also pays tribute to his solid heart and loyalty. The farther I fall into slumber, the more clearly I see Wilder racing around a playground with no cares in the world. He smiles and laughs freely with other kids his age. A puppy chasing him and then standing guard at the bottom of the slide waiting on his loyal owner. Brick on the bench with a bundle of blue clutched to his chest, and me standing admiring my life from the outside.

Everything fast forwards. Wilder graduating high school and a little mini-Saxon peeing on the rose bushes outside the high school not giving a damn that there are at least a hundred people moving freely around him.

“Aunt Eden.” I come face-to-face with a grownup Wilder. “Thank you for saving my life, raising me, and never letting me forget the memory of my mom.”

The last two words fade off into the distance. The picture of my future pixelated until pitch black remains. The truck dips into a pothole, rattling me half awake. A soothing baritone voice coaxes me back to sleep. I don’t hesitate, ask questions, or even object before the peaceful quilt of sleep takes over again.

* * *

“I’m going to stick my cock in your mouth if you don’t wake up,” the deep voice I love rasps in my ear. I stretch in the uncomfortable bed and squeal when the rasp turns into a low, rumbling growl.

“Fucking Christ, I should have woken you an hour ago to fuck those tits. Get your ass in the shower before those nipples of yours are in my mouth.” Saxon palms both of my breasts, slaps my ass, and gives me a little shove.

“You could always fuck something else,” I say as I swing my legs off the bed and make my way to the bathroom.

“Would love nothing more. We need to get a move on. Gotta meet that piece of shit in two hours. I’m going to run down to the lobby to grab some coffee. Don’t answer the door for anyone. You hear me?”

I roll my eyes. I’m sure everyone is either sleeping or making sure their guns are loaded.

“Yes, boss. Don’t forget my vanilla creamer,” I say, doubting very much this place has my creamer. It’s probably the shit powdering kind. I turn on the shower, wait for it to warm up, and step inside. This place is a freaking dump, but at least the water pressure is decent. Just have to avoid looking at the mildew in the corners of the tub.

I slept hours on end yesterday before Saxon woke me up because we were stopping for gas. We continued on, stopping a few more times. Once to eat and spend most of the ride to Denver talking about different things we didn’t know about one another. We laughed when we found out we both loved classic rock. Saxon told me he’s always wanted a large family. Whereas I never gave it a thought. I’ve been so wrapped up in Zoe and my job that my personal life sat on the back burner of my life. Now, as I stand in the shower, I can honestly say I would give it all up to be someone’s mother.

I sigh, open the shower curtain, and grab my shampoo and conditioner off the counter. There are certain things I’m willing to give up. Good hair products aren’t one of them. Blue jeans or heels either. I can’t wait to get a pair on my feet. The flip-flops I bought are a necessity right now, but my feet are aching for a pair of Louboutins.

My mind wanders back to the unexpected phone call I received from Ricky when we were walking back to our vehicles after eating yesterday as I lather my hair, rinse, and run the conditioner through my hair.

Curtis had me put it on speaker as we all stood there listening to him tell me there was a change of plans. We’re still meeting in the same spot, which is up into the mountains from this shitty motel, but he isn’t going to be there. He promised Wilder would be with a woman named Kate. We were to give her the money in exchange for Wilder. He didn’t give me time to say a word. He hung up and never answered my calls.

“It’s a motherfucking setup,” Cain said. “Curtis, Katch, and I are going ahead of you in the morning. Staking that place out. Don’t any of you leave the motel room until you hear from one of us.”

Don’t leave the motel room. That part keeps running through my head over and over. This shit-hole place is a one level motel with the doors walking right out into the open. He’s striding over to the lobby right now. Don’t leave the motel room.

“No,” I scream. Shut off the water, grab a towel, quickly dry off, and struggle to get clothes on. I know this is me being paranoid because it’s Saxon we’re talking about. Uneasiness creeps up my spine, my sixth sense telling me something is wrong.

“Saxon!” I yell, hoping he’ll answer me as I toss on his T-shirt. That and my panties will have to do. When he doesn’t answer, I begin to panic and fling open the bathroom door.

My panic turns into a muffled sob when a gun slams into the side of my head. My world spins and everything goes black.