Chapter 2 LOSER WITH A CAPITAL ‘L’
There he was, standing right in front of me in line.
I felt like a little girl in elementary deciding whether or not to talk to her little crush. My heart was hammering against my rib cage frantically. As corny as it sounded, I felt the whole zoo in my stomach.
I knew I was a love sick puppy, but I just couldn't help it. During the summer, I found his social media profiles and got some photos of him. I was just randomly surfing the internet to kill time, and somehow I ended up on his profile. It was either fate, or my stalker senses deep down inside.
I tapped my foot impatiently, trying to decide whether to tap his shoulder or not. It was now or never.
Time's running up Rosie, time's running up.
I took in a deep breath before lifting my index finger up slowly. Right before I could tap his shoulder, a voice interrupted me.
“Well, well, well, look who it is. Little Miss Rosaline Loser Winnefred!” she laughed, making an 'L' with her fingers on her forehead. Her voice sent me chills down my spine. Of course she would be here to ruin one of my brave moments.
I shifted uncomfortably as the whole cafeteria silenced. All eyes were on me, making me feel exposed. I glanced at where Axel was standing, but luckily, he wasn't paying any attention at all. I tried to play it cool like him and ignore her too.
“Bitch, don't pretend you don't hear me,” she growled, threatening me.
I knew I was stupid not to obey her, but you know what they say, 'Love is blind' so therefore, I paid no attention to her. I stood there, staring at his masculine back and the back of his head. I stared at his the way his perfect blonde hair was styled. I bit my lip nervously, wondering why Layla hasn't tried anything so far yet.
“Did you hear what I just said?!” Her tone was even more threatening now.
I was pissing her off with every second I was ignoring her. My heart was in frenzy. I didn't know whether it was because the head cheerleader yelling at me, or because the hottest male specimen ever was standing right in front of me.
I took long steady breathes to calm myself. Suddenly, I felt ice cold water being dumped on my back. The whole cafeteria erupted into laughter. I squeezed my eyes shut as Layla poured a whole bowl of soup on my head.
I opened my eyes slowly, feeling more embarrassed than ever before. Everyone was laughing at the display of the nerd getting soup dumped over her head. And unfortunately, the nerd was me. I didn't even bother to look up, because I knew I would be facing the embarrassing crowd.
I glanced at Layla, to find her already smirking evilly at me. She stood there proudly with her 'cheerleader friends' standing right behind her. I turned around to see if Axel was still there, but he was gone. It was like he vanished in thin air.
I felt relieved that he was gone. Looking on the bright side, at least he wasn't there to see me get humiliated. I don't know what came over me, but hot tears started sliding down my soup-covered cheeks. I didn't bother to wipe them away, because they wouldn't be able to see them anyway.
The tears blurred up my vision, and before I knew it, my feet carried me to the girl's bathroom as fast as they could. I ran straight to the girl's bathroom and locked myself in one of the stalls. Not bothering to wipe the seat, I sat down and let the rest of my tears run freely down my face.
I leaned my elbows on my knees and covered my face with my hands. I hated myself for not standing up to her and for letting her humiliate me. Even if I tried to stand up to her, she would always find a way to put me where I belong anyway, so why bother?
Axel. Axel is why you should bother.
I ignored my inner self for a moment. My inner self was blinded by emotions. “Shut up feelings, just shut up for once!” I growled at myself. I sat there for what seemed like forever.
A part of me was telling me I should've listened to Layla in the first place. If I had just obeyed her, none of this would've happened. But another part of me was yelling at me and telling me to fight back.
“Love is stupid, love is blind, and I'm in love with a stranger who doesn't even know who I am,” I laughed with no humor.
I had no plan of escaping that stall anytime soon. I wasn't ready to face the outside world yet after the incident. I thought I would never be able to face the outside world ever again. All the faces of classmates laughing at me getting humiliated.
The teachers might've tried to prevent bullying, but they never tried hard enough.
“Tell an adult, they'll help you.”
Well, from my experience, adults couldn't do shit about bullying. From the day she started her mission to break me down; no adult had backed me up or had been on my side.
Out of all the people she could've picked on, she picked me. And I had no idea why. Maybe it was because I was an easy target, or because my face annoyed her. But from what I knew, I had never done ANYTHING to her. From the moment she heard my name, she had never thought twice about hurting me.
She had moved here when she was 12, and that was when I met her. It was the first day of school when I first saw her. The only thing I did was introduce myself to her, and before I knew it, I was an instant target for her. And the funny thing was there were wimpier people out there like me, but she never spared a second glance at them.
“Rosie! Rosaline! Winnefred!” Kasay's frantic voice filled the bathroom.
I sniffed away some tears and kept quiet.
“Rose, is that you?” She asked.
I whimpered quiet, hoping she didn't hear me, but that chick had super hearing when it came to finding someone.
“I know it's you...” She trailed off softly.
I was in no mood to deal with anyone, so I stayed quiet. I looked up at the stall door in front of me, debating whether I should open it or not.
“Can you come out?”
I shook my head in reply even though she couldn't see. I just couldn't trust my voice to speak.
“We were so worried when you left the cafeteria. Jaxon dragged me all around the school like a ragged doll trying to find you,” she said. “First, we went to the computer lab- no luck. Then we went to the upstairs science lab, no luck there too. We searched some empty lockers, but you were nowhere to be found.”
She chuckled. “Jaxon actually thought you got stuck in one of those lockers. You know how panicky he gets when things don't go his way. Drama queen!” she laughed.
A smile crept up on my lips as I imagined Jaxon with disheveled flaming red hair and crazy hazel eyes.
“He doesn't know you as well as I do though.” She said snottily. “I told him you'd be in here, but he wouldn't listen. He said you wouldn't hide in here since you don't like places infested with bacteria.”
I imagined her shaking her head on the other side of the door.
“The idiot has less brain than all your stuffed animals’ combined,” she snickered. “So are you going to come out here nicely or do I have to kick the damn door down?”
I got up from the toilet seat slowly before opening the stall door. Right when I opened the door, she pulled me into one of her killer hugs.
Her hugs were called 'Killer Hugs' for a reason. Every time she pulled me into a killer hug, I always seemed to hear a few of my ribs crack. She squeezed me so tight; I felt a lack of oxygen in my lungs. After a few minutes of oxygen debt, she finally let me go and ruffled my hair with her bacteria infested hands like I was a little kid.
“No offense but you like shit,” she stated. “Let's get you fixed up.”
“I'm not skipping school,” I stated.
“Why not? It's just a few classes-”
“Kasay, no.” I stared her straight in the eye.
After a few minutes of us staring each other down, she finally gave up and sighed.
“Fine, I'll get you a hoodie from Jaxon.”
She slipped out of the bathroom for a few minutes before she came back in with a back hoodie with 'Drama Club' in yellow bold letters on it.
“Cover up,” she threw the hoodie at me. I failed to catch it so it fell to the floor. “I thought you had afternoons off.”
“Depends on the day, but usually I have mornings off.” I corrected her as I picked up the bacteria infested hoodie from the ground.
“Lucky bitch.”
If she only knew how shitty I was feeling inside...
~*~
“First off, you've got to get rid of those stupid braces.” Kasay paced around my room. “Didn't you get them like five years ago?!”
“Six years ago,” I corrected her. “They’re not stupid, they're actually helping me.”
“Your teeth are already straight,” she snorted. “They were straight before your stupid step mommy came along.”
“Not the point.”
“You're right. The point is you've got to get rid of those damn braces!”
“I can't just walk up to a random Orthodontist and tell them to remove my braces! My step mother is best friends with all the Orthodontists in town! Heck, she’s somehow best friends with every single adult.”
“Pussy.”
~*~
After I kept the hoodie on all day long and avoided everyone we decided to come back to my house. My step mother was up in the study working on who knows what while my non-existent dad was traveling in some part of China trying to do business.
Kasay had cleaned me up. She made me shower and wash my hair, and she straightened my hair for me. She put on some light makeup on me for no reason and decided to pick out a skirt I had never worn for me to wear.
She said I was picture perfect, except for my braces. Me having braces was the 'only reason' I was still nerdy, because they made me look like I was 12. That's why the only guys who seemed to look at me were freshmans. Her idea was to fix me up and make me ‘pretty’ so I would no longer get bullied.
“You should just tell her you want your braces off!”
“I've told her before!”
“Well, you obviously haven't nagged her enough about it.”
“If you were in my position you wouldn't either!”
“She's just using you!” she pointed out before shaking her head sadly. “She's experimenting on you like a damn lab rat.”
The words stung. Even though I knew it was true, I refused to admit it. She had to at least care for me. But Cleo had never shown any affection towards me.
I had never wanted a step mother in the first place, but my dad wanted someone to care after me. He was pretty desperate after my mother left us. He went on multiple dates with women until he found the one 'fit' to take care of me.
“Do you know the feeling?” The question slipped out of my mouth before I could stop it.
“What feeling?”
“The feeling you get when you're dying for someone you notice you, but they don't even know you exist.” I stared out into space.
She tilted her head to the side. “You mean a crush who doesn't notice you?”
I shrugged, “something like that.”
“I haven't had a crush since elementary,” she admitted. “Crushes are called that for a reason. They leave you crushed.”
I sighed hopelessly; there was no hope in the situation. Axel would never notice a girl like me. I was merely a shadow. I had no one to go to for advice besides Kasay. Jaxon wouldn't be the right person to go to since he'd probably say something like
'If he doesn't notice you, then he's an asshole and he's not worth it.'
No one understood my situation. I was stuck in between failure and failure.
“Who is it?” Kasay questioned.
“Who's who?” I asked.
“Who's the guy?”
I decided it was best to play dumb. “What guy?”
She narrowed her eyes at me. “You can't play dumb with me. I know you like the back of my hand.”
I still played dumb, “I honestly don't know what you're talking about.”
“You're a horrible liar.” She shook her head.
“I seriously have no idea what you're talking about,” I lied again, attempting to sound smooth.
“No need to be shy. I'm your best girl friend!”
“Did you hear about the costume dance this year?” I asked, trying to change the subject.
“I know exactly what you're trying to do.” She gave me a flat look. “You can't run away from the subject.”
“I actually think I can.”
“Just tell me already.”
“No.”
“Why not? Please?”
“No.”
“Pretty please?”
I didn't reply.
“Pretty please with a cherry on the top?”
“Of course!” I beamed.
“Really?” she asked her voice filled with hope.
I gave her a dry look, “no.”
“Tell me who the lucky bastard is!”
“There is no lucky bastard!” I snapped at her.
Only an unfortunate guy who has stolen a nerd's heart by accident…
“Rosaline, is that you?" My step mother called from her office.
I rubbed both my temples before shutting my eyes.
I officially hated my life.