Hospital? Dad? What?
Did he just say that we’re going to go see my dad at the hospital? What the hell possessed him to say something like that? And why did he think I would be totally cool with bringing a complete stranger with me to meet my dad? This is getting too complicated too fast. I can barely keep up.
First, I thought we were all cool. This was just business, and I was going to make exactly what I needed to get my dad through whatever medical needs he is going to have. And then, well, then we screwed, and now there is this weird vibe between us. Liam is acting like he needs to protect me from these big ol’ boogie monsters, and I somehow feel as if I should play the role of the cowering princess in her tower. This ain’t me. Granted, I’ve never been wrapped into some huge scheme involving stolen diamonds, motorcycle men, and issues with a potential coup going on… but still. Could the real Alana please stand up and knock some damn sense into herself?
My face is stone blank as Liam reaches behind him and grabs my hand. I can barely register the rest of the conversations between his guys and their boss. It’s a whirl. They agree to it, at least I think they do. I can see on their faces that the Jason guy, Liam’s vice president, isn’t exactly the only one who seems agitated that a girl like me is becoming an honorary member of Steel Saints, even if it is just for a week or two.
There are some handshakes and some murmurs about keeping it low and “in the circle.” And then, he pulls me out of that room, past the faces of the men who look impossibly drunker than before. They leer at me with eyes that say just one thing. All I can do to keep my confidence up is to brainstorm a million adjectives to describe this scene on the blog. Readers won’t believe a damn word of it, but it would be a hell of a story to share if I could just get to my laptop.
We’re back outside before I even notice my feet hitting the concrete and the truck being turned on. Liam tosses me the keys as he says, “Get in. Drive. Don’t slow down.” I don’t understand the last part. Why wouldn’t I slow down? Why would I need to speed? Were we in some kind of danger that I haven’t picked up on? My heart begins to beat steadily against my chest, and I seriously contemplate if this is what a stress induced heart attack feels like.
My hands are still shaking as I turn the key in the ignition and back out of the parking spot Liam’s got us in. I weave in and out of a few rows of motorcycles, lined like a black and chrome wall to keep those who don’t belong out. Thank God my dad made me practice my driving skills for over two years before he first let me drive this thing. “Ice cream trucks and sharp turns don’t exactly mix, Alana.”
Suddenly, I realize just how much I do want to see my dad, Liam or not. Once we’re past the gated fence, I ask him as uncaring as possible, “Why did you say we were going to the hospital, Liam?”
“Because we are.” He leans back all the way in the seat, his black boots resting on the black leather dash as they scuff up the hard cleaning job I did just last weekend. I knew my father would have wanted me to keep this place as perfect as possible while he was out of commission. Pride in your truck is pride in your business. My heart breaks again. I really, really need to see him.
“Okay. I get that we are seeing him, but why? What the hell does he have to do with anything that’s going on tonight or with me? I don’t want to rope him into this. When he wakes up, I don’t want him to know what I did to keep him in that hospital room.” I lay it all out there like a blocked dam ready to spill over. Liam wasn’t exactly the guy you wanted to open up to, but there have been moments now where I feel oddly compelled to spill.
“Don’t worry, Alana. No one is going to mess with your dad. But I need your truck, you, and me to be in specific places to cover my tracks. If they know I went to headquarters with you, they will get suspicious that you’re involved. And then your dad has a problem. This is how we protect you. We make it look like you’re with me and I’m with you, and that this is natural. A boyfriend would go see his girlfriend's dad in the hospital, right?”
“Wait a minute. Fake relationship? We’ve moved into a fake relationship status?” I state, unsure of how I am really feeling about this.
“You want to write about me in your blog, you’re going to want to write about me doing boyfriend things. Again, we’re laying some foundation here, making some cover stories. The boys are going to want to know that they are protecting you for good reason and cops or whoever may come after me will want to think you knew nothing about what was going on in the back of your truck.”
Liam says it so matter-of-factly as if this was his plan all along. I wonder how he manages to bullshit so easily and quickly. I was never great at thinking on my feet like this. I could barely get through a test unless I studied four or five hours the night before. And don’t even try me on putting on presentations or giving an impromptu speech for some of my grad classes. I think even my most well-meaning professors have totally given up on making that happen. I am completely helpless.
“Come on, Alana,” he says, suddenly reaching over to tug on a strand of hair tucked behind my ear. The small pain makes me turn straight towards him as he stares into my eyes. “This will be easy. Just play along. Do what I tell you to do, and don’t ask so many questions. That’s how you got yourself into this in the first place.”
Yeah. I asked a question about what the hell his guys were doing to my ice cream truck, and now I am a member of some diamond smuggling ring. Questions, as he says, are what are getting me into trouble. I am vowing to just roll with it. There was nothing more I could do at this point but to trust that Liam knew exactly what he was doing and that he was willing to protect me. All those other pieces of fear and doubt could be put into writing.
St. Luke’s Hospital in Las Vegas is only a few minutes from the warehouse district where Liam’s headquarters are located. As he commanded me earlier, I don’t slow down. In fact, I think I blew through a few red lights during that momentary stare down. Just another way that he’s forcing me to break the law. I have to get this together.
After I park the ice cream truck in the lone area where it will fit, Liam runs out the passenger side and pulls open the door. Like some deranged black knight in shiny leather, he offers me his hand as I scoot myself out of the driver’s seat. I take it, giggling to myself, but he doesn’t let go when I’m on my feet. He holds on tightly as we enter the hospital’s gold and crimson waiting room and past the blue-clad security guards with their large nightsticks and buzzing walkie-talkies. One of the men, an overweight man in his late fifties, nods his head at me as we pass. There’s not a person to tell me that visiting hours are through or that I need to come back tomorrow. I’ve spent quite a few nights here, and I’ve become a regular to even the lowest security guard on the totem pole. And for Liam, that’s even better news. His steps even seem to become impossibly lighter.
We enter the elevators, our hands still clasped and our arms rubbing up against one another. Neither of us looks at the other, we just stare at our reflection in the elevator’s bronze closed doors. We look the part of boyfriend-girlfriend. He, with his concerned and wary looks over the top of my head, and me with my slight smile and tired eyes -- we could be just about any couple visiting a parent or a friend.
My dad’s room on the fifth floor is always quiet. I noticed it on the first day he was brought here. The nurses seemed less panicked, more patient. It certainly wasn’t like the Intensive Care Unit where they were constantly running from one room to another to address a strange beep or that occasional horrifying sound of someone flatlining.
This is the floor, and these are the rooms where people come to die. They didn’t tell me this, of course. I had to figure it out on my own. I started seeing the word “hospice” appear on forms I had to sign, and sweet caregivers with friendly hands popped their heads in more than the nurses to offer me some coffee or a moment to sit with my dad while I grabbed a sandwich or went off to class.
My dad isn’t dying, though. At least, that’s what Dr. Underwell keeps reassuring me each and every day I ask. “He’s hanging in there,” he tells me, sometimes placing a hand on my shoulder. “We don’t know what tomorrow will bring. So we just have to wait.”
And I wait. And wait. And wait. I wait in the quiet by myself hoping beyond hope that the monitors connected to him will do something other than ticking the seconds and heartbeats that go by. Tonight, at least, I am waiting with someone beside me, someone who doesn’t really understand the whole “hospice quiet” situation. Liam looks around, puzzled, at the lack of interest being paid to us by anyone in this wing.
“Are you sure you’re in the good hospital? Shouldn’t those nurses be doing… I don’t know, something?” I reach up for the crook of his arm, patting it gently. Again, I’m not sure why I have this urge, but I do. It’s something a girlfriend would do to a clueless boyfriend, and I need to play this part.
I bring him into room 302, not bothering to knock. It’s not like anyone would answer anyways. Dad’s room is completely dark. The nurses usually turn off the lamps above his bed around nine p.m. One of them joked that he would need rest as well even if that were all he did. Nothing has changed today either except that his small frame is slightly propped up on one side by a few bed wedges. He looks completely natural this way as if he’s rolled over himself.
Liam lets go of my hand and takes a seat in one of the two chairs next to my dad’s bed. He actually looks interested, examining the setup of wires and tubes, the ice pitcher with a few unused clear plastic glasses set up, and the notes from the nurses from the day shift explaining what protocols they took today. Not much was written on my dad’s schedule. In the big yellow circle on the white whiteboard that says, GOALS my mind writes, WAKE UP! I then blink, and it’s as blank as it was the day they brought him in here.
Liam clears his throat loudly, admitting, “I’m not great at this stuff. Hospitals… I don’t know. I never can do them. It must suck to be in here all the time.”
“Yeah. It really does. It gets boring. Sometimes I watch TV or study to pass the time. Sometimes I talk to him, but I’m awkward at doing that.”
“Shouldn’t you introduce me to him?” He gestures as I sit next to Liam. “I mean, that wouldn’t be awkward at all…”
I lean myself into him, playfully pushing him with my shoulder. But he doesn’t budge. His glare remains on me until I take a deep breath and slowly say, “Hey, Dad. There’s someone here I want you to meet. This is Liam Murphy. He owns The Emerald Pub, and he’s a boxer. You’d probably not approve.”
“It’s nice to meet you…?”
I realize that I have yet to tell him my dad’s name. It’s such an unimportant point that strangely seems pressing when Liam is staring you down. “His name is...” I gulp, holding back some tears that feel as if they have congregated in the middle of my throat. “His name is Charlie. Charlie Bloom.”
He doesn’t look away from me as he says proudly, “It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Bloom. Your daughter is a strangely amazing person. I think you’d be proud of her if you knew what she did tonight.”
I let out something that’s a half-cry, half-laugh. It pours out of me with all the other stress from the day, and there is nothing that I can do to stop it. Hearing someone call my dad “Mr. Bloom” other than the nurses is just too much. Add that on top of what I did do to get us here tonight, and I can’t control any part of my body anymore. I fall to pieces right here in this metal folding chair some nurse was kind enough to bring into the bare hospital room.
The top of Liam’s forehead creases as he turns his knees towards my chair. An arm wraps around the back and rests up against the top of my arm and shoulder. His other hand finds mine, resting upon my knees. Those long, large fingers wrap in between mine, engulfing my hand in his palm. It takes a long moment before I am ready to look up at him, but when I do, I see something softer in him that I have yet to see all night. It’s a glow, a warmth; an opening that transforms him from the guy who basically kidnapped me, to the guy who is sitting here holding my hand, silently telling me that it is going to be alright.
And I believe him. As crazy as it is, I believe this terrible, horrifying man. And maybe I am still in a haze when he says the oddest thing. “Alana,” he whispers as he fingers run over my knuckles, “I think that there’s something happening between us. I don’t want to leave you alone.”