CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Ainsley

I was sitting behind my desk, doing my best to work. I felt drained and miserable after that confrontation with Drake.

Why did I have to go and shout at him like that?

All things considered, I had been perfectly within my rights to blow up at Drake – he'd had it coming for the last eight years. But I still regretted it. I was just starting to like him again.

After my shouting at him like that, he'd probably decided to walk away for good. Oh, well. I tried to make myself believe it didn't matter, that there were plenty more where Drake came from and so why did I care? I considered getting hold of Lacey and trying to find Warren Lark – the guy I'd met at the party with her. That ought to make me feel a bit better.

“Ainsley?”

I turned to Emmy, who was sitting at her desk with a big frown tracing her brow. “Yeah?”

“Do you know where blue whales go in the winter?”

I stared at her. “Is that a trick question?”

She laughed. “No, I mean it. I'm helping Stan with his project. For seventh grade. It's about sea creatures.”

I rolled my eyes. “I don't even know where blue whales come from. Never mind where they go to. Ask Google.”

She laughed. “Okay, I'll ask Google. Here we go. Blue whales...winter. Listen to this. The blue whale spends its winters in the warmer waters of the Gulf of Mexico, migrating in the summer months to the arctic. So that's a trick question, isn't it?”

“A trick?”

“Well,” she smiled. “They don't go anywhere in winter. They're here in winter – they go away in summer. To the Arctic.”

“Just put “Gulf of Mexico,” I cautioned. “That's easier.”

“Well, okay,” she said with a shrug. “I guess so.”

I nodded. “Sorry, Emmy. My head hurts anyway...figuring out migratory patterns of the Blue Whale is a bit advanced right now.”

“Had a long day?” she asked sympathetically.

“Not really,” I said. “Just a hard one.”

“Oh. Well, it's lunch break,” she said cheerfully. “I'm taking Piper and heading down to the Food Dudes. Want to come?”

“Uh, no. Thanks,” I said politely. “I have to stay and finish this preface.”

“Oh. Okay,” she shrugged, then stood and unslung her handbag from the back of her chair, wrapping herself in a thin yellow cardigan. “Don't work too hard, hey?” She said on the way out the door.

“I'll try not to,” I said.

When she had gone, I leaned on the desk with my arms, rested my head on them and tried not to cry.

I shouldn't be letting this get to me. It's not like we'd been together long. It was three days or something.

Three days and eight years.

Yes, it was a big deal I assured myself. Finding Drake after so long, then losing him because of a stupid fight was reasonably that upsetting. I wished it hadn't happened like that. If only I'd never seen him in the park. But if I hadn't? I would still be resenting the fact that he never told me anything and I'd still be shocked by how much he'd changed. I'd still be mad at him for refusing to tell me what was on his mind.

I glanced at the clock. It was one P.M. I stretched out the aches in my back and considered going to find some lunch myself. No point in starving myself on top of all his nonsense.

I shrugged on my leather jacket and headed down the stairs into the street.

As I walked along the sidewalk, heading to Starbucks, my phone went off.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Ainsley?”

I stopped dead. “Hello?” It couldn't be. How could it be?

But it was. “Hi, Ainsley,” Drake said. “Are you having lunch now?”

“Y...yes,” I said. “Are you?” I couldn't believe it.

“Yeah,” he said. “But I'm lonely and I was wondering if you'd do me the honor of joining me at the cafe?”

“You mean Roast and Ready?”

“Yeah,” he said. “It's not too far from your work, you said?”

“Yeah.”

I felt as if I was floating as I walked quickly and briskly up the sidewalk, around the corner and into the main street. It was as if my skin was porous, or magnetic, somehow drawn toward him. I could almost have found him, I fancied, just by shutting my eyes and walking up the sidewalk. My heart was tuned to him like a compass pointing north. It always had been.

I arrived at the cafe and spotted him at once in the back, sitting with a coffee and a bagel.

“Drake?”

“Hi, Ainsley,” he said. He looked up and smiled and I was shocked to see how tired and drained he was. His handsome brown eyes were sunk deep in under-eye bags and his skin was pale and grayed out as if he hadn't slept properly for days.

“Drake!” I said. “Hell. What's up? You look...” I trailed off, unsure what to say.

“Thanks,” he grinned dryly. “I feel like that too.”

We both laughed and I took a seat opposite him. “Seriously,” I said as I turned to face him. “What have you been doing to yourself? You look wrecked.”

“Thanks,” he said again with a humorless chuckle. “I feel pretty wrecked. It's just stress.”

“Oh.” I frowned. “Tell me about it?”

“That,” he said with a lopsided grin, “is exactly what I promise to do. But first, a request.”

“Sure,” I said, feeling a small fireworks-display go off inside me at his suggestion of information shared.”

“Okay,” he said. He looked at me and grinned. “Will you come to my place for dinner?”

“Oh!” I smiled at him. “I'd like that. I think,” I added wryly.

He chuckled. “You remember I'm not a very good cook.”

I shot him a look. “You're very good. You just do too much at once.”

“And then get stressed when it's not perfect. I know,” he sighed.

“The story of your life?”

He shot me a weary smile. “Uh-huh. How'd you know?”

I laughed. “I do know you, Drake.”

He nodded. “You do. And I wanted to say sorry. Properly this time.”

“Oh?” I frowned. My heart, which had been in danger of melting from the moment I got his message, was actually floating now, like butter does, melting in the pan.

“I never said sorry for keeping secrets from you. For not being honest. For not telling the truth.”

I swallowed hard. “No need,” I said hoarsely. “Actually, that's not true,” I countered. “There must have been a need, or it wouldn't feel so good now.”

He smiled and I sniffed.

“Kleenex?” he dug in his pocket and passed me a tissue. I smiled.

“Thanks.”

“No worries.”

We sat there in the busy, loud cafe and the sound rose and fell around us. I couldn't have been happier if I'd tried. My whole soul felt at peace for the first time in ages. Ever since he'd come back into my life, something had been not sitting quite right. Now that he'd said sorry and meant it, the pieces had fallen into place again.

“What time is dinner?” I asked.

He grinned. “Well, I'm going to duck out of work at five, and so I'll start cooking at six...shall we say six thirty?”

“Okay,” I said brightly. “That sounds perfect.”

“Of course I won't be finished then,” he warned. “In fact, I'll probably just have started and there'll be two pans with stuff in them and a third one with something burning in it and I'll need you to take over or call the fire-department...” he trailed off, laughing.

I laughed too. “Oh, Drake,” I said. “I'd almost forgotten.”

“Forgotten what?” he asked. His eyes, despite their tiredness, crinkled merrily at the corners and he smiled.

“How there's never a dull moment,” I said.

He grinned at me. “You think that because my life's never dull when you're in it.”

My heart ached with the sweetness of that.

“Oh, Drake.”

“What?”

“You say the sweetest things sometimes.”

“Sometimes,” he demurred. “But I haven't said very nice things to you lately. Or very much at all. And I am sorry. I want to change that.”

“Good,” I said.

We placed our orders and had lunch in a companionable quiet. We discussed dinner recipes and he said he was going to make a surprise. I said I couldn't wait. He laughed.

I floated out of the cafe feeling as if my world had suddenly filled with sunshine.

In my office, I heard Emmy on the phone.

“Blue whales, Chad. Whales.” a pause. “Yes. That's right. Anything you can find. The bigger the better. Thanks, honey. Bye, now.”

She put the phone down none too gently and turned and looked at me.

“I'm not asking,” I said innocently.

She sighed. “That was my husband. Chad. Asking if he can get some cardboard from the office suppliers for the project.”

“Ah.” I smiled at her. “The demands of parenting, huh?”

“It has some weird demands,” she admitted, rolling her eyes.

I laughed. “Well, I just learned more about blue whales than I ever thought I knew.”

“True,” she said. “You look happy,” she added, insightful.

“I am happy,” I admitted. I knew I was probably sitting grinning stupidly, and I could feel the warmth flaming my cheeks. I was giddy and silly and the world was a beautiful place and I was so, so happy.

I was going to Drake Leblanc's for dinner. Tonight.