Thorn
The next morning when I woke up, I could almost believe that nothing had happened the night before, except that Jess and I were both still naked there beneath the sheets. But she was over on the far side of the bed, her back to me, and we weren't touching. It was just a normal morning.
I winced a little, thinking back to the previous night. I couldn't say that I hadn't enjoyed it. I couldn't say that I didn't want to do it again, especially with my morning wood pressing firmly up against the sheets. But I also knew that what we'd done the previous night was only going to complicate things, if not now, then further down the line. And the last thing I needed now were any more complications. It was enough that there was all this drama with Jessica, with Dorian, with Emmanuel…
I disentangled myself from the sheets and grabbed my clothes, bringing them into the bathroom with me. As I stood there beneath the water, scrubbing viciously at my skin, I thought about the mission. I didn't like the idea of leaving Jess behind while I went to the prison, knowing as I did that she didn't support the mission, that she didn't think it was right for me to be delivering the packages for Katia. I was kind of worried that as soon as I let her out of my sight, she'd go to the authorities—and at this point, she knew every detail of the plan, really, and it would be easy enough for the police to catch me redhanded.
On the other hand, I couldn't very well take her with me. Not only would it seem strange for us both to be visiting Grace, but I also couldn't trust Jess not to alert the guards about the plan as soon as she could. She would never help deliver the packages; her moral compass was too strongly pointed in the other direction.
For a wild moment, I thought about contacting Dorian, seeing if there were any other Sigma Saints in the area who could come and watch over Jess while I delivered the packages. But that would mean one more person getting caught up in this mess, and anyway, it wasn't like Jess needed a babysitter. And I didn't want to admit that I couldn't do this on my own or that I couldn't fix the mess that I'd made.
There had to be some way to do it.
When I left the bathroom, Jess was sitting up on the edge of the bed, the sheet pulled around her bare skin. She looked over at me, biting her lower lip in a way that made me want to pull her up and kiss her some more. But that couldn't happen again.
“I'm going to leave you here while I deliver the package,” I told her gruffly. “But any sort of funny business ... well, I remind you, you're an accomplice in this. And although you may be able to strike some sort of deal with the authorities for turning yourself and the rest of us in, you're not going to come out scot-free. You would have to do jail time, and you would have a record. And when you got out, Katia's friends would be gunning for you.”
She looked pale and scared, and I almost felt sorry for her. But I pushed that feeling aside. “I know,” she said quietly, and I could tell that there was something more that she wanted to say, but she held back.
I nodded at her and grabbed my knapsack, shoving the first of the packages inside. “I'll be back in a little while,” I reminded her. “Don't leave the room.”
“Okay,” she agreed, pulling the sheet closer around herself. When I had my hand on the doorknob, she quietly said, “Thorn?”
“What?” I asked, not bothering to turn around.
“Be careful,” she said.
I stood there for a moment, trying to figure out what to say to that. Normally, some sort of flippant response would have been easy for me, but after last night, knowing that she genuinely wanted me to be careful, remembering that gut instinct telling me that she was, for some reason, looking out for my own wellbeing instead of just for herself? I couldn't just give her some sort of flippant response.
Finally, I nodded, but that was all the acknowledgement I could give her. I opened the door and left the room.
I got to the prison right when visiting hours were starting, not wanting to delay this any more than I had to. To my surprise, though, Gabi was standing outside when I arrived, smoking a cigarette. I could tell she was trying to appear nonchalant, but I could see tension in the way she held herself, and I knew she was scanning the parking lot looking for me. I rolled my eyes a little. What, had she thought that I wouldn't show up?
I strode confidently towards the doors, wondering if I should greet her as I walked past or if that would look too suspicious. In the end, I made up my mind to just walk straight by her. Better for everyone involved if it didn't look like we were involved in anything.
“Call it off,” Gabi muttered under her breath though as I started to walk past her.
I froze, staring at the doors, and fought the urge to turn towards her.
“They're about to do a sweep of the cells,” Gabi continued. “We'll have to wait until later in the week.”
I continued to pause and then shook my head, as though I'd decided I didn't want to see Grace after all. I turned and walked back to my bike, fighting the urge to sprint. They didn't have anything on me yet; Gabi had seen to that. But it reminded me again of what Jess had been saying, about all the ways that this could go wrong. I got back on my bike and rode back to the motel, trying to ignore a faint clamminess to my hands.
I wasn't about to chicken out, but maybe it was time I asked Dorian for a little more advice.