Minus

The NEXT MORNING, we headed to the Sanctuary, and the ride was shorter than I’d have liked. The weather was perfect, traffic was light, and as much as I hated to admit it, Cutter’s gift fit me like a glove. As brief as it was, the ride helped center me, to stop my mind from racing. As to what I was going to say to Cutter once we arrived, I had no idea. I wasn’t as angry for being jerked around as I was last night, but my confusion about the situation was growing.

The parking lot was populated with the rides of those still sleeping it off inside. Many of the Saints crew were getting up there in years, but still partied like they were young men. This meant longer hangovers and shorter lifespans for many of them. No doubt, last night’s battle of the livers had surely left its share of casualties on the field.

The property was littered with beer cans, food wrappers, and red plastic cups. For reasons unknown to me, the chapel had been made up with Christmas decorations, complete with a giant inflatable snowman and a plastic nativity set. The three wise men had been replaced with novelty inflatable sex dolls. They were all male models, with “realistic” chest hair, and each was wearing a Santa hat over his junk. The three of them lined up with their mouths open made them look as if they were actually saying, “Ho, Ho, Ho.”

“What the baby Jesus happened after we left?” Clutch asked.

“I’m not sure we really want to know.”

“Let’s go find Cutter,” Clutch said.

“If he’s not stuck in the fuckin’ chimney.”

The inside of the chapel looked as if a bomb had gone off during the taping of the “Burning Saints Holiday Special.” A very fresh-looking fir tree was propped up in the corner and decorated liberally with bras and panties. Grown ass men were passed out with Christmas ornaments hung in their beards. Tinsel was draped over every imaginable surface, and where there wasn’t tinsel, there were lights. Saints were strewn about the place, asleep on any chair, sofa, or available flat surface. “Christmas with the Devil” by Spinal Tap played on repeat in the background, but did little to drown out the sound of twenty or more men snoring.

“What the fuck is that smell?” Clutch held a hand over his nose and mouth, as a sickening odor wafted my way, instantly making me want to hurl. The search for the smell’s source led me to the kitchen, where I’d indeed found the scene of the crime.

The murder weapon; Eggnog.

To be more specific, this was some sort of biker eggnog. Cartons upon cartons of eggshells were stacked by the trash, next to empty milk and Bailey’s bottles. There was also at least a half-dozen bottles of Jägermeister next to a giant punchbowl, that held the remainder of this wicked holiday concoction.

“What the fuck?” Clutch asked in horror. “How much of this shit did they make?”

“How much of it did they drink?” I asked, as another wave of the foul odor hit us.

“Oh, shit. How much did they puke up? We gotta get the fuck outta here, Minus. Let’s find Cutter and split.”

As we made our way back to Cutter’s room, I prepared myself for the worst. I tapped gently on his door, and was surprised to hear him respond instantly.

“Come on in,” he answered brightly.

I entered to find Cutter fully alert and dressed for the streets. His beard was trimmed, his hair was slicked back, and although he was utilizing a silver-topped cane, he looked ten years younger than the man I’d seen last night.

“Minus, good morning. You okay? You look surprised.”

“To be honest, I expected you to be wearing a Santa suit, face down in a puddle of whatever the fuck I saw in the punchbowl.”

“Jägenogg. It’s one of Warthog’s holiday traditions.”

“It smells like a fucking chemical weapon,” I said. “No wonder you have cancer.”

Cutter laughed. “I don’t drink that shit! You think I’m crazy?”

“I guess that’s why you’re the last man standing today.”

“The boys took the news hard last night, God bless ’em, and they drank hard to soften the blow.”

“What’s with Santa’s workshop?”

Cutter smiled wide. “At some point last night, one of these kindhearted idiots realized that I might not make it to Christmas, so they brought Christmas to me, presents and all.”

“Hey, speaking of presents,” I began my protest. “About that Fat Boy—”

Cutter cut me off. “I was about to have Warthog drive me down to my favorite coffee place. Why don’t you come with me, so we can talk?” He turned to Clutch. “Do me a favor, will ya? Help get these guys up and outta here. Get some recruits to help you. Minus and I’ll be back in a while.”

Clutch shot me a “what the fuck” look, and I shrugged in response.

I followed Cutter out to the back lot, where Warthog was waiting by a white Town Car.

“Still got a thing for Lincolns, I see.”

“Minus, the 1996 Town Car is the greatest American sedan ever built. Why would I ever want any other automobile?”

“How can I argue with such sound logic?” I replied.

“You seem a little more agreeable this morning. That’s good, because we have a lot to talk about. Ride in the back with me.”

I did as Cutter asked, and Warthog headed for Front Road, towards the Pearl District.

“Minus, you’re a smart young man. You figured any of this out yet?” Cutter asked.

“Which part exactly are you talking about? There are so many fucking crazy things going on right now I can barely keep up. I’m still not even sure what happened last night, let alone why you’d want me to wear your patch.”

“I’m not asking you to wear my patch. In fact, that’s the absolute last thing I want.”

“Then, what’s all this bullshit talk about me running the club?”

“It’s true that I want you to be the next club’s president, but I want you to wear your patch and leave your mark. Look, I get that you’re pissed off about me sending you to Savannah, but I had my reasons and some of those reasons I’m ready to share with you, but first I need to know if you’re with me.”

“Cutter, how the fuck can I be with you when you don’t trust me?”

“You think I sent you away because I didn’t trust you?”

“You certainly didn’t trust me with Cricket!”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“The minute you found out that we were serious, I was done for.”

“Oh, shit! You think I sent you away because of Cricket?” He and Warthog burst into laughter. “I kept the two of you apart to keep the peace with the Dogs of Fire, which is very important to me, but do you think I actually care about who you’re fucking?”

“You told me to never speak her name again, and dangled me over the side a fucking bridge!” I exclaimed.

“All beneficial in getting you out of town for sure, but I would’ve thought that you’d have figured out by now that your exile had nothing to do with Cricket.”

“Then, why send me to Savannah at all?”

“The same reason I do anything; for the good of the club. For your good, too, as a matter of fuckin’ fact.”

“My good? How the fuck do you figure you were doin’ me any favors?” I snapped.

Cutter smiled. “That’s a nice little drawl you’ve got there for a city slicker. I bet everyone around here figures you picked it up in Savannah, but I suspect it’s from spending time with Duke.”

“What the fuck do you know about Duke?”

“Who do you think sent you to him? You know he had you pegged within five minutes of meeting you. Looks like he wasn’t wrong.”

“What are you talking about? Zaius sent me to Duke.”

“Oh, did he? Really?” Cutter raised an eyebrow.

“And, what do you mean he had me pegged? When the fuck did you talk to Duke about me?”

“Minus, as usual, what you don’t know could fill a fuckin’ dump truck.”

I hated to admit it, but Cutter had once again thrown me a curve ball that I was wholly unprepared for. As if I hadn’t already been confused enough, my two lives, the one here, and the one in Savannah had suddenly collided.

“You know why I gave you the name Minus when I patched you in?” Cutter’s eyes softened.

“You told me it was because I was dependable; that I was good at making problems go away.”

“That’s all true, but it’s horse shit. Has nothing to do with why I gave you that handle.”

“Then, why?” I asked.

“When I found you and Nicky on the streets you looked like a pair of drowned cats. The both of you were skin and bones and headed for the pound to be put down. Right away, I could tell you were both tough and loyal―and those are probably the most important qualities to possess―but in you I saw something even more valuable.”

“What’s that?”

“You’re teachable. I could tell that right away.”

“What about Clutch?”

“Clutch is the kind of man you go to in a pinch, thus his name, but his instinct is to fight his way out of trouble. That’s what’s gonna make him a great Sergeant at Arms. You’re smart. You use your mind. You read all those big thick books, and you actually understand them.”

“So why call me Minus?”

“Because you’re a fuckin’ moron! Within moments of realizing how smart you were, I thought to myself, ‘this guy is minus a few in the wisdom department.’ For a guy that’s ‘off the charts’ smart, you can be fuckin’ oblivious to what’s going on right in front of you. I told Zaius to send you to the old man. To see if you had in you, what I always thought you did.”

“What’s that?”

“Leadership potential. I see leader inside of you, Minus. I always have. But I also see a fool. You see, it’s not good enough to be smart. To lead, you also must be wise. You’ve always been loyal, brave, and a good earner, but sending you to Duke was the beginning of your education.”

About one month after I’d arrived in Georgia, Zaius, the Savannah chapter president, sent me to a horse ranch run by a man named Duke and his wife, Pearl. I lived and worked on that ranch for six months, in which I remained completely isolated from everyone and everything I’d ever known. It was the most difficult thing I’d ever done and it changed me. Duke was my mentor, and like Cutter, had become a father figure. Over the years, I’d grown even closer with him and Pearl, and worked the ranch whenever possible.

“Duke has never once mentioned that he knew you,” I said.

“That’s the way I wanted it. I knew if you knew it was my idea that you were at the ranch, you’d never listen to a word Duke said.”

He was right. I said nothing.

“Look, Minus, you and I were never gonna see eye-to-eye back then, and as much as I liked you and some of your ideas, you were a thorn in my side and a pain in my ass. You know how our business works. It’s all based on the balance of power and the display of strength. If we don’t show a united front, the Burning Saints will appear weak, and the moment we appear weak, we’re done for.”

The Saints were in the protection business. The largest portion of the club’s income was collected from businesses and private citizens who hired us for security purposes. Not all of these business and individuals were exactly on the up-and-up, and/or had security needs that extended the scope of the law, so they’d call us. We were the big scary guys that chased other big scary guys away, and if they couldn’t be chased, we were prepared to take things to the next level. As much as I loved my club, and would lay my life down for my brothers, I was never thrilled about the way we earned, and from the day I was patched in I started making my thoughts and feelings known. Being just a pup, this was not a smart move on my part, and Cutter yanked my leash relentlessly, so I was both surprised, and intrigued at what he’d just said.

“What do you mean, you liked some of my ideas? All you did was shoot me down back then.”

“Times have changed,” Cutter said. “Look, you were right when you’d spout off about our way of doing things coming to an end, but how the fuck did you expect me to respond? C’mon man. You can’t yell meteor to a bunch of dinosaurs and expect much of a reaction.”

“I understand that now,” I said.

“I bet you do. In fact, I’m betting everything on it,” he replied. “I sent you to Savannah to become your own man, and I sent you to Duke because I knew he’d be able to teach you all the shit you couldn’t learn from me. You’ve got a good heart, Minus, and I know you’ve always cared about this club.”

“You and the Saints saved my life and I never forgot that, even when I hated you.”

“Boy, I figured you’d be pissed when I sent you away, but if I’d known that a girl was involved...” He let out a low slow whistle. “Now I get why you came in white-hot last night. I’m sorry, Minus. I honestly didn’t know she meant that much to you back then.”

“Yeah, well, none of that matters now. She hates my guts and I’ve got a new scar to remind me. Plus, her dickhead Fire Dog brother is probably gonna show up wanting to start shit with me.”

“Well, I hope not, because I was kind of counting on you being able to work with him on some things,” Cutter said.

“What? You want to me work with Hatch?”

“No, I want you to work with all the Dogs of Fire. More specifically, you and my niece. She’s the key to this whole thing working.”

“What’s your deal with Cricket? What exactly are you envisioning here? For us to rule the land together as young king and queen? Which brings up my next point; I’m only twenty-nine years old. All you do is tell me how much I don’t know and point out my lack of wisdom. Why choose my young, dumb ass?”

“The truth is, I wasn’t much older or smarter than you when I started this club, so I have the utmost faith in my choice. In fact, your age and differing views are very strong reasons as to why I want you to wear the President’s patch.”

“So how does Cricket factor into all of this?”

“Not only am I hoping she can be the bridge to the Dogs of Fire, she’s also a marketing and branding whiz. I’ve been keeping track of her career this entire time. She’s lousy with achievements and accolades and has been doing great work at Mann Industries.”

“And you want her to help you run a motorcycle club full of criminals and leg breakers?”

“No. I want you to work with her to help the Burning Saints grow and change into something new.”

“You want to re-brand a one-percenter motorcycle club.”

“By Jove, Warthog, I believe he’s got it,” he sang out.

* * *

Cricket

I told myself over and over that what I was doing wasn’t stalking. I reminded myself that I had legitimate reasons to call Minus. I reasoned with myself that it wasn’t at all creepy or wrong that I’d asked Dani, one of the sweetest women on the planet, to convince her hacker husband to commit a federal crime and keep it secret from my brother, one of his closest friends.

“This is Minus.”

His voice sent a shock to my center that left me momentarily speechless.

“Hello? Who is this?”

“Uh... hi, it’s... it’s me... uh, Cricket... Cricket Wallace.”

“As opposed to all the other Crickets I know?” he retorted.

My face burned with embarrassment and I was glad he couldn’t see me right now, as I’m sure my cheeks were bright red.

“How did you get this number?” he asked.

Ohmigod, what could I say? I couldn’t possibly tell him the truth, and yet that’s exactly what I did. “A hacker,” I razzed.

“You know a hacker? Holy shit.” He laughed, and my stomach dropped again.

I thought he’d be angry, but instead he actually seemed to enjoy this bit of information.

“Yes, I know a hacker,” I replied, defensively. “For your information, he’s really good at... hacking.”

“Wow, you must really want to talk. You know, there were probably easier ways to get my number than violating F.C.C. laws... like through your uncle Cutter.”

I felt like an idiot. I had to pull myself together. I could not let Minus get the upper hand. I was calling with questions and I wanted answers.

“Yes, I’m aware of that, but I’m not speaking to my uncle. In fact, I’m not really speaking to you, for that matter. I’m not calling for social reasons, but because I want some answers. No, I deserve answers, and I’m not hanging up until I get them.

“Answers, huh?”

“Yes. I want to know exactly why you left, where you’ve been, and I don’t want to hear anything about the secrecy of club business or not understanding your world.” I squared my shoulders, even though he couldn’t see me. “I won’t stand for any bullshit answers.”

“Okay,” he replied.

“Okay? What do you mean, okay?”

“I mean, okay. I’ll tell you everything, but not over the phone. I’ll text you with an address. Be there tomorrow morning at nine o’ clock, and we can talk face-to-face.”

“I have a job, Jase. I can’t just blow it off to meet you at nine o’clock.”

He chuckled. “I’m gonna be tied up all day tomorrow, so you wanna meet me tonight? Cutter booked me a suite at a really nice hotel.”

“A night in your hotel room isn’t exactly what I had in mind.”

I shuddered. The thought of spending the night with him did funny things to my girly bits.

“But you’re thinkin’ about it now, aren’t you?” he whispered.

“Stop it.”

“C’mon, you used to love it when I’d talked dirty to you and make you blush. I bet your cheeks are already rosy.”

More like fire engine red.

“Jase, stop it. I mean it.”

“Alright, alright. Look,” he said, then sighed. “I was actually going to call you a little later. I wanted to apologize for what I said last night, but I wanted to give you some time to cool off first. I’m glad I’ll have the chance to look you in the eyes when I tell you how sorry I am.”

Oh jeez, I’m gonna need new panties.

“Okay.”

“How about you swing by my hotel after work? Apparently, the restaurant inside is nice. We can eat and talk... in public, if it makes you feel better. Whatever you want,” he said.

“I can’t tonight.”

“Tomorrow,” he said. “I’ll text you the address... unless, of course, you had your hacker find out where I’m staying.”

“No. I didn’t,” I said.

“I just sent it to you, so it’s on your phone now. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“See you tomorrow, then,” was all I could manage to squeak out, then hung up.