Stephanie

 

I sulked about the result of the meeting all day. After the girls voted to call the cops on the weapons dealer for Jungle’s Thorns, I felt my will begin to leave my body. It was like we were being sabotaged from the inside out, and I no longer knew how to act. I couldn’t believe Val, of all people. Val, who was supposed to support my decisions and be smart about what was good for the club.

 

Val hadn’t exactly apologized for her little rousing outburst. After the meeting, I strode outside and lit a cigarette, letting it dangle from my lip as I stared moodily at the black asphalt. It was streaked with grime, grease, and oil, and I watched as the fading light of day made the oil sheen look like a rainbow. It smelled harsh, but I welcomed that smell: it was the smell of comfort, the smell of familiarity. It was the smell of home.

 

“Hey,” Val’s voice punctured my silence. “What’re you doing?”

 

I scowled. “What the fuck does it look like I’m doing?” I twisted my neck to the side and glared up at her. “Seriously, Val, you threw me to the fucking wolves in there!”

 

Val shook her head and puffed her cheeks out. “Girl, like I’d do that to my oldest friend,” she said as she wrapped her arm around me and pulled me close. “You know I just gotta look out for the girls, you know what that feels like.”

 

I pushed her arm away from me and stood up, throwing my cigarette to the ground and crushing it under my toe. “You don’t understand,” I said softly. “You really don’t get it, do you?”

 

Val looked at me with a pained expression on her wide face. “We’ll always be best friends,” she said. “I mean, you can trust me, can’t you?”

 

I shook my head. “I don’t feel like I can trust you right now,” I told her truthfully. “I can barely stand to be around you; you go against everything I say and make me look like a bad leader.”

 

Val frowned again. “You ain’t getting it. I’m doing this for the club, I’m doing this to help you be a good president. I’m doing this for the girls, for Jessica,” she added.

 

Exasperation filled my lungs and I had to take a deep breath. “It doesn’t fucking work like that,” I snapped. “Either you stand with me or you make me look like an asshole in front of everyone, what about that don’t you understand?”

 

“Jessica was raped,” Val said. She crossed her arms over her chest and looked at me with sass. “Why don’t you want to help her?”

 

“Because if we go to the police, they’re not going to help at all!” The volume of my voice was rising and I could barely keep my anger contained. “They’re going to fucking ruin us, Val! They’re going to tear this club apart before we even know what’s happening!”

 

Val looked at me. “You really don’t care, do you?”

 

“Of course I care!” I roared. “I was the one who wanted Jessica in this club! I was the one who persuaded you!” All of a sudden, I knew that I had to get away. I had to get out. If I stayed around for any longer, I was going to start feeling like I’d begun taking crazy pills. This was more than I could handle and I didn’t want to let Val influence me anymore. I didn’t even know why I was fighting anymore—it felt like a betrayal of the utmost kind.

 

Val blew out a sharp breath. “Fuck you,” she said quietly. "You ain't a good president, Stephanie." With that, she turned on her heel and strode back inside the clubhouse.

 

Anger filled my body and before I knew what I was doing, I ran after her and put my hand on her shoulder. Val turned around and looked into my eyes—her dark eyes looked like pools of black—and I saw her flared nostrils, registered how angry she was. I made my hand into a fist and swung back before making contact with her broad nose and punching her hard. Val cried out and blood spurted from her nose. She staggered backward but didn't fall, her feet tangled and stumbled and eventually, she regained her balance. She put a hand up to her face and held her nose, glaring at me with her dark brown eyes.

 

“Fuckin’ bitch,” Val spat, making a little puddle of blood on the ground. “You can’t just beat everyone you disagree with.”

 

For some reason, that comment sent me into even more of a rage. I screamed and flew at Val with my hands out in front of me like ragged claws. We scrapped and scuffled—I felt Val's hands lock around my shoulders and try to push me back as I lowered my head and charged into her stomach. Val's body was a muscular mass and she barely let out a cry as I knocked her back onto her ass. As she groaned with pain, I socked her again in the face, harder this time, and felt my hand connect with tooth, bone, and soft tissue. Val's blows on my neck and shoulders were like tiny little punches that I barely felt. Finally, she clipped me hard on the jaw and I felt myself spinning backward, reeling with the force of her punch. As we continued to struggle, I could feel my nose bleeding and one of my bottom teeth was knocked loose. Val groaned and twisted underneath of me, trying to get her mouth close to my arm. She sank her teeth into my flesh and I let out a wild howl—like an animal caught in a trap. Fiercely, I twisted free and smacked her hard on the cheek until I felt the air burst out of her body.

 

Suddenly, a pair of foreign hands was on my shoulder, pulling me away. I tried to resist but they were stronger than I anticipated and before I knew it, Val and I were being dragged apart. I looked up to see Alexa and Tara standing above us.

 

“Don’t beat each other up,” Alexa said in a solemn voice. “That isn’t how we handle things here.”

 

“We also don’t question our leader’s judgment,” I snarled, blood dripping from my mouth. The brief fight had incited a strong desire for more violence inside of me, and I hopped from one foot to the other, ready to rush Val as soon as Alexa released my shoulders. My body was aching but my adrenaline was spiking through the roof. Let me at her, my body seemed to be saying. I’ll make sure we don’t have another problem!

 

“This dumb cunt thinks she can hit me and that I’ll shut up. What do you think about that, Tara?” Val said with a smirk.

 

I wanted to wipe it off her face. Suddenly, I hated her, I hated her more than I hated anyone else on earth.

 

Tara was the MC’s sergeant at arms. She always listened to me, even when she knew I was wrong, and I appreciated that. Glancing between me and Val, she settled her gaze on my face. “Val, you need to back off,” she said in a low voice. “Steph is our leader, and even if we disagree with her, we don’t disrespect her like that.”

 

Val looked so angry that I wouldn’t have been surprised if actual venom left her lips. “That’s rich, Tara,” she snapped, wiping her mouth and nose. Her brown arm came away streaked with blood and tissue. “So much for you! You used to be loyal!”

 

“Not to you,” Tara replied. “To the club, that’s where my duties are. Like Stephanie, I always want what’s best for all of us, not just you. You’re too proud, Val. You need to remember your place.”

 

My injured chest swelled with pride at Tara’s words. I couldn’t tell how she felt personally, but it meant the world to have one of my girls stick up for me like this. It was like someone was finally coming to her senses. Maybe we wouldn’t have to call the cops after all. Maybe everything would be okay, maybe everything would work out.

 

“Fuck no,” Val said. She swaggered over to me and stuck her hand out for a shake. “This is over, even if we disagree.” She sucked her teeth and looked at me with a prideful expression on her face. “We gotta agree to disagree, boss.”

 

I swallowed hard. It wasn’t the apology that I’d been hoping for, but I got the impression that it would have to do. “Fine,” I said softly. “Fine, it’s over.”

 

And we shook on it.