I sat in the guest bedroom above Hedley’s cafe, his ancient headphones wrapped around my ears. A long cable connected to them to his even more ancient stereo system. The record I’d chosen was Beethoven. I had my eyes closed and was letting the music wash over me, drowning out everything else. For a brief time, I was in a concert hall. There was just me and the orchestra and the maestro himself conducting.

The peace I felt couldn’t last but for that brief period, I was calm. It felt better than being on edge. They were over there at that very moment, cameras, crew, caterers, probably more than a few hangers on.

And her.

Tilly was over there with them.

Or so I thought.

When the music finished, I opened my eyes and blinked in the light. I couldn’t hide up here forever.

I headed down the stairs and pushed opened the door into the cafe. The place was empty. Through the window I could see the boats all tied up in the bay. Hedley was cooking, the smell of sausages frying hitting my nostrils, making me realise how long it had been since I’d eaten anything.

“I’ve good news,” he said as I made myself a coffee.

“Let me guess, the place has burnt down and I’m due in court on charges of arson?”

He frowned at me for a moment. “Not quite. They’ve shut down the film.”

“They’ve what?” I almost dropped my mug in shock. “You don’t mean they actually listened to me?”

“I’ve no idea but they all went, loaded up into taxis and trucks and taking all their kit with them.”

“Then I guess they did listen. When did all this happen?”

“A couple of hours ago. Did you not hear them out there?”

“I had the Ninth in my ears, there might have been a bomb going off and I wouldn’t have heard it.”

“I’m guessing you’ll be heading back then.”

“I’m guessing I will.”

I didn’t ask about Tilly. I didn’t want him to think I cared. She’d have gone with them anyway. Good. I had no desire to talk to her, not after finding out the truth.

But that didn’t mean I didn’t feel anything. I felt the most excruciating sense of loss as I sailed Nipper back across the loch. It was agonising, trying to adjust my feelings to the reality of who she was.

It didn’t add up. Something inside me felt jarred, like a train trying to run when it was half off the tracks, just grinding along and making no progress. I was acting like it was all fine but it wasn’t.

She had used me. But then wasn’t that what I’d done with her? I’d only planned for one night together. I didn’t really have much right expecting any more than that.

The dungeon though. What had happened in there had been as intense as the first time we’d been together, a bond I’d never felt with another human being.

That was why it hurt so much. It was all a lie. All that time she had someone else in her life.

I vowed to put her out of my mind. As I tied Nipper up in the boat shed and walked out onto the grass I thought about Eli instead. Had he actually listened to me? Shut things down because I said so? Was he the type of person to change his mind?

He hadn’t seemed in any way inclined, even getting his lawyer to show me how badly my hands were tied.

But what other reason could there be? The place was empty.

I walked inside, heading for the study. I sank into my chair. Someone had moved the picture from next to the computer. I picked it up. There was the young me, the child who had no idea he would one day inherit this place, had no idea what a responsibility that was.

The money.

A sinking feeling hit me, adding to the pain I already felt. If they’d shut things down, would I still get paid?

I rummaged for the contract in the desk drawer, not feeling optimistic.

There is was in black and white. If production shut down, there was no compensation due to me. I could only hope they weren’t going to sue. Actually, they might as well. I had no money to hand over. All they’d do was bankrupt me and if that was the worst that could happen, I’d take it.

Over the next few days I found myself thinking until my head hurt. I had been happy in the monastery, at peace in the world and with who I was and what I was. I was a loner, I wasn’t meant to be with anyone. When I was, either they got hurt or I did.

Then I had to stick my head back up into the world and look what happened.

She walked into my life out of nowhere. I couldn’t resist her. That first kiss, indelibly imprinted in my mind never to fade. The feel of her naked body against mine, the touch of her hands, the look in her eyes when she came. One night, that was all it was supposed to be but I’d become hooked.

I was bound to get hurt. She disappeared for a year and then came back acting as if nothing had happened between us. I had wanted to ask about her going but I never got chance. First we were running to hide from her hideous producer boss. Then we were in the dungeon together and we had no need for words, our bodies talked instead.

I had thought things had changed for the better but the universe was just mocking me for even thinking that were possible. She had a boyfriend. She had lied to me.

I vowed not to let it ever happen again. I’d opened myself up, thinking the world had changed. It hadn’t. Well, I’d learned my lesson. I wouldn’t ever get hurt like that again.

I made a plan. It was a few days after they’d gone. I’d had an email from Gold Standard’s lawyers confirming payment would not be made. At least they weren’t chasing me for compensation for the movie shutting down. Maybe it had happened for another reason, nothing to do with me at all. It was possible, wasn’t it?

My plan began with a call to William Dacre. It was time to put the castle back on the market. There was no way of raising the money to pay off the debts without the check. I had no choice but to sell.

The phone rang that night but it wasn’t Dacre. It was Angela.

“I hear you’re selling up after all,” she said by way of a greeting.

“News travels fast,” I replied, gripping the phone so tightly it creaked in my fist.

“I’ll buy the place for three hundred thousand.”

“Is that how much you stole from this family?”

“Don’t play games, Robert. Dacre told me you want a quick sale so you can get back to playing at monks and nuns. Do you want it sold or not?”

“Fine,” I said, no longer caring. “You win.”

“I’ll be in Doon tomorrow at noon. How about we meet at Hedley’s to sign the paperwork?”

“You’ve got it all worked out then?”

“I’ve been planning this for a while, yes. Does it matter?”

“I guess not.”

I hung up. It was time to say goodbye to the place.

I went from room to room. It would be the last time I did. The attic where I’d hidden to avoid getting my shots when the doctor came to visit. The bathroom where I’d shivered in the winter and boiled in the summer. The kitchen where I ate my first solid food, not that I could remember that. Every space held a memory and they were all precious.

I could have said no to Angela but I didn’t want to stay here any longer. Staying here meant thinking about Tilly, about being betrayed by her. If I left, I’d be better able to shut down my feelings and return to the quiet life in seclusion. It would be just like it was before, the castle would no longer be a part of my life. The only difference would be this time it would be for good, no turning back.

The next morning, Dacre rang me just as I was getting ready to leave. “I’ve got some good news,” he said.

“If it’s about the buyer, I know.”

“But they’ve only just rung me.”

“Who has?”

“I’ve no idea. They want to stay anonymous. All I know is they’ll pay the full asking price as long as it’s all done through their lawyer.”

“They’ll pay five hundred thousand?”

“Five fifty if you say yes today.”

“Are they genuine?”

“I’ve seen proof of funds if that’s what you’re worried about. Why aren’t you snapping this up?”

I thought for a moment. Three hundred thousand from Angela, spending the money she’d cheated out of the place. Or five fifty from the mystery buyer who might be anyone. Better the devil you know or…?

“I accept,” I said down the phone.

Angela was waiting for me at Hedley’s cafe, papers laid out on the table in front of her. “Ready to sign?” she asked as I took the seat opposite her.

“I already have,” I said. “At Dacre’s office.”

“What?” she snapped. “What are you talking about?”

“Someone made me a better offer.”

“Rubbish. You’re bluffing, you just want more out of me.”

I slid the letter across the table. “See for yourself.”

She unfolded it, disbelief turning into disgust as she read the contents. “Who did this?” she asked.

“I’ve no idea. They want to remain anonymous.”

She got to her feet, scooping up the papers. “You think you’ve won, sitting there with that smile on your face but you’ve won nothing. You still don’t get to keep the place. You’ll be famous for being the last of the King family to live there.”

“If it means you don’t live there either, I’m happy with that.”

She stormed out without another word, the noise of her car engine revving a second later.

Hedley emerged from the kitchen, sliding a mug of tea across the table to me. “So you’ve sold it,” he said. “And I had a tenner saying you’d stay now you were back.”

“I’m sorry you lost your money,” I replied. “God, will you ever make a decent tea?”

“You’re welcome to take your business elsewhere if you don’t like the service.”

“I’ll be taking it to Italy pretty soon.”

He scratched his arm leisurely, looking out at the loch through the window. “You’re really going then?”

“I guess so.”

“I’m sorry it came to this, Robert, I really am.”

“So am I,” I said, thinking of the abbot's words once more. “But I’ve done what had to be done.”