Julie

I knew I wasn’t going to be able to avoid Giovanni forever, so when he came back to Taylor’s room for me, I went with him. He looked like he’d aged a few years since I’d last seen him and extremely tired. When we got in the car, I was surprised it was just the two of us. When I asked him about Dante and Angelou he just briefly shook his head and said he needed to be alone with me. I felt the same but alone meant privacy. Privacy meant talking. I really didn’t want to talk.

He held my hand all the way from the car and to his place. He didn’t release me when we got inside and pulled me down the hall to his bedroom. He sat on the bed and pulled me down onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around me and just held me as he sat silently. I ran my fingers through his hair as I let him take what he needed from me.

Eventually the last few days caught up with me, and I was itching to get out of these clothes. Get that place off of my body, clean my hands from all that I’d done. “Gio, I need to wash,” I told him softly.

He looked up at me with tired eyes. “I’ll come with you.”

He followed me into the bathroom and turned the shower on. Wordlessly, we both undressed as the room began to fill with steam. He waited for me to pull off my last piece, before opening the shower door and followed me inside. He reached for the shampoo, and poured a generous amount into his hands. “turn around.” He murmured and I obeyed.

With strong, sure fingers, he began to wash my hair. He took his time and made sure he did a thorough job. When that was done, he used the shower head to rinse my hair and repeated the process with conditioner. When I reached for my loofa, he shook his head and grabbed. Once again, he picked up the soap and began to wash my entire body from head to toe. He went as far as making sure that I was clean between each toe and finger. When he was done, he gestured for me to wash off, and began to quickly wash himself over.

When we were both clean, we dried off and made our way to the bed. He cut the lights, and we both got in naked. That was perfect, I needed to feel his skin on mine. I needed to breathe him in. I needed to be in his arms. God, I just needed him. And here he was.

I immediately sought him out under the covers, and he didn’t disappoint. He immediately wrapped his arms around me pulling in close to him. It was close enough for me though, so I crawled on top of him so that every part of my body touched him. I squirmed for a bit trying to get on him and so that we’ll both be comfortable.

“Shh…” Gio whispered and reached down to help me get on him.

I pushed my nose deep into the crook of his neck and took a deep breath. I missed how he smelled. “I missed you,” I whispered into Gio’s skin.

He began running his hand up and down my back. “I know baby, I missed you too.” Then I felt his lips press against my forehead, and the world felt right again. I sighed and gave him a kiss of my own to his chin. His arms tightened a fraction, and just like that, I went to sleep. Safely back into the arms of the man that I loved.

 

*****

Giovanni

After hearing my sister retell what happened, all I could do was hold my girl. I was horrified, and I hadn’t even been there. Not to mention, that was only since Sof had been there. Lord knows what happened before that, I didn’t think I could handle anymore yesterday. I felt like I was got hit for each word that tumbled from her lips. I knew I needed to talk to Julie, but I don’t think either of us was in a place to handle anything more last night.

I held her all fucking night, and I slept maybe all of thirty minutes. I had to stay and watch her, hold her. I needed to be sure she was here, and nobody got to her. It seemed irrational knowing those fucks were dead, but there was a part of me that couldn’t give a flying fuck.

She slept like a baby, clutching onto me the entire night. It only made me think about how much she needed me the past few days. She felt I would protect her, and I failed her. Never again.

She finally began to stir awake, and I looked down into her face waiting for her pretty blue eyes to meet mine. Finally, her eyes blinked open and she gave me a sleepy smile. “Morning.” I murmured.

“Good morning.” She stretched, and her stomach growled.

“You hungry?” I asked.

She nodded. Fuck had they not been feeding her either? I felt rage beginning to take over. I placed her on the bed and got up. I threw on a pair of sweatpants and made my way to the door. “I’m going to go get breakfast started,” I told her.

She nodded, yawned, and stretched. I felt like a mother hen because I didn’t even want to leave her to go to the kitchen. It was that fucking bad. Just as I was getting the food on, she emerged wearing one of my t-shirts. She came up behind me and wrapped her arms around me.

“What are you making?” she asked casually.

I turned my head to look at her and frowned. She seemed so normal, almost as if nothing ever happened. Her reaction wasn’t normal, and I was concerned. “waffles, and bacon.” I informed her.

She smiled. “Can we have strawberries too?” she asked with big eyes.

I nodded. “Sure.”

She took a seat at the table and flipped through a magazine as I finished the food. I plated it and took a seat across from her. She immediately dug in and groaned out loud. “Did you eat the past few days?” I asked.

She nodded. “Yes. It wasn’t good food, but it was something.” She answered with a shrug.

I kept pushing. “How are you feeling?”

She frowned in thought. “I’m ok I guess. I’m just happy to be back.”

That was something. “Did they hurt you?” I asked and held my breath.

She sucked in her bottom lip. “Not really no. They knocked me around a bit when I wouldn’t shut my mouth, but they didn’t hurt me.” I understood the unspoken message. The most she’d gotten was an ass-kicking. I hated that even that happened, but I was grateful that it wasn’t anything worse.

She began nibbling on a piece of bacon and frowned. I watched her over my own forkful. She stopped chewing, froze, and popped up from her seat and took off. I immediately chased behind her and was just running into the bathroom when she dropped to her knees and began throwing up into the toilet.

I cringed, not entirely comfortable in this situation, but I wasn’t about to leave her. Unsure of what to do, I stood and patted her head awkwardly. When she finally finished dry heaving, she let out a chuckle. “I’m not a dog you know.”

I shrugged. “I didn’t know what else to do to make it better,” I admitted.

Another small laugh. “For future reference, I think I can manage a trip like this alone.”

I frowned. “Why?”

She looked up at me with a look that clearly said ‘are you dense?’ “No woman actually wants the man that they’re with to see them in one of the most unflattering positions. Puking my guts out in front of you is not exactly on my top ten favorites list.”

I rolled my eyes. “You can be such a girl sometimes.”

Her eyebrows shot up, and she pointed to herself. “Hello, girl sitting right here.”

“Come on baby, I have some stuff to do today. Do you think you can tell me where they held you so I can go back and get the place cleaned up?” I asked.

She frowned. “What…?”

“I already know. Sofia told us.” I knew that’s what she was wondering. She looked at me warily and began wringing her fingers together. I didn’t forget she needed to do some explaining, but this seemed a bit more important. “Your prints are probably all over the place. I would like to get the place cleaned before someone else stumbles upon it.” I arched an eyebrow at her.

She sighed. “I think I can give you the area.”

I nodded. “Baby, you ok to hang at my parents with the girls while I handle shit today?” I asked.

She nodded again. “Of course. I'm sure your mother is cooking… or has leftovers in the fridge.”

I shook my head. “I'm starting to feel like you’re using me and my mother for her food.”

She batted her lashes. “I adore your mother. Her cooking is just a plus.”

I shook my head again. “Ok smart ass, let’s get out of here.”

Breakfast has seemed to be forgotten so as she got in the shower I went to clean up. I wanted to join her, and fuck did I want her last night, but I wasn’t a fucking animal. I know she was threatened with rape, so I’d wait for her to make a move and let me know she’s ready. She seems to be taking this all in stride which was odd… and I didn’t know if it was genuine or not. I cant keep putting off talking to her, so I made my decision.

Tonight.

We were going to finally talk, tonight.

We made our way over to my parents, and my mom practically dragged Julie away from me. Taylor was still there recuperating, and I couldn’t help but wonder what the fuck was up with their mom. Both of her daughters have been gone for days without a peep, and she doesn’t seem to be concerned. I had a guy on their place since we found out, in case someone went back. From the reports, their mother was just going on about her days as if there wasn’t anything wrong. The bitch was fucked. Had that been one of us, my mom would’ve had the fucking national guard out looking for us. For the sake of sparing my mother a heart attack, we told her Sof had snuck out to hang with friends. That’s where she was. If she knew the truth, lord knows what would’ve happened.

I watched as Julie and my ma walked off arm in arm and had an afterthought. “Ma?” I called out.

She turned to look at me with an annoyed expression. “What? I thought I got her for today.” My mother pouted.

I rolled my eyes. “I just wanted to ask you to watch her for me. She got sick this morning, and she’s being all girly about throw-up.” I told my mom.

She cringed. “Throw-up? Really, Marco? Did I not teach you better vocabulary?” my mom asked and then looked to Julie for a beat before returning her attention to me with a bright smile. “But don’t worry about it. I’ll have a look at her and see what kind of bug she’s got. She’ll be good as new when you get back.” She promised.

I nodded my thanks and found the guys. “She gave me a location – you got people for cleanup?” I asked Dante.

He nodded. “Yea, let’s roll.”

With that, we left.  We had Jetti meet us there to see if he knew any of the fucks and to probably get some blood samples to find out who these assholes were.

Julie had given me some good directions and a damn good description of the place. We were able to find it immediately. It was an abandoned warehouse in the slums. This was the piece of land that we left for the scum to make a buck. We didn’t really want to deal with these types, so we left them to their own devices. Too dirty for me. Not enough loyalty. Too fucking greedy.

Angelou and Dante were the first to enter. I was right behind them, but I heard their reactions before I could see anything.

“Holy shit.”

“Fuck.”

My palms began to sweat because whatever it was they were seeing it was what my girl and my sister lived. I was only two steps into the room when I almost tripped over a body. I looked down, and there was a fucker sprawled out by my feet with a bullet hole right between the eyes. This must’ve been what caused their reaction.

 As I entered further into the room, the dead body count rose. When Sofia told me of what happened, I assumed that she exaggerated. It was too much action happening, and she was frazzled. As it turns out… she wasn’t. I had to stop looking around the room. The place practically screamed havoc. To know my girl fucked shit up like this… alone… against a room full of armed men was a fucking lot concerning. The precision of the shots was also something that I took note of. Staring at this room, I’d think that she was a fucking killing machine. That she did this shit on a regular.

Looking around at what Julie had been forced to do and for Sofia to witness made me sick. I stood off to the side as the guys took inventory and we waited for the rest to arrive. Jetti was the first to arrive.  I heard his low whistle as he took in the scene.

“Some work you did here, boss.” He commented.

Dante let out a humorless chuckle. “That’s not our work.”

I looked over to Jetti in time to see him raise his eyebrow in question. “Then why the fuck are we here?” he asked confused.

I sighed. “My girl.”

Even more confusion. “What about her?” he asked. “I thought her and your sister were taken.”

I nodded and gestured to the room. “And this is how they got free. Last night was a clusterfuck, and I was too damn preoccupied to reach you.”

His eyes practically bugged out of his head as he took in the room. “The fuck?” he looked down to the closest body. “is she a fucking assassin? ‘Cause I got to say her shot is spot on.”

Didn’t I fucking know it? “I noticed,” I commented dryly.

He nodded. “What do you need?” he asked.

“To know just who the fuck these assholes were,” I told him.

I didn’t have to say anything else. He nodded. “On it.”

It wasn’t long before Jetti got everything he needed and was on his way to get us some information. The cleanup crew arrived, and we were there for a while as they did their thing. By the time we left, I was fucking exhausted, but I knew my night had just begun. Julie had a hell of a lot explaining to do, and I already knew whatever the fuck she had to say was going to stress me out even further.

I went back to pick up Julie, and once again we left alone. I was caught up in my thoughts thinking about everything that transpired the past few days when it occurred to me when we were halfway home that she was also uncharacteristically quiet. I let her remain lost in her own thoughts as well. When we got to my place, we both immediately went to the bedroom and changed into sleep clothes. That was pretty unusual for the both of us, but I guess we both had the sentiment that we weren’t going to be having sex tonight. I waited until she crawled up into the bed, against the headboard before I joined her.

I waited for a beat and then met her eyes. “We need to talk.” I began.

She sighed long and hard but nodded. “I know.” She said softly.

“I don’t need you to rehash last night. I got a version of it, and I saw… I don’t need to relive it again, and I don’t think you do either.” I swallowed and stared her down. “But there’s obviously something that you need to tell me.”

She put her head down. “Yes. There is something I should tell you.” She slowly lifted her head and looked at me with pleading eyes. “But please hear me out all the way, and just…” she swallowed hard. “Please promise not to judge me.”

Shit. Now I was fucking nervous, nothing good could ever begin with that type of introduction. “alright.”

She nodded and began wringing her damn hands again. “There’s something wrong with me.” She blurted out.

I frowned. “What?”

She shrugged. “Some type of disorder. Honestly, I’m not 100% sure. I got tired of the doctor's appointments and the speculations. I refused to take any medication…” she shrugged. “So I never got a definitive answer.”

I frowned. “I'm not following. What kind of disorder?” I asked.

She bit her lip for a minute before speaking again. “I had my first episode when I was really young. My parents took me to the doctor, and they couldn’t properly diagnose me because of the multiple things it could be. It happened a few more times and doctor’s guessed numerous things, but the one that seemed most appropriate was IED.” She explained.

I shook my head. “I don’t know what that is.”

“It’s intermittent explosive disorder. You can look it up, but it basically means that I have an anger issue. I can take a situation and get overexcited. By overexcited, it means excessively or irrationally angry that causes me to be violent. In my case, my violence is… over the top.”

Ok, so she got angry. That much I knew, the violence not so much. I thought she was a hot head from some of her episodes, but they were nothing like what she’d done in that warehouse. “Ok baby, you want to elaborate?”

She groaned. “I can feel it. It’s weird. When I’m getting to that point where my anger is getting out of control, its like I begin to blackout. But when it happens, it’s not an actual blackout. I’m fully aware of what’s happening, and it’s not like I forget or anything but it’s like another person takes over. A complete loss of control. This is why I said it was hard to diagnose because some doctors thought I might be bipolar but it just didn’t really fit. Then there was the manic episode diagnoses.” She took a deep breath. “when I start to see the black drifting around the edges, I learned how to pull myself back.” She shook her head. “I fight it. God, I feel like I’m constantly fighting it, but I figured out how when I didn’t want to go back to the hospitals. I found things to do with myself to help me dole out the anger without actually attacking or hurting a person. Fighting and boxing classes, shooting lessons and the ranges. Wherever I could get out some aggression.” She cringed. “So… yesterday…”

She looked at me and waited for me to give her an out, but I didn’t. She needed to talk. “Fine. So yesterday, I couldn’t stop it. I started to get antsy the first time I spoke to you, and I couldn’t make it go away. Then I found out Taylor was dead – or I thought she was – and then they bought in Sofia. I knew for sure they were going to kill us. And I knew you were going to try to trade yourself for us and then they’d just kill us all. It was too much, and I was so angry.” She cursed under her breath. “I was so fucking mad.” She shook her head. “I couldn’t stop it, but I wouldn’t if I was able because I had to save Sof. I had to get revenge for you and my sister. I just… lost it.” She looked down at her fingers. “I feel bad because I did that.” She met my eyes. “But I’m not sorry. I’ll never be sorry for that.” She looked away. “I just don’t believe I killed people.” She finally whispered.

Fuck. “Julie.” She looked up to me with tears swimming in her eyes.

“I know I’m fucked up and I should’ve told you… but I didn’t want you to look at me like I’m… I don’t know handicap. I didn’t want you to leave me because of this.” She said pleadingly.

My poor girl. “Julie – “ I began but was cut off.

“I’m afraid of the dark, Gio.” She said her bottom lip quivering. “There’s something about when I go into that space that scares me. I don’t like feeling like I’m not me. Like I’m an outsider watching as my body and mind does things I don’t normally agree with.” She confessed as the first tear fell.

Shit. My girl.

“Julie – “ again cut off.

She got on her knees as she continued to cry and looked at me with pained eyes. “Please don’t…” she choked out. “I love you.” She whispered.

I sighed and reached out for her, grabbing onto her wrists. I tugged on them urging her to come closer. When she was close enough for me to grab her I did just that and pulled her onto my lap. She immediately threw her arms around my neck. She leaned into me and began sobbing. “I won't hurt anyone… ag… again.” She said between sniffles. She wiped her nose on my shirt and continued crying. “Please don’t leave me.”

I frowned, what the fuck? I gripped her hair tilting her head back so that she would look at me. “What are you talking about?”

Her eyes were pleading with me. “Everyone hates me once they know.” She cleared her throat. “Everyone… even my family.” She gulped.

I shook my head. “I don’t give a fuck about everyone. I don’t hate you, baby, I love you, and I’m not leaving you. Calm down.” I reassured her as I rubbed her back.

She hiccupped as she looked up at me confused. “You're not?” she asked.

I shook my head. “No baby, I'm not. Now calm down ok. Let's get ready for bed.”

She nodded but didn’t move. She pulled in a deep breath and began to wring her fingers together. “I uh… have something to talk to you about.”

I kissed her forehead to help ease her nerves. “What is it?” I asked.

“Your mom had this theory…” she paused and frowned. “By the way, did you tell her that I was sick while I was gone and that’s why I wasn’t around?” she asked.

I nodded. “I did. I didn’t want to scare her or make her nervous.”

She nodded. “Anyway, her thinking that id been sick for so long and my looking perfectly healthy she got this whole big idea.”

My eyebrow arched. “You planning on getting to the point babe?” I asked.

She frowned at me. “Fine, she started talking about babies...” my other eyebrow flew up.

“And?”

“She made me take a test!” she yelled out causing me to laugh.

“That doesn’t sound so bad…”

She growled at me. “It was positive!” she threw her arms up in exasperation. “You did this.” She said pointing a finger at me.

I was starting to second guess the part where she claimed that she wasn’t bipolar. Her moods were giving me whiplash. I backtracked. “You're pregnant?”

“Yes, you moron. Didn’t you hear me the first time?”

I tossed her back on the bed and climbed on top of her. “Good.”

She swatted my chest. “Good? What do you mean good?”

I leaned down and nipped her lip. “Because maybe this will calm your ass down.”

She growled, and I laughed. “It's not funny, Gio. I'm not on birth control.”

I shook my head and sat up on my heels. “I knew that. You’ve told me before. I didn’t care then, and I don’t care now. I knew we were unprotected.” I crossed my arms as a thought came to me. “Are you pissed about this? Do you not want to have my kid?” the thought that she could say no made my skin crawl.

Her face softened. “It's not that… I'm afraid.” She pushed herself to a sitting position and pulled her legs in and put her chin on her knee. “Don’t you think its too soon, too fast. I don’t want it to be a few months later and ready to pop, and you realize that you made a mistake.”

I shook my head. “I don’t like the way you look at yourself.” I grabbed her chin forcing her to look at me. “You're mine baby. That’s not going to happen. You annoy me, you make me fucking crazy sometimes, you push my buttons, and you make me want to knock you upside your head sometimes, but I'm fucking crazy about you. I love you baby, and because I do, I'm stuck having to put up with you psycho ass.”

She blushed and tried to fight her smile, but it was there. “You have such a way with words. That was almost sweet.”

I tackled her back onto the bed. “You fucking ate that shit up.”

“I didn’t.” she argued and stuck her tongue out at me.

I took that as an invitation and captured it in my mouth. She moaned, and I released her. “You were fucking blushing babe. You were.” She opened her mouth to argue some more, and I didn’t give her a chance. I kissed her hard and used my knees to spread her legs. “As much as I enjoy arguing with you, I would much rather do other things right now.” I kissed her neck. “Now tell me baby, are you up for me to put my cock in your tight pussy?” I asked.

I felt her body shiver from my words, and she nodded. “God yes.”

I grinned and didn’t waste any more time having her.