Nora
“We need to talk,” Mark said at the door before he even walked into the apartment.
At first, I expected him to grab me and force me to talk to him, as part of some roleplay where I was being punished again. That wasn’t what happened. He walked in past me and headed straight for the couch.
“You got any beer?” he asked.
“Yes, sir,” I answered him obediently.
“We can drop that for right now,” he called from the couch, his voice exasperated. “We’re not having sex at the moment, so it’s not necessary.”
“Who are you and what did you do with Mark?” I asked, laughing as I took a beer into the living room for him.
“Have a seat,” he said, patting on the cushions next to him on my couch. It was strange not to have to be submissive to him. I had spent most of the last three months in a position of submission.
My knee-jerk reaction was to thank him for allowing me to sit on my couch, but I didn’t want to ruin the moment. I bit my tongue.
He sat forward and rested his elbows on his knees. I could see by his face that something was really troubling him. He stared at his beer as if contemplating it, but I knew there was something else on his mind. He wasn’t thinking about the quality of the hops or the richness of the flavor.
“Okay, spill the beans,” I said. “I’ve never seen you like this. What’s up?”
He sighed and shook his head. “It’s work, the MC,” he said. “I really shouldn’t bother you about it.”
“Well, you have, so it’s too late to stop now. Tell me what’s going on before I have to find out from someone else.” As good as it felt to let myself go with him in bed, it felt damn good to regain myself with him in normal conversation.
He looked at me narrowed his eyes.
“You said to drop the submissive stuff.” I shrugged and laughed, taking a sip of the water I already had sitting on the coffee table.
“So I did.” He looked back his beer and took a sip of it. “Okay, where do I start?”
“The beginning’s usually a good place.”
He snapped his face back toward me.
“Okay, I’ll relax, sorry.” I put a hand on his back and gently rubbed between his tense shoulders. “Hey, it’s obvious something’s really bothering you. You can tell me,” I said.
Sitting on the couch and talking was a break from our routine, but it also felt like I was being given the chance to improve my situation. By putting myself in a position where he felt like he could confide in me, I was making myself more valuable to him, making him more likely to keep me around after the original arrangement had been fulfilled.
And it was already on its way to completion.
I was pregnant, but I hadn’t told him yet. I had been afraid that it would change everything once he knew. The original agreement had been that all of this – the sex, the money, the honorary position in the MC – was gone once I provided him with an heir.
“Things are getting worse in New Hampshire and Vermont,” he told me.
“New Hampshire and Vermont?” I asked.
“Yeah, we’ve been having trouble in the markets we’re working there,” he explained. “I’ve been trying to get it under control, but someone is letting our rivals know what we’re doing. They’re staying a step ahead of us.” He took a good swig of his beer.
“Do you think it’s an inside job?” I asked, resuming my submissive tone. I may have reached confidant status with him, but I was still there to support him, not to overshadow him or bust his balls.
“Oh, it’s definitely an inside job, but I have no clue who it could be.” He let his voice trail off as he fidgeted with his bottle.
I scooted closer to him, pressing my body against him for comfort or encouragement, trying to get him to open up more. I wanted him to know I was there for more than just sex. He could use me for anything, to put it in terms he might have used.
“I’m losing my grip, Nora,” he said finally. I hadn’t expected to hear something like that from him. It was strange to hear his concern over losing control over the MC because he was always in control of everything. Always.
I wanted to say something sympathetic or encouraging, but I was at a loss. What was I supposed to tell a rough, dominant, tattooed biker who was worried about losing his position as the head of his MC? Did I tell him it was all in his head and to forget about it, that everything was going to be fine?
He turned to me. “It’s more important now than ever that we try to make this baby happen,” he said. “It’s the only way I’m going to be able to hold the Reapers together. If we can’t make it happen, I stand to lose everything, Nora.”
I tried to convince myself that it was the perfect time to tell him about the baby. I couldn’t break through my selfishness, though, to say anything. Alice’s warning about not knowing when or how the situation could go south still rang in my head. I didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize my situation. His conviction that we needed to try harder was enough to change things up, and I didn’t know what that really meant for me anyway.
“We can always try harder,” I found myself saying. I ran a hand along his thigh as I spoke.
He chuckled and grabbed my hand. “Maybe we can get back to it later,” he said.
“You really must be stressed out over all of this,” I said, sitting back against the couch and reaching up to his shoulders. I pulled his vest to the side so I could feel the tense muscles under his shirt. I dug my fingers into his shoulders and started trying to rub the tension out. He was rock solid.
I felt bad for not telling him he didn’t have to worry so much about an heir, because I was already pregnant, and no matter how far along I was, it wasn’t going to be all that long before we could find out the sex of the baby, not in the grand scheme of things anyway. But I chalked it up to a kind of self-preservation. I was ensuring that I would still have a leg to stand on in our arrangement.
I also expected him to ask about it at some point, but he never brought it up, even when we were talking about it. I figured if it was the main point of what we were doing, whether or not it was working should have been on his mind.
He laughed quietly while I rubbed his shoulders.
“Is something wrong?” I asked, afraid he was laughing at the way I massaged him.
“No, it’s just I’m supposed to be the one in control, and I’m sitting here spilling my guts to you, giving you the power,” he mused.
“I don’t see it that way at all,” I told him, keeping my tone gentle and submissive. “I see it as one of my many jobs to listen to you when you have something on your mind. It’s not just my job to be submissive and pleasing in bed. I’m also here to help you relax or comfort you when you bring your burdens to me.”
I was sort of making it up as I went along. We hadn’t talked about my role outside of the bedroom before, but those were some of the roles I had taken from my time with Ryan, and I felt like they applied to Mark as well. The last thing I wanted him to think was that the power dynamics in our relationship were shifting.
I had come to depend on him financially. I even took comfort in his strange company. I had learned how to read his brand of tenderness, and I had grown accustomed to it as well. So as much as I wanted to pretend there was nothing between us, there was some form of attachment growing. And it wasn’t going to be long before that attachment started to feel like something deeper and more meaningful.
He took another sip of his beer. “Thank you for listening,” he said. “I’ve got to get back to the clubhouse to work out a plan to stop these guys.” He drained his beer.
“I thought you said you didn’t know who was behind it,” I said.
“I don’t know who’s leaking information to them, but the people who are causing problems for us are the same ones who put our actual president behind bars. If I can show that I can continue Alan’s legacy, I can unite the MC against this threat, and together, we can beat them back. If I can do that, Alan won’t have a position to return to when he gets out. The MC will make me the new president while he’s behind bars,” Mark explained to me.
“I know. You’ll do it, baby,” I said.
“For now, I need to make sure we’re ready to make a move against these guys,” he said, getting up from the couch.
I stood up with him and threw my arms around his neck. I pulled him to me and kissed his cheek. If he wouldn’t let me cheer him up in bed, the least I could do was show my support for him.
I walked him to the door like I always did and watched him go down to the parking lot, where he hopped on his bike and sped off. I watched as he pulled out of the parking lot. As he sped away down the road, I caught myself worrying about him and about the MC.
Things were already changing for us, just by my providing him with the opportunity to talk to me about what was on his mind. I was working my way further in. I hoped that as I made myself more valuable to him, I wouldn’t have to worry as much about being dumped as soon as I provided him with a child.
I closed my apartment door and went back inside. I hadn’t realized it at the time, but while he’d been sitting there talking to me, he’d left some cash on the coffee table, even though we hadn’t slept together. He hadn’t emptied himself into me, but I had still satisfied my end of the agreement between us.
I pocketed the cash and threw out the beer bottle. He hadn’t even asked why I didn’t grab a beer with him. Normally, that was the kind of detail that would have set off his suspicions. He must have been pretty preoccupied with work.
Then again, I wondered if I would have been honest with him about the baby even then. Could I have told him I was pregnant if he asked? Could I have maintained my silence? I wondered if I needed to tell Alice first so she could give me some advice on how and when to approach Mark.