Chapter Eight

Apart from the spacious library, a considerable number of much smaller storage rooms and bedrooms comprised Roman’s sanctuary. Up until that point, Raul had not troubled himself with going into them. However, now that his choices were literally decreasing to almost none, he, Dean and Ray had to explore them.

Still, “exploration” was not an accurate term for these rooms. They were barely big enough to house him or his brothers, and so cramped they all found it difficult to even maneuver in them. Most of them either contained boxes of old clothes; luckily, two of them were filled with books and notebooks. More than that, the massive amount of dust on each and every one of those rooms rendered it next to impossible for them to consider reading anything in there. Frustratingly enough, their findings had to be taken to the library.

Firstly, Raul had to separate books from notebooks. It was an easy task, but he had to use extreme care. The reason for such caution existed in the fact that he found himself handling faded print books that were almost a hundred years old, and worn-out notebooks that had quite a few pages sticking out of them. Should one of those pages slip out, he would be in a great deal of trouble. The Alpha knew it would take a while to finish his task, but neither the work nor the fragility of his findings worried him. What did concern him was the small size of those rooms, both in height and in width. Raul recalled his grandfather as a big man; 6’3”, a little over 200lbs, and very athletic. This structure was supposed to be his safe house. How could he have built those rooms like that?

Hours later, the brothers carried the boxes into the library. Thousands of dust particles rose up in the air, as they dropped them onto the floor. Taking a deep breath, Raul bent down, and picked up the notebook on the top of the pile. A deep-yellow page came into view, as he flipped the cover open. The date on the upper left corner read:

05-16-1937

His initial thought was to put it down. Helena had written this entry eighty years ago. It wouldn’t avail him in any way, and he would avoid prying into her private life, wherever possible. But, as he caught a glimpse of his grandfather’s name on the first line, Raul had a change of heart. Each word would take some effort to make out; the writing was faded, but, even so, he would try to read it. Helena had been kind enough to let him know about the reasons of her breakup with Roman, but Raul still knew very little about them.

“How ironic… I begin a new notebook, right when my Roman leaves me. Here I am, writing the first entry, and it is all about the pain that has been scorching my insides since last night, when he broke up with me.

It’s spring. There’s a sense of freshness in the air, the birds are nesting in the trees all around our little town, and the sun is shining in the blue sky. But, my heart cannot feel any of that. Your leaving has put up a wall that blocks out every warm feeling. It’s cold: freezing cold. Whatever I do, I cannot escape the emptiness that I feel inside. I walk in the sunshine, and I think I’m crossing a frozen sea. I don’t see trees around me, but tall, jagged icebergs. They close in on me, every time I recall our breakup. Before I know it, I start running, trying to avoid them, trying to forget the harsh words that came out of your mouth last night. They cut like a knife… so deep that now I feel like my life is slipping away from me. That my next breath is going to be my last. In the bitter hours of my loneliness, I close my eyes, telling myself that this is all a bad dream. I say to myself that I will wake up, and it’s all going to be ok. But, it won’t. It is real. You are gone, and I’m just trying to pick up the pieces of my shattered heart.

Where is your face, my sweet Roman? Where is your voice? Why would you take them away from me? You don’t need to answer that. You’re afraid, afraid that, maybe someday, my powers will be the death of you. You don’t believe me, my love. You never did. And you never trusted me. If you did, we would still be together. You would see the absurdity of your fears: because that’s what they are, Roman; absurd. My powers are not beyond my control. I would never hurt you, in any way. I would not bring harm to the man I love.

As much as it breaks me up inside, I will grant your wish. I will stay away from you. I will not bother you again. There is no point in insisting, anyway. You have made up your mind. Do not think that you can count on my help in the future, though. I would gladly provide a helping hand, if you were still mine. However, if you do fall in love with someone else, you two are on your own. This may sound like payback, but, let me assure you: it isn’t. You can’t reject me, and then crawl to me for help.

The night draws in. Tears blur my vision, as I look up into the sky. You don’t have to worry, my love. I will not be alone. I have the moon and the stars to keep me company. And they will never betray me.

A deep gasp escaped Raul, as he tore his gaze away from the page. It was as if he had been holding his breath under the water for a minute, and he had just surfaced for breath.

“What a fool…” he grumbled, biting his lower lip, as he tossed Helena’s notebook back into the box. The Alpha knew that Helena loved his grandfather; yet, he didn’t know how much their breakup had upset her.

“Fool?” Dean averted his gaze from the book in front of him, to look up at his brother. “Who are you talking about?”

“Grandpa, who else?” Raul stated rhetorically, thrusting his arms out to each side. “How could he turn his back on a love like that?”

“Guys, you might want to take a look at this,” Ray said, the urgency in his voice forcing both of his brothers to turn their attention to him. He had a photograph of Helena, Monica, Julia and Melissa in his hand, but was not looking at the front side of it. Instead, he was staring at its back. Raul felt his heart pounding in his chest, as he started off towards him. In his eagerness, he snatched the photograph out of Ray’s grasp.

“Summer, winter, autumn or spring

Peace is where the sun killed the king”

In the blink of any eye, Raul’s adrenaline shot into the ozone layer. He was searching for clues, not riddles. Narrowing his eyes at his brother, he pressed his lips together, as his inner beast twitched in unease.

“A riddle? Are you kidding me?” He exclaimed as his nostrils flared and his breathing quickened.

“Kate might be able to shed some light on this,” Dean stated, turning right to face his brother. “She’s good at solving riddles. I think we might have a lead after all. Keep your hopes up.”

If only Raul could take his advice. If only he could believe that the key to finding Helena was just Kate’s interpretation. But he was too emotional to process this. Perhaps it was the witch’s words about his grandfather that had affected him too much. He had a soft spot for broken hearts, especially when those hearts belonged to the people closest to him. Therefore, he chose to keep his mouth shut, and follow his brother Dean for a change. Instead of doing the leading himself, the authoritative Alpha, the most dominant wolf in his pack, was now being led. Raul didn’t mind. He loved his brothers fiercely. He was willing to pay a much bigger price than just following Dean.