The fear in her eyes brought out all of Bob’s protective instincts, and they were considerable. Being Alpha meant protecting the weak and helping those who needed help. It was important to him to get to the bottom of her problem and put an end to it, but he sensed he’d have to tread carefully with the skittish female.

The fact that she had wanted him to put on the swim trunks was odd. Most shifters were comfortable with nudity. It was a fact of life when you had to get naked to shapeshift.

Something had made this little female uncomfortable with skin. What he didn’t know was the extent of her problem. Was it just males that she objected to seeing in the buff? Just Alpha males? Someone who might pose a physical threat?

The thought made his blood run cold. If some sick bastard had hurt this little wildcat, he was going to answer to Bob sooner rather than later.

But she’d also refused to shapeshift in front of him and chosen to meet him tonight in her human form, fully dressed. Maybe it wasn’t just male nudity she was uncomfortable with. Still, it was damned odd and very worrying. Bob did his best not to let his anger show.

She had said something about not having always lived among shifters. He needed to know more about that, but he sensed she would run if he started to interrogate her about her past. He had to tread lightly and figure out why a beautiful little bobcat was so uncomfortable in her own human skin.

“Why don’t you sit back down and we’ll talk. We can eat the rest of those delicious pastries. My Clan is far away and I’m a guest here, just like you. We’re equal, here in this forest, next to this pond. Just two cats, enjoying the evening breeze.” He tried his best to sweet talk her into calming down and sticking around. He’d stopped her headlong flight away from him, but he had to coax her to choose to stay.

She looked like she was softening as some of the panic left her gaze. He cupped her shoulders, stroking gently. He wasn’t holding her. Not really. His touch wasn’t meant to confine or restrict, but rather to comfort. She seemed to understand the difference, which was definitely a step in the right direction.

“You’re an Alpha. You’re a Redstone Alpha. Even my Clan up in the mountains knew about the Redstones,” she whispered.

“I’m a Redstone and I’m an Alpha, but that doesn’t mean much here.” He looked around the dark forest. “All I see here is you and me. A girl and a guy. A box of pastries. A moonlit night. And a pond full of tasty fish.”

He lifted his hands off her shoulders, taking the chance she would flee, but she remained stationary, looking up at him. He started to breathe again. He still had a chance.

“Why don’t we sit down,” he invited again, gently. “Of all my brothers, I’m the most talkative. Ask anyone. Being cooped up alone in that little cabin is hard on me. I’m a very social cat who feels very much the outsider here in the Lords’ territory.”

She took a deep breath and nodded, resuming her seat with slow, deliberate movements. He sat a short distance away, not wanting to crowd her. He felt like they were making progress.

“It gets better, once they get to know you a bit,” she offered. “When I first got here, I wasn’t sure of my welcome, but everyone here is really nice. The ladies at the Pack house have sort of taken me under their wing—or paw, might be more accurate.” She smiled a little at her own pun and the simple gesture enchanted him.

“I had lunch at the Pack house with Rocky today,” he said, keeping the conversation light and innocuous.

“I know,” she surprised him by saying. “I was baking these…” she offered him the box of pastries again, “…in the kitchen while you were there. The ladies were speculating about who you were and why Rocky had chosen to bring you to the Pack house. He usually takes his meals with his family.”

“I suspect it was to protect his cubs from me—the big, bad stranger.” Bob scowled in a humorous way that made her laugh. He was fast learning he’d do just about anything to hear that sound of joy fall from her too-serious lips.

“I don’t think he meant anything by it. He’s just super protective of his mate. I’ve heard she’s human,” Serena added.

“The giant grizzly fell for a human girl? Well now, that’s interesting. Of course, I’m no one to talk. Three of my brothers have gotten hitched recently and each one found an exceptional woman who wasn’t quite what we expected.”

“Really?” She seemed curious, so he elaborated, hoping to set her more at ease.

“Grif’s mate, Lindsey, was the granddaughter of a Native shaman. She was raised among humans but through some pretty intense magic and a little divine intervention, she became a cougar. According to Grif it surprised the heck out of them both. She’s been learning how to handle her claws for a while now. She’s getting the hang of it, but it’s still kind of fun to watch. She’s like a full-grown kitten, just learning how to walk sometimes.” He chuckled remembering.

He liked Lindsey a lot. Nobody could fill his dead mother’s shoes, of course, but Lindsey was carving out her own place as a new kind of matriarch for the Clan. She had a kind heart and she made Grif happy, which was the main thing. Bob liked seeing his family in good spirits—something that had become difficult for the brothers to achieve since the murder of their mother.

Little by little though, as the older ones found mates, the debilitating sadness was beginning to lift. They’d already gotten justice for their mother. They’d tracked down the killers and made them pay. Now it was just a matter of healing the holes in their hearts where their beloved mother had been. Three of them had found mates in the last year, which Bob counted as a blessing.

“Then Steve managed to find a mate with some pretty amazing powers. She’s part water sprite, though she was raised mostly in the human world. She was unaware of shifters until she met Steve, actually. It’s been fun to see her becoming comfortable with all the magic in our Clan, and in the world in general. She’s a very powerful woman who has no airs about her amazing abilities. And she loves my brother a lot. It’s good to see that kind of bond between them. Gives the rest of us hope.” Bob smiled and he knew he probably looked wistful. He meant every word.

“And then there’s Mag,” Bob went on. “He just brought a whole new weirdness into the family by mating with a vampiress. It’s not generally known, but it’s not quite the secret it had been. Still, their mating was Goddess-blessed. The priestess and her mate said so. I believe it. I’ve never seen Mag like that with any woman, and it’s obvious Miranda would do anything for him. They have a really strong bond.”

“That sounds both strange and wonderful. I thought cougars as highly ranked as you and your brothers would only mate with other cougars,” Serena said in a quiet voice.

“Apparently the Mother of All has other ideas.” Bob made a respectful sign toward the heavens. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot, actually. Maybe it’s because our Clan is so diverse. Or maybe it’s because Grif is the Clan Alpha. He mated a cougar—albeit a newly minted one—and the rest of us are more or less free to go where the wind takes us. Or maybe I’m full of it. I have no idea why things have worked out the way they have, but I can’t complain. My brothers are happy. Their mates are happy. The Clan is happy. That’s the important thing.” He shrugged.

“And what would make you happy?” she asked unexpectedly. He looked at her, his eyes narrowing in thought.

“I suppose the same things that make most men happy. A good job—which I already have. A purpose in life. Again, something I’ve got thanks to my family. A loving home life. A mate. That’s something that’s eluded me up ‘til now, but I have high hopes.” He winked at her and loved the way she blushed in response. His little wildcat was shy, but not unresponsive to him. That was a step in the right direction as far as he was concerned. “What about you?”

She paused, seeming to think before she answered. “I just want peace.”

“The peace-of-mind kind of peace, or the world peace kind?” he pushed.

She looked at him, her gaze direct and sincere. “Peace of mind,” she replied with no hesitation, though her voice was soft.

 

They talked softly there by the small pond, long into the night. Bob had a gentle spirit despite his Alpha nature. Or maybe it was because of his strong nature that he recognized the need to be gentle with her. Whatever it was, the big cougar put her bobcat at ease over the hours that followed.

They talked of inconsequential things as well as important things, in a general way. She told him a little bit about the places she’d lived and where she’d grown up. Bob opened up to her a little more about his family and it was clear to her that he loved his brothers and surviving sister deeply.

“Our mother was murdered not too long ago, so it’s good to see my older brothers overcoming that and finding joy again in their lives, and their new mates.”

He sounded so wistful, the look in his eyes so far away, she felt the need to reach out to him. She touched his hand where it rested on the rock a foot away from her. He hadn’t moved too much closer over the time they’d talked and she’d liked that he’d respected her unspoken boundaries. But now she wanted the small contact. She wanted him to know she felt for him.

“I lost my parents when I was very young,” she admitted in a quiet voice. She seldom shared this painful part of her past with anyone, but she recognized the same loss in his eyes as she still felt in her heart when she thought about the loving bobcat shifters she remembered from her early childhood—so different from what had come after.

Bob accepted her sympathy with a sad smile and turned his hand around, grasping hers lightly. They held hands and watched the water ripple in the pond as fish nibbled at leafy plants near the surface.

“I’m sorry,” he said after a time, and she felt the real meaning behind his simple words. “Losing a parent is an especially difficult pain. It changes you and your life is never quite the same. We lost our dad a long time before our mother was taken from us. That was really hard, but mom was there. We were strong for her and she was always there for us as we took over the running of the Clan and the family business. Grif took the brunt of the responsibility as eldest, but we all helped. And mom was the best matriarch our Clan has ever seen. She grieved for our dad for the rest of her life, but she didn’t let her sorrow take her away from her family or her Clan, and everyone loved her for her dedication and care.”

“She sounds like an amazing woman,” Serena offered. “I’m sorry I’ll never get to meet her. She sounds a lot like I remember my mother being, though I was really too little to remember much. I just remember her warmth and acceptance. And so much love it could fill the world. It did fill my world. Until I was about six years old.” Her thoughts turned dark, remembering when everything had changed.

“What happened?” Bob’s question was direct but oddly, it didn’t feel like he was prying.

It felt more as if he was commiserating. He’d shared his sorrow and it felt right to tell him of her own experience. It had never felt so right to share such personal thoughts with anyone before. Bob was just easy to talk to and he really listened. Just listened and didn’t judge.

“We were on a road trip from the Oregon coast, where we lived, to somewhere east, where I believe my father was from. The roads are very steep in those mountains, and a poorly loaded tractor trailer lost control and hit us. I don’t remember much except the scream of metal and the horrible smell of burning tires and then I was in the air, thrown clear. I landed in the grass and was fine except for some bumps and bruises from when I was thrown from the car. My parents weren’t as lucky. They were stuck inside and couldn’t break free. The car rolled over and over…”

Bob squeezed her hand gently, taking her out of the memory and back to the pond and the quiet forest night. She was grateful for the distraction and smiled her thanks at him. Only then did she realize her face was wet with tears.

So many tears. So many years. The childhood trauma still had the power to make her cry, even after all this time. And what had come after was even worse.

She used her free hand to brush at her cheeks, a little self conscious, but Bob didn’t say anything. He just held her hand and offered his silent support. He was solid in the night. Secure.

At least he made her feel that way. Which was something entirely new in her experience. She hadn’t felt safe in a male’s presence in…well…probably since the accident that had made her an orphan.

“The car exploded and I knew my parents were gone. Rescue crews came and someone picked me up and wrapped a scratchy blanket around me. I think it was a police officer. And then they took me to a hospital, but I wasn’t really hurt. A lady from social services came and they put me with a foster family while they tried to find relatives. All they had was our address on the coast and we didn’t have kin there. I was too little to know details, so when their inquiries failed to find relatives, I ended up in the foster care system. I was raised among humans for several years. After a while, I wasn’t really sure what I remembered about my mother and father being able to turn into bobcats was real. The other kids’ parents didn’t turn into animals and the adults all seemed to think my little make-believe stories were cute, and maybe a little scary. Eventually, I stopped telling them and just accepted that nobody I knew now could change the way I remembered.”

“I’m sorry you had such a tough time of it, kitten.” Bob’s voice was full of compassion and understanding. He was a good listener and she found herself telling him things she never expected to share with anyone else.

“I spent my formative years among humans and learned their ways, but eventually I was discovered and adopted by a couple from the Cascade Clan.”

“That must’ve been quite a change to go from the human world back into our world after so long.”

“Yeah. It was a shock at first. Suddenly, these strange, yet familiar-smelling people—bobcats—were there, adopting me and taking me away to live with them. I thought it was going to be so great, but little by little, it turned kind of ugly. Jack was nothing like I remember my father being. And his mate wasn’t the motherly sort at all. I think she hated me from the beginning. The human family I’d lived with had been so much nicer, willing to let me grieve. They’d been supportive even when they thought I was a little weird compared to the human kids.”

She knew Bob had to be surprised by what she’d been through. Most shifters were, when they heard her story. She’d heard it wasn’t really normal for a shifter cub to be raised by humans, even for a little while. Most shifter groups kept track of their children, absorbing them into other shifter families if something happened to their parents.

“Jack always said he thought my time among humans weakened me. And the fact that I was a late bloomer shifting-wise didn’t help.”

“What happened at your first shift?” he asked quietly.

She’d learned since coming here that the first shift was tough for most species of shifters. It also came at different times depending on the level of magic they had. Some—like bear cubs—shifted almost from the very beginning. Most other species didn’t shift for the first time until puberty, or thereabouts.

“I didn’t shift until I was seventeen. My cat had been dying to get out and run for years, but my human side was really confused and scared of what it would mean among the Cascade Clan. Eventually though, the cat would no longer be denied and I shifted all of a sudden. One of the other kids was teasing me and I wanted to run. My bobcat wanted to run too and it let loose, forcing the shift that had been so delayed and…” she trailed off, remembering.

“Let me guess. You ran.” Bob’s dry tone made her chuckle, as he’d no doubt intended, and the mood lightened.

He was good at that. Good at gauging her mood and doing things—little things—to alleviate the more somber times. Even on such short acquaintance, he already knew how to read her.

“My cat tasted freedom and didn’t want to go back. I didn’t either, really. But I had to, eventually. I faced the music and to my surprise, it was the one time that Jack didn’t disapprove of what I’d done. He was actually kind of nice about it and let me off without punishment. I was so green, but after that, my bobcat knew what to do and it helped me through the first few months. When I turned eighteen, Jack wanted me to go to work for the Clan, but that’s a whole other story.”

She fell silent. She didn’t really want to get into all that tonight. She’d opened up to Bob more than she’d ever opened up to anyone on such short acquaintance. Feeling vulnerable, she decided she’d done enough sharing for one night.

“It’s getting late.” She deliberately took her hand back from Bob’s grasp and immediately missed his warmth.

“If you ever want to talk, while I’m here or even after I go home, all you have to do is call me,” Bob offered in that soft, steady voice that nearly melted her heart. “I understand loss and I won’t judge. From what you’ve told me already, you’ve been through more than most shifters, and at a very young age. You have my respect, Serena. And my thanks.”

“Thanks?” That surprised her into looking at him. His face was solemn and oh, so handsome in the dark night. “What for?”

“For trusting me.” He scooted closer and reached out one big hand to cup her cheek.

She allowed the touch because on some level, she realized, she did trust him. The thought should have alarmed her. Instead, it warmed her.

He moved closer and she didn’t dare even breathe as his mouth hovered near hers. And then their lips met and warmth spread from that light contact, downward through her body to her core. When he pressed closer, she didn’t resist. If anything, she met him halfway. Maybe more than halfway. It was as if she was starved for the gentle, yet erotic contact of his mouth on hers as he deepened the kiss into realms of pure pleasure.

His tongue stroked inside her mouth, the pressure easy, coaxing. His passion didn’t frighten her, oddly enough. Instead, it seemed to spark something to life inside her she’d thought extinguished forever. She moved into his arms, wanting more, and he gave it to her.

He gave her all she asked for and just a little bit more, pressing his advantage, pushing her gently to the next level bit by little bit. She sighed as his teeth bit her lower lip when he pulled away. Damn, the man was sexy.

She’d practically climbed into his lap, but he paused to look deep into her eyes.

Not what she had expected.

He’d stopped to let her think. Or perhaps to verify that she was thinking at all.

“You drive me wild, kitten,” he breathed, his hands petting her back and roaming down to her waist. Only the thin layer of her cotton dress separated them and for an untamed moment, she wanted it gone. Then sanity returned.

Her breathing hitched. “You do the same to me,” she admitted. “It’s not something I’m used to.” Shyness returned in a flash and she cringed at her own words. This Redstone Alpha was a worldly man. He lived in a place the rest of the world called Sin City. She must seem the most awful bumpkin to a guy like him.

She tried to pull out of his embrace, but he wouldn’t let her go. He wasn’t forceful about it, but he held her fast until she stilled.

“Look at me, kitten,” he said in a very quiet, very serious voice. He was so gentle with her. It was enough to make her eyes tear. Why was this one man—this one, unattainable man—so good to her?

Looking up to meet his gaze, she felt horribly vulnerable. The look in his eyes though… It wasn’t impatient or condemning, or even questioning. Any of those things would only have agitated her more. No, Bob Redstone’s gaze held understanding. And patience. And most of all, compassion.

Sweet Mother of All, he was a special man.

“I think we might have something here, though I know you’re scared.” His deep voice warmed the cold places in her soul. “Heck, I think I’m a little scared too, if you want to know the truth. Now, big bad Alphas aren’t supposed to admit stuff like that, so if you repeat it, I’ll deny it.” He moved one hand up to push a tendril of hair away from her face. The touch was so light, so caring. He touched her like she was made of spun glass, and it made her breath catch. “Just don’t run from me, okay? If I push you too far, I promise I won’t bite you if you push back. Well, not unless you want me to.” He winked at her and just like that, his humorous little innuendo almost made her laugh.

“I’m just not sure… This is all so confusing.”

He stroked her hair back again, pausing to lift her chin with his index finger so she would meet his gaze.

“I know. It’s new to me too. New and beautiful, and something I want to explore. Don’t you?” His gaze was full of hopeful understanding and a bit of very male satisfaction, if she was any judge. “We’ll take this at whatever pace you set, kitten. But we will explore this thing between us. That’s a promise you can bank on.” His gaze turned serious and she felt the import of his amazing words in every nerve. “I’ve never felt this kind of instant attraction to anyone. It feels important to me. Don’t tell me you don’t feel it too.” He moved closer and placed a gentle kiss on her brow and she shivered in response, the pleasure of his small touch working its way like lightning down her spine. “If you try to deny it, I won’t believe you anyway. Your response to my kisses tells me all I need to know,” he whispered before letting her go.

She didn’t move far, though only moments ago she had wanted to flee. He had a way about him that forestalled her usual adrenaline-induced attempts at escape. She took a deep breath, wanting for once to deal with a situation rather than run from it.

“I can’t make you any promises. My past…well…I’m the first to admit I’m more than a little damaged. There are still things you don’t know about me.” She looked away, watching the water flow sluggishly into the pond from the little stream before it flowed out again on the other side. “I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to tell you about it all.”

“You don’t have to tell me everything,” he answered from the darkness on her right. “But you should tell somebody. A healer or a priestess. Somebody who can help you deal with your past and recover from it. So you can move on.”

She nodded, touched by his understanding. “I’ve talked to Bettina a couple of times, and it has helped. I’m just not sure I’ll ever be able…” She trailed off, not knowing how to put her fears into words.

Bob put one arm around her waist, inviting her to lean against him. After only a moment of confused resistance, she did. There was nothing sexual about the touch and everything comforting. He was letting her—quite literally—lean on him. Being surrounded by his strength felt really good. Really safe.

“I’m glad you have someone you can talk to,” he whispered, resting his chin on top of her head, nuzzling her hair a bit. “If you ever feel as if you can open up to me, I’m here for you. I just want to make sure you know that. At the same time, I don’t want you to feel any pressure. I’m here if you need me. That’s all. No questions asked. No pressure applied. Okay?”

She nodded against his chest. She liked the sincerity in his words and the fact that he wasn’t pushing her on this particular topic. Her past was a minefield. A tricky place that she didn’t like to contemplate or tell others about. She knew she still had to talk through some of the things that had happened with somebody. Her cat prodded her to do it, and Bob’s words were a good reminder. Maybe she’d go look for the High Priestess, Bettina, and see if she had some time to spare.

But not right now. This time with Bob was special. Beautiful. She didn’t want to taint it with painful memories of a past best forgotten. Not tonight, at least. Not when it was so new to sit in a man’s arms in the moonlight with no demands being made, no pain, no anxiety, no worries.

“Thank you,” she whispered, knowing he would hear. She wanted to give him something—a little piece of her past that just might have an impact on their future—if, indeed, they had a future together. She took a chance and revealed something very intimate. “I’ve never had sex in my human form, though my cat played with other bobcats during the frenzy, of course.”

She referred to the time after a young shifter’s first shift when the beast demanded sex. It drove young shifters into something they called the frenzy, when the beast wanted sex all the time, anytime, until finally it was sated. The frenzy lasted anywhere from a few weeks to a few years depending on the species of shifter and their personality. Hers had been really bad only for a couple of months and never had she been driven enough to do anything…extreme.

Orgies were not unheard of. Multi-partner couplings that lasted for hours or days were common. Again, it varied from shifter to shifter and among the various species.

She knew Bob was probably surprised by her admission. Sex wasn’t taboo among shifters. Far from it.

When you had to get naked to become your beast, nakedness and attraction to the opposite—or occasionally the same—sex was nothing new. Until a shifter found their true mate, nothing was really frowned upon, as long as nobody got hurt. In fact, it was considered unhealthy among some species to abstain from having sex as often as your beast half wanted it. To deny the beast was to deny half of your soul.

A shifter had to make peace with both halves of their being. Satisfying the beast was not only a duty, but a necessity. Harmony between both halves was the goal.

“Did you have bad experiences?” Bob prompted when she didn’t elaborate.

“Nothing awful. Just fumbling encounters with young guys around my own age. We were teenagers, answering the call of nature in our fur, but it wasn’t anything like what I’ve heard sex is supposed to be, and I never cared enough about any of the guys I knew to want to do it with them when my human side was in control. A lot of them made fun of me because I’d been raised partly among humans. If the human family I lived with thought I was weird, the bobcats were even worse.”

Bob was silent for a while, just holding her.

“I like humans,” he said into the dark night. “I have a few friends and a lot of business colleagues who are human. My cougar side doesn’t always understand them, but my human half sometimes wishes my life was as comparatively uncomplicated as theirs. Some of them have really big hearts and miles of compassion. That’s nothing to make fun of. I think maybe your human foster parents were probably good ones, and if they influenced your attitudes, well, that’s okay. Half of you is human, after all. We just need to find a way to get your cat and your human working together, in partnership, instead of at odds with each other.”

“That’s more or less what the priestess said.” She turned to look up at him. “How did you get so wise?” She smiled and he returned the gesture. She felt so safe with him. It was a feeling she cherished for its rarity.

“I’m an Alpha,” he quipped. “Worse than that, I’m a Redstone. You don’t grow up in my family without learning a whole lot about shifter nature.” He stroked one hand over her hair in the darkness as his expression became more serious. “We Redstones have had our share of tragedy. All the losses have made me question my beliefs a few times in my life, and I’ve developed an interest in philosophy because of it.”

She looked back at the pond, wondering about his philosophical bent. Probably like most people, she had expected one of the Alpha Redstones of Redstone Construction to be more brawn than brains. He was proving her wrong and she didn’t mind it one bit. She liked the more cerebral side of him, even though it was easy to see he had plenty of brawn to go around.

The philosopher in him though, put her at ease. She had never been so comfortable with a man and she took the time to enjoy this beautiful moment. The trickling water, the loamy scent of the earth and the almost glowing beams of moonlight made this an idyllic moment out of time. A moment worth remembering.

She felt him kiss the top of her head again and they sat by the pond for a long time, watching the night and the dark flow of water.