Bren spent the next two days getting more and more wound up. Despite using a condom, having sex with Charlie pushed him closer to her. Made his bear crazy about the damn woman. His plan to drive her out of their home became delayed by more blasted snow.
He decided, if she couldn’t leave, then he’d do the next best thing and ignore her. Avoid her as much as possible. So he’d hit the gym twice a day, needing the workout to stop him from marching into her room and taking her all over again. The intense exercise took hours and provided a handy excuse to avoid Charlie and the rest of the clan.
He’d also spent time with Justin in one of the big barns by the house, watching with fascination as Justin created a ring out of iron for Charlotte, to protect her from the fae.
He’d overheard her tell Aiyana she still experienced the voices. The two women had been cooking up a storm in the kitchen with Eric.
Charlotte explained how the good ones were urging her to give things a go with him, but the bad ones, the dark fae, whispered at her to leave.
Eric and Aiyana had moved around one another seamlessly, every now and again touching an arm or a shoulder. Their love shining out from each gesture and each look. He noticed Charlotte taking stock of their bond and saw her own eyes soften at one point when they kissed. Unsure how he felt about any of it, he’d taken the coward’s option and crept down the hall away from the bustling kitchen.
The evening meals consisted of strained conversation, many darted glances among his clan, and Charlie doing her best to act cheery and upbeat. Already half lost in her, Bren sensed her true emotions. Confusion. Anxiety. A fair bit of anger, which he assumed she held for him. Not that he blamed her. What sort of coward ran away from their problems? He did, came the unhappy answer.
His avoidance meant they didn’t talk much, but she did speak to the others at dinner. Whilst he might not have chatted with her himself, he listened carefully to all she said. He learned her friends weren’t particularly nice, her job was okay but nothing amazing, and her mum had become wrapped up in her own life recently. Basically, Charlie sounded lonely, and it made his heart ache. At one point, she’d mentioned how if she lived where they did, she’d have a mini Shetland pony, and she’d spent about half an hour telling Aiyana how cute they were.
So, yeah, she might not know it, but Bren was getting to know Charlie, even if he kept his distance.
He made his way to the living room, where he sat and scowled at the TV, dreading another uncomfortable meal where he suffered the torment of being in the same room with Charlie and not holding her. Not touching her.
“Guess what?” Kyle came into the room.
“What?” he grunted.
“Snow’s stopped.”
He hoisted himself up and strolled over to the window. Light gray skies greeted him, but not one drop of snow fell.
“Went out to see to the horses a bit ago, and it feels warm out there compared to yesterday. Maybe if it melts all day, you can get her out of here by tonight. If you still want to, of course.”
“It’s not a case of wanting,” he ground out. “You know as much. It’s about what is best for both of us. Me and her.”
“You’ll be like a bear with a sore head with her gone. Maybe more so than when you met and she tried to bash your bear brains in with a rock,” Kyle quipped.
“Ha-bloody-ha.”
He decided to hit the gym for one more workout and see if, by the time he was done, they’d be able to get the truck out.
Thirty minutes into a punishing set, Aiyana came through the door, a deep divot between her brows telegraphing her worry.
“You seen Charlie?” she asked
“No. I thought she was with you guys. Why?”
“Can’t find her anywhere.”
Brenin stopped lifting and set the weights back down. He calmed his mind, shut down the constant stream of thought from his human side, and let his bear take over. He scented the air, listened, and opened himself to the deep sixth sense bears shared with those they bonded with. Nothing. Absolutely nada.
A nasty sliver of unease wormed its way through his body.
“Come on.” He jumped up from the bench and out of the gym, Aiyana hot on his heels. By the time he reached the long corridor, he’d broken into a jog.
He headed for the porch and grabbed a jacket. Pausing for a moment, hand on the door handle, he tossed his head toward the stairs. “Take another check upstairs. I’m going out to see if she’s in the barn with the horses or hanging out with Justin.”
Ten minutes later, Bren came back to the house empty-handed. He opened the door and stomped the snow off his boots against the step. Aiyana rushed out of the kitchen.
“She’s nowhere, Bren. I’ve looked all over and so has Kyle.”
The usual smug, piss-taking expression Kyle had worn since Bren became leader had been replaced by a worried frown.
“Fuck!” He hit the wall, and something huge washed over him. A tidal wave of grief. Struggling to breathe, he tried to tamp down his panic. Holy shit, what if she’d gone out there and gotten lost in the snow? She’d die of exposure in the weather up on these desolate moors. The grief intensified, and his stomach rolled as he pictured her lost and cold.
He’d imagined that by keeping away after his tactical error of getting horizontal with Charlie, he’d avoid any attachment. More fool him.
He still didn’t plan on letting her stay, but he needed to know she’d be back home, safe. Needed to picture her out there in the world somewhere, living her life.
This is your fault. You pushed her away, and now we will always live with the knowledge we failed our mate. His bear pulled no punches in the stark message it gave him.
“She’s not our damned mate,” he snarled aloud.
Kyle raised his eyebrows, and for a moment, his usual snarky self returned. “Jeez, he’s arguing with his own bear. Not long now before he ends up losing his mind altogether.” He rolled his eyes at Aiyana, but she smacked his arm and turned to Bren.
“Do you sense her?”
“Now, no. But normally, yes.” Despite locking himself in his room or the gym for the last two days, he’d been aware of her presence in the house. An emotional splinter digging under his psychic skin. He hadn’t sensed her for a couple of hours, he realized with a sickening jolt.
“She’s been gone awhile.”
“I hope to hell she didn’t try to hike out of here,” Aiyana said.
His thoughts precisely.
He rushed to the porch and checked the coats and boots. “Doesn’t look like she took anything. She knows her jacket is useless in this weather, and I don’t see her running off without a proper coat.”
“Come on.” Kyle clapped him on the back. “Let’s shift. Go out there and see if we can track her down.”
He nodded. Yeah. Time to let his bear out and hope to God the damn thing didn’t take over and refuse to let him be in charge.
“I’m coming, too.” Aiyana started to shuck off her clothes.
“No, stay here in case she comes back. I’ll grab Eric and Justin to come with.”
“Bren, don’t be obtuse. You know I’m the best tracker in our clan.”
She spoke the truth. How a turned bear ended up with the best nose of any of them was a mystery, but she did. He grunted his assent and tore his own clothes off.
“We’ll stop by the barn and let the others know what we’re doing.” Kyle kicked off his underwear and ran out the door, giving a holler as his feet hit the snow. He dropped onto all fours, and a bear appeared in his place with nothing more than a few grunts and cracking of joints. The change seemed painless, quick, but it always hurt a little.
Not as big as Brenin but way grizzlier in appearance, Kyle made a frightful sight.
Bren kicked his own remaining clothing off and joined Kyle out in the snow. The frigid air hit his naked body, stealing his breath. A moment later, though, he stood as his bear, and his thick fur protected him from the elements.
Once Aiyana joined them, the three trooped into the barn. Kyle flashed back to human form with a pained wince and told the guys what they were doing. Justin elected to join them, and Eric said he’d man the home front in case Charlotte showed up back at the house.
Out in the snowy fields, Aiyana and the others put their noses down and scented the ground, every so often stopping and snorting the air too. Bren concentrated more on the mental link between him and the female. He waited to see if at any point the familiar, pain in his butt, splinter in his side feelings made themselves known.
He realized how utterly stupid his plan to avoid her had been, when every single nanosecond, he’d been achingly aware of Charlie’s presence in his home.
His bear paced back and forth, hating the slow progress but knowing they needed to be thorough. After about an hour of walking over by the eastern edge of their land, Bren finally sensed something.
Charlie! Faint as a whisper, less a splinter and more a mournful echo, but it tasted of her.
He growled low to the others to catch their attention and indicated with his snout the direction to head.
They began to run, and once they reached the boundary of the fence, Bren simply crashed right through it. They’d fix it later.
Five minutes later, they reached a spot in the woods where the trees backed up against a high wall. Bren sensed Charlie here, in this spot, but no sign of her remained.
He raised himself up on his back legs and crashed his huge paws into the ground in frustration, letting out a massive roar. Where had his girl gone?