Chapter 23
Bartol
Bartol did one last survey of the woods before flashing back to his cabin. It was his habit to check the area after dinner each night to be certain all was safe for the woman he guarded. This evening had been more pleasant than usual because Cori had been cheerful and chatted with him about her day. She didn’t ask him any questions in return, though he’d found himself volunteering information about how his and Melena’s search had gone. It had seemed so normal that for the first time in a long while he forgot his troubles. How was it possible for the human woman to do that to him?
“Are you back?” Cori called out from the bathroom.
Since the door was open, he headed in that direction. “Yes.”
He found her standing in front of the sink, combing her wet hair with the new brush she’d bought during their shopping trip a few days before. She had a blue towel wrapped around her body. This confused him since she’d been careful to get dressed each time after a shower and before leaving the bathroom. He’d supposed it was her way of being considerate to him just like she hadn’t tried kissing him again lately. Why had she changed her behavior now?
“You are not dressed.”
She lifted a brow. “I thought you’d be gone longer.”
“I did not return that much sooner than usual,” he said, narrowing his eyes. “What sort of game are you playing now?”
Cori sighed, and as the breath left her body, the towel slipped. She turned her back to him to re-tie it, and he caught a glimpse of the uppermost part of her tattoo. It looked like the top of someone’s head with flowing hair. Mesmerized by the design, he found himself moving forward without thinking and tracing his finger across it.
“What are you…?” Cori shivered as he continued to touch her and glanced over her shoulder. “What are you doing?”
“I want to see all of it.”
She ducked her head, but before that he caught the rare show of vulnerability on her features he found alluring. Her voice came out a whisper, “I don’t let anyone see it.”
“What would it take to allow me?” he asked. At that moment, he would have given her anything. He couldn’t have taken his hands from her right then if he wanted.
Cori didn’t answer right away. “Tell me the real reason you have intimacy issues because I know it’s not just from Kerbasi torturing you, or Lucas would be nearly as bad off.”
“It is not something you want to know, trust me.” If he could have expunged it from his own mind, he would have.
She half turned toward him. “Tell me anyway.”
“Let me see the tattoo first,” he said, pressing his palm to her back.
“No.” Cori shrugged him off. “If I don’t hold up my end of the deal, it would only take you a second to drop this towel and look at my back. If you don’t hold up yours, I can’t force the story out of you.”
She probably could if she tried hard enough, but Bartol would not tell her she had that kind of power over him. He wished she would have asked for anything else, but he also recognized that it might be good for her to know. Cori needed to understand why he wasn’t like other men and never could be.
“While I was in Purgatory,” he began, feeling her stiffen under his palm. “Kerbasi not only tortured me physically. He manipulated my mind as well. Each time I was taken for a session with him, he would steal an intimate memory from me. I would be forced to relive it, but with the horrible changes he made.”
Cori sucked in a breath. “What kind of changes?”
“He turned the women I had sex with into ferocious monsters and made me think they were the ones torturing me instead of him. One by one, over the course of nearly a century, he ruined almost every intimate encounter I’ve ever had so that few good memories are left. He made certain I would associate sex with being tormented and helpless.” Bartol took a step back. “That is why touch bothers me so much.”
There. He’d said it. Now she would know the truth, and why he was no good for her.
Cori’s eyes misted. “Why would Kerbasi do such a thing?”
“It was one of his favorite punishments because I slept with an angel. My memories of Clarissa were the first he ruined,” Bartol answered, doing his best to keep his tone even and simply state the facts. He did not want Cori to feel sorry for him when it was hardly her fault.
“Did you care for…Clarissa?” she asked.
“No more than I did for any of my other lovers. She passed the time, but that is all.” Bartol had already said enough about his past for one day, and he did not want to get into the same explanation he gave Melena earlier. That could wait for another time if he decided it was worth mentioning.
“Thank you for telling me,” Cori said, gazing up at him. “It means a lot.”
Then she turned away and dropped the towel. Bartol sucked in a breath, finally able to see the full design on Cori’s back. It was a vivid sketch of her daughter, Faith, done in black ink. The little girl’s hair flowed around her head, and she had the sweetest smile on her face. The artist who had done the tattoo even managed to catch the twinkle in her eyes. Bartol traced his way down from where it started at Cori’s shoulder blades to the inward curve of her lower back.
“This is beautiful,” he said, amazed by the design and the woman who wore it.
“I drew the portrait,” Cori’s voice came out soft. “But I had to find someone else to do the work for obvious reasons.”
“Why do you hide it?”
“Because it’s my shrine to Faith,” she explained. “I don’t even look at it, but I like knowing it’s there and that in a way she is always close to me.”
Cori turned to face him, letting Bartol see the rest of her body and her smooth, creamy skin. He grew hard in an instant. “You should cover yourself.”
She started to speak, closed her mouth, then opened it again. “What if there was a way we could be intimate?”
“I assure you there isn’t.”
Cori dropped her gaze. “What if I let you tie me up so you had complete control?”
The thought had crossed his mind before, but he’d discarded it because of her own trauma. “That would require you giving me your complete trust. You said you cannot trust men anymore.”
“I can’t—at least, not the ones outside of this cabin.”
Bartol worked his throat. “You shouldn’t trust me, either.”
“Would you promise not to hurt me?” she asked, staring up at him through her long lashes.
He wanted to tell her no, but it was rather difficult to do with her standing there like a siren out to seduce him. “I would never intentionally harm you.”
She gave him an intense look. Mere inches separated them, and he knew it took a lot for her not to reach out. Her fingers kept clenching and unclenching as though she barely held herself in check. “Then tie me up if it would help.”
Bartol wanted to grab her right then, but this was not a matter that could be rushed. He had to approach this cautiously. Though he might want her more than anything in the world at that moment, there were a thousand things that could go wrong. It was important he made the restrictions clear to her. He was broken, and she’d just offered a potential way for them to get around his difficulties and perhaps seek pleasure in each other. Bartol did not want to risk it going terribly wrong. Not with her, never with her.
“You would not be able to speak, either,” he said, remembering that was what caused him trouble last time. “Though I think you are safe to moan.”
A smile played at her lips. “You think you can make me moan?”
Bartol gazed down at her, aware that his eyes must have been glowing from the passion she ignited in him with a mere look. “I already have.”
“I’ll do whatever you need,” she said, holding her wrists out. “If it means you’ll touch me.”
By all that was holy, this woman would be the death of him.
Bartol flashed away for the brief moment it took to acquire some rope from his storage shed and drop it off on his dresser. After he returned to the bathroom, he grabbed a surprised Cori and transported her to his bed, laying her flat upon the mattress. She rested her head on the pillow and put her arms at her sides so that none of her beautiful body was hidden from him. If he could have grown harder, he would have. This woman reminded him of exactly how many years it had been since he’d last slaked his lusts. Not even his worst memories affected him right then.
Cori watched with intense fascination as he yanked his shirt off and ripped it into long strips. She cooperated fully as he wrapped each one around her wrists and ankles to protect her skin. He could smell her arousal, which fed his even more.
Bartol grabbed the rope from the dresser and held it up. “Are you certain about this?”
“I trust you.”
The faith that reflected in her eyes was far more than he could have hoped for from this woman. After all she’d been through and all she continued to suffer at the hands of her former husband, it humbled Bartol that she’d handed control of her body over to him.
“Thank you.”
She stared at him a long moment. “You’re welcome.”
He pulled a folding knife from his pocket and began cutting the long rope into four sections. Cori trembled at the sight of the blade, so he put it away as soon as he finished. Then Bartol began the tying process, starting at her ankles. He made them tight enough that in his mind he’d feel safe from Cori, but not so much it would hurt her. He also left a tiny bit of slack so that he could adjust her limbs as needed. Though his motions were mostly mechanical, he found the act helped him gather himself for what he would do next.
Bartol hovered over Cori to reach her wrists and noted a hint of nervousness reflecting in her gaze. He sought to comfort her, wanting this to be as perfect as it could be despite the unusual circumstances. “You have a beautiful body.”
“I was wondering if you…” she trailed off. It was unlike her to become uncertain.
“It is perfect,” he promised.
She swallowed. “Even after all those other women?”
“You’re the only one I care about right now.”
“Good.” She adjusted herself underneath him. “Because I want tonight to be amazing.”
Bartol tied the last knot, some of his old confidence returning. “If I do my job right, it won’t be for only one night.”
Cori gave him a challenging look. “We’ll see.”
Her words strengthened his resolve to make this work. Bartol wanted to take this woman to new heights and show her that not all men were bad. This wasn’t only about him, but also her. She needed to learn trust again. Perhaps if they each gave themselves over to the pleasure and let their past pains go, they’d gain something even greater from the experience.
Bartol switched the bedside lamps to the lowest settings so that they left the room in a soft glow. Cori’s gaze followed him everywhere he went. He stopped next to the bed and kicked his shoes off, enjoying the way her eyes stared at his chest. It had driven him crazy the way she looked at him before, but only because it felt like torment at the time. She’d been tempting and taunting him when he thought he could never have her. Now that she was bound and completely open to him with her legs spread apart, he planned to take full advantage.
Bartol put a knee on the mattress and hovered over her. He waited until she shifted in restlessness before making his first move. It was important that he feel fully in control or this moment would not last. He took a finger and slid it between her legs, finding her dripping wet.
She arched into his touch. “Oh, shit!”
“No talking,” he warned.
Cori clamped her lips shut.
Bartol leaned forward and brushed his lips against her neck, feeling her shudder. He kissed, licked, and nibbled his way across her throat and over to her delicate ears. To add to the effect, he ran a hand up her body, stroking and touching, but never staying in one place long. He enjoyed watching the way she strained against the ropes and how the passion in her eyes grew just for him. She was giving him so much that he was determined to make this a night she would never forget.
Taking stock of himself, he was grateful no dark thoughts had hit yet. So far, so good.
He moved his lips down to her breasts to suckle and play with them next. They were full and easily filled his hands. It made him wonder what they’d looked like when they’d been filled with milk, and part of him wished he had the ability to give her another child. That destiny was not meant to be for them, but he could allow himself the simple pleasure of imagining it. He continued his path down her body until he’d touched and memorized every part of her.
Having her lay there before him, it was as if she was a canvas and his hands were the paint brush. He had no intention of leaving her exactly as he found her. She would be changed because the one thing he’d mastered over his long centuries was how to make himself the center of a woman’s world. For the next hour, he touched and fondled her without mercy. Cori grew so wet that she filled his mouth when he drank from her, and her orgasmic cries rent the air.
She called out his name. Bartol’s chest tightened and dark thoughts began to invade. Unaware of his dilemma, Cori mumbled words of how amazing she felt. His body shook with the effort to hold back the tidal wave of terrible images filling his head. He pulled away to grab a cloth, and with apology in his gaze, gingerly slipped it over her mouth. She accepted it without complaint. It took several minutes after that to get himself under control and resume touching her. He had to take things more slowly at first, but his previous confidence steadily returned as he brought Cori’s body to new heights of pleasure once more. It saddened him that he’d once used words to seduce and enjoyed talk during sex play, but now it only brought him pain.
Eventually, the moment came when he couldn’t wait any longer and feared spilling his seed before he’d had the chance to enter her body. He was amazed he’d held on as long as he did, but he’d feared if he didn’t make himself completely comfortable with Cori, then he wouldn’t have been able to handle the most important part.
He moved to the side of the bed and dropped his pants, stepping out of them. Cori’s gaze fell to the thick member between his legs, and her eyes widened. Nephilim were not built small in any way. Bartol worried she might become too scared to take him, but then she widened her thighs as far as they could go. It was her way of giving him final permission. Still, he felt guilty about keeping her mouth bound when it removed her ability to communicate if necessary.
Bartol dropped the gag to around her neck. “Do not speak unless you need me to stop, understand?”
She nodded.
Then he covered his lips with hers, pleased when she kissed him back with the same intensity. With her mouth, she told him what she couldn’t say with words. He felt how much she wanted him with every graze of her lips and brush of her tongue. This woman might be mortal and weaker than him physically, but she had the power to completely overwhelm him. He could think of nothing except her and the welcome body she provided.
Bartol pressed between her thighs, angling his member toward her entrance. Cori was more than wet enough to handle him, but he still moved into her carefully—one slow, agonizing inch at a time. She moaned, lifting her hips for easier access. He drove in all the way until their bodies were locked and then he froze.
The memories crashed over him.
Monstrous women with horns and distorted faces laughed as they cut and burned him in every manner possible. They took pleasure in his cries of pain. All they wanted was to make him suffer and beg for mercy they would never give. Bartol clenched his eyes shut. This couldn’t be happening now, not now!
The real woman underneath him moved. “Look at me.”
“I can’t,” he said, voice pained.
“It’s me, not them.” Cori lifted enough to graze her lips against his jaw. “I would never hurt you.”
He shook as the memories continued unabated. He was inside of her, but he couldn’t see anything except the visions Kerbasi had skillfully created. Bartol felt the sting of whip lashes, the sharp pains from spears being pierced into his body, and the tongues dripping acid that licked their way across his most intimate parts. He shuddered and shook, trapped in the nightmare.
Cori whispered soothingly to him. He tried to concentrate on her voice and follow it, but it wasn’t easy. Bartol had never had an anchor before and didn’t know how to use it. He gave it all he had, though, and bit by bit, the visions started to fade.
“That’s it, sweetheart. Come back to me,” Cori called to him.
Bartol opened his eyes. She was still there, helpless and bound underneath him, yet unafraid. Who was this woman that she could have the patience to wait out one of his terrors and even draw him back? She should have been screaming for him to free her.
But she wasn’t.
Instead, she gave him a seductive look. “Don’t stop.”
“Are you certain?” he asked, surprised she didn’t want to give up.
“This isn’t over until you finish.”
His member jerked inside of her, having somehow stayed hard despite everything. “What if I lose it again?”
She held a promise in her eyes. “Then I’ll call you back like I did just now.”
Bartol found himself moving inside of her without any more encouragement. Deep and steady, he thrust again and again. She was like an oasis in a desert. He found respite in her body when he’d thought there was no safe place for him. His breathing intensified, matching Cori’s. They were one in a way he’d never felt before. He leaned down and pushed as deep as he could go, grinding into her until she screamed her release. Bartol followed her into that pleasure-filled place, and stars filled the backs of his eyes.
The climax didn’t end quickly like he’d expected and kept going until he thought he’d become trapped in it. Then something happened. Fangs slid from the top of his gums, and he felt a driving desire to bite her. He needed the world to know Cori was his and his alone.
Bartol was in a primal state of mind, unable to reason or come to any rational thought. He drove his head toward her shoulder and bit into it. Cori screamed, and her inner muscles convulsed around him in a second orgasm. Their thoughts and feelings suddenly became one, and there were no secrets between them. A tidal wave of information he couldn’t begin to process flooded into him. He experienced the joy of Cori giving birth to her daughter, and the pain of the little girl’s death. She experienced the agony from his many years of torture. Still, the orgasm continued, driving him to clench his fangs even harder and steal a taste of Cori’s blood. Only after his thirst was satisfied could he let go.
He pulled away, drawing in heaving breaths. “That was…not quite…how I intended it to go.”
“You…” The passion in her hazel eyes faded to be replaced by anger. “You bit me!”
Bartol swallowed, guilt flooding him. “I hadn’t meant to do it. I…”
“You grew fangs, bit me, and somehow got into my head. I didn’t even know nephilim had fangs or that you could mind meld like that!” She was growing more irate by the second.
“We usually can’t. The only exception is when we…” Bartol trailed off, at a loss for words. There was only one possible explanation he knew of for why he’d bitten her, but it didn’t make sense. She was human. Nephilim usually didn’t permanently mate with humans for the obvious reason that they were mortal.
“Untie me,” Cori demanded, straining at the ropes.
He did as she requested, using his increased speed to finish the job quickly. As soon as she was free, she leaped off the bed. Cori was going to run without even giving him a chance to explain. Bartol flashed over and grabbed her, wrapping his arms around her. She struggled, and they both stumbled back to the bed. She hit and kicked him for several moments, angrier than he’d ever seen her. It was all he could do to ride it out.
“You fucking bit me, and you took my memories and made me live yours.” She punched him in the chest. “How could you do that to me when you promised you wouldn’t hurt me?”
“It was not my intention to mark you as my mate,” he said.
She stopped fighting and narrowed her gaze at him. “You did what?”
“It was not something I could control.” He tried rubbing her back in a soothing manner, but she shrugged his hand away.
“Wait.” Cori pushed herself into a sitting position. “Are you talking about mating like Lucas and Melena did? Like how every supernatural who gets near Mel knows exactly which man she belongs to because of that mark?”
It appeared she had heard of it. “Yes, that would be the same.”
“You asshole!” she screamed.
Once again, he had to grab hold of her because he could not let her go without at least talking it out. “It was no more voluntary for me to bite you than it was for you to accept it.”
“I didn’t accept anything.”
“Yes, you did,” he argued. “The mark will not work if somewhere deep down you don’t want me just as much.”
She took a few deep breaths before meeting his gaze. “Are you saying we were somehow destined to be together?”
“It doesn’t have anything to do with destiny or fate. No one knows why, but some nephilim, and occasionally vampires, are able to identify their true mates after getting to know them for a while.” He thought back on all he’d heard about the process. “It isn’t a love at first sight sort of thing, but rather after a strong bond has been formed between two people.”
“I’m human,” she said in a flat tone. “I will die and then what?”
He worked his jaw. “I don’t know.”
She was certainly still mortal now just as he’d heard Melena was when Lucas marked her. The bite didn’t change that. The couple eventually found a way around it, but that process had killed every human it was ever attempted on. They believed the only reason it had worked with Melena was because she was a sensor. Cori didn’t have the same advantage, and now they knew she couldn’t become a vampire, either. Bartol didn’t know what to do. He’d inadvertently mated himself to this mortal woman, but that didn’t mean either of them were prepared for the long-term consequences.
“I need time to think about this,” Cori said, pulling away.
Bartol let his hands drop from her, amazed at how difficult it was to let her go. Touching Cori wasn’t affecting him negatively at all right now, though he had no idea if it would last. He didn’t feel cured. More like his shock over the mating and his concern for Cori took precedence over his trauma.
“I will go sleep in the living room.”
“No.” Cori shook her head. “I can’t…I can’t stay in here. Let me take the couch.”
He didn’t like it. Perhaps he had been a bit of a womanizer in his time, but he’d always given deference to females. He wanted even more for his mate. “Are you certain?”
She nodded emphatically. “Yes.”
“Very well, but if you need anything, you will come tell me?”
“Fine,” she said.
He watched her go, wishing he could have held her a little longer.