Chapter Seven
What the fuck?
His wolf was happy.
So, why wasn’t he? Why was he lying here aching for more? She was in his hold, so damn close he could feel every breath, every beat, every shudder. He could smell her soap and shampoo, her skin, the faint tang of blood, the scent of her arousal…for him.
She wasn’t asleep any more than he was. She’d been through hell today. From the slight tremor in her hands as she’d fed Oscar, he knew she was barely holding it together. He’d wanted to offer her comfort—instead he’d put them in a precarious position. The last thing she needed was him coming on to her. Still, he wanted her. She wanted him. He was hard and throbbing, needing her.
But acting on it had permanent consequences.
His wolf wanted her as his mate—an unbreakable bond. A bond that would ensure Jessa never had a normal life again.
He lay there, taking slow, deep breaths, willing his heart to slow down. She dropped into an uneasy sleep, her body going limp and pliable in his arms. His brain wouldn’t shut off. He’d worried about Oscar, but she’d keep him safe. And that scared the shit out of him. The woman in his arms had no idea how important she’d become to him. He turned, pressing his nose along the curve of her jaw and the soft skin along her neck. She could have been killed. He could not lose her.
It was a long night. Nightmares kept her from a deep sleep. Every whimper or twitch had him whispering reassurances in her ear. He rolled onto his back and pulled her close, trying not to react to the feel of her hand on his bare abdomen, or the exquisite torture of her breath on his chest. He buried his nose in her hair and forced himself to relax. He’d be no good to either of them if he didn’t get some sleep.
When he woke up, Jessa was changing Oscar on the other bed. She was speaking softly, her smile so sweet he ached.
Oscar’s long leg kicked out, catching Finn’s attention. A little hand popped up—his son stretching and wriggling. Finn sat up, watching with curiosity. So, small. So, perfect.
He stood, and smiled as the baby’s eyes tried to focus on him.
Finn chuckled.
“Breakfast,” Jessa said, offering him the bottle.
She was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. Her long blond hair fell over one shoulder. Her huge green eyes were shadowed but bright. She smiled at him, offering him the bottle.
Reaching out, he took it.
Her smile grew.
I’d do anything to see that smile again.
Whipped? Yep. And I don’t care. That should have scared the hell out of him, too, but it didn’t.
She pointed at the chair in the corner and then placed his son in his arms. At first, he wasn’t sure what to expect. Then something inside of him shifted. Protectiveness, yes, but more gentle. A certainty and rightness that seemed to center him.
She grinned at him again, saying, “He’s a champion eater.”
After a large bottle and two burps, Finn had the pleasure of studying his son. He took the time to note each dimple, ten toes, ten fingers, light eyes—like his own—and a strong grip. As Oscar drifted into a happy sleep, Finn accepted that something fundamental had changed.
He—and his wolf—felt purpose. He had every reason in the world to keep going, right here in this room. He’d never choose this life, but it no longer made sense to fight who and what he was.
Not with the Others tracking them.
Hollis said they were still sniffing around the Hill Country. Dante and Anders agreed. For now, they had an advantage. One they’d need. They had a long way to go today.
He stood, carried Oscar to the bed, and pressed a kiss on his soft cheek. “Sleep on,” he whispered, placing him on the bed. “I will protect you, no matter what.”
Jessa was combing through her hair with her fingers. He saw her wince and moved to her, lifting her hair aside to see the gash Thomas had left. His anger, the wolf’s anger, rose instantly. “Hurt?”
She shrugged. “Only when I touch it.” She turned, looking up at him.
“Did you get any sleep?” he asked.
She nodded. “Thank you for…that.”
“For what?” For doing what he wanted?
“For keeping me safe,” she finished.
“You are safe.” He drew in a deep breath. “What you did for Oscar, protecting him—”
“I had to,” she said softly.
“You had to put yourself in harm’s way to protect my son?” He shook his head. “You’re an amazing woman, Jessa. I can never, ever, repay you or thank you enough for what you’ve done for me.” His throat grew tight, it was all he could manage.
Her cheeks colored, the slight hitch of her breath intriguing him. “I know he’s not mine, but I love Oscar as if he were.” Her voice was a whisper. “You don’t need a nanny. You have me. No matter how scared I am, leaving him would kill me.”
“Don’t leave. Stay with him. Stay with me.” He tilted her chin back. “Please. I will keep you safe.”
She swallowed, her green eyes holding his. “With you, nothing’s safe.”
“I would never hurt you, Jessa. You protected my son with your life, risked everything for him—for us.” He ground the words out, the pain of her doubt all but crippling. “You know what I am. My wolf and I will make sure nothing like this ever happens again. You are family now. My family. Do you believe me?”
Her eyes widened, but then she leaned into his hand, her nod slight.
His resistance almost crumbled. He ached to tug her close and kiss her lips. His wolf paced, craving a bond with her. His thumb traced the edge of her lower lip before he could stop himself. It was a mistake, an-oh-so-sweet mistake.
He stepped away from her, his control on the brink. He didn’t want to leave her, but staying here was too great a temptation for his wolf. He slipped into his jeans and stepped into his boots, tugging on his white undershirt as he opened the door. “Getting breakfast,” he said before he left the room.
…
She pulled on the jersey dress and frowned. Mr. Brown had already thrown away their old clothes, including her bra. Every trace of their route had to be destroyed, wiped out, to keep the Others off their tracks. Jessa understood, but now she had no bra and an indecently tight dress to wear. There was nothing she could do about it. According to Mr. Brown, they were leaving in five minutes.
She braided her hair loosely, brushed her teeth, and hurried back into the hotel bedroom. Oscar was wriggling and content on the bed, in a clean diaper and thick gown—since it was colder where they were going.
She smiled down at him. “You look happy.”
The door opened to reveal Finn and Mr. Brown, both of whom immediately noticed her lack of bra. Great. She picked up Oscar, using him as a shield of sorts. “We’re ready.”
“Good.” Finn’s eyes narrowed. “Let’s go.”
They took the back way out, stairwells and parking garages, none of them talking until they were inside a truck. Oscar’s seat was strapped in the middle, so she buckled him in. A motorcycle was strapped into the back of the truck, something she hadn’t expected. No room for a car seat there, she grinned. But then, Finn was known for liking fast things.
When he climbed into the truck, her stomach tightened. Should she bring up this morning? He’d wanted to kiss her, so why hadn’t he? She wouldn’t have resisted. She would have held on—tight. Because damn it all, she loved him.
Instead of saying anything, she just sat in silence.
“Breakfast,” he said, offering her a brown paper bag.
She took it. “Thank you.”
He didn’t say much as they navigated out of the city and onto a stretch of endless highway. She didn’t know if it was her imagination, but the tension between them seemed to grow with each passing mile.
She finally broke the silence. “Can I ask a question?”
“Yes.” His blue eyes glanced her way.
“What about Thomas’s family? Will he just disappear? Is that what happens?”
“Yes.”
“I’m guessing there’s more like Thomas? Because of Cyrus?” she asked.
He nodded.
“Why do they hate you?”
His hands tightened on the steering wheel. “The bone that infected me was important—something they want. Hollis says it was probably one of their ancestors, possibly the same bloodline, but ancient. Which makes me and those I’ve turned more powerful than they are.”
“He wants you because you’re a threat. You challenge his role?”
He nodded.
“I’m guessing the whole territorial wolf thing prevents sharing and playing nice?”
He laughed. “Yes.”
She loved that sound. And that smile. It made her heart happy. He made her heart happy. She swallowed.
“He might not want to kill me, but there’s no doubt he wants to control me. A wolf is unfailingly loyal to his offspring. And his mate.” He glanced at her, his hands clenching the steering wheel again.
Did he miss Cara? Their relationship had brought Oscar into the world. “I’m sorry about Oscar’s mother. Was she… a wolf?”
“No. She had no idea what I was.” He shook his head.
Jessa saw the sadness on his face. “You miss her?”
“Cara wasn’t my mate. Sex isn’t the same thing. She and I had a good time, nothing more.” He looked at her. “A wolf only has one mate in his or her life. And once they find it, there is no one else.”
Which meant he only had one thing at stake. “You have to protect Oscar. How do we do that?” she asked.
He ran a hand through his hair. “Stop fighting my wolf.”
She turned in her seat. “You fight your… wolf?”
“Sometimes more than others.” His grin was hard.
“Over what?” she asked.
His brows rose. “Domination. I’m an alpha, a leader. Sometimes the wolf needs to prove that.”
She had a vague idea what that meant. His run-in with Thomas was etched into her memory. “But you said Cyrus doesn’t want to kill you.”
“If the blood that runs in my veins is linked to his ancestors, then killing me might kill him.”
“Oh,” she sat back, digesting this.
“It’s Hollis’s theory. One I’ve never had to test.”
She looked at Oscar, sleeping peacefully in his seat. “My brothers?”
“Are safe,” he answered immediately. “Under constant guard.”
“By werewolves?” she asked.
“No. None of my pack has turned anyone, Jessa. We don’t look at this as a good thing. My pack—there’s five of us—check in occasionally, but we know being together for too long tends to stir recognition. I talk to Hollis more often, for obvious reasons. He’s our science guy—my answer man. He thinks it’s an infection he can cure. Until then, we agreed: no children, no mates, no complications.”
She stared at him. “Are you serious? So you’re all supposed to suffer alone?”
He looked at her. “Versus pretending to live normal lives? Risk hurting people we care about, or infecting them? Hell, yes.”
“No one should be alone,” she said. “You have Oscar now.”
“We don’t know how this will affect him, Jessa. He’s so small—” He broke off then, clearing his throat and sucking in a deep breath. “The change, turning, might kill him.”
“Finn.” But words stuck in her throat. Oscar was at risk? Whatever fear she’d felt before couldn’t compare to what she felt now. This time she couldn’t save him. “When will we know?”
“Four nights,” Finn growled. “Then I’ll go looking for Cyrus.”
His words ended her need for conversation. But now the darkening sky seemed more threatening than Cyrus. There was nothing either of them could do to stop the moon.