KARIS

I remembered Finean impaling me, followed by a bitter taste blanketing my tongue and my throat going dry. Suddenly Loftin and Iric were there, and then came the darkness. I wasn’t afraid. I’d dwelt in the darkness most of my life. I just didn’t know where I was or what had happened.

And I desperately wanted to get back to them.

The darkness swirled like a warm wind around me…and then he appeared.

“Daughter.”

“Who are you?”

“Devane, King of the Court of Shadows.”

“Are you my father?”

“I am.” His hair, skin, and clothing were all the stuff of midnight and shadow. He was beautiful. The wind around him kicked up, blowing our clothing and hair. I looked down to see I was wearing the feathered dress I’d glamoured onto myself to look like Nemain.

“Am I dead?”

He smiled. Something stirred within me, like part of me recognized its maker. “You haven’t died yet. You’re in the between; neither dead nor alive.”

“Is this the Underworld?”

He shook his head. “No, child.”

“Can I go back? I don’t want to die yet,” I pleaded.

With a wave of his hand, the dark shadows left us. We were sitting in the throne room of the Court of Ash. There were fae everywhere, forming a great line that twisted around the room, leading out the main doors.

“What’s happening?”

He smiled and took my hand. “They are paying tribute to your sacrifice. You saved them all.”

We walked through them, some of the fae shuddering as we passed through their bodies, to the front of the room where a large slab lay, covered in fine furs. I lay on top of them, pale as death.

Loftin stood back a few feet, watching but not interfering, and next to him was Iric. He looked well. He was clean, and someone had gotten him new clothes. Remembering the strip of skin and muscle peeled from his leg and the way the flesh around it looked angry and red made me want to tear every piece of flesh off my mother in retribution.

“You’ve been watching over me,” I marveled. “I remember you. Over the years, you were there. In this castle, and then when Finean took me away, you were always there in the darkness. It’s why I wasn’t afraid. I knew you were with me.”

Devane inclined his head. “I stayed with you, but when I couldn’t be, during the times I had to be away, the dead watched over you. I have little power over the living, but the dead obey. It’s why you first saw the Shades when your glamour began to fade. I asked them to give you a message from me as well. You’ve concealed your heart,” he said proudly.

“I did, but why didn’t you just tell me to remove it? Are you the reason I was able to do that?”

He nodded. “Some things we have to learn on our own. If I told you what you were capable of and then sent you to Nemain, would you have known what to do with the knowledge? Or did you grow in power because you used it to survive?”

He pointed toward Iric, and behind him, two shadows appeared. Gregoire and Roane, I assumed. They resembled Iric closely, considering they likely all had different fathers.

“His brothers,” I said wonderingly. “They’ve been protecting him through Faery, haven’t they?”

Devane inclined his head.

Thank goodness for that.

“Shades can manifest, as you’ve seen. But they can also cloak a human. They can’t drag a human to the Underworld, as you’ve been told. That’s just silly superstition.”

It didn’t seem silly at the time, and I was pretty sure Loftin really did believe it. He looked terrified when I told him they were around us in the Spring Forest.

“How could you have been with her?” I asked, disgusted.

Devane turned to me. “I knew Nemain long before she… lost her mind.”

“Was that what happened to her?”

“In a manner of speaking. Greed and paranoia can drive a person mad. So can self-righteousness.”

“Can you send me back?” I was glad to have met him, but desperately needed to return to my body. I wanted to feel Loftin’s arms wrapped around me, and hug my brother and take him home like I promised I would. I still wanted to see these things through.

“Alas, I can’t,” he refuted. “They have to figure out the antidote to the poison. I can prevent death from claiming you, but I can’t send your soul back. One of them has to do it.”

“How?”

He smiled. “With the same thing that forced you into this journey, and the same thing you found along the way with Loftin. Your heart is safe, I see.” He glanced from Loftin to me. “Only love can restore your soul, Karis. But one has to be willing to give everything to restore you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

* * *

LOFTIN

For two days, the surviving Seelie fae arrived in a slow procession to see the one who finally freed them. The ash inside and out on the grounds had disintegrated. According to Alistair, the spell killing this land and everything in it lifted when Karis shattered her mother.

The rulers of the Seasonal Courts were already restoring their regions, per the chatter of the fae winding through the room. Karis needed to see this. She needed to see how she saved us all.

I hadn’t left her side, and I questioned every single fae who stopped to see her. With that, I gleaned two things. One, that the poisonous tree only grew in the courtyard of the palace in the Court of Reflections, planted by Finean himself; and two, that no one knew the antidote but Finean, who’d taken it to the grave with him.

A tear slid from the corner of her eye into her hair, leaving a glistening trail behind. Iric saw it. “What does that mean?” he asked shakily.

“It means she’s still in there. It means we don’t give up.”

“There has to be someone who knows what to do.”

The Queen of Spring and the Kings of Summer and Winter came today. They wanted to see Nemain’s daughter, and didn’t seem too upset to find her trapped in a deep sleep. Karis was a threat to them. I could see it in the way they assessed her, cold and calculating. If they knew how to help bring her back, they weren’t telling.

My father was the only one of the four rulers who hadn’t shown up, and he wouldn’t risk coming here. The other rulers would attempt to slay him for his betrayal. For now, they would let him hide and find him when he least expected it.

I didn’t think he knew of a cure for the poison, anyway. As a child, he told me stories of the fruit to keep me from accidentally biting into one of them. He never mentioned a cure, only that death came from those who ate from the tree.

Alistair was across the room, lurking in the corner. Since returning, he hadn’t let Karis out of his sight—an order, he explained. There was only one who could order the King of the Leancan around, and if he knew the cure, I was confident he would have given it to the vampire.

She cried. That meant her soul was still in there. She’d been wise to hide her heart within me. If she hadn’t given it to me to protect, Finean would’ve killed her. I’d always known Finean was dangerous, that he craved power, but I never imagined he would attack her.

That fateful scene wouldn’t stop replaying in my mind; the crunch of her bone, the sound of her gasp, and him… the look of horror on his face when he realized he’d die alongside her. After, Alistair dragged his body away. I didn’t have to ask what he’d done with it. When he returned with blood trickling from his lips, I knew, and good riddance. If the poison hadn’t killed Finean, I would have.

Pressing my eyes closed, I wondered what the Washer Woman had told her. Did she foretell this? Did Karis know what would happen to her all along? Did she know what she’d have to endure to execute her mother, or what it would cost in the end?

I told Iric I would be back and strode across the room to Alistair. “I know someone who might be able to help her, or guide us so we can,” I said impulsively.

“Who?”

“The Washer.”

His brows rose. “She’ll be hard to track down.”

“I have to try. We never told you, but earlier in our journey, she came to Karis. Maybe she’ll come to me, if I plead on her behalf.”

Alistair glanced knowingly at my chest. Although I hadn’t told anyone that I held her heart, he somehow knew. He nodded. “There’s a river to the west. I will guard her until you return.” He strolled to the dais and stood beside Iric, who swallowed thickly as the Leancan grinned in his direction, eye-balling his throat.

I jogged from the room, down the steps, and made my way out of the castle. The line of fae was finally dwindling, and the sun was beginning its descent toward the west. I ran through the freshly fallen snow until I came to the river. It was as wide as three palaces, and its current was wickedly strong. Skirting the bank, I found the perfect spot and knelt by the riverside.

Closing my eyes, I pictured her, or what I imagined she looked like based on the tales I’d heard. Old and wise, wrinkled but kind, with white hair, kneeling beside me with her washboard and basin.

When she didn’t appear, I called out to her. For hours I cried out, hoping she would come. By the time the sun sank behind a nearby hill, my voice was raw. When darkness fell and the stars winked above me, I was still begging for her. “Washer,” I rasped. “I am desperate. I beg you to come. Karis needs your help.”

At this last, tearful mention of her name, a woman appeared beside me, unlike anything I imagined. With hair dark as the night sky and flawless skin, she appeared to be younger than I was. Her pale arms and dress were smudged with dark stains.

“Do you wish to help her?” she challenged, a dark tear rolling down her cheek.

I watched as it slowly dropped from her jaw and into the water in her basin.

“I want nothing more,” I responded fervently. “No one knows what to do. She’s in a deep sleep, and nothing has roused her. We’ve tried water and every antidote known to the fae. The Seasonal Court rulers say they don’t know. I was hoping you might know what to do.”

She gave me a watery smile. “You hold her heart.”

“I do.” My voice broke.

“You love her very much.”

“I do.” I swiped a tear from my eye, followed by another, and inhaled a shuddering breath.

“Then show her,” the Washer commanded, “and all will be restored.”

Before I could ask her how, she was gone.

I swallowed the knot in my throat and pushed to my feet, retracing my steps. The castle was empty except for Alistair, Iric, and her. They didn’t question me when I asked them to give me a few minutes alone with her.

Alistair gave me a long, searching look, but Iric didn’t question me. He knew I loved her. He witnessed it.

When they left the room, I sat beside her, caressing her short hair. I knew how much the shorn locks bothered her, but it was beautiful. She was beautiful. “I miss you,” I finally whispered, deciding to take the Washer’s advice and tell her how I felt. “I don’t know if you’re in there, or if you can hear me, but I need you. I need you to come back to me. Your heart beats in my chest, but seeing you lying there… it feels like mine’s been torn out and turned to ash, or worse. I can’t live without you, Karis. Not now that I know what it’s like to love. I love you. I love you so much it hurts, and I should have told you before we left the Spring Court. I should’ve told you a thousand times between when you took my hand and left your home behind, and when you gave me your heart. And now,” my voice wobbled, “I’m trusting you to give mine back. I want you to wake up and take yours, and I want to hold you and never let you go again.”

As another tear tumbled from her eye, I brushed it tenderly, spreading the moisture over her skin, and then lowered my lips to hers to press a soft kiss onto them. At once, a cloud of black swirled over my vision and I pulled away, gasping for air.

For a moment, it felt like I was dying, like my soul was being sucked away. Closing my eyes, I defiantly kissed her again. If this was the way to bring her back, if I had to give up my life so she could live, I would gladly do it. Something dark pulled at me, powerful and absolute, and I gave into it. But before I was completely gone, it let me go.

“No,” I panted, my vision returning. “Don’t let me go, Karis. Please come back to me,” I softly cried. I kissed her again, but didn’t feel the same sensation. Nothing happened.

She was so still.

My heart hurt. It hurt so much.

My tears splashed onto her face. I gently picked her up and wrapped her in my arms, rocking as I held her and crying when she didn’t wake.

“Please don’t be gone. Take me with you,” I pleaded.

I gasped when her heart began to pound in my chest. Her eyelashes fluttered, and then those pale gray eyes locked onto mine. The sharpness of those eyes cut me.

“Who are you?” she rasped.

My sobs turned into laughs, and I didn’t know what else to do but squeeze her. “You’re okay.”

“If you don’t explain why I’m in your arms, I’ll obliterate you,” she warned.

“Your heart is in my chest. Take it, and it’ll tell you everything you need to know.”

* * *

KARIS

He pulled his tunic over his head and removed his shirt. As I unlaced the ridiculous feathered dress and let the feathers and fabric pool around my feet, he watched my every move. I wasn’t sure I liked the way he looked at me, but I wasn’t sure I disliked it, either. He barely winced as I took my heart from his chest and placed it back in mine.

It felt foreign and strange in my body. Its strong beat reverberated through my veins and bones, reminding me that I’d come out of the darkness. Glamouring myself into a tunic, pants, and soft, perfectly fitted boots, I dressed again, listening to my heartbeat.

My heart thumped to the pattern of one word: Loftin. He led me back into the light.

His smile lit up the room when I whispered his name.

“You’re back!” he cried. “You’re really back.” His lips crashed onto mine, and his arms held me tight against him.

“Where’s Nemain?” I asked, unable to remember how I’d arrived at the palace. I remembered meeting my father, and then the memory of Loftin’s love for me. It was the only thing that could’ve brought me back from the In-Between.

His mouth went slack. “You don’t remember?”

I pinched my eyes closed. “I remember a knife and pain.”

“That was Finean. You trapped Nemain in the mirror, and then shattered her and turned the shards to ash.”

Damn, that’s cold. “And then Finean attacked me…?”

The memories were hazy, but I could recall the handle of a blade sticking out of my chest. “Where is he now?”

“He’s dead.”

“Good,” I breathed. I didn’t want to see him ever again. I pulled away, sniffing the air.

“Iric’s fine. Alistair is here with him.”

“That doesn’t exactly give me the warm fuzzies.” I regarded him for a long moment.

“What?” he asked, uncomfortable.

“You love me,” I answered with a smile.

He grinned. “You’re awfully smug about that.”

“Yes, I am,” I teased, kissing his lips. “I love you, too.”

“You shouldn’t have kissed me. It could’ve killed you, Loftin.” Not that my father was very specific in any of his explanations. We’d have to work on our communication skills. “I felt it pulling you towards the In-Between. You could have died.”

“I don’t care,” he answered hastily. “I didn’t want to live without you.”

“I met my father,” I added. “My soul was there with him in the In-Between. We observed you here, and watched you at the river,” I explained. “I know what it took for you to go to her. It scared you when I saw the Washer before.”

“I would do anything for you, Karis. You have to know that by now.”

I nodded. “I do. I mean, you sort of tasted death and let me suck out a little of your life force when you kissed me, so… I guess I can ask you for a few more favors, right?”

He rolled his eyes dramatically. “I suppose.”

“Good.”

With a nod, I took off running to find Iric downstairs, Loftin easily keeping pace beside me. Iric’s wide eyes followed me across the room, and when I reached him he embraced me, taking care not to crush his injured body as we held each other. He rocked us back and forth, trying to hide the fact he was crying in my shoulder.

“I thought you were dead,” he sobbed. “They kept saying you were alive, but I couldn’t tell.”

“I’m here. I’m fine,” I tried to reassure him, but he was inconsolable. He pulled away after a few minutes and blinked his tears away, blowing out a shaky breath.

“Have they been good to you?” “I asked, pointedly staring at Alistair.

“Yeah, I’m good. But you’re… you’re a faery, K.”

“It’s crazy, but yeah.” I paused. “We need to get you home, Iric. The boys are probably terrified.”

He nodded, sniffling. “Yeah.”

The unspoken question stretched between us: Would I return with him?

“I also need to talk to Vivica,” I announced. As his eyes widened, I added, “I know, I know. I said I wasn’t going back there, but that was before you decided to act like a fool and run through Faery.”

“You know why I did it.”

“I know why you think you did it, but we’ve been lied to our whole lives. It’s time to fix those false beliefs.”

“Can you do that?” he asked incredulously.

“You haven’t seen the half of what she can do, Iric,” Loftin answered for me proudly. I couldn’t help but smile because it was true. And as wrong as Finean was about almost everything, he was right about one thing.

I would choose the light. I would right his wrongs, and choose to use my power for good.