Evie

Hilda huffed when I slammed her book shut and raced downstairs to answer the door. Today, the others returned to Seaton Prep. Meanwhile, I sat cooped up in Hilda’s study where the most success I had all day was making one of the rings glow a strange shade of green before giving myself the world’s worst migraine.

Needless to say, I couldn’t get to the door quickly enough, looking forward to hearing how Beth’s day had gone. Seeing as how mine wasn’t exactly exciting.

“Hey!”

She seemed surprised I was so happy to see her. Especially when I took her wrist and snatched her inside. Her attention was only on my odd behavior for a moment, though. As soon as she stepped foot in the foyer, her mouth fell open at the sight of this place.

An awestricken, “Wow, ” echoed in the wide-open space.

I closed and locked the door behind her.

“My sentiments exactly,” I replied, still not over the fact that this was, technically, my house. A dozen people could have easily lived comfortably in a place this size, which meant the five of us barely took up any space in it.

“So, how was it?” I asked, referring to her return to school.

She shrugged, and it wasn’t lost on me that she bore that ‘I could take it or leave it’ expression of hers.

“Mostly everyone I’m cool with was at Damascus, too, so that made for somewhat of a lackluster homecoming.” After speaking, she eased her backpack off her shoulders and placed a set of keys in the side pocket.

“I see somebody is back on four wheels,” I said with a smile.

“Parents didn’t have much of a choice, seeing as how Roz is still M.I.A. It was either give the car back or drive me around everywhere. And that wasn’t happening, so …”

She concluded with another shrug.

I’d been trying to steer clear of anything that might remind me of Nick these days—like now, as I acknowledged how Beth’s parents’ decision related to Roz, related to Nick. When I did think of him, it always resulted in anger and the urge to burst into flames again, letting my dragon spring forth. I fought the feeling even now.

“So, we wolfing out, or what?” Beth asked with a smile, glancing at the time on her phone. “We should start sooner rather than later so we have a chance to chill before training tonight.”

I’d hoped we would ease into this whole … wolf thing. To be honest, I wasn’t ready. I had no idea what it would feel like and I’d just gotten the hang of accepting my dragon … now this.

I faked a smile. “Sure.”

Before giving me a chance to back out, like I fully intended to as soon as I found the words, Beth grabbed my hand. She led me toward the back door, headed for the woods, I imagined.

“Have fun and keep the barking to a minimum. I’m trying to catch a nap.” Liam’s voice inside my head was a welcome surprise—lingering sarcasm and all.

“Ha-ha, funny guy. Don’t forget … I do bite,” I replied, traipsing behind Beth as we bounded through the kitchen on our way.

“I seem to recall you being the one who liked to be bitten, but I think I could get into it.” As usual, his words brought heat to my neck and face. With Beth so close, I could only hope there wasn’t redness to match.

“On that note, I’m out.” I tried not to grin as I forced him back into his own head space, thinking of lying beside him while he rested. Actually, I could think of a million things I’d rather be doing besides this. Yes, I wanted to see and hang out with Beth, but I would’ve preferred chatting over mugs of hot chocolate.

It’s true what Liam said, I did prefer my dragon form to my wolf. But both were me, half of the same whole.

“Ok, so I’m guessing that, by now, you know we can’t shift with our clothes on,” Beth announced, reminding me of yet another reason I hated this.

I gave a tense nod and she smiled.

“You’ll be warm,” she promised.

I hadn’t even thought about the eight inches of snow the storm dumped on us the other day. Being cold wasn’t an issue.

“We probably shouldn’t do this right near the house,” she laughed. “I don’t know about you, but the fewer people who see me naked today, the better.”

I agreed, and we ventured toward an old shed that looked like it’d been here since the beginning of time. Today, it sat empty with Liam’s truck parked in front of it. Out of view of anyone in the house who might be near a window, Beth gripped the lapel of her Seaton Prep blazer and I went for my shoes first. Soon, our clothes were in a heap, resting on a table we cleared of snow.

I breathed deep, watching it thicken in the frigid air. Using my arms and hands, I covered my important parts to make this … mmm … marginally less weird. Beth did the same. My skin was only dotted with goosebumps for a moment, because as soon as I was able to call my dragon forward, I used the technique Liam had shown me before flying to warm myself. My veins glowed orange and it was like standing in front of a fireplace.

“Okay, first things first. Today, let’s look at shifting as an incentive for not standing in front of your best friend naked, so the sooner we get this party started, the better,” she joked, dispelling some of the awkward energy that crept in when the last of our garments came off.

“Agreed.”

“Good. So, I’ll shift first, so you can see what the transformation is like, and then you give it a try.”

I nodded before holding my breath.

Here goes nothing …

Beth dropped to all fours and bursts of air puffed from her nostrils. At first it looked like she was simply resting there, but then … her spine thickened, and the notches of bone began to grow larger beneath her skin.

I stepped back at the sight of it.

At the sight of my friend morphing into a beast.

At the realization that … I was next.

She was always small to me—my own above average height making her seem even smaller. But now, her slight hands and feet grew as the shifting bone made them into something else altogether. Where there were once nails, there were now claws.

Another step back.

Joints twisted and turned, forcing her limbs out of place as she gritted through it all. I had to imagine it was painful, but she didn’t make a sound. Blondish-brown fur began to cover her and the small figure that I once observed on the ground was now a massive wolf that made me shudder. I’d seen Nick and his brothers as wolves, but hadn’t gotten the chance to watch them transition from men.

Her underbelly moved rapidly with each breath she took, and I had no words. Gleaming, yellow eyes stared back at me, and when she dipped her nose with a nod, I knew she was saying it was my turn.

I blinked at her, unsure of where to even start. I imagined it couldn’t have been much different from accessing my dragon, so I gave it a try.

Closing my eyes, I focused on the dormant primal side where I always found my dragon. Only, this time, I was looking for the wolf. I breathed deep, trying to sense her.

A few days ago, Hilda suggested part of the reason I felt inadequate was because I was inadequate. Essentially, she stated that I felt like I was only half of a whole because I kept the other half locked away. Thinking about it that night, I called Beth. She was the only wolf I trusted to help me, and I didn’t want to let either one of us down.

I searched the darkness, still only sensing my dragon. She was powerful. Perhaps so powerful she overshadowed the wolf. That’s when it dawned on me that, while accessing her abilities to keep warm, I may not be able to tap into my other abilities.

So … I had to let her retreat, feeling the cold pricking my skin like a thousand needles. It wouldn’t last long, only until I shifted.

Beth dipped her nose again, encouraging me, and then turned the other way for the sake of privacy when I dropped my hands, clenching them.

Where was she … the wolf?

A low, guttural growl surprised me at first. Until I realized where the sound came from … me. It vibrated energy through my entire body—every limb, my bones, my soul. I found her.

I pushed, bringing her out of hiding as I welcomed her in—the one thing she was waiting for.

At the first snap of my leg, I cried out as pain ripped through me, stealing my breath, my thoughts. I’d never felt anything like it. My dragon was still present despite being in the shadows now. She signaled to Liam and I felt the instant the pulse left my chest, reaching him within seconds. As soon as it did, he was there, inside my head, but silent. He couldn’t see through me, but he could listen. And right now, I was screaming out in agony when my shoulders shifted out of socket.

Hot tears slipped down my cheeks and I wanted it to stop, wanted it to all be over, but I knew I had to endure this. If I was ever going to feel complete … this hell was a part of the process.

I panted, feeling my insides move out of place, organs getting out of the way as my ribs expanded outward. I was brought to my knees and I barely even noticed the cold through the pain. My neck snapped and cracked as it lengthened and doubled in width. Dark fur cloaked my arms and my nose became snout-like. I could hardly hold a thought in my head. There was so much to take in—and not just the constant burning and aching. My senses, they were heightened in such a way that it overwhelmed me. The white of the snow blinded me now as my vision superseded anything I imagined possible. And the smells—everything had a scent all its own. Everything. It was like sensory overload.

Liam came in stronger now, but still said nothing. I focused on him, pushing everything else aside as my body turned into something else altogether. I thought of flying with him, being held tight to his chest while the world disappeared beneath us. For a second, I let it all go, everything but that moment we were weightless.

It became clear he’d come to me for this reason, to distract me. To calm me.

I’d given up trying to stand. I lie there in the snow, staring at the contrast of my black fur against the brilliant white covering the ground. I was exhausted and couldn’t quite get my bearings straight, couldn’t quite grasp the idea of being so much larger than just a moment ago. It was disorienting.

Slowly, Beth approached, her blondish fur quivering when a brisk breeze moved between us. She sniffed the air, the nostrils of her dark snout flaring. I lie there on my side feeling like I’d just gotten run over by a steamroller. Her paw nudged mine and she stared in such a way I guessed she was wondering if I planned to get up. If I’d been able to speak, I would’ve told her I wasn’t sure I could.

Liam was gone now, which meant my dragon had settled. As the seconds ticked past, the sharp jolts plaguing my extremities faded until they were gone. That’s when I lifted my head, blinking as I waited for my eyes to focus. Fuzzy light in the distance became sharp lines and I could see details so far away.

A rabbit. He was at least half a mile from us, but I could see his whiskers twitching from here.

Beth nudged me again and I sensed she was impatient with excitement. I pressed a paw into the snow and put weight on it, and then the other three. I was up on all fours and felt sturdier than expected. Beth gestured her head to the right and I guessed she wanted to go that way. I took a step toward her and she began to head east. How I knew it was east, I couldn’t explain. It was like some sort of internal compass. I didn’t have that as a dragon. The only thing similar to this sensation was what kept me aligned with Liam.

He was my soul’s due north.

Beth picked up speed, glancing back every so often to make sure I kept up. I did, following in her tracks. My lungs swelled with each breath, expanding so much more than usual, telling of their capacity. Despite my size, each movement was sleek, calculated, efficient.

Like a hunter.

Our brisk run turned into a full-on sprint. Trees whizzed past and there was no fear of collision, because I saw every obstacle miles before we came to it. I felt … untouchable.

Beth glanced back again and I was right on her heels. She ran faster and so did I, topping out at a speed of what I guessed to be around sixty to seventy miles per hour, slightly faster than in dragon form. However, the ability to fly made up for the discrepancy.

As we ran, there was a pivotal moment where I identified with this side of myself, accepted I was as much this being as I was a dragon, and I embraced it. Acknowledging that I was more brought my sense of self into alignment and I had to wonder if Hilda had been right.

Before finding out I was a supernatural, a huge hole hollowed out my soul. Embracing my dragon filled it in, as did opening up to Liam. Slowly, but surely, I was finding myself. And now, the void inside me was disappearing.

Hilda may have had a less than stellar way of conveying her thoughts, but I appreciated it. She was honest with me in ways others weren’t. She didn’t treat me like a child and had never once tiptoed around my feelings. If she had, I wouldn’t have made so much progress. No, I still couldn’t cast a spell to save my life, but I was getting to know the true Evangeline.

And that was, quite possibly, the most important thing of all.

Beth veered right and I knew she was circling back. I could have, honestly, run forever, but knew we needed to get prepared for tonight’s training. It’d be more of what we learned at the facility, but the stakes were higher. We were, essentially, unprotected as a clan and the race to prepare for the future was even more pressing.

That old, rickety shed on the edge of our property came into view. It was only now that I realized how far we traveled so quickly. We slowed and I felt my heart race inside my chest when the rush of adrenaline began to dissipate. Beth huffed for a second and I would have smiled at her if I’d been able. She’d just done me a huge favor, introducing me to my wolf.

I gathered my clothes in my teeth and went around to dress beside Liam’s truck, giving Beth privacy, something that hadn’t been an option when we shifted. I dropped my things in the snow and panted while trying to figure out how to change back. You’d think it would have been simple, but …

Breathe.

Focus on the wolf.

Make her submit.

Slowly, I felt my bones shifting back into place. Still painful, but nothing like when I turned. Finally, I was me again. Naked, cold, me.

I reached for my shirt and stood upright. When I did, my dragon stepped forward and my veins glowed to bring me heat. Her return also brought with it a stronger sense of Liam, prompting me to look up, barely able to see above the hood of the truck. However, my view of the house was clear enough to see I had an audience of one.

“Is this payback for when I wandered inside your head after your shower?”

I laughed, remembering that night. It was one I thought of often, no matter how hard I tried to forget. It was several months ago, around the time I finally accepted that Liam wasn’t just a figment of my imagination. Still, despite how much time had passed, the visual of him standing in that mirror … before he had a chance to dress … it was seared in my brain.

Every.

Single.

Detail.

Warmth spread through me at the thought of it, but this had nothing to do with my dragon. It was all because of Liam.

“If it makes you feel better, I can’t see lower than your shoulders,” he promised with a slick grin, sipping from a bottle of water.

I stared at him through the pristine glass, knowing his inability to see more of me hadn’t been for lack of trying. It was my understanding that, once, we were wild together—all heat and passion. All the time. I couldn’t imagine it’d been easy for him to suppress that now. In fact, little by little, it’d become more difficult to contain.

For him.

For me.

It was mostly lingering glances saturated with need, but he’d gotten bolder with his words, the thoughts he let me hear.

Whenever I imagined being with him in that way, it always made me mindful of the symbol of our union—the bracelet that signified we were mated centuries ago and, technically, still were. Taking my jeans from the snow, I slid the bracelet from the pocket and back onto my wrist. Our commitment was one Liam upheld even after my death, long before he had any hope I’d return.

His loyalty was something I didn’t, and probably never would, understand.

“So, how was it?” he asked.

Shrugging before slipping my feet into my shoes, I answered, “Different. Shifting sucked, but the rest was pretty cool.”

“Good. We’ll talk when you get inside.”

He dismissed himself quickly, which was strange. Or at least it seemed strange before I noticed Elise had approached him. Her expression was dim, which meant it was likely something else had gone wrong.

The usual.

Behind me, snow crunched beneath Beth’s boots as she came close. I tore my eyes away from Liam and Elise conversing and focused on Beth. Well, I tried to anyway.

“You survived,” she grinned. “How do you feel?”

“A little sore, but I think I’m okay.” I rubbed a tender spot on my shoulder, vividly recalling the way it shifted out of place. Chances were, it wouldn’t hurt long with the rate at which we healed.

“It won’t always be like this. First time’s the worst. And I hear, eventually, the pain disappears altogether.”

Thank God for that.

Curiosity got the best of me and I glanced up toward the window again, noting the tension in Liam’s brow. Tension that hadn’t been there a moment ago. And now Dallas was standing with them, too.

“Everything okay?” Beth asked. She must’ve read my expression.

I met her gaze again and faked a smile, but when she didn’t smile back, I knew she wasn’t buying it. I stopped pretending.

“I think something’s going on,” I confessed. “Whenever they have these little powwows without me, it’s usually because things have gone to crap and they’re trying to figure out how to shield me from it.”

We walked toward the house, making slow strides up the porch steps.

“That’s not the worst thing in the world,” she replied, but didn’t understand what it was like being tiptoed around all the time, treated like a child when you definitely weren’t one.

I shrugged, but didn’t share my thoughts aloud.

We were quiet a moment and it seemed the woods became quiet, too.

“You think it’s got something to do with Nick?”

This time, a long breath puffed from my lips. “Could be that,” I replied. “Could be anything.”

Which was true. Any number of things could have gone wrong.

“Have you … heard from him?” There was a smidge of hesitation when she asked.

Beth was well aware of the bad blood between Nick and I. When I brought her up to speed, I brought her up to speed on everything. Not leaving out a single detail because, next to Liam, I trusted her most of all.

“No. I think he knows better than to call me. We have nothing to say to each other.”

My chest clenched tight and I hated the ball of mixed emotions I carried for him. The romantic ones had completely faded, but I still cared. Not to mention, a small part of me still mourned the friendship I believed we could have had if the chips weren’t stacked so high against us. Once, I believed a kind heart beat within him. Now, after he so willingly sacrificed Liam, after he recklessly called on the witches without thinking of who else it could affect, who else it could hurt … I only saw him as cold.

Liam hated him, yes, but Nick was still breathing. He could have easily gone over the heads of those who argued to keep Nick alive if he really wanted to. Including myself. But he kept his word.

Was he perfect?

No, far from it.

But, despite the darkness shrouding Liam’s past, he was innately good. Right down to his soul. He’d only ever taken two lives in cold blood—Nick’s grandfather and his mate, but his pursuit of them was to avenge my death. The others had only been casualties of war. Even if his darkness made him more willing than most to fight.

To kill.

But he’d never intentionally set someone up to die.

Not like Nick had willingly done.

And, for that, I could never forgive him.

“Well, whatever it is, I’m sure Liam will see to it that things don’t get out of hand.” She smirked before adding, “It’s not every day a girl gets to say she has a dragon warrior at her disposal.”

I smiled, too, but it felt weak as I considered him putting himself in harm’s way for me. He’d already done so more times than I could count.

Glancing up, I found his gaze already locked on me as Elise continued to address him and Dallas.

Something was definitely wrong. If I wasn’t sure before, with that look set in his eyes … I was positive now.