Chapter Five
Luna was still pregnant.
The baby he thought was long gone was still inside her. The memory of that day played on replay constantly in his mind and kept him up most nights. It pushed his wolf to the breaking point, and he had feared the animal would go insane and break free from his skin. There wasn’t a day that went by that he didn’t think about the loss. And now that she was here and the baby was still there, he could hardly believe it. It felt like waking from a nightmare that never ended.
He couldn't even bring himself to be mad at Luna, not when it felt like a vice that had been wrapped around his heart was now loosening. He had to find her before she left again.
Even though New York was a city of millions of people, it wasn’t hard for Killian to track Luna down. He had her scent memorized, etched so permanently into his brain that it was easy enough to follow the trail once he caught it. The inner wolf inside him was eager to find her too, sniffing for the lingering smell of sugar and cinnamon in the air.
Being on foot, she hadn’t gone far. Killian and Meredith caught up with her a mere couple of streets from the office. They followed her block after block until they reached the edge of the East Village. She stopped in front of an old building, fumbled for her keys and went inside.
“What the hell is she doing here?”
“She obviously lives here, duh,” Meredith said.
“Why would she live in a place like this?” His mind raced with questions. Luna had a gorgeous apartment in Portland. She loved that place and judging from the way she’d decorated it, it was obviously her pride and joy. So why then was she staying in a dump like this? Even if she’d sold her place, she could have afforded something much better with the profits. And it wasn’t like her parents were hard up for cash either if she’d needed any. One weekend, when she said she couldn’t stay over because she was going home to see family, curiosity had gotten the better of him. He followed her all the way to a beautiful mansion on the lake. There was no way parents who lived like that would let their daughter stay here.
Meredith shrugged. “The rent in Manhattan is too damn high, that’s why. Well—at least we know where she lives now. Should we stake her place out and make sure she doesn’t go telling anyone?”
“I’m going in after her,” he declared. “I need to get to the bottom of this.”
“You can’t. What are you going to do, break into her apartment? Killian, wait—Killian.”
He was already halfway across the street when he heard Meredith grumbling behind him. Jogging up the stoop, he bent and examined the door. Jesus Christ, what kind of security was this? The door knob was older than him. He took his lock picking tool from his pocket and slipped it into the keyhole. It opened in three seconds, and the ancient wood heaved and creaked when he pushed it.
“What a dump,” Meredith declared.
Killian agreed. There were newspapers piled in one corner, dirty bottles strewn about, and the damp smell of mold in the air was unmistakable. He checked the mailboxes but didn’t see Luna’s name. The mixed cooking smells in the confined space were blocking his senses so he couldn’t follow her scent. Shit. Maybe they could knock on every door until they found her.
“Let me help you, ma’am.”
He turned at Meredith’s voice to find her holding the door of the building open for an elderly woman.
“Oh, thank you, dear,” the woman said when she made it all the way in. “It’s nice that young people know how to respect their elders.”
“It’s what my grandma taught me,” Meredith replied cheerfully. “Say, ma’am, I was wondering if you could help me. I’m here to surprise my sister, Luna. Luna Rhoades. But I seem to have forgotten her apartment number. I can’t remember if it’s 1B or 2B—and I can’t call her or I’ll ruin the surprise.”
“Oh. Luna, yes,” she replied, her cloudy eyes brightening in recognition. “Pretty young thing with blonde hair? That girl, she’s always exhausted from working at that restaurant in Chinatown, you know? But she always has time to check on me every other morning. Asks me if I need anything. Maybe to check if I’m still alive,” she chuckled. “I don’t have any family and my dear Marlow passed away fifteen years ago. My children don’t even call—”
“Uh, ma’am?” Meredith interrupted gently. “Her apartment?”
“Oh! Yes, I’m sorry dear, I do tend to ramble on. It’s….” She trailed off, her eyes looking into the distance. “It’s 2C, I believe.”
“Thank you!”
Killian strode to the stairs, taking them two at a time to the second floor.
“What exactly are you going to do?” Meredith asked when she caught up. “Look, I bought us some time, we know where she lives, and Quinn can probably find out where she works. Let’s go back and talk to the Alpha. He’ll know what to do.”
He ignored her and kept walking towards the apartment. He stopped when he reached the door, contemplating whether he should just pick the lock or knock.
“Killian, for fuck’s sake,” Meredith said in an exasperated voice. “Don’t you do it.”
“I have to,” he replied, before knocking on the door. His knuckles rapped sharply on the wood. No answer. He knocked again. “Luna!” he called. “I know you’re in there.”
“That woman was older than this building. She might have given us the wrong apartment number,” Meredith pointed out.
Before he could answer her, the door opened, and Luna’s face appeared. “What are you doing here?” she asked her eyes wide as saucers. “Don’t you—what do you think you’re doing?”
Killian barged into her apartment, ignoring her protests. “Hey, you can’t just come in here!” she exclaimed, her cheeks puffing out in anger.
“What the hell are you doing here, Luna?” he asked, looking around. While the apartment was clean, it was also cramped. The three of them could barely fit inside. A shabby futon was pushed up against a wall and next to it was a side table with a laptop. On the opposite end was the small kitchen, though really, that was being generous. The room consisted of a counter with a hot plate and a sink, plus a few dishes stacked neatly on the side. There was a single door next to the mini fridge that was either a closet or a bathroom.
“I live here,” she retorted. “Now get out or I’ll call the cops.”
“Why the fuck are you living in this hellhole?” Killian couldn’t help himself. His brain couldn’t reconcile what he was seeing. His inner wolf, on the other hand, was starting to get antsy.
“It’s all I can afford,” she answered, her face growing red with embarrassment. “Now that you’re done insulting my home, you can go.”
“What about your apartment in Portland? Or the mansion on Lake Oswego? Why aren’t your parents supporting you?”
“The mansion? How—Did you follow me to the Van der Meer’s mansion?” Her face twisted in anger.
“You mean your family’s home? That’s what you said, right? You were going home to see some family?”
“Not that it’s any of your business,” she stated, putting her hands on her hips. “I did grow up in that house, but it wasn’t my family’s. My mother was the housekeeper, and we lived there with the wealthy couple who owned it.”
The blood pounding in Killian’s ears was making him dizzy and his body was as stiff as a board. All this time he’d thought she was some rich, spoiled princess. “And your apartment?”
Luna’s face fell and he wished he hadn’t asked. She took a deep breath. “I had to sell it. Lawyers aren’t cheap, you know.”
“But they didn’t charge you,” he said in a daze. “I checked. The Portland PD never charged anyone.”
“Yeah, well that didn’t stop Larry Bakersfield from suing me in civil court,” Luna huffed. “Oh, that case got thrown out, but not before I spent every cent I had defending myself. By the end of it, I was flat broke and no one would hire me. The bastard blackballed me from every gallery on the West Coast. The only place that would hire me was a small artist community here in New York, and even that’s part time and has no benefits.”
“Luna…” He couldn’t say anything, not with the battle raging inside him. His inner wolf was angry. No, it was furious. Furious at him for not protecting Luna, for not taking care of her. He looked at her; at the hollows of her cheeks and the dark smudges under her eyes. Her arms were thin—much thinner than he’d remembered. In fact her entire body was skinnier, save for the protruding bump of her belly. She had been miserable, all right. Miserable and starving—because of him.
Luna let out a sharp cry and clutched at her stomach through the thin, white t-shirt she wore. Killian stepped towards her, but she raised a hand. “Don’t touch me!” she yelled as she sank down on the futon.
He stilled, rooted to where he stood like a tree. “Why did you tell me you got rid of it? I’m the father. I have a right to know my child.”
“Did you really think I could have an abortion?” she accused, tears pooling in her eyes. “Yes, I lied to you about that. But there was something I wasn’t lying about. I hate you, Killian. Or whoever the hell you are. I hate you, and I will burn the world before I let you into this child’s life. Now,” she stood up, her eyes full of fury. “Get out.”
Killian was silent, her words sinking slowly into him.
“Killian,” Meredith called softly,. “Let’s go.”
What could he do? Meekly, he followed his sister out of the apartment.
“I didn’t know,” Killian said as they walked down the stoop. “I swear, she wasn’t supposed to get hurt. I made sure.”
“You couldn’t have planned this,” Meredith assured him. “You couldn’t have known.”
“But I should have!” he roared. The wolf was screaming to get out—to take over his skin and bleed something.
“Jesus, calm down Killian!” Meredith’s eyes began to glow, a sign that her wolf was sensing just how close he was to losing control.
“I gotta go,” he shouted as he began to walk away from Meredith. He needed to be alone.
***
Killian wasn’t sure how he got home. Did he run over twenty blocks to his condo? Get in a cab, a bus, or subway? He didn’t know. As soon as he slammed the door shut behind him, the wolf shredded its way to the surface, tearing his clothes to ribbons. It proceeded to rip apart everything it could get its claws and teeth on—the couch, his coffee table, the lamp—even the carpets. He thought the wolf was done with the living room, but it stalked to his bedroom and tore at his bedsheets, slashing its massive claws across the wooden headboard.
At some point, he blacked out and woke in the middle of the night on the floor of the living room. He didn’t even want to survey the damage. Whatever it was, however bad, he deserved it. He was a fucking bastard.
Of course Luna hated him. He left her to deal with his shit. And now she was pregnant, alone and broke. No, he would take care of that. He would take care of her and his child and spend the rest of his life trying to make it up to her. She was his True Mate and they were meant to be together. The first thing he would do was to move her out of that apartment and into his condo. Not that his place was any better right this moment, but he’d get some cleaners in the morning and buy some new furniture.
“What the fuck did you do?”
It was dark, but he knew that voice. “Connor,” he said. “I’m redecorating. Like what I’ve done with the place?”
His brother let out a huff that sounded like a laugh. Connor leaned down and gave him a hand, which he took gratefully. “Thanks. Where have you been?” he asked as he got to his feet.
“Around,” Connor replied. “Meredith called me. Said you were in trouble.” He lifted his other hand which was holding up a six pack of beer. “You know I’m not much for talking, but I’m good at keeping quiet and pretending to listen.”
Killian chuckled. “Fine. Sit on the couch. I think there’s a spot that’s not too damaged.”
Connor eased down onto the broken couch gingerly, probably worried his large frame would make the frail piece of furniture collapse. He heaved a sigh when it seemed to hold up.
Killian sat on the love seat, the one piece that had escaped the wolf’s rage. He popped open the beer and told Connor everything, from the time he got the job to a few hours ago when he followed Luna home.
“And Archie knew?” Connor asked. “Why didn’t he do anything? Help you? You should have talked to him.”
“That day I came out of hiding and Luna told me she got an abortion was the same day we got a call from NYPD. When they found Archie’s body.”
Connor said nothing, but let out a grunt.
Killian now wondered what would have happened if he didn’t leave for New York. Putting an entire country between him and Luna seemed like a good idea at that time. He was barely hanging on, the thought of losing his child driving him and his wolf mad. What if he had stayed? Would he have heard about the civil case? Would he have seen Luna around town obviously pregnant and figured it out? Or would he have broken down and gone to see her anyway and discovered she didn’t have an abortion? So many what ifs.
“Whatcha gonna do, brother?” Connor asked.
He let out a sigh. “Luna is mine. They’re both mine and I’m going to do what it takes to get them back.”
“You gonna tell her what we are?”
“I have to. She’ll figure it out. Hopefully, I can tell her before the kid hits puberty.”
“Aw, shit, Killian,” Connor let out a real laugh. “You’re gonna be a daddy.”
That truth had been staring him in the face the whole day, but the realization only hit him now. Daddy. A kid. A pup. “Fuck.” He needed to make this right. Maybe take a bit of time off. Sebastian would understand with a kid on the way himself. No more extended ops overseas. “Connor, I need you.”
“Whatever you want, you know you got it.”
“Good—because I need you to be in the office more.”
“No fucking way,” Connor groused.
“Whatever is going on with you, just work through it or put it aside until I can fix this Luna thing? Please?”
Connor let out a growl and frowned, making the scar on his face etch deeper into his face. “Fine. I’ll be around more.”
“Good.”
“But don’t ask me to sign papers or do expense accounts. You know I hate that shit.”
“You hate everything, Connor,” he pointed out.
“Damn right I do.”