CHAPTER 21
MATHIS
The world had disappeared. Mathis was only aware of himself, and that only barely. He didn’t all seem to be there. Bits were missing. Floating away.
There was a constant low buzzing in the back of his mind, like a badly tuned television. White noise from a badly tuned brain. Food would help. Or Chloe, though he wished that wasn’t true. Wished she’d never come here, that she was far away, safe from it all. Safe from Harper. Safe from him.
He had failed her. Chloe deserved better than to be tied to a fool who’d fallen so easily for Harper’s trap.
At least it won’t be for long.
The thought tasted bitter in his mind. He knew it was coming. Harper had forced him to fight to the end of his body’s strength, and he’d pushed himself further. For the plan.
For Chloe.
At least he could be sure his body was going to give out before his mind. He wouldn’t end up like that poor ibex shifter, her human mind lost and her animal self crazed with fear.
Mathis drifted for a while, his mind floating above the white noise, above the deep ache of wounds that weren’t healing properly. That would never heal properly.
It didn’t matter. Mathis felt like it should, somehow. The end of him. Shouldn’t it hurt? Shouldn’t he be afraid?
Nothing. He floated through endless gray fog, and nothing touched him.
Nothing from the outside, at least. No teeth. No claws. And he had one thought inside him, keeping his heart warm.
Chloe’s safe. He can’t hurt her now. She’ll stay hidden…
“What happened to him? What did Harper do?”
Chloe’s voice seemed to come from a long way away. Someone replied to her, their voice a muddy blur. Mathis didn’t try to listen. He was focused on his mate, icy horror pouring through his body.
She didn’t hide. She’s here.
He won’t keep her alive after you’re gone.
“No,” he cried out, except the word didn’t go anywhere. It bounced inside his head. Had he even said anything?
*No!* he screamed, and felt someone throw up a telepathic barrier, the psychic equivalent of putting their hands over their ears. *Chloe!*
He struggled out of the fog, coming back into his body. Back into the world. Into pain.
He hurt. Everything hurt.
What did I do?
Chloe was somewhere out there, somewhere past the pain that lanced through him with every breath. He wanted to talk to her. He wanted to say, You have to run. Wanted to lie to her, tell her Everything’s fine, I’m fine—it was the polar bear shifter—Harper sent him in after I refused to calm down, but I beat him…
Or had he? Mathis shook his head, trying to line up the snapshots of memory that had come up out of the fog with him. He remembered turning to fight the bear, but after that it got fuzzy.
“Mathis? Mathis, can you hear me?” Chloe’s voice was like cool water on his thumping brain. He tried to reply, but his mouth wasn’t working properly.
He felt small hands slide under his head, pulling it up to rest on a warm lap. Chloe. Her fingers brushed over his forehead and down his cheek. Soft skin against his sweat-matted fur.
Fur? Mathis’ brain stirred. He was still in his lion shape. How could that be possible? He always shifted back after the fights. Even when he was hurt.
Chloe stroked his forehead again. “God, Mathis, what happened?”
This time he managed to make a noise, even if it wasn’t words. He was lying on something cool and hard. The floor? But not the concrete of the gym—it was smoother than that…
“Give him this. He’ll need food.” A man. Julian? Mathis pulled up an image of the man in his mind. The dragon shifter. Harper’s lapdog… who kept trying to keep him and Chloe alive.
Maybe Sven was right. Maybe the other prisoners here were as desperate to keep things from escalating as he was.
Too late for that.
“If he can even eat it in this condition…” Chloe. Something cool pressed against his lips, and then sweet liquid dripped into his mouth. Mathis swallowed. It was some sort of energy drink. Something to give his body the energy to heal enough to take in more nutrients…
So he could fight again.
He closed his mouth. He couldn’t do it anymore. Maybe if he stayed weak, Harper would give him time to recover. The mate bond couldn’t be strong enough yet for him to risk moving to step two, surely? He still had time. Chloe still had time. And even if he was like this, injured, more time with Chloe was sweeter than anything else he could think of.
“Mathis, drink it. Please.” Chloe’s springy hair brushed against his forehead. She whispered in his ear. “It’s all done, Mathis. What we talked about. Please. You need to recover.”
Mathis knew Julian could probably hear her whisper, but for this one moment he didn’t care. Let him wonder what she meant and whether he should report it to the man who held his leash.
He was with his mate. Nothing else mattered.
He opened his eyes. Chloe’s face was inches above his, and when she saw him looking up at her, a smile dawned on her lips.
“Hey,” she whispered. Then she took a deep breath, and her smile faded away.
She looked up at a shadowy figure that must be Julian, and then back at Mathis, biting her bottom lip. “Just stay like this for now, okay? As a lion. I don’t know how much you remember, but you were in a pretty bad way after—after the fight.” Her voice dropped. “You still are. Julian carried you back here in his dragon shape.”
Mathis raised his head, biting back a snarl as pain lanced through his skull. He couldn’t speak to her in this form—maybe Julian could pass on his telepathic messages, but right now Mathis didn’t want anything to do with the dragon shifter. He sighed heavily and, even though he knew it was useless, tried to whisper into Chloe’s mind: *Harper? Is he bored yet? Does he know our bond is becoming stronger?*
Chloe didn’t hear him, of course. She ran her fingers through his mane, over and over, her gaze becoming unfocused. Mathis ached with the need to communicate with her. To pull her out of whatever thoughts were darkening her expression—or at least be able to ask her to share them.
After a few minutes, Chloe gave a shaky laugh. “I have no idea what’s going to happen now.” Her voice was low, pitched for only him to hear. “Harper... Harper seemed entertained. I guess. He was glad I got back in time to watch the, the rest of the fight.” She swallowed. “But you’re okay. You’re okay.”
Mathis knew from the way she said it how close he’d been to not being okay.
After a while, the energy drinks started to take effect. He gathered enough strength to push himself up until he was sitting Sphinx-pose, if the Sphinx had to lean against a wall to stay upright. Chloe moved with him, keeping close against his side. Julian slipped out as Chloe buried her face in Mathis’ mane and stifled a sniff.
Everything that Mathis was ached with longing.
She was miserable, and he couldn’t help her. Not in this shape.
He was exhausted, and in more pain than he’d ever been in. The white noise was still there at the edges of his mind, a reminder of how damaged his body was.
But his mate needed him.
Mathis reached inside himself, gathering all the energy he had left, and shifted.
The world always looked different through human eyes than lion eyes, but it never looked this gray.
“Chloe,” Mathis gasped. Where was she?
Shadows clustered at the edges of Mathis’ vision as tried to stand up. The room spun and then Chloe was beside him, supporting his weight and pulling him toward the bed.
“You shouldn’t have done that.” Chloe’s voice sounded somehow a long way off and very close at the same time. The world tilted, and the mattress gave against Mathis’ back, the sheets soft and cool on his fevered skin. Her voice was tense as she muttered: “Julian said you’re too badly injured to shift.”
Julian was gone; even in this state, Mathis could tell that. Or maybe the dragon shifter was still here, but had shielded himself. No matter. Nothing mattered anymore.
Mathis took stock, wincing as new injuries multiplied the pain of old ones. Chloe was a dark blur in his vision, just out of reach. Mathis’ heart twisted.
“You shouldn’t be here.”
His voice was too harsh, tight and raw with pain. Chloe’s sharp intake of breath cut through the pulse thudding in his ears. He had to hold on to that. To her.
He raised one shaking hand and wiped his face. What happened last night?
“We had a plan,” he said, and his voice rattled like gravel inside his skull. He winced, but kept going, kept trying to find his way back into his own memories. “You were meant to hide—”
Chloe had been pacing angrily, a dark blur against the white walls of the bedroom. Now she stalked over and stood beside the bed, arms crossed defensively.
“There was a change in plans. Apparently. Because I don’t recall the plan being for you to almost kill yourself.” Her voice grew quieter, but didn’t soften. “That wasn’t the deal. We were meant to get out of this together.”
“If we could.”
“That’s not what you said. That’s not what we agreed.”
Chloe rubbed her face, and Mathis’ eyesight must have been improving because now he could see how bloodshot her eyes were. Her cheeks were blotchy, puffy and red from being rubbed.
Mathis’ insides wrenched. She might not be crying now but she clearly had been before he woke up. Because of him.
Memories began to surge up in his mind, bubbling from deep within where pain and exhaustion had crushed them down.
“You were leaving,” he said slowly as images flashed in his mind. “Just like we’d planned. You pretended to be sick, and Harper sent you away. But he was going to send someone after you, and that would have ruined everything. I had to stop him…” He frowned. “But I don’t remember what happened after that.”
Chloe was staring at him, her face wracked with unhappiness. “You were... you weren’t you.”
Mathis’ heart dropped. “Oh, God, Chloe, I—If I hurt you—”
Chloe was shaking her head. “No. No, nothing like that, don’t be stupid. I know you’d never hurt me. But you were… far away.” She wiped her hand over her eyes again. “I’m glad you’re back. That’s all.”
“Jesus.” Mathis dropped his head into his hands. “I’m so sorry.”
“Uh,” Chloe said, her voice under control again. “That’s not all. When I was in Harper’s tower…”
“What happened?”
She didn’t answer right away. “I got the word out,” she said at last. “Now we just have to wait and see what happens. Hope someone pays enough attention to come and stop Harper.”
“Let’s hope so.”
She didn’t say “Come and save us”, he thought, his throat dry. Just to stop him. She doesn’t really think we’re getting out of here.
“We will get out of here,” he murmured, trying to sound like he believed his own words. “I promise you. It’ll be just like I said. You can leave all of this behind you. Forget it ever happened. Like a bad dream.”
Wordlessly, he reached out to her. She fell into his arms, soft and warm and so right it made his heart hurt.
He was too bone-tired to do anything except this. Just lie together, here, skin to skin for however long they had left.
As he drifted into sleep, he half-thought that when he woke up—when he was feeling better, when he could think without his head aching—they would plan out their next steps. He thought there would still be time.
Instead, when he woke up, she was gone.