Harper was amazed when The Steppes came into view. Not only was Shan's mountainous territory breathtaking, but in spite of her wolf's best efforts, she'd managed to make it there without dying.

Unlike Shan's wolf, who was intent on shepherding them towards the den, Harper's wolf was more about the journey than the destination. Her journey included chasing her tail, dashing after anything that had wings, and sniffing every flower she encountered. 

The last shift had passed like a dream, but this time she was fully present. She could see everything that her wolf saw and even feel things in a weird, vague sort of way, but she had no control over anything. It reminded her of being at a 4D movie, occasionally feeling a spray of water or a jostling sensation, but otherwise still seated and watching a show rather than actively participating.

The two things she felt most strongly were pain and distress. Pain mostly came from falling down, which her wolf did often. When Shan had mentioned that her wolf loved to climb, he hadn't included that she was terrible at it. In fact, she was remarkably graceless, apt to tripping over her own feet when she got excited, and she was a terrible judge of both height and distance.

Distress was more ubiquitous than Harper would have imagined, considering how large and strong her wolf was. Even the smallest things, like the hooting of an owl or the falling of a tree limb could send her wolf scurrying behind Shan. And God forbid she couldn't find Shan. A few times she'd dashed off ahead in pursuit of a chipmunk or a colorful bird, only to find that Shan was no longer at her side. Panic set in and she'd cried and barked until he caught up with her.

Her wolf was nothing like what Harper would have expected, given her years of being tormented by nightmares. Far from a vicious predator, she was more like an overgrown puppy.

Shifting was also not what she'd expected. After her horrible experience by the lake, she'd expected to feel cold, detached, and afraid. While she did feel disconcerted by her lack of control, the experience was far from frightening. Everything was new to her wolf, and vicariously experiencing her wonderment was nothing short of incredible.

There was no vegetation on the hillside where they'd stopped, and it gave Harper a clear view of the mountain beyond. Although it was twilight, her wolf's eyes had no difficulty making out the fine details of the mountainside. Its terraced slopes did resemble steps, with wide plateaus of farmland interspersed with rows of uncleared forest. 

At the edge of her vision, she could see lights and shadowed, boxy figures. She felt an odd straining sensation as she tried to focus on the figures, but she managed to see them in more definition. It almost looked like a small town.

Abruptly, her wolf looked away, her attention seized by a patch of flowers. Harper could feel her excitement and fascination over the buttercups, but this time, she didn't share it. Frustration simmered around her like charged air.

Enough with the stupid flowers. I want to see what that was.

To her astonishment, the wolf lifted her head and turned back towards the mountain.

All thoughts of searching for the town evaporated as her focus switched to figuring out what had happened. Had she influenced her wolf, or had it just been a coincidence?

Turn around.

Not only did the wolf ignore her, but she turned back to the flowers, this time chomping at them.

Unwilling to give up, Harper repeated the command, but also added a visual element. When she'd complained about the flowers, she'd had a clear image of the mountainside and the town in her mind, so this time she imagined her wolf turning her head to look over her shoulder.

It worked.

As soon as she pictured turning around, her wolf ceased its assault on the buttercup patch. She lifted her head and cocked it over her shoulder to scan the area behind her. She took in the rolling fields and the star-smattered sky before settling her gaze on Shan's wolf, who sat close by, watching her.

It came to Harper then, that Shan might not have been lying when he'd said that he was his wolf. Maybe her wolf was just an animal template, running around and doing animal things while waiting for Harper to figure out how to control her. 

Harper projected another image, this one of taking a few steps forward, then back, and then left and right. The wolf followed each command, as surely as if she were a playable character in a game. The rush of excitement that hit her was her own and after spinning around a few times, she turned and ran up to Shan's wolf, rubbing her face against his.

Then, of her own accord, the wolf began licking the side of his face. Harper attempted to redirect her, projecting an image of her turning back around towards The Steppes. Ignoring her, the wolf continued licking Shan, and then rubbed her body against his in a distinctly provocative way. Shan responded with a rumbling growl and gently headbutted her.

Harper continued firing off images of her wolf turning around, but to no avail. Her frustration spiked again, and then flared into indignation as her wolf began sniffing under Shan's belly. She felt her wolf's intrigue as she found his genitals and knew what was coming next. Mortified, she gathered all of her mental strength and issued a harsh command for her wolf to back off. Her wolf jerked her head back at once, though it seemed less that she was obeying and more that she'd been startled. 

Over the hours that she'd been a passenger in her wolf's body, Harper had scoped out the edges of her new space. She'd uncovered a pathway similar to the one she'd been sucked through when she'd shifted, only it went in the opposite direction. At the time when she'd noticed it, she'd had no incentive to try to bring herself back into her human form. Now, she located the pathway and imagined herself shooting upwards and back into her body.

It worked a little too well.

Retaking her human form felt like being flushed down a too-tight pipe. When she came back to herself on the ground, her skin felt like it was on fire. She gasped for breath and then promptly vomited onto the grass.

Shan was behind her a moment later. Back in his human form, his arms came around her to hold her up. He waited until she was done heaving before pulling her into his lap. 

Moaning, she let her head fall against his chest. She knew that she was present and in control of her body, but it felt as though she could not have held her head up if she tried.

"Something's wrong," she said, her words slurring over her uncooperative lips. "I feel so weak."

"It's normal the first few times. Your body will adapt." He wrapped her up in her pelt before lifting her up into his arms. "We're not far now. I'll carry you the rest of the way."

They were still miles away and under normal circumstances she wouldn't have let him haul her so far, but she wasn't in a position to protest. She was sure if he set her down, her legs wouldn't be able to hold her up, let alone walk.

Between her closeness to Shan and her pelt, her body remained hot but not to the point of discomfort. Once her nausea subsided she felt a little too comfortable, and had to talk to keep herself from falling asleep.

"For a few minutes, I was so sure that I was controlling her. Now, I think she was just toying with me."

"I doubt that. The bond is new for her, too. You'll both need time to become accustomed to your roles. It's important that you don't try to exert control over your wolf. If you start down that path, your wolf will be less inclined to give you control over your human form."

That was unsettling. Throughout the morning and now, she was vaguely aware of her wolf, but only if she concentrated on her. Her wolf had made no effort to make her presence known while Harper was in human form. Was that because she was respecting her boundaries, or because like Harper, she hadn't yet figured out how?

"I know you said that your wolf is like an extension of you, but it's not like that for me," she said. "My wolf is like another person, and she's nothing like me at all. Last I checked, I wasn't obsessed with flowers or afraid of my own shadow."

His laugh vibrated against her cheek. "Your wolf is timid. I didn't expect that at all. Hopefully, it's just a phase."

"Was your wolf like her, in the beginning?"

He didn't have to think for a second. "Not in the slightest. I don't think he's ever been afraid of anything, until now. The first time I remember feeling fear through the bond was the night you almost bled out."

"Geez, was it really that bad?"

"It was...not good," Shan said. "And both times that you've shifted now, he's been very unsettled. Your wolf terrifies him."

Harper snorted. "What? Why?"

"He's afraid she'll get hurt, or worse. She's like an oversized pup."

"I was just thinking that," Harper groaned. "I'm so glad you've been here. I can't imagine how my family would have handled it if I'd shifted back when I was a teenager."

"It would have been a week, at most, before you chased a butterfly off a cliff."

Harper laughed and managed to lift her arm and give his chest a weak swat. Though she knew it hadn't hurt, she immediately felt bad for hitting him and began rubbing the spot that she'd struck. He returned the gesture, his hand stroking one side of her back.

She realized then that no matter what happened between Ian and Jo, or with her wolf, she was glad to have shifted. A life with Shan would not have been the one that she chose on her own, not because she believed she wouldn't be happier with him, but because she believed she didn't deserve someone like him. 

He was so much better than her, she knew that. Being able to shift did not make her any worthier of being his mate, but it did mean that she couldn't run from her feelings for once. Regardless of how inferior she might be, the two of them belonged together and she would just have to work at becoming worthy.

After a long lull in the conversation, Harper asked, "Do you think it's too soon for me to say that I'm in love with you?"

Shan didn't answer right away, probably because he wanted to torture her. Harper kept her face buried in his chest, not having the balls to look up at him.

"It doesn't matter. I don't need you to say it."

What a perfectly confident and secure answer. 

She hated it.

"But what if I want to say it?" she asked.

"Then say it."

Her heart pounded.

He asked, "Do you need me to say it?"

Despite her decision to stop lying to him, she was quick to respond with a firm, "No."

"All right."

She sucked a tooth. "But would you? You know, if I did need you to?"

She felt him shrug. "Perhaps."

* * *

Shan should not have felt like he was sneaking into his own territory. It had been five years since the last time he'd made it to his den without a single scout taking notice. The repercussions had been severe. 

Upon arrival at the town, he'd promptly demoted Cage, the head of his scouts. West had been Cage's highest ranking subordinate at the time, and the only reason Shan hadn't demoted him as well was because he'd needed someone to run the faction.

Over the years, West had never made Shan regret his choice. He had proven far more capable than his predecessor and had established a new standard of order within the faction. Ever since, whenever Shan entered the territory he would be greeted by no less than three scouts before he ever set foot on the mountainside.

As his den came into view, he had to accept that something had gone wrong in his absence. 

He'd known something would go wrong, but he had held out the smallest sliver of hope that his betas could keep things together, especially considering how quickly Harper had managed to shift. Gareth, West, and Eko would have only been back for five days now. How much could they have possibly fucked up in such a short span of time?

In times such as this, he doubted the composition of his pack. The fact that he had five highly-dominant wolves beneath him was a point of pride for Shan. He didn't derive pleasure from lording over them, but rather he was pleased to know that their kind could transcend their instincts in favor of the higher purpose of building a civilization, just as humans had thousands of years ago.

Were it not for him bringing them together into his pack, his betas would have all made capable alphas in their own rights. Even many of the betas that worked beneath his betas, such as Cade or Yorick could have easily been alphas of small packs. Having all of them beneath him made Shan's pack extremely formidable. The reason he'd been able to create his extensive network of alliances was less to do with his diplomatic savvy and more because even the largest packs knew that they couldn't combat even a fraction of Shan's.

When his pack was in perfect order, the elaborate hierarchy was a thing of beauty. Each member of his pack knew their place, who they were responsible for, and to whom they deferred to. They took their responsibilities seriously and trusted that those above them would do the same. Corruption and aberrant behavior were rare.

When things went poorly, it usually started from the top down. When his more dominant wolves feuded, the factions could rapidly devolve into something resembling individual packs. The wolves would rally behind their leader.

Of his betas, the only two he could trust to work well and in harmony together were Kalla and Merry. For years, the two of them had kept things in order while he and the other betas had made their annual circuit through the Appalachian territories. Shan used to believe that their unique harmony came from them both being female, until the year he'd had Eko stay behind with them. Eko had thrown her weight around sure as any male. According to his pack mates, she and Kalla had fought on a near daily basis, while the more passive-aggressive Merry had instructed all of her healers to ignore any requests for aid that came from one of Eko's wolves. 

West should have been able to get along well with both Kalla and Merry. A natural mediator, he chose his words carefully and was good at diffusing caustic situations. Unfortunately, he was one of the earlier members of the pack, having joined when Kalla was still a child. Unlike Shan and Gareth, West had never adjusted his perspective of Kalla as she grew and as such rarely gave her the respect she deserved. Though the two of them were good friends, whenever they had to work on anything together West would inadvertently patronize Kalla, disregard her suggestions, or ignore her completely.

Gareth got along with no one, save for his sister and Shan. Shan preferred it that way. He'd had many lead enforcers over the years, and had found that it was the position most prone to corruption. As head of the enforcers, he was responsible for ensuring order within the pack and confines of their laws. His judgement had to be unimpeachable and not subject to the whims of friendship or enmity. Unfortunately, he was also Shan's most dominant pack member. He'd been there since the beginning and likely considered himself to have a larger stake in the pack than all those who'd come after him. The moment Shan wasn't around to keep him in his place, Gareth would immediately begin trying to wrest control of the pack.

Between the five of them, there were so many ways that things could have gone wrong. More ways than he wanted to contemplate as he passed through the threshold of his den.

With nearly six months out, it was the longest he'd been gone from his den since its construction nearly a decade ago. There wasn't a hint of must in the cavern. As always, Kalla kept it clean while he was away. Despite his suggestion that she delegate the task, she came in every week, dusting and replacing the moss that was tucked away in the corners of the bookshelves, absorbing the moisture in the air. 

While there was an extensive network of caves in the mountainside, Shan's den was not a natural formation. It had been constructed, first by digging out a small portion of the land, and then using hewn stone to create a house-like structure within the earth.

Unlike most of the buildings in The Steppes, his home did not have electricity. Having been in the wilderness for so long, he found the faint hum of electric lighting to be too much of a nuisance for the mild convenience it offered, and he enjoyed the scent of wood burning in his hearth.

Harper stirred as he laid her down onto the sofa. She shifted to make herself comfortable, but gave no indication that she was fully awake. 

She'd fallen asleep before he'd even set foot into the valley. The shift had exhausted her, and it was no wonder. She'd spent two nights in her wolf form with only half a day to recover. It would be several months before she built up the energy reserves to handle as much.

She was already nestled beneath her pelt, but he covered her with another blanket for good measure, and then set to the task of building a fire. The hearth had been restocked before he'd left. He checked the wood to make sure it was still viable and then gathered kindling from the chest on the mantle. With the convenience of his matchbox, he had a fire going within minutes. As he stoked the small flames, he heard Harper's breathing change to indicate that she'd woken.

"I need to go check on a few things," he said. "I shouldn't be gone long. You'll be safe here."

Her voice held the rasp of fatigue when she responded. "Can you bring me food when you come back? I'm starving. And I don't mean that in the hyperbolic sense. My blood sugar has tanked. Look."

He glanced over his shoulder to see her lift her arm. Her hand held a distinct tremor. Setting aside the fire iron, Shan got up and sat beside her on the sofa. He took her hand into his and squeezed it. 

"I'll send someone to bring you food," he assured her. "Stay awake, if you can. When I come back, we'll need to talk."

"About what?"

Shan ran the back of his hand down the side of her face. "A lot. We shouldn't get into it now. You're hungry and I have to meet with my betas."

Shan leaned down to kiss her before she could issue a complaint. He was glad that she was so weak and tired, because if she'd started with her usual antics he wouldn't have been able to resist her. He had already been painfully attracted to her, but hour by hour the change in her scent was wearing at his resolve. 

He was going to have to talk to her before they had sex again. It was unlikely that he could get her pregnant before her scent fully changed, but he'd seen it happen enough times to know that it was a possibility. One way or another, they would be mated within the next week, but he wasn't going to listen to her complain that he'd slept with her without warning her.

After pulling away, he remained beside her for another minute, taking in the sight of her in the firelight. Her face was flushed and her lips were swollen from their kissing. She returned his stare, her pupils dilated. 

He was struck all over again by how beautiful she was and how incredible it was that he'd found her. He had never truly expected to find a female of his own kind, but now he wondered if this was the reason he'd waited so long to take a mate. A small part of him had held out hope of finding her. She might have been imperfect, but she was his.