Tre looked up from his laptop screen when he felt someone’s eyes on the back of his head. He turned to the doorway of his room and jumped when he realized that both Jack and Jean Luc were standing there.

He pulled his massive, noise canceling headphones off of his head and set his laptop aside.

“What are you doing?” Jean Luc asked, squinting at Tre’s screen.

“Watching porn,” Tre answered, swiveling to face them and pulling his knees up to rest his elbows on them.

Jack laughed and Jean Luc strode forward to see better. “Bullshit.” He squinted at the screen. “Seriously. What are you doing?”

Tre laughed and tilted the screen so he could see it better. “I’m writing a program for one of my clients.”

“What kind of program?” Jean Luc asked suspiciously. He was the person in the group who was least comfortable with Tre’s profession of hacker/thief.

“Do you really want to know?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s a spyware program for this French guy who I’ve worked with before. Before you ask, I don’t know what he uses this shit for, but yes, it’s probably for stealing information from people.”

Jean Luc sucked his teeth. “Great. That’s awesome. Now I’ll know who to blame if I get my identity stolen.”

Tre waved his hand through the air. “You’re not gonna get shit stolen. None of you are. I made sure of that weeks ago.”

“What?” Jean Luc asked, while Jack came to sit on the other side of Tre’s bed. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that I bolstered all the security on all of your personal accounts. There’s basically no one on earth who could hack through my firewall.”

“You went into my personal accounts.”

“Only to protect them.” He turned to Jack. “You need to start updating your passwords. “12345678 is not acceptable.”

Jack shrugged and grinned. “Why update my passwords when I apparently have my own personal security system lying on the bed right beside me?”

Jean Luc frowned and leaned one shoulder on the wall. He opened his mouth to argue more, but Tre beat him to the punch.

“Is there a reason you girls are in my room or were you just looking to have a slumber party?”

“Right.” Jack studied his fingernails. “Well, son. We came because we think it might be a good idea for you to do the dirty with our darling Caroline.”             

Tre swallowed absolutely nothing and choked on it anyways. “Uh.”

He shook his head and tried again. Nope. Still no words. “Uhhhhh…”

“You alright there?” Jean Luc asked, squinting his eyes and swallowing his smile.

“You wanna run that by me again?” Tre asked Jack. He must have misheard. Yeah. That was it. He’d definitely misheard.

“You.” Jack pointed at Tre. “Caroline.” Jack pointed out the hallway. “Sex.” Jack pointed at the bed. After a minute, he shot Tre a thumbs up. “Cool?”

Tre looked between Jack and Jean Luc for half a minute. “Where the hell is this coming from?”

Jean Luc shrugged. “We’d rather she was with you than with Arturo.”

Tre rolled to a stand off the bed. He grabbed a handful of his copper hair and it stayed sticking straight up even after he started pacing around. “Who says she’s with Arturo?” he demanded.

“They’re not together… yet.” Jack had added the ‘yet’ as a well-aimed arrow and if the look in Tre’s eyes was any indication, it had hit its target well. “But Arturo is definitely making a move and she seems pretty receptive.”

“So, you want me to…”

“Get there first,” Jack supplied.

Jean Luc coughed but when Tre turned to look at him, there was no trace of the smile that had just been there. “We don’t think she’s a double dipper,” Jean Luc said, by way of an explanation. “If she’s sleeping with you, she’s not gonna be sleeping with Arturo.”

“And you think she’d be all fine and good with us just coordinating a hand-off like this?” Tre crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the two others.

They had the good grace to at least wince.

“No,” Jack said. “Of course not. It’s rude and condescending to plan this shit behind her back. But Thea and Celia seemed to think it was the only way.”

“Thea and Celia are in on this little plan?” Tre scraped hands over his face, rubbing his eyes under his glasses.

“We’re trying to do what’s best for her, okay?” Jean Luc spoke slowly. And then he repeated the line that Celia had made him practice no less than ten times. It’s the kill shot! she’d promised him. “We all know that no feelings are at stake here, between you and Caroline, so what’s the risk?”

“No feelings.” Tre repeated woodenly. “Right.”

Of course. It was apparently extremely clear to everyone that someone like Caroline would never be interested in someone like Tre. He was just a stud horse they were attempting to pimp out for her own good. Why did that bother him so much? It shouldn’t bother him at all. Honestly, it should have been his dream scenario. If he’d thought there was really a world where he could sleep with Caroline without shredding her heart to ribbons he would have jumped on it weeks ago. But here Jean Luc was, telling him that that world not only existed, it was preferred, and Tre was feeling ten different kinds of hurt.

“It’s not a good idea,” Tre said stiffly.

“I think it’s kind of brilliant, son,” Jack said crossing his legs at the ankle and leaning back farther on Tre’s bed.

“No. You don’t understand,” Tre insisted. “I’m not good for women. Really. Even if there’s no real feelings involved.” Those words tasted like ash in his mouth. “She’s still gonna get hurt somehow. Trust me.”

Jean Luc’s brow furrowed. Sometimes it made him weary how many good people had roadblocks in the way of their own happiness. It still amazed him, in a nauseated, pained way, that Celia hadn’t thought she was good enough for him. No one ever saw themselves clearly. No one ever really knew what they had on their own hands. He wondered what exactly they were stumbling into, shoving their noses into Tre’s love life. He thought it would be best if they retreated and regrouped.

Jack, however, didn’t seem to be following a similar line of thought. “Come on, son. Whatever you’ve got going on, it can’t be half as bad as whatever Arturo’s got going on.”
Tre stiffened and mercilessly choked to death the little bird of hope that stuck its head up out of the hole it had been hiding in. “I would break her heart.”

“Broken heart is easier to mend than dead.”

Tre whirled to Jack. “You think Arturo would kill her?”

Jack, sensing that he’d pushed his case just a bit too far too fast, drew back on the reins. “No. But the fact is, we don’t know what he will and won’t do. We don’t know what he’s capable of, or what he wants. You really want all that getting naked with Caroline?”

Tre’s back molars threatened to snap off. He forced himself not to pace. “These can’t be our only two options.”

“The girl’s on a mission, son.” Jack re-crossed his ankles. “She’s fresh single and looking for companionship. And a girl that pretty? She’s gonna get it. So yeah, the way I see it, these are our only two options. You or Arturo.”

Unbidden, the memory of Caroline warm and in bed and pressing against him rocketed through Tre like jet fuel. But then he thought of her face after he told her that it wasn’t going to happen between them. And then he tried to imagine how she would look if she were ten times sadder. The way she would inevitably be after they slept together and she learned what a robot he really was. It was inconceivable.

“I can’t do it.”

Jack opened his mouth to argue. “Now—”

Jean Luc cut him off. “He says he can’t do it, he can’t do it.” Jean Luc’s stance didn’t shift, nor did his expression, but anyone who had ever watched him play in the NFL would have known immediately that he’d just switched from defense to offense. “It was a long shot anyways. Caroline is a hell of a catch.”

Tre’s eyes narrowed at the veiled insult. “I didn’t mean I can’t.”

“That’s what you said.” Jean Luc raised an eyebrow.

“I meant that I won’t. Not that I couldn’t.”

The other eyebrow raised to meet the first on Jean Luc’s forehead. “Sure.”

“I could get her if I wanted to. If I thought it was best.”

Jack, catching on to the game, rose up from the bed. “Maybe. Arturo is a pretty good-looking guy.”

“Oh, fuck you.” Tre couldn’t help himself and paced toward one wall and then the other. “We all know that looks only matter so much. The rest is about how you present yourself to a woman.”

“And you think the way you’re presenting yourself could catch Caroline’s interest?” Jean Luc asked skeptically.

Tre looked down at himself. “What?”

Jean Luc gave him the up and down. “Holey T-shirt, jeans that are dirty at the cuffs. Three-day beard. Smudgy glasses. And about a month and a half past a haircut? Yeah. Somehow I don’t think she’s gonna swoon.”

“Fuck you twice, pretty boy. And you, too, old man. Get the hell out of my room.” The two men walked to the door. Tre couldn’t help but say one more thing. “I could get her. I have more game than the both of you combined.”

He slammed the door in their faces, not even realizing that they’d somehow gotten him to argue their original point for them.

On the other side of the door, Jack grinned at Jean Luc and the two of them slapped a handshake.

“Well,” Jean Luc said, scraping a palm over his trim beard. “Should be interesting at least.”

 

***

 

Tre woke up the next morning in an absolutely foul mood. Those assholes. Those complete assholes. In the stark light of day, he could see exactly how they’d manipulated him. How somehow, he’d ended up arguing his own case for an attempt into Caroline’s bed.

They thought they were so smart and so slick. And they expected him to fall right into line and start playing their game. Well, fuck that.

Tre brushed his teeth and washed his face and then, on second thought, smudged his glasses a little more. He intentionally put on yesterday’s clothes, not bothering with a shower. There were more than just their two options. He could find a way to keep Caroline safe from Arturo without having to make a play for her himself.

Because he was definitely not going to make a play for her.

Nope. No matter how cute she looked leaning over the counter in her light blue shorts and dark blue T-shirt with the bow on one shoulder. No matter how shiny her hair was. And no matter how sexy that under-the-breath humming thing she sometimes did was.

Tre sagged against the kitchen door and just watched her for a second. She was putting a bowl of something and a mug of tea on a tray, folding a napkin very carefully.

“Oh!” She jumped when she turned and saw him there.

“Sorry,” he said, a blush creeping up his neck at having been caught staring at her.

“You bears sure are quiet,” she grinned at him, picking up the tray and stepping around him. She paused for a second and he got a wave of that vanilla scent that always seemed to cling to her. “You feeling alright?”
“What?”

Her eyes dipped down, taking in his rumpled clothes and patchy beard. Not to mention his bloodshot eyes and purple bags after barely having slept the night before.

He suddenly wanted to go back in time and kick his own ass for not having showered.

“Are you hungover?” she asked tentatively.

“No. I just couldn’t sleep last night.”

“Oh. Okay! Well, coffee’s on.” With that she pranced down the hall, balancing the tray of breakfast that Tre was quickly realizing was meant for Arturo.

He ground his molars down a millimeter.

Tre shlumped into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee, glowering when there was only half a cup left. It was then that he looked up and realized that the kitchen was actually full of his friends. He just hadn’t even noticed them when Caroline was in the room. Funny how that worked.

“What the hell happened to you?” Thea asked, staring at him, propping her chin on her palm. “You look like you got rolled by a fifth of tequila.”

“I’m not hungover,” Tre said for the second time. “I just happen to look like shit.”

With that, he plunked down at the kitchen table and commenced pouring himself a bowl of cereal.

It was then that he realized everyone was staring at him. He dropped the spoon with a clank.

“What?”

“You know what,” Celia said, flipping one page of a newspaper she was holding. “Is this your form of non-violent protest or something?”

Tre leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. He glared at the whole group. Only Martine, sitting at the far end, looked confused, like she might be missing one piece of the puzzle.

“I’m not an idiot,” Tre told them. “I know exactly what you guys tried to pull last night.” He glared at Jack and Jean Luc. They shrugged, almost in unison. “I won’t be managed.”

“Suit yourself,” Jack said, digging into his cereal. “Just trying to get you laid, buddy.”
Tre scoffed. That was one way of looking at it.

“Trying to get Tre laid?” Martine asked, trying to put the pieces together. Just then, Caroline’s laughter filtered down the hallway and into the kitchen. Martine watched as Tre’s typically serene expression turned murderous. The final puzzle piece rotated and fit smoothly in place. “Ah. I see. You want Caroline with Tre instead of Arturo. Very wise.” Martine’s eyes narrowed on Tre. “If he can pull it off.”

“Jesus Christ,” Tre grumbled, leaning forward over his food as the rest of the group chuckled, thoroughly enjoying themselves.

Their laughter cut off as Caroline floated back into the kitchen, a dreamy look on her face. She hummed to herself as she rinsed out a few of Arturo’s dirty dishes, a little smile at the corners of her mouth.

Tre swallowed the cereal in his mouth feeling like it was a fur ball. He ignored everyone. He ignored the entire world. In his eyes, nothing existed besides this bowl of flavorless cereal. And his scratchy-ass beard he wished he’d shaved. Realizing he wasn’t going to eat anything else, he stood up and took his bowl to the sink. Which meant he had to reach over Caroline’s shoulder to dump the soggy cereal into the disposal.

That warm vanilla smell of hers hit him in his gut and Tre did his best to ignore that, too.

“Are you sure you feel okay?” Caroline asked, placing a smooth hand on his forearm as she watched the rest of his cereal swirl down the drain. “You barely ate any breakfast.”
Viciously aware of all the attention from the group at the table, even while he was attempting to ignore them with every fiber of his being, Tre cleared his throat. “I’m fine, love. Really.”

Caroline really didn’t think that was true. A few days ago, she might have pressed Tre a little bit. Tried to figure out what he was hiding. But after that moment in his bedroom, she didn’t feel the same confidence in their relationship as she used to. He was just as sweet as always, but there was a just a shade of distance between them that Caroline hoped would dissolve in time. Maybe after she’d hooked up with Arturo, Tre would relax again. He’d realize that she definitely wasn’t going to throw herself at him again and he could feel secure in their friendship the way he used to.

It was yet another reason for Caroline to double down on her ‘seduce Arturo’ plan. That hopefully it would help her get her friendship with Tre back on track. She missed him. But she wasn’t going to beg for Tre’s company or for anyone’s. She was a lovely, desirable woman who needed companionship. Romantic companionship. And there was one person in this house who was willing to give it to her, no questions asked.

It was with that in mind that Caroline finished washing up her hands and turned to Tre.

“What song were you humming?” he asked her with a strangely annoyed expression on his face.

“Oh. Sorry! I hadn’t realized I was humming.” She colored. Her constant humming had always bothered Peter, too.

“No, it was pretty. I like when you hum.”

She blushed more.

“I was just wondering what song it was,” he finished.

She shrugged. “Sorry. I’m not sure.”

He was positive she’d just been humming a love song. His already bad mood instantly soured by a factor of ten. He did not want Caroline doing Arturo’s dishes and humming love songs.

“Caroline, darlin’,” Jack called from the table. “What’s your plan today?”

“Oh, well, Arturo still needs a lot of help. So, I’ll spend the day with him.” She floated over to the table and sat where Tre had just been sitting. “But I also noticed we need some things from the grocery store. So I think I’ll head over there midday.”

“I’ll go with you,” Tre heard himself say. He ignored all the faces that turned to him. All their smug, assholish expressions. “I need to pick up a few things.”

He didn’t need to pick up anything. But he couldn’t very well say that just hearing Caroline talk about spending the day with Arturo made him want to spit nails.

“Oh!” Her face lit up. “That’s great!”

“Totally great,” Celia agreed, smiling into her coffee.

“You girls gonna sip your tea all morning or should we get started on, I don’t know, practicing to fight a demon that’s trying to kill us?” Tre glowered at Jack and Jean Luc.

They just smiled right back at him.