Chapter Seven

Ivy rested her head back against the arm of the couch and closed her eyes. She concentrated on her breath, drawing it in to fill her lungs until they couldn’t hold any more and then letting it out slowly. She tried to focus on the feeling of the breath leaving through her lips and then filling her again, hoping that it would take away the disquieting feeling that had come over her again. Her hands rested on her belly and she ran them along the swell softly, willing the churning within her to stop. The fullness of her belly had increased considerably in the time that she had been back on Uoria. Both the midwife and Ellora had warned her that because she was carrying a baby that was half-Mikana, her pregnancy would progress much more quickly than if she was carrying a child that was purely human. That hadn’t prepared her, however, for just how rapidly her body was changing. There was no denying her pregnancy now. Anyone who looked at her would be able to see the way that her body had grown and the swell of her belly that cradled her child. No one had mentioned it to her yet, but she wondered what they thought when they saw her.

The baby was moving beneath her hands, making itself more evident than it ever had. She had felt the little flutters of the baby moving for a few weeks, but it had always felt more like a cascade of tiny bubbles flittering through her. Over the last several days the movements had become far more distinct, and now they were stronger than ever. She felt tiny feet kicking at her ribs and little hands pressing into the front of her belly. The more that the baby moved, the more uncomfortable she became. It wasn’t the movements that were bothering her, but the intensely swimmy feeling that continued to torment her. Now it was not just her thoughts that were foggy, but her vision that was blurring in front of her. Her heart seemed to be unable to maintain its rhythm and even with her concentrated breathing, she felt as though her lungs were empty and burning. She stretched her legs, trying to force her blood to move through her body more efficiently.

Somewhere in the unbalance around her she heard the sound of someone knocking on her door. Though she heard the sound and could process what it was, Ivy couldn’t bring herself to respond. It was as though her voice were lost somewhere inside of her and she wasn’t able to access it. The sound of the knocking came again, and Ivy struggled to push her voice out of her throat.

“Yes?”

“Ivy? It’s Ellora.”

Her voice sounded concerned, and a moment later Ivy heard the door open and footsteps rushing toward her. She felt a cool hand on her forehead and some of the fogginess dissipated. Her eyes opened, and she looked up at Ellora.

“Ivy? Are you alright?”

Ivy nodded.

“I was just resting,” she said.

Ellora nodded.

“I just wanted to check on you. I brought some things for you.”

Ivy let Ellora take her by her wrist and ease her into a sitting position. Everything seemed to tilt dramatically, but she was able to maintain control of herself and the strange feeling cleared slightly. Ellora settled onto the sofa beside her and reached down to pull a large box onto her lap. She removed the top and settled it onto the coffee table in front of them before reaching into the box and pulling out a stack of fabric.

“These are some simple gowns for the baby when it is first born. They are fast and easy to put on and comfortable for the little one. My boys went through a couple a day.” Ivy accepted the stack and ran her fingers over the fabric, emotion starting to build in her throat at the idea that she was touching fabric her child would wear soon. Ellora took something else from the box. “You won’t use these for some time, but they are the dishes that Maxim used when he was very small. I also have a few of his toys.”

Ellora quieted as she looked down into the box as if she was seeing something that caught her slightly off guard. She reached into the box and pulled out a blue blanket, then eased the box off of her lap and onto the table in front of her. She rested the blanket to her lap and touched her hand to it tenderly.

“That’s beautiful,” Ivy said. “Was it Maxim’s?”

Ellora looked up at her almost startled as though she had forgotten that Ivy was sitting there. She gave a brief shake of her head as she looked back at the blanket.

“No,” she said. “No one has used this blanket before. I made it when Maxim was a child, soon after Aegeus disappeared. I was in such deep mourning for him that I didn’t feel like I could ever be happy again. I didn’t think that there was ever going to be anything that was going to feel like the world had any hope. All I had was my children. Maxim and Kyven were the only things that got me up each day and the only things that kept me breathing. When I made this blanket, I was dreaming of a world that had more children in it who had Aegeus’s blood and would be able to carry him on. The world deserved more of him and when I thought of having grandchildren I thought of the gift that was to be given to the world. Not only would those children have the blessing of having either Maxim or Kyven as their fathers, but they would also have Aegeus as their grandfather. That was something that I could focus on that pulled me through some of the darkest, most painful moments.”

“Now you don’t have to worry about that,” Ivy said.

Ellora nodded and looked at her with a smile.

“Now I will have the chance to share in the wonder of a grandchild with my husband.”

Ivy could see tears forming in the older woman’s eyes and her heart lifted. The thought of having a child and sharing that experience with Maxim had given her such incredible joy, even in the moments when she questioned her ability to be a good mother and to live up to what this precious child deserved. Now she was realizing just how much this baby meant not just to them but also to the people around them, the people they loved and had built into their family, both by birth and by choice. This child represented more than just the love that she and Maxim had for one another. They were a continuation of the love that Aegeus and Ellora had for each other, and an example of hope and aspiration for Kyven and Emerie, as well as the others of the group.

Ivy knew that Ellora was fighting with each moment to hold onto the belief that her husband was still alive and that he hadn’t fallen victim to Ryan. Though the scientist had threatened him and made it clear that it was no longer the elder man of the family who mattered to him, but the powerful, youthful sons that he wanted under his control, Ellora wasn’t willing to give up the dream that she would one day soon be able to hold her treasured, beloved husband in her arms again. Learning that he hadn’t lost his life so many years ago when he was in the battle had been one of the greatest shocks of her life, but also one of the greatest joys and she wasn’t going to let that hope fade even for a moment.

Taking the blanket from Ellora’s hands, Ivy held it to her chest. She could feel the warm and the love in the very stitches of the blanket, as though Ellora had stored them there for the future child who would one day be wrapped within it. Ivy envisioned her own child in it, sleeping peacefully, and felt a flicker of nervousness. She was very aware of the world that she was bringing this baby into and the type of challenges that it might face. As long as it was held within her, the baby was safe and protected. As soon as it was born, she was going to have to trust the world to help her care for it, and the thought was unnerving.

“Would you like something to drink?” she asked Ellora, suddenly feeling extremely thirsty.

Ellora nodded and Ivy started to stand. As she leaned down to place the blanket in her place on the sofa, all of the swimmy feelings returned, and she felt intensely dizzy. She reached out for anything that she could grab to restore her balance, but there was nothing that she could do. Her body started toward the floor and she turned, forcing herself onto her knees rather than allowing herself to fall onto her back or her belly. Ellora gasped in fear and came down to kneel on the floor beside Ivy.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

She placed her hand on Ivy’s back and leaned down to try to look into her face. Ivy gripped her belly, feeling the baby moving faster and harder than she had before. She felt sick to her stomach and her heart was pounding so hard and fast that it felt as though it would burst. She knew that there was nothing that she could do to hide this any longer. No matter how much she wanted to convince both Ellora and herself that everything was fine, there was something happening, and she couldn’t ignore it any longer. Unable to speak, Ivy dropped over to her hip and curled so that she rested her back against the sofa and pulled her knees up. She looked down at her belly and saw it shift with the movements of the baby within her. As she leaned back, Ellora gasped again and Ivy felt her hands press to her belly.

“How long has the baby been moving like this?” she asked.

“It’s been moving more than usual for the last few days, but it’s been more today than ever.”

Ellora pressed her hands against Ivy’s belly and the baby pressed back. A controlled calm came over Ellora and Ivy found herself more nervous because of it. As long as the older woman was showing her own anxious reactions, Ivy felt that she wasn’t alone in the feeling of being out of control and not knowing what was happening around her. Now that Ellora seemed still and calm, Ivy felt isolated and alone, frightened in that she didn’t know what was going on or what she was supposed to do.

“Ivy, I need you to listen to me,” Ellora said as she stared intently into Ivy’s eyes. “I think that the baby is coming.”

The words sent a shock of fear through her and Ivy shook her head, trying to push back away from Ellora as she vehemently denied what the woman was saying to her.

“No,” she said. “It can’t be. It’s not possible. The midwife said that I still have time. She said that I wasn’t close yet.”

“Ivy,” Ellora started, but Ivy shook her head again.

“No. My belly isn’t big enough yet. The baby can’t be coming.”

“Opaline is a Mikana midwife, Ivy. She knows all that she can about the pregnancies of Mikana women and the delivery of Mikana babies. She was trained by women who have witnessed the birth of human babies. That doesn’t mean that she knows everything about a human pregnancy. It also doesn’t mean that she knows what to expect for a human woman who is carrying a half-Mikana baby. Your child is unique, Ivy. Your baby is unlike any who has been born and you’ve known that. You’ve known that there was uncertainty about how your pregnancy would progress and what it would mean for how long it would be or how your baby would be born. I know that this is coming as a surprise to you and you don’t feel prepared, but you need to be strong now. You need to be brave, because this baby is on its way and you will need to bring it into the world. We don’t know how this is going to happen, but you can’t think of yourself right now. Your baby is all that matters. We are all here waiting to love and cherish it, but in order for that to happen, it has to be born. Right now, you are all that this baby has.”

Ivy nodded through the tears that were stinging in her eyes. She knew that Ellora was right, but as hard as she tried to have the strength that Ellora told her that she needed to have, Ivy didn’t feel as though she could find it within her. This was all coming to her too quickly. She hadn’t wrapped her mind around it yet, hadn’t prepared herself for the reality of delivering her child, and now it was pressing down on her and there was nothing that she could do to stop it. In her life before she came to Uoria, she was accustomed to always being in control. She was used to everything being in place and her life being organized and precise. The moment that she arrived on this planet, this had changed, and now she was feeling this more than ever before. Rather than feeling like she was able to control her life and make the decisions that were right for her, determining her own path, she felt like life was pushing her, molding her to what it wanted of her. It made her feel out of balance and unsure, but she knew that there was nothing that she could do to stop it. This is what had led her into Maxim’s arms and what had brought her the baby that she was carrying now. She had to trust that even if she didn’t know what was coming and felt that she couldn’t handle what was being asked of her, it was what was right.

Another rush of the dizzy feeling came over her and Ivy reached out to grasp Ellora’s wrist. She squeezed her eyes closed to brace herself against the feeling. When it was over, she opened her eyes and looked at Ellora.

“I can’t do this without Maxim,” she said.

“Ivy,” Ellora started, but Ivy shook her head emphatically.

“No, Ellora, I can’t. I can’t do this without him. I have to have Maxim.”

Ellora looked like she wanted to argue, but then her face softened and she nodded, reaching forward to brush a strand of hair away from Ivy’s face.

“Alright,” she said. “There’s only one person I know that might be able to get him to you.”