The words hung in the air, thick and heavy, surrounded by her uncontrollable sniffles. She was never so weak as to cry like this, but…it couldn’t be helped. It seemed that her pregnancy would be an emotional one.
His hand paused on her back. She feared he would send her away, that he would resign her to a life of unhappiness. She feared that her words would be thrown back in her face.
If that happened, how could she bring herself to tell him the news of their bairn? How could she say that he was going to be a father without making it seem as if she was trying to keep him by her side, when he wanted nothing to do with her?
She knew, as well as she knew herself, that if she said anything to him… He would put aside his feelings. He would step up as a father and do everything to protect his bairn, even if that meant joining a loveless marriage. She would watch him from a distance, thirst for him. Thirst for his love, his passion.
While he…was only with her for the bairn.
The outcome was bleak. Painful.
“I could never hate ye’.” At first, she almost couldn’t hear the words, her hair muffling the sound. When he spoke again, he pulled back just enough to stare her in the eyes. “Never could I hate ye’, lass.”
“Then why…why didn’t you come sooner?” she asked, her teeth worrying her lower lip. “I thought—I thought you would hate me for leaving with my father when you needed me most. I thought—I thought you’d be disappointed in me…”
His eyes closed and he took a trembling breath. “Nay, lass. I—I reached out to ye’ every day. I sent missives to ye’, to yer father. I sent my squire at one point. I sent a carrier pigeon. Short of coming here myself, I did everything I could to reach ye’ until I could no’ take it anymore.”
“I… I’m failing to understand,” she said, frowning and wiping her cheeks clear of tears. “I never received anything. I would ask my father every morning to send word to you, and—“
She froze, eyes widening.
“My father… He kept them hidden from me, didn’t he?” Even though it was impossible for either of them to know whether that was true or not, she started to see red. “I can’t believe him!”
“Now, lass,” Alec said slowly, putting his hands on her shoulders when she would have angrily stood. “I’m sure he only did it to protect ye’—“
“From what, though?” she snapped, pushing his hands away. “He was keeping us from each other. How can he say that he wants me to be happy if he knew you were trying to reach me?”
“Lass—“ He rose to his feet with her, attempting to calm her down. The thing was, she didn’t want to be calm. She wanted to be angry—she had every right to be! For two moons, she had wallowed in her room, pining after this man…and all the while, her father had been keeping letters from her?
“I’m going to talk with him,” she hissed. “Let me go!”
He took hold of her shoulder, firm enough to stop her but not so much that it hurt. The shawl was a thin material, and when he grabbed, she resisted. It slid away from her shoulders and off completely, leaving her there in the open, with nothing to protect herself.
She froze, facing away from him.
“I need that,” she said quietly, refusing to turn toward him. “Hand it back.”
“Nay, what ye’ need to do is calm down. Yer getting angry with yer father—do ye’ really think approaching him like this will help our case at all?”
“Alec,” she said gravely, hands clenching at her side. “Please. Hand me my shawl. I don’t—I don’t want you to see me like this. Please.”
Something about the tone of her voice must have given her panic away, because there was a tense silence. Still behind her, yet closer now, she heard him ask, “Why?”
She should tell him. There was no reason he shouldn’t know—they had resolved their biggest issue. Neither hated each other, and she wouldn’t be stuck in a loveless marriage with a man only their for the bairn. Now, if she were to tell him…
Nay.
Now was not the time. Not when she was so filled with anger, when there was still so much unsaid and undone between them. She wanted to wait—wait until there was a proper time to tell him that he would be a father.
Unfortunately, she didn’t think there would be a proper time. Not when he had his mind set on something.
“Alec…” she said, beseechingly. Desperately—A last-ditch effort.
“Ye’ve been over emotional,” he said, his voice coming a ways back from her, as if he’d stepped back to actually take in her full form. And that damn tone was present. The one she knew he would use until he found out the source of her despair.
“I never knew ye’ as a woman to cry, my lady… Yer shoulders and face appear thinner, and yet ye’ wore a shawl—when the weather barely calls for one. I’ve seen ye’ wear trews and a thin linen shirt in the early morning of the hours when the frost was still on the grass and ye’ never seemed affected by it.”
She hung her heart, heart hammering. To have Connor know had brought a sense of dread. To think that Alec was going to find this out on his own…it was terrifying. If he found out now, and thought that her father had kept them apart—had kept him apart from his own bairn…
The battle that would ensue would surely destroy them all.
“Yer frame is thin, and yet…yet yer hips are wider,” he noted quietly from behind her, that damn voice of his taking a turn for the softer side. “Yer hips are wider, and I just bet if ye’ turned around, so would yer bossom…”
He came up behind her, a hand on her shoulder. A hand that put just enough pressure to turn her around.
It wasn’t like she gave much of a fight, though.
Keeping the choked emotion to herself, she turned. Faced him. Faced the truth that he knew, even before he saw.
“And yer stomach…has a wee bump that was no’ there before,” he said, his voice barely heard through the rushing in her ears. By the look on his face, it seemed like he couldn’t hear them, either. The astonishment was too great on his face, too overwhelming.
“Alec, I—I wasn’t going to hide it from you for forever—“
He shook his head, reaching for her. She didn’t know what to do, so she did the easiest thing she could do.
She went to him.
She went to him, melted into his embrace. She bathed in the security of it, in the warmth of his body. It was only the two of them, in that vast forest. It was only the two of them, the gift of life between them, and the relief that couldn’t be described by words.
“Does yer father know?” he asked after a moment. She could hear the thundering of his heart under her cheek, could feel it. She shook her head against his chest.
“Nay. He…he doesn’t. Although, now I’m not so sure.”
“What do ye’ mean by that?” She could hear the suspicion in his voice, could feel his body tensing.
“Connor, my father’s advisor. He caught on right before I was to come to the stream with Leith. I don’t think he will go straight to my father—he is very…volatile right now. I believe he will wait until there’s a more appropriate time. Connor is smart about these things, you see.”
“Smart, my arse,” Alec grunted. He pulled back from her, just enough to stare down at her. “We need to have a talk with yer father.”
She nodded. “I know. It’s just a matter of talking to him before he runs your heart through with a sword.”
“Aye,” he said, pursing his lips. The need to kiss those lips rose inside of her—so she did just that. She leaned up, pressed her lips to his in a soft peck, and then came back down. She had missed him… Not just their bantering, or his mannerisms, but she missed the way he tasted and the way his lips molded perfectly to hers. “Och, lass. Ye’ can’t just kiss me like that—I’m liable to bend ye’ over a fallen tree.”
Her heart skipped a beat, and she grinned.
“I’m liable to let you, my lord,” she whispered, reaching for his neck. He grunted, but gave in to her silent demand and leaned down to give her a second kiss. This one wasn’t as quick—Nay, it was hot and long and everything she had craved during the late hours of night.
She reveled in the soft stubble against her chin, the gentle yet demanding sweep of his tongue across her lower lip. She reveled in the way his arms tightened around her body—up until he was ripping himself away from her.
“We need to stop,” he grated against her forehead. “We…need to stop, or I might just kidnap ye’ back to my keep.”
“Would that be so bad?” she asked, pressing a soft kiss to his jaw. “I am carrying your bairn, my lord. I shouldn’t be separated from you. Who knows what sort of craziness I might succumb to without you here to help me?”
He tensed.
“Lass, as much as I dislike yer parents right now, I donna think setting fire to the keep is in your best interest.”
She laughed. “Fire? Nay, I wouldn’t set it on fire! I might let loose a few pigs in the main hall, though. I tend to be a bit vengeful when I’m cooped up.”
“Well, we could no’ have that, could we?” he asked, a grin kicking up the corner of his mouth. With a false heavy sigh, he scooped her into his arms and started away from their spot. “I best bring ye’ along, lass. I canna, in good conscious, leave you here to wreak havoc upon this unsuspecting keep.”
She laughed, holding onto his neck as he carried her. At first, she thought he was jesting—surely he couldn’t mean to actually steal her away? Not that she wouldn’t love for him to do so, but the ramifications of him doing so…they were great. And terrifying.
“Alec, you’re not really going to kidnap me, are ye’?” she asked, putting a hand on his chest. Just a few paces away, a black stead was tied to a tree. She looked between it and him, worry coming over her. “You know my father will rain hellfire on your land for this—nay, not just your land. On you. Are you really willing to let your people potentially suffer the consequences of this?”
He looked at her, the gravity of the situation reflecting on his face.
“My people would fight and die for you, lass. Yer carrying my heir. The second my seed was planted inside of you, you became one of us, whether we all knew it right away or not. And I meant what I said all those moons ago, about taking your hand in marriage—if you’ll have me.”
He…was giving her the option?
Tears welled in her eyes.
“Alec…” She didn’t know what to say.
“Lass,” he said, glancing away from her. “If ye’ want me to put ye’ down right here, I will. But ye’ must know—I love ye’. I love ye’ because of how strong you are, how beautiful ye’ are. How kind and creative and stubborn ye’ are. I love how ye’ live by the seat of yer trews and yer not afraid to put me in my place when I need it. It’s because of how much I love ye’ that if ye’ want to stay…I’ll let ye’, but I will be back. I will be apart of my son or daughter’s life, whether anyone likes it, yer father be damned.”
“Oh, god,” she said, the words choked by emotion. “Alec—Alec, I know… I know we have our differences sometimes, and you do that damn insufferable deducing thing as well as many others, but I—I want to be with you.”
He looked down at her, chest rising as fiercely as his heart pounded between them.
“Blayne—“
“Take me with you,” she said, putting a finger to his lips. She stared into his eyes, the only way she knew how to convey how utterly serious she was. “Take me home.”