Chapter Twenty
The sounds of a carriage arriving reached Whitney’s ears, but she refused to go and look out to the drive. It would probably be Miss Quartermane and her parents calling again, casting pitying eyes on her because she was a spinster and firmly on the shelf. She needed a moment to prepare for that conversation again.
Whitney had chosen not to marry in the pursuit of her dream, because if she married, she feared she’d never be able to travel. A husband could prevent her leaving and using her own money. A husband would want a family. A son.
If Whitney ever married, had a child and gave up her dream, she feared she would grow to resent her husband and child because she felt unfulfilled.
Whitney refused to martyr herself.
If she married at all, then it would be after her dreams had come true first. Few understood. Miss Quartermane always dismissed her desire to improve herself as inconsequential.
“So this is where you are hiding,” a stern voice complained suddenly.
Whitney spun about at the hail. “Exeter! What the devil are you doing so far from London?”
“Tagging along with my nephew’s family.” The Duke of Exeter strolled into the room. He seemed a bit crumpled but grinned nonetheless. Dear Lord, he was an appealing devil to look at. Tall, slender, and handsome, but he was also very easy to talk to, despite his lofty title.
“Miss Crewe,” he said formally.
Whitney curtsied. “Your Grace.”
They both laughed.
Whitney was glad of the distraction. Exeter was fun. He had never taken her teasing seriously. She narrowed her eyes. “Are you running away from your horde of admirers, or is it that you couldn’t bear to let the twins out of your sight again?”
“You know me too well.” He chuckled. “Twins are always a handful. How are you, Trouble?”
“Quite well,” she promised him.
Exeter drew close and peered into her eyes, then shook his head. “Say that again and mean it this time.”
Whitney laughed awkwardly and dropped her gaze. “You know me too well, too. But I don’t want to talk about it, if you don’t mind.”
For a moment, she thought he might argue, try to get to the bottom of her troubled thoughts. He was a frightfully observant man, and very kind, despite or because of his exalted rank and vast wealth. Thankfully, he let the matter drop with his next words. “Come and show me about this gigantic pile of rubble. It’s been a while since I’ve visited Twilit Hill.”
Whitney finished tidying up, removed her paint smock and led Exeter back the way he must have come, into the heart of the house. “Tell me the news of London.”
“Oh, much the same.” He talked of mutual acquaintances as they moved toward the study. Whitney led him to the whiskey and poured him a glass herself without calling for a servant to do it. They would be busy elsewhere in the house, settling the new guests most likely.
“To ease the ache travel brings,” she murmured as she slid a full glass toward him.
“Are you suggesting I’m getting old and infirm?” he protested, but took up the glass anyway.
“You are old,” the Marquess of Ettington announced as he joined them. He rubbed his hands together. “I thought I heard whiskey calling my name. May I?”
“Of course.” Whitney poured another glass for Lord Ettington and handed it over. She knew these men well. They were just like her cousin, too. They were good to be around, safe and easy to tease. “It’s good to see you, too.”
“It is nice to see you, Trouble,” Ettington promised. “How is the work of making Taverham appear regal going?”
She laughed. “Very well, indeed. I’m surprised to see you here.”
The marquess sipped his drink. “Didn’t Taverham tell you to expect us?”
“Not at all. He mentioned the Carringtons the day before they arrived, but had not named anyone else.”
“Perhaps he wanted to surprise you with the arrival of your great admirer,” Ettington chuckled.
Whitney blinked. “My admirer?”
Ettington glanced between herself and Exeter, one brow raised.
“Nephew,” Exeter growled. “That’s enough nonsense.”
“Is it? You only agreed to accompany us after you learned Miss Crewe was here.”
“He’s following the twins,” Whitney joked, but she felt just a tiny bit uncomfortable. She liked Exeter, but not romantically. “And he knows I have no interest in matrimony, as everyone should by now.”
The duke nodded, eyes alight. “Which makes Miss Crewe the safest female acquaintance to have at a country house party. Plus, there’s never a dull moment with Trouble around.”
“Now that is high praise, coming from you.” Ettington shook his head and stepped back.
The duke took a mock swing at his nephew and the marquess backed all the way out of the room with his hands raised in surrender. “I’ll leave you to it.”
When he was gone, an uncomfortable silence settled between her and Exeter.
After a moment, the duke cleared his throat. “I regret I ever listened to my sister and encouraged that boy to talk.”
Whitney grinned. “Duly noted.”
“He’s wrong, you know.” Exeter sighed. “I just enjoy being myself with you.”
“So do I,” she assured the duke. After a moment, she decided it wasn’t too early to take a drink herself. Just one before the ladies returned downstairs. She was about to pour a glass when Exeter took the decanter of sherry from beneath her fingers and did the honors.
“So, tell me,” he murmured. “Who is he?”
“Who?”
“Ettington would say he’s my competition.”
“Ettington would be mistaken,” Whitney advised as she took her first sip.
“I’ve seen that expression on your face far too often these past months. Who is the man who claimed your heart but makes you sad when you think of him?”
She shook her head, staring into her glass. “It’s not like that.”
“Well, it damn well should be if there is any justice in the world,” he complained loudly.
“Exeter! What’s gotten into you?”
He scowled fiercely. “I tell you now if you have a chance to claim the one you love, do not hesitate. Do whatever it takes, break every rule to be happy.”
“I am happy,” she promised. She looked up into the duke’s face and frowned. “Did you lose someone you loved once?”
“No. I don’t know. Perhaps?” He shook his head. “And that, my dear, the unknown, is the worst of it at my age. I might have been in love once, but now I’m not sure it isn’t just my advanced years convincing me I might have missed something important in my life.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
He snorted. “Don’t pity me. I’ve had a damn fine life. And make sure you never pity yourself, either,” he exclaimed. “You deserve to be loved for exactly who you are. You are remarkable.”
“Exeter!” She fluttered her lashes at the compliment. “Such ardent adoration will give me unreasonable expectations.”
“Only if I was twenty years younger, perhaps,” he warned. “I’m much too old for someone of your tender years.”
Whitney laughed heartily. “You don’t seem that old to me.”
He studied her a moment, but thankfully let the subject of love drop in favor of talk of mutual acquaintances and the latest scandals making the rounds of the ton until the ladies joined them.
After that, Taverham’s guests—Exeter, Lord and Lady Ettington, the Carringtons and a few other couples—settled into a cozy chat until dinner was announced.
But through it all, Whitney couldn’t forget what the duke had suggested to her about chasing love. She’d not truly tried to win a man she admired for herself. She’d given way where Lord Acton was concerned, allowed him to go ahead with his ridiculous plan to choose another to marry.
But that spark of desire still burned hot between them, and she wondered about it more and more. She saw yearning in Acton’s eyes, eagerness swiftly followed by regret. Was there more between them than desire? Could there be? Did she dare find out before it was too late?
She was leaving the country, and she’d warned him she might never return. What might happen if she gave in to the pull toward him and actually chased a man?
Would Acton run away? Continue the engagement with Miss Quartermane, a woman he’d claimed to have never kissed? And if Whitney were brave enough to take a chance on loving him, would he grant her every wish she’d ever had and consider joining her on her adventures?
She had no answers, but time was certainly running out to decide if she should find out.