“Well, well, well, we thought you’d never awaken.”

Hannah blinked as she tried to register whose voice was speaking to her. Goodness, her body felt heavy, and her eyelids, too, for that matter. Was she under water? For that’s what it felt like. Like she was drowning.

“Water?” came the voice again, and Hannah finally opened her eyes enough to see the pale blonde head of her sister-in-law.

“Grace?” she mumbled, but it felt as if there was a ball of cotton in her mouth.

“Yes, dear, it’s me. Have some water.” Hannah tried to sit up, but her body wouldn’t allow it, so Grace put an arm around her neck and lifted her head to the glass. “There you are.”

The cool water made its way down her throat, taking that fuzzy feeling with it.

“Better?” Grace asked.

Hannah nodded. “Much. What time is it?”

“Late.” Grace placed the water glass on the side table and then perched on the edge of the bed. “Dr. Alcott will be here soon. Would you like something to eat?”

“He’s probably going to make me walk today, so I ought to have something in my stomach.”

“I’ll ring for your meal, then.”

Grace went about the room, calling for and speaking to the maid, then tidying up, even though there was nothing to tidy. She just kept picking things up and putting them back exactly where they’d been before. After several minutes of this, Hannah had had enough.

“Grace?” she said, halting her sister-in-law’s practices.

Grace stared at her with those wide, emerald eyes. “Yes?”

“Is something the matter?”

“Ehm…” she looked away and fiddled with a perfume bottle on the vanity. “Not wrong, really. Just…”

“Come now, Grace,” Hannah pleaded. “Whatever it is, you can tell me. I promise your secret is safe with me.”

“Well, that is just the thing.” Grace looked up and swallowed. “It isn’t a secret. As a matter of fact, you shall be the last to know.”

Hannah was starting to get irritated. What on earth was the matter with her sister-in-law? “Grace, I swear if you don’t tell me soon, I shall lunge from this bed and force you to tell me.”

Of course, they both knew that wasn’t true, but still, she had a point to get across.

“All right, fine.” Grace took a deep breath, her chest puffing up as her head lolled back to look at the ceiling. “The thing is…that is to say…”

“Grace!”

“I’m expecting!”

The world stood still. Everything fell silent. The only sound the whooshing of Hannah’s own breath in her ears. Her heart constricted, and tears filled her eyes.

“Oh, Lud! I knew I shouldn’t have told you.” Grace rushed to her side, nestling on the edge of the bed and taking her hand. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t you dare be sorry,” Hannah chastised her, while trying to swallow down the lump in her throat. “Just because I can’t have children doesn’t mean you shouldn’t, for heaven’s sake.”

“The last thing I wanted to do was upset you, but it was going to come out sooner or later, and I didn’t want you to hear it from someone else.”

“And I wouldn’t have wanted to hear it from someone else. I am so very happy for you, my dear Grace.”

“Truly?” Grace asked, her green eyes desperate for approval.

“Truly.”

And then Grace threw herself onto Hannah. Hannah hugged her back with a squeeze.

“Goodness, you can’t know how nervous I was to tell you,” her sister-in-law said as she sat up straight again. “Or how relieved I am to have done so.”

“Well, I’m sure it was a great burden, trying to keep it from me.”

They chatted on for a few minutes, and Hannah did her best to pretend she was all right. But in truth, she felt as if she were dying inside. Her heart ached, and her stomach churned. Was it possible to be so very distraught for herself, while also being thrilled for her brother and Grace? It seemed quite impossible, and yet, those two paradoxical emotions warred within her.

Hannah’s lunch tray arrived, but she’d lost her appetite completely. Instead of saying so to Grace, she simply sent her sister-in-law on an errand for her.

“Peonies!” she said, to which Grace blinked at her with great confusion on her brow. “I think they would brighten up the room, don’t you?”

“I suppose so. You don’t have any flowers, do you?”

Hannah shook her head, even though the statement was quite rhetorical, for one could plainly see there were no flowers in the room. “Perhaps you would be so kind as to go and get some?”

“Me?”

It was odd, sending her and not a servant, but Hannah wanted to be alone without telling her why. “You have such lovely taste. Please.”

That seemed to fluff her sense of pride. She smiled broadly. “All right, if you insist. I shall bring them back soon, I promise.”

“Don’t rush on my account,” Hannah replied with a forced smile.

Grace bounced out of the room and not a moment too soon. Hannah couldn’t hold back anymore. Ten years. Ten years she’d lain with that vile man, praying for a child, waiting, month after month in hopeful expectation, only to be let down over and over again. And then to know that Grace, who had been married to Evan less than a few months, was already with child… It was selfish and horrible of her to think this way, but she couldn’t help it. She wanted it to be her. She wanted to know what it was like to carry a baby in her belly. To know the joys of motherhood. And even the hardships! She wanted it all. But now here she was, a wounded widow, barren, completely pathetic.

The sobs came harder, robbing her of her breath. As she attempted to get herself under control, wiping her eyes and breathing as deeply as her lungs would allow, the bottle of laudanum caught her eye. She’d taken twice her dosage last night, which probably accounted for how late she’d slept today and how groggy she felt, but at least she had slept, hadn’t she? At least she hadn’t been forced to lie awake, thinking of all the ways her life had gone wrong. All the wrong decisions she’d made, the people she’d trusted and ought not to have. It took away the ache, and that was more important to her than anything just then.

Somehow that little bottle gave her new hope. Her sobs subsided, and she wiped her eyes before she reached determinedly for the bottle and spoon, uncorked the bottle, and began to pour the syrup onto the spoon. She swallowed down the first spoonful and then poised to pour once again.

“I do hope you’re not planning to take more than that, my lady.”

The unexpected presence in her room startled her into dropping the bottle. Panic settled in as she looked over the edge of the bed and saw the syrup spilling onto the rug. She looked to Dr. Alcott, expecting to see him rushing to her aid, but he only stood there, staring at her, complete and utter disappointment on his features.

“Dr. Alcott,” she breathed, feeling like a child who’d been caught stealing sweetmeats from the confectioner’s. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

“No,” he replied. “I don’t suppose you did.”

She looked down at the rug again, now stained with almost the entire contents of the bottle, then back to Dr. Alcott. “The bottle,” she said lamely, as if he didn’t already know it was there.

“I will ring for a maid to pick it up.”

“But there may be time to save the rest,” she cried, unable to control the panic she felt rising in her breast. “Won’t you pick it up?”

He looked to the bottle, and then to her. “No, I will not.” He crossed the room until he was at her bedside. “You sent your sister-in-law out for flowers?”

Blast it all. Hannah looked away, feeling foolish. “I thought they might brighten up the room.”

She dared a glance at him. He was staring at her, his features softening just a bit. She wondered what he was thinking—to be honest, the way he stared at her made her feel just the slightest bit of longing. Part of her wanted to reach out and pull him against her, feel his arms around her, tell him she was sorry for lying. But of course she didn’t. That wouldn’t be terribly proper of her. And besides, he was her doctor. It was his job to be kind and caring toward her, wasn’t it? Dr. Pritchard had always been kind, but then she’d thought of him more as a father figure than, well…

“Goodness, it’s warm in here, isn’t it?” she said, pulling at the collar of her nightgown.

“It’s actually quite lovely out today. What would you think about venturing to the garden?”

He might as well have suggested they venture to the moon! “I couldn’t possibly, Dr. Alcott. Why, I barely made it to the staircase the other day, and yesterday…well, I’m not feeling terribly confident right now.”

“But how are you feeling otherwise? Your leg, I mean?”

“My leg? Oh, well, I suppose it’s a little better.”

“Then why were you going to take another spoonful of laudanum?”

This last was asked with such grave seriousness that Hannah was hardly able to respond. For a long moment, she just sat there, staring at him, wondering what to tell him. The truth was always an option, she supposed. But she’d spent the last ten years appearing weak and meek to a man who gladly took advantage of her as a result. She wasn’t quite ready to let her guard down with this one, even if he was her doctor. But then, he’d caught her out, hadn’t he? Perhaps she could share only the most recent of disturbing events.

She cleared her throat and looked away. The way he stared at her made it very hard to look at him. If she looked too long, she would fa—

She stopped that thought in its tracks. Ludicrous. It was just that he was nice to her and not a relation. That was all.

“My sister-in-law,” she finally managed. “She delivered some news to me just a bit ago.”

“Bad news, I assume?”

“Actually,” Hannah gave an ironic little laugh, “quite good news! She is with child. Isn’t that just wonderful?”

She wasn’t fooling anyone, least of all him. He took her hand, which was shaking, much to her embarrassment. He patted it a few times and then looked her directly in the eye, nearly spearing her with his golden gaze. “It is high time you start living your life, my lady,” he said, and it seemed his words held something unspoken.

“Is that not what I have been doing?” Hannah replied, feigning confusion, even though she knew his words were not literal in the least.

“I don’t know your entire story, Lady Beeston, but I think I know enough. And I think we need to get you walking again.” He raised his slender eyebrows. “Dancing again?”

“I haven’t danced in years, Doctor,” she laughed. “My husband wasn’t the sort.”

“How unfortunate. I imagine you are quite graceful on the dance floor.”

“I was,” she corrected. “But I doubt I will be again. Out of practice and with a bullet hole in my leg—I hardly think those make for graceful dancing.”

“I admit, I’m not the most graceful myself…” There he was again, looking at her like that. “Perhaps one day I will persuade you to stand up with me.”

“Even if I went out in society again, it—”

She broke off, realizing what she was about to say—that he would never be invited to any type of ball or party that she would. Although, now she thought about it, there was a great deal of scandal around her now. Who knew what the gossips were saying about her? It was quite possible she’d not be welcomed into society ever again.

“I’m sorry,” she said, sobering.

“Don’t be. I’m used to being left behind, what with my sister being a viscountess and all.”

“Oh?” Hannah was certain she’d not heard about his sister before. Or had she? Maybe he’d said something about her marrying a Londoner. He’d omitted the part about the Londoner being a peer of the realm.

“Viscountess Wolverly,” he clarified. “Her husband goes by Wolf.”

“Oh, my,” Hannah breathed. She’d had no idea. “Why, I’ve attended quite a few functions at their home in the past. I didn’t realize Lady Wolverly had a doctor for a brother.”

“Few people do. I prefer a quieter life. Part of me wishes I could return to Ravenglass.”

“It’s nice there?”

Dr. Alcott nodded. “Lovely. Especially in the autumn, when the leaves turn red and orange, and the weather turns cool. Before the snow, of course. Makes it rather difficult to make house calls when the town is buried in snow.”

“I can imagine.”

“Now,” he said, standing to his full, impressive height. “How about that walk?”