Ward’s jaws hurt by the time they reached home, but he couldn’t make his muscles relax. She’d asked what he feared. The answer had burst into his brain and almost out of his mouth.

He feared trusting someone and being disappointed.

He didn’t mean trust them to fulfill an agreement, or to deliver goods they’d promised. He meant trust them to treat him kindly. By extension, he also meant to guard his boys from the kind of treatment he’d been subjected to.

But he trusted Freyda, and that frightened him. Especially when she was so adamant about wanting to manage on her own. There was no room in her life for failure or even for adjustment of her goals. That left no room in her life for someone like Ward—a disillusioned man with two sons to raise.

There was only one thing between himself and Freyda—their agreement to work together.

He repeated the warning to himself throughout the evening, after he’d tucked the boys into bed, and the next morning as he went to Freyda’s farm. Only a few more days were needed to get her crop in and their agreement would come to an end.

Then there was new land to plow. How would he manage the boys on his own? How would she manage the horses on her own?

She had Boots and Boss harnessed to the seeder when he arrived.

That answered his second question.

“You did it on your own,” he said.

“That’s my goal.”

Any hope he had that she might continue to need him faded. That was good, he told himself repeatedly as the morning progressed. The boys had settled down considerably since Freyda started caring for them. That gave him hope that he could take them to the field with him and let them play within sight.

His questions and doubts had been answered. Which should have given him a light heart.

It did not.

As noon approached, he tried to think how to ease his mind.

Nothing came except a great relief to see her walking across the yard to call him for dinner, a smile upon her face.

As he stepped into the house, he saw evidence of her having had a busy morning. Unbaked buns rose on trays. A spicy-smelling cake cooled on a rack. Dried apples soaked in a bowl. He’d noticed the roast beef she’d purchased at the store. It now simmered in a pot, the savory scent teasing his nose. The house was hot enough to fry an egg on the floor.

“I don’t have to ask what you did all morning.” He waved his hat before his face to cool it. No wonder the boys lingered outside the door.

She waved her hands around the kitchen. “I intend to impress my visitors.”

Tomorrow was Sunday and he knew she meant Anker and Lena. “I’ll be impressed if you survive the heat.” A plate of sandwiches stood in the middle of the table. “Let’s eat outside.”

She almost beat him out the door.

He grabbed a blanket on the way out and spread it on the ground. He asked the blessing and they ate in silence a few minutes with Smokey wandering between them, rubbing against whatever body part he encountered and purring loudly. Kit lay on his back and the kitten climbed to his tummy and sat down like it was his home. Kit giggled. The kitten readjusted himself.

Milo kept looking at his father until Ward asked, “Did you have a question?”

“How many more days until you’re done here?”

“You’re anxious to go home?”

Milo shook his head. “How long?”

“Three if all goes well.”

“Then what?”

Ward wished he knew what his son really wanted to know. “Then we go home.”

“Does Mrs. Haevre come to look after us?”

The question echoed in Ward’s head. A repeat of his own. He waited, hoping Freyda would answer it. Instead, she looked down at her half-eaten sandwich.

“Mrs. Haevre will stay here. She has her own place to take care of.”

Milo jolted to his feet. “If you get Mrs. Wright again, I will run away and never come back.” He took off as fast as he could run, down the trail toward home.

Freyda and Ward were both on their feet.

“I’ll get him,” Ward said. After all, it was his son, his problem.

He was out of breath by the time he caught Milo. He sat on the ground and pulled the boy to his legs. “Milo, you can’t run away because you don’t like things.”

“Mama did.”

“No, Mama was sick and weak and her body couldn’t fight any more.”

“She didn’t want to get better. She told me so. Said she was tired of little boys and farming and everything.”

Ward closed his eyes and rocked his son. He had no idea Dorothy had been so frank with Milo. “None of it was your fault. Mama wasn’t strong.”

“Mrs. Haevre is strong and she’s nice.”

“Yes, she is.” Ward added a few descriptors of his own—stubborn, determined, and beautiful. The first two meant she wouldn’t change her mind.

“Why can’t she look after us?”

“Because.”

“You told me because is not an answer.”

“I know, but it’s all I have.”

Milo got up from Ward’s lap and started down the trail toward Freyda where she waited. He murmured something that sounded an awful lot like, “I’m going to ask her.”

“No, Milo.” He hurried after the boy, but Milo was ahead of him and took Freyda’s hand.

She bent over him. “Are you okay?”

Milo nodded and gave Ward a victory look.

Ward leaned back on his heels and studied his son. Apart from pulling him from Freyda and warning him to not say anything, what could he do? And even if he did, Milo would simply wait until Ward was gone to say what he wanted.

“I’m going back to work.”

“But you haven’t finished eating,” Freyda protested.

“I want to get the crop seeded.” He grabbed a sandwich as he passed up what should have been a pleasant noontime picnic.

He returned to seeding and refused to look toward the house, knowing Milo and Freyda would be having a serious talk.

Maybe Milo could persuade Freyda to give up her dream.

And do what? Become his housekeeper? Come back and forth every day? Become a partner?

None of those felt right.

Would she become his wife?

He shook his head. He wasn’t ready to ask her to make that sacrifice—give up her dream for a man like him.

* * *

Freyda hugged Milo. “Promise me you won’t run away. Not from me and not from your papa. I would worry so and if something happened to you, I would be so sad.”

“Then you need to keep taking care of us.”

Kit had joined them and she pulled them both close. “I love looking after you, but I don’t think your papa wants another woman in his house.” Nor in his heart.

“Why not?” Milo asked. “You like him and I know he likes you. You never argue or fight.”

“We don’t, do we?”

“Then ask him if you can take care of us?”

“Oh Milo, I wish it was that simple.”

He pulled away from her. “You don’t want to.”

She caught him and drew him back into her arms. “I would like nothing better than to take care of both of you every day.”

“Then why don’t you?”

She could say it wasn’t her decision but then Milo would blame Ward. She didn’t want that. Nor could she tell him she couldn’t look after them because she had to learn how to break more land. That would make it look like her farm was more important than two precious little boys.

Her eyes widened as her life became as clear as the air around her. If she had the opportunity to choose, she would choose the boys and their father.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t a choice she’d been given.

“I just can’t,” she finally said in answer to Milo’s question. “But I intend to enjoy every minute of your company. Who would like to help me check and see if my baby chicks have hatched?”

“Me,” Kit said.

Milo sighed and followed along. “You and Papa are the same. He won’t ask you and you won’t ask him.”

Freyda guessed Milo had posed the same questions to Ward that he’d asked her and gotten similar answers. Which only clarified for her that Ward didn’t want to change things. Didn’t want another woman in his life.

The eggs had not hatched. She would have spent the entire afternoon playing with the boys but she had to put the buns to bake.

They accompanied her to the house. She allowed herself one quick glance at Ward. He didn’t look her direction. Three days he said. The middle of next week.

If only there was some way to make time stand still.

Ward worked until dark. Freyda fed the boys early and gave them baths in preparation for Sunday. She ate with them, telling herself it was only because she wanted to ice the cake and do a few things after Ward came in for his supper. The truth was she could have done them before he sat to eat, but something between them had shifted. At least in her mind.

Ward brought the horses in and took care of them.

She put his plate of food on the table and busied herself with icing the cake. Tomorrow was his birthday and she planned to celebrate it. Would he understand that she saw him as more than a man to do her farm work?

He eyed the single plate a moment then lifted his gaze to her, silently asking for an explanation.

“I have several things to do yet.”

“So that’s the way it’s to be.” He sat, quickly consumed his meal.

That’s when she knew he was aware of the question Milo had asked.

He got to his feet. “Thanks for supper. Come on, boys.”

She bade them all good night.

Nothing was said about watching for him to get home safe. No mention was made of swinging a lantern to signal his arrival.

So that’s the way it was to be.

But as she lay in bed, she wondered what all those good times had meant. The picnic. The rides to and from town. Telling each other about their happy times in the past and their not so happy times. She’d earlier agreed to ride with him to church. What was the point in taking two conveyances? And he’d agreed to join her and her family for Sunday dinner. After all, little Charlie would be lonely without Milo and Kit to play with.

She’d say something the minute she saw Ward to erase the strain between them.

All night, she tossed and turned, trying to think what she could say. She was no closer to having the right words when he arrived at her doorstep.

One look at the worried look on Milo’s face and the drawn lines about Ward’s mouth and she knew she had to say something. Anything.

Ward helped her to the seat. She didn’t release his hand right away.

He brought his gaze to hers, full of questions and uncertainties.

Her heart ached. The poor man had known nothing in his life but cruelty, unkindness, and neglect. She would not be guilty of adding to that burden.

“I stood on the step and waited until I saw the light in your kitchen window and knew you had arrived safely.” She held his gaze, letting him see what she meant. She cared about him and his children. She wanted them to be safe and happy.

He squeezed her hand. “Nice to know.”

She pressed the matter. “Nice to know you matter?”

“Uh huh.” He sat beside her.

She turned to the boys behind her. She stroked Milo’s cheek and brushed her hand over Kit’s head. “Every woman in church is going to envy me.”

“Why is that?” Milo asked.

“Because I get to attend church with the three most handsome men in the whole county. Maybe the whole of Dakota Territory.” She swung her arms upward. “Why probably all of America.”

Milo and Kit giggled.

Boldly, Freyda turned to Ward, silently demanding a response.

His grin was lopsided. His eyes dark with a deep emotion. “America is a pretty big place.”

“Yup. I know. Remember, I traveled across a good portion of it to get here.”

“To your farm.”

“To here.” She touched her finger to her chest then touched Milo and Kit, then tapped her finger to Ward’s chest. Let him think what he wanted, but she had never spoken truer words.

This was why she had come to America.

He caught her hand and held it at his chest. He didn’t speak a word but he didn’t need to. She could see the uncertain hope in his eyes. Perhaps it was up to her to remove the uncertainty. How she was to do that, or what it would lead to, she didn’t know and for now it didn’t matter. She sat back, content with the way things between them were at the moment.

After church, Anker and Lena followed them to Freyda’s farm. Charlie rode in the back of Ward’s wagon where there was a great deal of giggling.

Nels followed on horseback.

As soon as they arrived, Lena and Freyda set out the meal Freyda had prepared.

Eight of them sat around her table. Ward to her right, Anker to her left. The others filled in all four sides. She asked Anker to say the grace.

“This is lovely,” Lena said after she’d tasted the food.

“Thank you.” Freyda looked to Anker. “Well?”

“It’s good, but then you always were a good cook.”

She sighed and turned to Ward. “A good cook. That’s about all the praise I’ll ever get.” Then it hit her. She didn’t need his praise. Or anyone’s, for that matter. She knew what she was capable of. “But then, I suppose I will always be his little sister.”

Anker grinned. “Yup. Even when you’re old and gumming your food.” He illustrated, sending the boys into a fit of giggles.

Freyda looked down the table to her cousin. “Nels, you’re awfully quiet. Is there something wrong?”

“I haven’t heard from Inga, and I should have by now. My house is ready, though she will want to add the finishing touches.” He pursed his lips. “I guess I’m impatient. And lonely.”

The others had all had their share of waiting and loneliness and knew better than to offer empty consolation.

“So tell me about your house,” Freyda said.

He brightened. “It’s got a big kitchen and a dining room. The sitting room has a big window so we can see the river. I often see deer.” He puffed out his chest. “I want a big family, so I built four bedrooms. Enough room for six or more children. And I can add more rooms.”

Anker leaned forward. “You do realize, it takes a few years to produce six children.”

Nels shrugged. “Didn’t take you long to produce one.”

That brought a chuckle from the adults.

Freyda rose to get the spice cake she had iced and set it on the table.

“Today is June fifteenth.” She smiled at Ward and then glanced around the table. “It’s a special day. Can anyone guess why?”

“It’s Sunday,” Milo said.

“Your family is visiting.” Anker sounded like it could be the only reasonable thing.

“Those are good things,” she said, and turned to Ward. His gaze filled with confusion. “Today is Ward’s birthday. Happy birthday, Ward.” She handed him the card she’d made. It was nothing special. She’d done her best to draw purple flowers and had written a simple greeting.

May this glad time on you bestow

The choicest gifts the heart can know.

Would he understand her subtle message that she wanted to share more than work and tending children? She wanted to share her heart. His heart.

Everyone offered their best wishes.

Ward thanked her and the others, but she wondered if he was uncomfortable with all the attention.

She smiled as she cut the cake and served it along with coffee. It was time Ward saw he was a man who deserved to be given some acknowledgement.

The children finished their cake and were dismissed to play, but the adults lingered at the table talking about the weather and the crops and telling stories about life in Norway.

“I’d like to see this place.” Anker pushed to his feet. “Ward, do you want to show me around?”

Freyda was on her feet before Anker finished. “I think you’ve forgotten that this is my farm. I will show you around.”

Anker looked confused.

Lena sighed. “One would think you’d learn.”

Ward chuckled. “She’s right. It’s her farm. She’ll show you around.”

At Ward’s words, the anger left Freyda. “Thank you. You are welcome to come with us.”

He grinned at her. “I wouldn’t miss it.”

“Nor would I.” Lena followed them.

Nels, too, followed.

She introduced them to Boots and Boss, grateful when they came at her whistle. She and Ward grinned at each other, sharing the secret of her past struggles with the horses. She took them to the crop where the first little green shoots on the first row already poked through the ground.

Anker tested the fences. “Baruk left things in good shape.”

Ohh. Did the man not realize how he made it sound as if Freyda had nothing to do with the way things were? But she kept silent. Let him think what he wanted. She knew what she was capable of and, more than that, she knew why she had come to America. The knowledge gave her an inner peace and strength that no words could take away.

Anker examined the barn. Yes, it was true that Baruk had built it. And that Ward had cleaned the pens when Baruk lay sick.

The tour complete, Anker turned to Freyda. “Baruk would be proud of you.”

Enough was enough. “Baruk is dead, God rest his soul. He can’t be proud of me. Would it hurt you to say you’re proud of me? Or at least acknowledge that I’m managing fine on my own?”

“You are.” He crossed his arms and studied her. “I guess I never doubted you would. But—”

“Does there always have to be a but?”

“I can’t say if there is always one, but in this case all I want to say is, I want more for you.”

She hoped the look in her eyes warned him to not say anything more.

But Lena jabbed him in the ribs. “Anker, I think it’s time for you to acknowledge your baby sister is all grown up and capable of making her own decisions regarding her future.”

Anker wrapped his arm about his wife’s shoulders and smiled. “I’ll try.”

On a somewhat happier note, they wandered back to the house where she served them more coffee and the cookies she’d baked yesterday.

“It’s time to go home,” Anker said.

“I’ll be on my way.” Nels strode out to his horse.

Freyda hurried after him. “Nels, I know how hard it is to wait. Any time you’re feeling lonely, come on over. Anytime.”

He nodded. “Thanks. I might do that.” He swung to the back of his horse and, shouting good-bye, rode away.

Lena persuaded Charlie it was okay to leave because he’d see Milo and Kit again, and then Anker and his family left.

Ward stood at Freyda’s side until the dust following their departure had settled. Then he draped an arm across her shoulders. “I didn’t expect a birthday cake.”

“I know you didn’t. But it’s your birthday and it should be celebrated.” She saw hope and guardedness flicker through his eyes. “Life can be different than your past, if you so desire.”

He nodded. “I’m beginning to see that.” His gaze went to the road the wagons had gone away on. “I think their visit went well, don’t you think?”

For some reason his comment struck her as funny and she burst out laughing. “Thanks for standing up for me when Anker asked you to show him around.”

Ward laughed. “I couldn’t believe he’d ask me as if this is my farm.”

“Perhaps he will someday see that I’m grown up.”

Ward looked down at her, a teasing light in his eyes. “Grown up and capable of doing anything you want.” His smile faded and the light fled his eyes. “Anything you set your mind to.”

“I’m also grown up enough to be willing to change my mind about what I want.”

He looked into her eyes. She opened her heart and soul to him, let him see what lay there for the taking. She hoped for understanding to spring to his eyes but instead, she saw uncertainty.

Someday, she would see that change.

He touched her cheek as he removed his arm. “It’s time to take the boys home. They’ve got their chores to take care of.”

“Chores? I didn’t know.” Though they had helped her whenever she was there.

“Yup. They have two hungry beasts to feed.”

“Storm and Skunk.” She laughed.

He gathered up the boys, had them say thank you and goodbye. She hugged both of them. Thought about hugging Ward too but decided he must make the first move. And praise God, he did. He caught her shoulder and pressed his forehead to hers.

“Thank you for a very good day.”

She enfolded the gesture to herself as he drove away. She watched until they reached their home. Ward waved his hat and she lifted her hand in acknowledgment then went inside to tidy the kitchen. Her heart filled with joy.

She knew what she wanted. And it wasn’t to prove she could run her own farm. A verse she had read as she searched for answers the last few days said it for her. I being in the way, the Lord led me to the house. Of course it wasn’t the house that the verse referred to. That was about Abraham’s servant seeking a wife for Isaac. But she had no doubt that God had led her to the right place for her.

Now she just had to trust Him to heal and change Ward’s heart. How long, O Lord?