Chapter One
Kent, England
June 1815
WHAT KIND OF man would not do everything in his power to attend his wife’s funeral?
From her place several pews back, Hannah Fletcher stared at the cluster of family members mourning the late Countess of Hawkehurst. It was a pitifully small group led by her ladyship’s detested half-brother. Not one of them had cared for the countess as much as Hannah, her young son’s governess. The man who should have cared most of all was not even there to pay his final respects.
Hannah usually made an effort to think charitably of others, but that was not easy when it came to Gavin Romney, Earl of Hawkehurst. It was one thing to turn the other cheek to someone who had wronged her personally. Hannah had always found it much harder to forgive those who hurt the people she cared about.
Besides, if she let go of her righteous anger toward his lordship, she feared her exhaustion and grief for Lady Hawkehurst would get the better of her. She might disgrace herself with an outburst of weeping. Such lack of restraint would violate the commandments of the Pendergast School, which had been drummed into Hannah and her fellow pupils far more vigorously than the creed of Christian charity.
The Bishop of Kent had come to conduct her ladyship’s funeral. Though Hannah followed the service in her prayer book, listening attentively to the readings and making all the proper responses, part of her mind remained preoccupied with the earl’s absence.
For the past several weeks, he had been in northern France with the Duke of Wellington’s army, preparing to battle Bonaparte’s forces once again. At the pleadings of her ladyship, Hannah had written to Lord Hawkehurst begging for his return, but he had failed to heed her urgent summons. Hannah felt certain his timely appearance at his wife’s sickbed might have given her ladyship the will to fight for her life. At the very least, it would have brought some comfort to her final hours.
Hannah’s hand still ached from where the countess had clung to it, hour after hour, the grip growing gradually feebler. Her ears still rang with the poor lady’s repeated pleas for her absent husband and demands to know when he would come.
“Soon, ma’am, soon,” Hannah had crooned the comforting lie until she almost believed it. Then she’d made excuses for him. “It is a long way from France with the Channel to cross. And there is a war on, remember?”
Hard as she tried to sound convincing, Hannah could not persuade herself. This was not November or March, after all, when the Channel crossing might be delayed by rough seas. And His Majesty’s army had been marshaled on the French borders for weeks now, gathering strength and coordinating with Britain’s allies for an attack that would oust Bonaparte from power once and for all.
There had been reports in the newspapers of some noble ladies setting up house in Brussels to be near the action and keep the officers entertained. To Hannah that sounded more like an enormous house party than a war. Surely one man would not be missed, even if he did command a regiment of cavalry. If the earl had begged leave to attend his dying wife, Hannah was certain his superiors would have granted it at once.
Clearly Lord Hawkehurst had made no such request. Bad enough he had ignored her summons to his wife’s deathbed. Surely he could have made an effort to attend the funeral and pretend to mourn her passing.
So deeply absorbed was Hannah in her indignant brooding that she scarcely noticed the mournful hush of the congregation fall quieter still, as if everyone present were holding their breath. It was a hesitation in the bishop’s eulogy that finally roused her attention. Only then did she hear the ponderous tread of footsteps making their way up the aisle and see the heads of those around her turn toward the sound.
She followed their gazes just in time to catch sight of a man walking past her. He wore the scarlet coat of the Royal Dragoons.
His lordship had arrived at last.
He might have done better to stay away, Hannah reflected bitterly, than to disrupt his wife’s funeral by turning up late and in such a state. As he walked past her aisle seat, she noted with disapproval his disheveled appearance. His coat was dirty, and he stank of horses. Granted, the earl must have travelled in haste, but surely he could have taken the opportunity to make himself presentable during the Channel crossing.
Instead he looked as if he had not bothered to wash, shave or comb his hair in days. Besides the pungent reek of horse, Hannah also detected the sharp odor of spirits. How dare the earl show so little respect for his wife’s memory by coming to her funeral in a state of intoxication?
His lordship’s labored, unsteady gait convinced Hannah that was precisely what he had done. The harsh lessons of her girlhood and her regard for the late countess were all that prevented her from surging to her feet and denouncing Lord Hawkehurst in front of his family and neighbors.
To the bishop’s credit, he did not let the earl’s tardy arrival interrupt his fine eulogy. Hannah doubted many of those assembled heeded a word of it as Lord Hawkehurst reached the family pew and his brother-in-law slid over to make room for him. When the earl dropped heavily into the pew, the breathless silence of the congregation shattered into a buzz of muted whispers.
Jane, the head housemaid at Edgecombe, nudged Hannah, who ignored the sharp dig in her ribs. Instead she directed an indignant glare at the back of the earl’s head. She only wished he were aware of it. But in his disgraceful state, she doubted he would notice even if she were staring him in the face.
The final prayer was uttered, the final hymn sung and the soul of Clarissa Romney, Countess of Hawkehurst, was committed to the care of her Lord and Savior. Hannah took comfort in knowing her ladyship would find the peace and love in Heaven that had been denied her in this world.
The congregation stood while the family of the deceased made their way back down the aisle led by the earl. He was visibly staggering now, Hannah noted with barely suppressed outrage as he lurched toward her.
His dark eyes appeared glazed and absent. Then he met her baleful glare, which seemed to penetrate his befuddlement.
He stumbled to a halt in front of her. “I got your message, Miss Fletcher.”
Though Hannah could smell the spirits quite distinctly, they did not seem to be on his breath. How could that be?
“Thank you for sending for me,” his lordship continued in a heavy, slurred voice. “I came as soon as I could.”
How dare he make such a disgraceful spectacle at a ceremony that was meant to be solemn and dignified? The thought of such an insult to her ladyship’s memory brought a sting of tears to Hannah’s eyes. The rest of the mourners faded from her awareness as she focused with fierce intensity on the dark, rugged man before her. She forgot that he was a powerful peer of the realm and her employer.
“I sent that letter days ago,” she replied in a harsh whisper through gritted teeth. “Could you not have shown her ladyship a little more respect in death than in—”
Before she could say anything more that she would surely regret, the earl’s dark eyes suddenly rolled up and his rangy frame pitched toward her. Fortunately others nearby had the presence of mind to swoop forward and break his lordship’s fall. The brunt of his weight still fell on Hannah, who instinctively opened her arms to catch him.
She heard sharp gasps and a louder buzz of whispers as the earl’s dead weight pressed down on her. His head rested on her shoulder, his black hair grazing her cheek. Then, as swiftly as he had collapsed, other hands pulled him away from her and lowered him into the aisle.
His late wife’s physician rushed forward, tugging loose the earl’s neck linen and wrenching open the buttons of his coat. Though many people crowded around, Hannah had a clear view of it all from her place at the end of the pew.
A gasp burst from her lips when she saw that the right side of the earl’s shirt was drenched in dark blood.
From nearby she heard someone murmur, “He must have ridden here straight from the battlefield.”
Those words smote Hannah’s conscience a heavy blow. While she had been entertaining the worst possible thoughts about Lord Hawkehurst, he had been shedding blood for his country then travelling all the way from France wounded. Though she still could not excuse the unhappiness he had caused his wife, it seemed that in this instance she had misjudged the man.
As the doctor strove to revive his lordship, Hannah overheard a doleful whisper from one of the other onlookers. “Those poor children. I pray they will not lose both their parents within a fortnight.”
The children! Hannah jerked a hand to her lips to stifle a cry. Five-year-old Peter had taken his mother’s death very hard. What would become of him if he lost his father so soon after? And the precious newborn twins—she could not bear to think of them being orphaned before they were a month old. Their mother had entrusted all three children to her care with practically her dying breath. If their father lived, he might respect his late wife’s wishes. Otherwise guardians would take charge of the Romney children. Those guardians might have their own ideas about how they ought to be raised and educated—ideas that would not include a humble governess making decisions about their upbringing.
For the sake of those dear children and the promise she had made to their dying mother, Hannah knew she must do everything in her power to make certain Lord Hawkehurst survived.
Every time the hooves of his charging horse hit the ground, it jolted Gavin and drove a red-hot poker of pain through his side below his ribs. But he dared not slow his mount’s headlong gallop. Indeed, he must urge it to greater speed. A narrow gap in the French lines was closing fast. If he could not squeeze through, that would be the end of him and poor Molesworth.
Gritting his teeth against the stabs of pain, Gavin tightened his knees around his horse’s straining barrel. Then he bent low in an effort to secure his wounded comrade, who hung over the beast’s withers. Gavin had no idea where he’d found the surge of strength to hoist Molesworth up in front of him. Perhaps it had come from the same source his horse now called upon to fuel its desperate dash.
As it galloped through the gap in the lines, Gavin caught a confused glimpse of scarlet coats. Some of his Royal Dragoons must have braved the murderous French fire to wedge open a route of escape for him.
The fools! A groan of dismay rumbled through Gavin’s chest and rose to his parched lips. Somehow it wrenched him away from the battlefield into a place of dark, eerie silence.
“There now.” A quiet voice penetrated the stillness to reach him. “Don’t fret yourself.”
Not fret? How could he? He must find out what had become of Molesworth and the men who had risked their lives to give him a chance. There was someone else, too—someone who needed him as urgently as his fallen comrades.
“Rest and try to recover your strength.” It was a woman’s voice. Her words were accompanied by a swipe of something cool across his brow.
His strength? Now that she mentioned it, Gavin realized he did feel weak. Though the pain in his side had eased to a dull throb, it cost him enormous effort to move his leaden, aching limbs.
But he could not just lie there, wherever there might be. He had a vital mission to carry out, and there was no time to lose. If only he could remember what he was meant to do then muster the strength to do it.
“You must not give up!” another woman insisted. Her tone was emphatic and determined, in sharp contrast to the other’s gentle murmur. “You are a soldier and a very brave one. You must fight now for your life!”
Her peremptory order roused his resentment. He had spent years in His Majesty’s service, driving Bonaparte’s forces out of Portugal and Spain. He did not need anyone telling him to fight!
That flash of anger roused his consciousness, forcing the darkness to loosen its grip on his mind. He must open his eyes to discover the identity of these women who hovered about, by turns soothing and inflaming him. He had a nagging conviction that he should recognize their voices, but his memory refused to cooperate.
When he struggled to raise his eyelids, he found them every bit as obstinate. His thoughts seemed mired in thick black mud, sucking him into the depths of oblivion, where neither entreaties nor commands could reach him.
For a time he surrendered to it. Part of him felt ashamed for not fighting harder, but another part welcomed the opportunity to forget.
A while later—he could not tell whether it had been an instant or many long hours—one of the voices again invaded his tranquil darkness and strove to lure him out of it. “You are going to live. You must, for the sake of your children. They need you, and I refuse to let you abandon them.”
His children! Gavin could not ignore the challenge and the plea in the woman’s words. Was that the mission he’d sensed deep in his bones but could not remember? He must return to his children and protect them.
He wanted to tell the woman he would never think of abandoning his family. But his tongue felt parched and swollen. When he tried to speak, it would not budge. The best he could do, with enormous effort, was to turn his head away from the voice in denial of her accusation.
“You can hear me.” The other woman spoke—the gentle one. She sounded exhausted but encouraged. “I feel certain you can. It was the mention of your children that roused you, wasn’t it? You cannot bear for them to be left all alone without a parent’s love and protection.”
Gavin knew more about parental judgment and censure. He was far from certain he had it in him to be a better kind of father. But what choice did he have?
An arm slipped behind his shoulders, raising his head. The pain in his chest sharpened again, and a wave of dizziness washed over him. Unpleasant as those sensations were, they pushed him closer to full consciousness.
He felt the rim of a cup press against his lips. When a trickle of cool liquid ran into his mouth, he was able to swallow it gratefully.
“I cannot bear that thought either,” the voice whispered from so nearby it seemed almost to come from his own thoughts. “I know how it feels to grow up that way, and I would not wish it on any child, least of all your dear little ones.”
The wistful sorrow of her entreaty penetrated deep and sank a hook into Gavin’s heart.
“Have a little more water,” his attendant urged him. “Then I will give you some broth. You must be starved, and you will need your strength to heal.”
Though the darkness tried to tug him back into its peaceful depths, Gavin found he could not give in so easily this time. Something in the voice made him want to keep listening, even when he must exert himself to maintain a glimmer of awareness.
He swallowed several more sips of water then received the promised broth. He savored the hearty flavor on his tongue while his empty belly welcomed the warm nourishment. He was completely at the mercy of the woman who tended him.
Yet never in his life could he recall being so tenderly cared for.
Would the earl recover?
An anxious shadow in the physician’s eyes chilled Hannah. Yet it made her more determined than ever not to give up the fight for his lordship’s life. For as long as she could recall that had been her natural reaction to any challenge or adversity—to work harder. It had not always yielded the result she desired, but at least the effort helped to keep her fear at bay.
“You should get some rest yourself, Miss Fletcher.” The doctor shook his head gravely as he rose from examining Lord Hawkehurst. “First the birth of the twins, then her ladyship’s illness and now this. You must be exhausted.”
He did not mention that it was most irregular for a governess to tend the master and mistress of the house in this manner. Everyone at Edgecombe had become accustomed to the reliance Lady Hawkehurst placed upon Hannah Fletcher. Her position in the household had become more like that of a trusted relative than a mere hireling. Because she did not take advantage of her authority or impose on the servants, they had long since accepted the situation. Now, with her ladyship in her grave and his lordship’s life hanging by a thread, everyone looked to her for direction.
“I appreciate your concern.” Hannah struggled to suppress a yawn that would betray her fatigue. “But I have been accustomed since childhood to do without a great deal of sleep.”
Her answer did not appear to satisfy the doctor. “Be that as it may, you must not allow yourself to become run-down and prey to illness. How would they manage at Edgecombe if you were incapacitated?”
His suggestion that she was indispensable to the family acted like a tonic on Hannah, infusing her with new energy—though she doubted it would last long. “I promise I will not neglect my own health, Doctor. But until his lordship is out of danger I feel I owe it to his wife’s memory and to their children to do all I can for him.”
“I understand,” Dr. Hodge conceded, perhaps because he’d witnessed the promise Lady Hawkehurst had exacted from Hannah in her final hours. “When there is an outbreak of sickness, I am often obliged to tax my strength for the good of my patients. But do try to delegate some of your less pressing duties in the meantime.”
“I have,” she admitted, relieved to receive the doctor’s support. “Young Lord Edgecombe is still too upset by his mother’s passing to concentrate on his lessons. I thought it would be better for the poor child to have as much diversion out of doors as possible. The servants have been very kind to assist me. They take him out to dig in the garden and visit some of the tenant farms to see the animals. He enjoys going for rides in the pony cart with the coachman.”
“Excellent.” The doctor began to pack away his instruments. “The more fresh air and activity the child gets the better he will eat and sleep—all of which will help him recover his spirits.”
Hannah tried to spend as much time with her young pupil as she could, so as not to disrupt his life any worse than it had been already.
“Have you been to check on the babies?” she asked. “From what I can tell, they seem to be thriving.”
She made an effort to visit them as often as possible, taking Peter along in the hopes of fostering a bond between the three children that might compensate a little for the loss of their mother. Hannah knew from experience how important that could be.
The physician nodded. “They are indeed. Growing nicely and both good-tempered from what their wet nurses report. I congratulate you, Miss Fletcher, on getting them so well settled during such a difficult time.”
“Thank you, sir.” Hannah appreciated his recognition of her efforts.
She did not expect any such praise from the earl, if and when he recovered. During his brief time at home during the fleeting months of peace, Lord Hawkehurst had seemed to resent her position in his household and her closeness to his wife. Hannah reminded herself she could accept his ill will if only he would live.
“What about his lordship?” She glanced toward the master, his rugged features so still and his skin strangely pale beneath his soldier’s tan. It made a stark contrast to the bristling black stubble over the lower part of his face. “Will he live to see his new son and daughter? I cannot abide the thought of them losing both parents with no memory of either.”
An anxious frown gripped the physician’s craggy features. “I still cannot say for certain. The bleeding has been staunched, and the wound is healing. Both of those are in his favor. But he lost a great quantity of blood when his wound reopened during the strenuous journey from France. He should have waited to travel until it had healed better. Though I suppose, under the circumstances…”
A sharp barb of guilt worked its way beneath Hannah’s defenses. It was her letter that had summoned the earl home, fresh from the battlefield. Since then, news of the near-run allied victory at Waterloo had spread through the country. It made Hannah repent many of the harsh things she’d thought about Lord Hawkehurst during those anxious last days of the countess’s life.
If only she might have an opportunity to make it up to him.
Too often, in the past, her failings had cost others dearly. Always those she cared about most. Each time she had vowed to do better in the future. Would it ever be enough? Perhaps the answer was to keep herself from caring too deeply.
“Why will he not wake?” Hannah fought a rising tide of helplessness that threatened to sink her spirits. She would work harder to bring about the earl’s recovery if only she knew what to do. “Now and then I feel as if he can hear me. But other times he seems scarcely to be alive.”
“It is worrying.” Dr. Hodge sighed. “Though I hope it may only be his body’s way of allowing itself time and rest to heal. I have known Lord Hawkehurst since he was a boy, and he has never been one to keep still for long. Provided this state of unconsciousness does not persist, it may ultimately benefit his recovery.”
Hannah tried to draw encouragement from the doctor’s words as she bid him good-night. She would have found it easier if his tone and gaze had not betrayed quite so much doubt.
All the while Dr. Hodge poked and prodded, Lord Hawkehurst had seemed altogether insensible. Once the physician left, however, the earl grew suddenly restless. His eyes moved beneath their closed lids, darting this way and that. His hands began to twitch over the bedclothes. Low, incomprehensible sounds escaped his lips.
Hannah kept an anxious vigil over him. Perhaps the doctor was right about his lordship’s earlier deep sleep giving his body an opportunity to heal. She feared this agitation might have the opposite effect. What if his movements grew more violent? Might the earl tear open his wound again? According to the doctor, he could not afford to lose more blood.
“Hush, now.” She spoke in a gentle murmur she might have crooned to young Peter when he woke from a nightmare. “You must not upset yourself. There is nothing you need fret about. You are tucked up safe at home now, and no more harm will come to you if I can help it.”
Was this her fault? Had her exhortations to fight for his life somehow roused his soldier’s spirit before his wounded body was ready?
“Lie still now.” She clasped the earl’s nearest hand in both of hers, hoping her touch might reach and quiet him if her words could not. “Rest and be easy. You are safe here, I promise.”
All her efforts seemed to have the opposite effect from what she desired. The earl began to thrash his head from side to side. Now and then he winced, as if aware of the pain from his wound. His utterances grew more forceful and more distinct.
“Please, your lordship!” Hannah begged, tightening her grip on his hand.
Then suddenly his eyelids flew open. The earl clasped her hand with greater strength than she had thought he possessed in his present state. He gazed deep into her eyes, his rugged features furrowed in an expression of intense concern.
Hannah could never recall him looking at her with anything warmer than barely concealed disdain. A breathless feeling of relief that the earl was finally awake collided with another emotion she could not readily identify. She had no time to sort it out, for no sooner did Lord Hawkehurst open his eyes than he began to speak.
“Hang on, Molesworth!” he rasped, clearly addressing his words to Hannah.
Had she misheard him?
The earl’s next words did nothing to dispel her confusion. “Come on, man. I didn’t pluck you out of Boney’s grasp only to have you desert me now. The surgeons will patch us both up good as new. Then we’ll make certain that warmonger gets what he deserves. No Mediterranean holiday to rest up for his next conquest.”
Though some of the earl’s words puzzled her, Hannah understood what he meant about Bonaparte. After years of war that had brought much of Europe under his domination, the French emperor finally had been defeated the previous year. The summer of 1814 had been crowded with jubilant celebrations of victory and peace at long last.
But the man whose towering ambition cost so many lives had never been made to answer for his actions. Instead, he had been permitted to retire to a small island off the coast of Tuscany to plot his return to power. Scarcely more than ten months after his defeat, Bonaparte had returned to France in triumph, plunging Europe into war once again—a war that need never have been fought. Small wonder Lord Hawkehurst was anxious to put an end to the emperor’s career of conquest once and for all.
The earl’s silence stirred Hannah from her thoughts. He seemed to expect some answer from her. What could she say that might reassure him?
“I shan’t go anywhere, sir. I promise.” She wondered if there had ever been such a person as Molesworth, or if he was only a figment of the earl’s troubled dreams. If the fellow did exist, what had become of him? “But you must lie still. So… er… the surgeons can patch you up. Will you do that for me?”
Would her answer help… or only make matters worse? Hannah wished she had not taken pity on the yawning footman and ordered him to bed once he’d seen Dr. Hodge out. She could have used a man’s help to subdue Lord Hawkehurst, if that should prove necessary.
She prayed it would not.
Her wordless supplication was granted for the earl’s anxious tension deserted him as quickly as it had come on.
“You have a bargain,” he replied in a thick, drowsy murmur. His grip slackened, and his eyelids drooped. “We will let the surgeons do their work so we’re fit to go after Boney. He won’t be leading any more armies after we’re done with him.”
No sooner had those words left the earl’s lips than his eyes slid shut and his breath settled into a deep, rhythmic drone. For a time Hannah continued to clasp his hand, for fear he might stir again if she let go. The sensation reminded her of how the poor countess had clung to her through the painful hours of labor and later how her grip had eased with her waning strength.
Blinking back tears she could not afford to let fall, Hannah released the earl’s hand. Then she raised hers to brush the dark hair back from his brow with a gentle touch that was almost a caress. His life still hung in the balance, but now it was not only for the children’s sake that she wanted him to live.