CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
It’s the night of the Snow Ball and for the first time ever, I’m actually looking forward to one of Mum’s big bashes.
For once I won’t be slinking in on my own, wishing the floor would swallow me up and desperately wanting to escape to my room. I’ll be with an amazingly handsome, talented, wonderfully charismatic man and I can’t wait to introduce Ethan to everyone.
I’ve bought a gorgeous new dress for the occasion and Jaz blow-dried my hair earlier. But as I stared in the mirror at my usual dark brown bob, I suddenly thought of the elegant women at the wine-tasting Ethan was chatting to. They all looked so sophisticated. Not a single ‘hick from the sticks’ among them. I mentioned this to Jaz and she frowned at my hair in the mirror and said she could try something a bit different for me if I liked.
So she curled my hair elaborately with tongs then piled it up on top of my head in what Mum calls a ‘bun’. Apart from the fact that I keep thinking I’ve got a bread roll on my head, it actually looks very stylish, although Jaz had to use an awful lot of hair spray to make it stay up.
‘There you go,’ she said when she’d finished. ‘Like Audrey Hepburn but a bit edgier.’
I almost dislodged the bun altogether when I was putting on my dress, but I used clips to pin up the few strands that fell down, and I’m just hoping it survives the evening.
Jaz also did my make-up for me and I told her to be adventurous. I was banishing the old, mousey me, and I wanted a grown-up look to mark the start of my new life. So Jaz really went to town with the black eye-liner, even painting ‘wings’ at the corners of my eyes that gave me a real Twiggy Sixties look, especially when she brushed blue eye shadow onto my lids and added a slick of sparkly pink pastel lipstick.
The result is quite astonishing. I don’t feel like me at all. I feel like Violet Harper in A Butterfly’s Wings when she rebels against the boring clothes and office job her parents shoehorned her into by joining the circus and falling madly in love with a sexy trapeze artist called Kristoffer.
‘Have you and Ellie made up yet?’ Jaz wanted to know.
I shrugged sadly. ‘I’ve told her I’m sorry for calling her paranoid. But she just refuses to listen. And I can’t work in an atmosphere like that.’
‘So you’re definitely leaving after Christmas?’
‘I’m not staying on when Ellie’s making it obvious she doesn’t want me there.’
‘Well, for what it’s worth, I think she’s being a bit paranoid, too.’ She sighed. ‘But at the same time, I feel like knocking your heads together. For goodness’ sake, sort it out?’
Now, I twirl in front of the mirror in my new pink brocade dress. I spotted it in the window of an expensive boutique and it caught my eye because it was the image of the dress that the stylish blonde girl was wearing at the wine-tasting. The one who dazzled Ethan.
I gaze critically at my reflection. I haven’t got the height or the elegance that she had – but this dress certainly wasn’t cheap (I tried not to gasp when I saw the price tag) and wearing the most expensive dress I’ve ever bought makes me feel like a million dollars.
I take a deep breath and adopt one of Rob’s super hero power poses, raising my arms in the air victoriously.
I went over to see Rob earlier at the shed. Dad had got the snow machine working and I wanted Rob to see it in action. It was his idea, after all. But when I got there, he was finishing up for the day and seemed eager to leave.
‘I’ll see you later, Fen. At the ball.’
‘I’m glad you’re coming,’ I said, watching him unzip a sports bag and draw out a clean blue checked shirt.
He shrugged. ‘It’s not really my thing but I appreciate the invitation, and Dad and Sylvia are going. I’m meeting a mate at the pub for a drink first.’
He stripped off his work T-shirt quite unselfconsciously and threw it into the bag. And my breath caught in my throat.
Frozen with surprise at seeing a man naked to the waist for the first time in years, I tried not to stare at the unexpected beauty of his broad chest and the way the muscles in his shoulders flexed as he drew on the clean shirt.
‘You’ll be at the Snow Ball with Ethan, I suppose?’
I was vaguely aware of Rob saying something but I seemed to be transfixed by his fingers, buttoning up the shirt.
‘Fen? Are you okay?’
‘Yes. Er . . . yes, Ethan’s arriving at seven-thirty.’
He nodded, showing no reaction either way. I suddenly wondered if he’d thought we might go to the ball together.
‘Anyway, better go. See you later, Fen.’ He slung the sports bag over his shoulder, gave me a brief smile and walked out.
A draft of cold air entered the barn as he left and I shivered. Then I walked back over to Dad and the brilliant snow machine, feeling oddly disappointed that Rob hadn’t wanted to share the experience with me.
And now it’s nearly seven-thirty and Ethan will be arriving in a taxi any second.
Checking my hair one last time, I leave my bedroom and run downstairs to the hall, where guests in their finery are beginning to gather. Mum has brought in fir tree branches, pine cones and sprigs of holly, and painstakingly decorated the stair rails all the way to the top, winding hundreds of tiny fairy lights in amongst the greenery. It smells wonderfully Christmassy and looks amazing.
I have a feeling this is going to be a night to remember. It really feels as if my life is coming together at long last!
A dark cloud mars my happiness for a moment as I think of Ellie and how cold she’s been towards me. But I shrug it off, determined not to let my sadness spoil the best night of my life.
With my new look, it feels as if anything is possible.
Ethan has just sent a text to say he’s on his way and I want to be with him when he gets out of the taxi, so we can walk together through the swirling snow effect at the entrance.
So romantic!
Sure enough, a minute later, Ethan arrives and my heart lurches with pride as he steps out of the taxi, looking utterly gorgeous in a dark suit and white shirt beneath his navy coat. I run out to greet him, hampered a little by the stiffness of the dress and hoping my hair is still in place.
Ethan’s eyes open wide with surprise, and my heart misses a beat. Have I gone over the top with my look? But then he says, ‘Hey, you look great!’
We go in through the snowy entrance, although Ethan is a little preoccupied, looking at his phone, so sadly, he misses the gorgeous Christmassy effect. I appreciate it, though, ad it’s wonderful!
In the drawing room where the main action is taking place, I get him a drink and join him in the centre of the room, where he’s already chatting to some old friends of my parents. They’re laughing at something he’s saying about property prices and my heart swells with pride. I hand him his drink and edge closer so my shoulder is against his arm, breathing in his lovely musky Ethan scent.
He slides his hand round my waist and I sink my head against his shoulder with a happy sigh. I feel like a grown-up, being here with a lovely man and happy to stay and chat to people, instead of longing to escape to my room and get my nose in a book!
Tonight feels like a turning point in my life . . .
‘Come with me,’ he whispers urgently into my ear, and before I know what’s happening, he’s leading me by the hand out into the hall. Glancing around him, he pulls me into the cloakroom. It’s dark in there and suddenly I find myself pressed against the wall, being kissed very thoroughly.
‘Ethan, we can’t!’ I squeak when I’m able. ‘Someone might come in.’
He pauses and I can just see the outline of his features in the light from the window. ‘Okay. You’re right.’
Feeling a little disappointed that he’s giving up so easily, I follow him out. But instead of leading me back into the drawing room, he pulls me towards the main staircase.
‘What are you doing?’
‘Taking you upstairs to bed,’ he growls. ‘Where’s your room?’
We’re half way up to the first landing by this time and he’s trying to pull me further but I’m resisting. Part of me really wants to go with him. But we’re in my parents’ house at a pretty grand event organised by Mum and it just wouldn’t feel right.
Sadly.
‘Oh, come on. Don’t be a spoilsport,’ he urges.
We’re on the landing now and I can’t stop giggling. I hear a noise and glance down into the hall below. And there’s Rob staring up at us.
‘Fuck’s sake, Ethan. We need to go down!’ I yelp, feeling like the naughtiest girl in the class spotted smoking by my form teacher. Rob’s gone now but I’m still feeling really ashamed of myself. I hate the thought that Rob might think badly of me.
‘Rubbish,’ says Ethan, who’s clearly on a mission tonight. He swishes a curtain aside to reveal a low window sill wide enough to stand on. He pulls me up and the curtain closes behind me.
‘See,’ he murmurs. ‘No-one can see us now. We can do whatever we like.’
He pushes me against the side of the casement and starts grinding himself against me. It’s not the most romantic of encounters – especially since I’ve got the knob that opens the casement cupboard digging into my back. But it’s Ethan so I’m not about to complain.
He’s really getting into it – so much so that he starts murmuring urgently in my ear, which would be lovely if I could hear what he was saying. The fabric of my dress is a bit scratchy and with him rubbing against me, it feels a bit uncomfortable and distracting to be honest. Definitely not how I imagined our first truly intimate encounter would be like, but still . . . they often say the first time is just a warm-up for the main event . . . don’t they?
Suddenly, I realise Ethan isn’t murmuring sweet nothings in my ear at all – he’s actually humming. And my heart gives a sickening lurch as the penny drops.
I recognise that tune . . .
‘The Dam Busters!’ I shriek furiously in his ear and he flinches and stops what he’s doing. ‘I can’t believe it. That was you in the office with bloody Cressida before the meeting! Wasn’t it?’ I glare at him and he looks completely taken aback, like a schoolboy caught smoking behind the bike sheds. For once in his life, Ethan Fox is stuck for words. No amount of charm is going to save him now!
I feel his phone vibrate in his pocket.
With an angry exclamation, he grabs it from his pocket and glares at the screen. His face turns pale as a ghost’s.
Before I can ask him what’s wrong, he pulls away, yanks the heavy curtain aside and jumps to the ground. I go after him – just in time to see him running down the stairs and out of the main entrance.
Feeling bewildered and hurt, my head all over the place, I run down the stairs myself, wondering if Ethan’s phone call was bad news.
I run into Jaz in the hall and ask her if she’s seen him.
‘Ethan?’ She frowns, pointing outside. ‘He went that way. In a big hurry.’
‘Right. Maybe he’s trying to get a signal. The bastard.’
Jaz looks stunned, as if she mustn’t have heard me correctly.
I run outside, almost twisting my ankle in my high heeled shoes, just in time to see him get into a taxi. The wheels crunch on the gravel and I watch in fury and dismay as Ethan is borne away from me, along the winding driveway to the road, heading for who knows where . . .