Serene

EVERY BIT OF ME WANTED to run. To bolt out of the restaurant and never look back. Hail a cab back to my awful apartment, change my number and bury myself in work. Then all my secrets would be safe and I’d be safe in my little bubble.

Safe but alone.

Why had I spoken Italian in front of him? I couldn’t blame on the Mediterranean ambiance taking me back to my summers there. This restaurant was about as authentic as you could get outside of Europe but I’d been here before and never felt compelled to speak in Italian to the servers. The only thing that was different was Jeffrey. Did I want him to know? Was a tiny part of me trying to break free of all the walls I’d built by dangling a thread he was bound to pull?

Did I actually want to open up to him?

I looked him in the eye. Those goddamn eyes that peered so deep into me it seemed he already knew everything about me. I looked at him and his sweet smile and played back his story in my mind.

He’d been through so much. He’d found and lost the love of his life. I was fired because people thought I’d bought my success. He’d felt the deepest pain there was. I’d gotten my feelings hurt over a rumor. My baggage was nothing compared to his, and yet he was more willing to open up than me.

It was absolute nonsense.

I straightened in my seat and lifted my chin. “I’m an heiress. My father is the English equivalent of Bill Gates. I spent summers in Italy and France and Morocco and The Netherlands because he owns houses there. I don’t tell people because I get treated differently. It got me fired from my last position.” I paused, trying to find the words for the question I’d always known I’d need to ask if I ever opened up and let someone in. The question I was so afraid of. “Does the fact that I have more money than you insult your ego in any way? If it does then let me know now. I’d rather not start something bound to end badly.”

Jeffrey took a moment which I appreciated. I’d rather him truly think it over now than discover it later. “No, it doesn’t. As long as you don’t expect me to quit the university and become a kept man,” he said with a grin.

I laughed. Very hard and very loud. So hard people looked over at us.

“Of course not,” I said when I’d gotten control of myself again.

“Good, cause I like teaching and I like my students.”

Sofia cleared our salad plates and brought out the pasta course. I’d ordered the four course Prix Fixe for us so we were only halfway done. Jeffrey pushed his fork around in his risotto like he’d never seen such a thing. “I should have asked what you liked before I ordered for you,” I said.

“Don’t worry, it’s definitely not you. It’s me. I’ve got the palate of a four-year-old.”

“Really? Why’s that?” I asked.

“I’m not a very adventurous guy,” he said as he pushed the risotto around some more.

“Well, risotto is just rice that’s been prepared so it has the texture of a sauced pasta. It’s delicious.” Then I leaned in, lowering my voice. “Besides, I’d say you’re a very adventurous guy especially when it comes to the bedroom.”

Jeffrey’s eyes flashed with a smile. “That completely different,” he said as he braved the foreign food and put a tiny bit in his mouth. “Oh, this is good,” he said and took another bite. “It’s creamy and buttery and kind of meaty.”

“Glad you like it,” I said and took a bite of my own pasta.

“You know, this is one of the things Natasha made me promise when she died,” Jeffrey pointed to his bowl and forked another bite.

“She made you promise to eat risotto?”

He smiled. “Kind of. She made me promise to keep trying new things. Things that were out of my comfort zone because she knew if it were up to me I’d stay in my cozy bubble and never leave it.”

I could relate. The reasons were different but the two of us built comfortable walls to hide behind. And now we were figuring out how to take them down, brick by brick.

I didn’t ask what else he’d promised her. I didn’t want to push. I figured he’d tell me when he was ready.

After we’d finished the pasta course, Jeffrey leaned back in his chair and patted his stomach. “That was excellent,” he said.

“I’m thrilled you liked it. They’ll give us a few minutes before bringing out the main course.”

He looked relieved. “Good. I need a few minutes.” He refilled our glasses and raised his. “To us,” he said. “I’m so glad we keep finding each other.”

I beamed at him as we clinked glasses and wondered how much longer the next two courses would take. I really wanted to get out of here.

Jeffrey downed his glass and leveled a serious gaze on me. “I do have something I need to tell you.”

“Okay,” I said suddenly very nervous.

“Reed wants to extend my contract. He wants me to oversee the...” He kept talking but all I could hear was my own heartbeat pounding in my ears.

I broke out in a cold sweat. I’d finally opened up to someone that I couldn’t actually have a relationship with, not if we were still working for the same company. Why would he agree to...why wouldn’t he tell me before...why would ask me to dinner if he knew? I was so upset my cheeks burned.

“Hey. Hey!” Jeffrey reached over and grabbed my hand, pulling me out of the negative spiral I was in. He looked at me, kindness and worry in his eyes. “I said I’d have to think about it. I was only telling you so you knew why Reed might be cranky tomorrow. I’m going to decline the offer.”

My breath caught in my throat as I sighed out a single word. “Really?”

Jeffrey smiled at me. “Really.”

“Let’s get the hell out of here.”