Chapter 6
Just as she had told Roxie and Kayla, Holly got off the school bus at the stop closest to The Upside. Her best friends had promised not to tell anyone where she was going. She would be home long before her father arrived; just this once, she figured: What he does not know is not going to hurt him.
She had made that excuse for disobeying him way too many times, but she just could not help herself. And she really could not see how what she was doing was harmful, dangerous, or otherwise objectionable. The time she spent with Miss Carol and her three best friends, Helen, Maxine, and Barbara, was the most fun she ever had . . . well, except for the time she spent with Roxie and Kayla.
She rang the doorbell, excited at the song list she had come up with. Miss Carol was an awesome pianist, and Holly did not care if her father liked music or not. He didn’t have to listen to it. But she planned to make music and singing her career and had already started searching for colleges where she could pursue a major in music. She knew she was way too young to be doing this, but it was something that she could not stop. It was almost as if music was a part of her soul. She thought about singing all the time, and at home, when she was alone in her room, she sang softly, so only she could hear. Her father definitely did not approve of her interest in music. In fact, he did not seem to approve of anything she did outside of school.
If she became famous someday, then maybe he would listen to her sing. Then again, maybe not.
“Oh, Holly, come in,” Miss Carol said cheerfully, opening the door, then grabbing her in a big, loving hug.
Holly returned the hug, and it actually felt so nice to feel the love of another human, an adult. Instantly tears filled her eyes. She couldn’t help it. She eased out of the hug and turned her head to the side, so Miss Carol would not see her tears. She was a big baby. What would Roxie and Kayla think if they saw her blubbering like this? They’d probably hug her, too, just like Miss Carol did.
She rotated so that her back was to Miss Carol. She placed her backpack on the bench. Sniffing and knuckling her eyes, she plastered a smile on her face. “You’re really gonna like the music I’ve picked out. At least I hope so. It’s just so awesome.” Her voice sounded whiny, like a little kid’s, but she could not help it.
Miss Carol was in her late seventies but looked a whole lot younger. She reminded Holly of that cool woman in the James Bond movies she liked to watch with Kayla and Roxie. Judi something or other.
“Sweetheart, something is wrong. Do you want to talk about it over a plate of warm chocolate chip cookies and a Coke?”
Holly cleared her throat. “That sounds awesome, thanks,” she said, and followed Miss Carol to her large, cheery yellow kitchen that overlooked the giant aqua-blue swimming pool in her backyard.
Miss Carol had the biggest and the coolest house at The Upside. Lots of Holly’s friends referred to the place as the old fogey’s playground, but Holly knew it was much more than that. They had condos for the elderly people who were not able to live on their own; and if residents were really sick, there were doctors and nurses to take care of them. Holly felt really bad for them, but most of the residents at The Upside lived in private homes. Her dad called it a gated community. Whatever it was, she liked being here a lot more than she liked being at home.
Holly followed Miss Carol to the kitchen, where Holly pulled a bar stool out and sat down at the island in the center. Miss Carol’s back was to her as she pulled a sheet of freshly baked cookies from the oven. She placed them on the granite counter, then took a plate from the cabinet. She piled the cookies onto the plate, took two cans of Coke out of the refrigerator, filled two glasses with ice, and placed them in front of her.
“Now tell me what’s going on, kiddo. Really.” She emphasized her last word like she meant business, and Holly knew that her friend would not fall for just any old story, so she decided she had to go with the truth.
She took a sip of her fizzy Coke, then began. “It’s just that my dad doesn’t ever hug me, and, well, it felt kinda nice when you hugged me, you know?” She felt her eyes tear up again, and this time, instead of trying to hide them, she let them fall as she went on. “He’s a good guy, but he’s not a good dad. No, wait . . . I don’t mean that.” She stopped, then focused on her words. She did not want Miss Carol to think her dad was a bad person. “He’s just so quiet all the time.”
Miss Carol took a hefty swig of her Coke, then bit into a cookie. She nodded, but did not utter a single word. Holly took this as a sign that she should continue.
“It’s always kinda sad being around him, like he’s just going through the motions, but he’s not really there.” Holly had heard that line in a movie—she could not remember the name—but it was a perfect depiction of her father. “It’s like he’s there, but not really. Does that make sense?” Holly asked, then took a giant bite of her cookie.
Carol nodded in agreement. “Being a grown-up is hard sometimes. When you’re older, you’ll understand. Your father had a tremendous loss, Holly. I have lost a spouse, too. It was tough for a few years. Though I never had children, I can imagine being a single parent is not very easy.”
“But it’s been, like, eight years! I just do not get it,” Holly said, then finished her cookie. She reached for another. “Isn’t that a long time to grieve?”
“Sweetie, grief has no time limit.”
“Why not?”
She took a deep breath, then another drink of soda. “I wish I knew. My guess is that people are just different emotionally, so grieving is unique for everyone. When Houston passed away, I was very sad. He’d been sick for a very long time, and part of me was relieved that he was not suffering anymore, but, boy, did I ever miss him. I moved on because I had to, and he would have wanted me to. That’s when I decided to move to The Upside. My life has been on an uphill trajectory ever since.” She smiled, then added, “And you, young lady, are a big part of that.”
Holly grinned. “Thanks, Miss Carol. I feel the same way, too. Now, about that Christmas music.” She had tucked a piece of notebook paper in her back pocket. She pulled it out and handed it to her friend.
Miss Carol scanned the list and whistled. “Young lady, you have some mighty fine taste in music. I’m sure I have the sheet music for most of this, and if I do not, I’ll hit up the music store so we can start practicing right away. Christmas is right around the corner.”
“Are we going to practice today?” Holly asked, her sadness gone. It was hard to be unhappy around Miss Carol.
“No, sweetie, not today. I have a board meeting scheduled for four o’clock. As much as I’d rather stay here with you, the meeting is important for the residents. Can you come by tomorrow after school? I’ll make sure to have all the music you want.” She eyed the paper on which Holly had scribbled her suggestions.
“I’ll be here,” Holly said, then tossed back more of her soda. Her dad would get mad if he knew that she had had a Coke. She wasn’t sure why he disliked soda, either. He disliked a lot of cool stuff, and she wished she knew why. Then, maybe she could help him. She truly loved her dad, but her home life was not much fun. She preferred spending time with Miss Carol and her own two BFFs.
“You want to take some of these cookies home for your dad?”
“No! I mean . . . no thanks. Dad’s not much for junk food.” She really should tell Miss Carol that her father did not know about most of her visits. What if he was in a car wreck, and no one knew how to find her? She could think of a million reasons why she should tell her father about her trips, but she knew that if she did, there would be no more of them, or, at the very least, any there were would be on his terms, which meant an hour or two a week. They had to practice as much as possible. Though she had kept her promise to Maxine, she knew that if she did not perform in The Upside’s annual Christmas musical, she would be missing the opportunity of a lifetime.
She wiped her mouth, finished the last of her Coke, then stood. “Thanks for the cookies, Miss Carol.”
“You’re most welcome. Why don’t you let me give you a ride home? It’s on my way.”
Holly’s eyes practically bugged out of her head. “No, I’m okay walking. It’s not that far.” It was just a few short blocks, and though she would have liked to spend the extra time with Miss Carol, on the off chance her father was home and saw her getting out of the car, she did not even want to think about what would happen.
“Tomorrow, then,” Miss Carol said.
“I’ll be here,” Holly said, then headed for the front door. “Bye, Miss Carol,” she called as she opened it. She wanted to add I love you, but did not. She was pretty sure Miss Carol already knew that Holly loved her. Grabbing her backpack, she hefted it over her shoulder and hurried toward home. Her dad would have a heart attack if he caught her sneaking again.
And if he knew what Maxine had planned for her, he would lock her up until she turned fifty. He would find out, she knew that much, but she had to make sure it was under the right circumstances, and she knew exactly when that would happen. She crossed her fingers and offered up a little prayer. Just in case.