Chapter Eight

Jake

I scrubbed a hand down my face in frustration. Knowing Lola was now mine changed everything. It made me want to make things right between Mia and I that much more. Tonight we would talk, but right now I had something I needed to do.  I gathered up all my stuff and put back on the clothes that I had been wearing last night. I needed to go over to the main house, shower and change my clothes and then take my daughter out to get to know her better.

    There was only one problem: Mia’s parents. I doubted they would let me take Lola without a real reasoning but if what Mia said was true they didn’t know I was the father and I wasn’t ready to break the news to everyone just yet.

    “Morning…” I groaned walking into the house my eyes going straight to Lola. She was sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast with Mia’s mother.

    “Morning sunshine! How did you sleep?” Jen asked, getting up from the table to pour me a cup of coffee. It was something she had always done, even when I was in High School like I should’ve been drinking coffee then or something.

    “I’m going to go take a shower and then I want to take Lola to the park if that’s okay?” Jen placed the coffee cup she had just filled on the counter before looking back at me.

    “Sure…” She seemed a little unsure.

    “I just want to take her to the park and then I’m going to take her to see Mia at the bakery.” It probably was weird of me to be asking about Lola but they didn’t know she was my kid yet, but once they did it would make much more sense to them. Jen’s eyes lit up as soon as I said something about meeting up with Mia. Everyone in her family wanted us to be together again. They loved me. The only person who fought it was Mia.

    “Oh, that will be great! Mia would love that. Sure, go ahead and take a shower and I’ll have Lola ready when you get out.” I looked down at my daughter my heart beating so hard I was sure it would beat right out of my chest.

    “Is that what you want Sweetheart? Do you want to go to the park with me?” I crossed the space that separated us, dropping down onto one knee so that I was the same height as her. She watched me curiously before giving me a toothy grin that all but said yes.

    “Grandma I want to go to the park with Jake!” Lola announced. The sweet shriek of excitement in her voice made my heart sing. I never would’ve thought in a million years that I would be this excited over something as simple as a little girl's smile, but things changed, I changed, and now that I knew what my future held I was going to enjoy every single second of my time with her.

    “I want to go to the park with you too, so I’m going to go shower and then we can leave okay?” I spoke softly watching her eyes twinkle with excitement as I spoke. My little girl.

    I wanted her to call me Daddy, to hold my hand, and ask me to give her treats when Mommy said no. I wanted her snuggles and kisses. I wanted it all.

    “Okay…” She responded quietly still looking at me though she went back to eating her breakfast. I stood hoping Jen hadn’t caught onto to my feelings towards Lola. It wasn’t that I wanted to hide the truth it was that I needed to make amends with Mia because when everyone found out the truth it was going to be from the two of us, together.

 

***

 

    I loaded Lola up in the back seat of my jeep, buckling her in, and checking the seatbelt twice for good measure. Dear Lord, I was turning into Jen.

    “Can we go to Shultz Park? Momma always takes me to Shultz Park.” Lola questioned from the backseat. My hands shook as I gripped the steering wheel before starting the car.

    It was hitting me all at once, the fact that Lola was mine, that I was a Father, and that I would have to do whatever I could to keep us all together. The weight all settled onto my shoulders.

    “And then we go for ice cream and I get one with sprinkles and chocolate syrup what kind do you like?” Lola continued. I sucked in a deep breath letting the air filter into my lungs before answering her.

    “I like Strawberry darlin’ it’s my favorite, it’s also your Mommy’s favorite,” I added remembering all the times Mia and I had gone for ice cream the summer before I left. I found it quite funny that Mia brought Lola to the park we frequented the most.

    “How do you know?” I could see the resilience in her eyes, as she tried to see if I really knew her Momma like I thought I did.

    “Your Mommy and I go way back.” I shifted the Jeep to drive and headed off in the direction of the park. It was a few minutes drive, and Lola continued to pepper me with questions in regards to her Mother.

    “Do you like my Mommy because I think you do…?” I couldn’t help but smile at her remark as I pulled into a parking spot and killed the engine.

    I got out of the Jeep and opened her door, looking at her, realizing she was the perfect mixture of her Momma and me. She wore a bright smile that could’ve melted even the coldest of hearts.

    “I don’t like your Mommy Darlin’…” I started and a pout formed on her face causing a tiny bit of muffled laughter to come out of me. “I love her….” Lola unbuckled herself and stood up, placing her hands on her hips as she did so.

    “That sure was mean. I’m going to tell my Momma you said that!” All I could think as she jumped from the car and ran to the playground was how perfect it would be for her to tell her Momma that. Mia knew I loved her with my whole heart and soul, but it would be a totally different experience hearing it from out daughter.

    “Hey now, wait up for me….” I hollered following behind her. The sun shined overhead as we played on the slides and swings. I hadn’t smiled or laughed this hard in my entire life. Everything about Lola was magical and the more I watched her play the more I grew attached to her.

    Yes, she was mine, but she also wasn’t mine. My name wasn’t on the birth certificate and I had no way of proving that I was her father until a DNA test was done. The fear of losing her because Mia and I didn’t work was starting to become a reality.

    I shoved those anxiety-induced thoughts to the back of mind as I plucked Lola up off the ground and through her over shoulder listening to her laughter fill my ears. I had yet another reason to live.

    “Should we get your Momma some ice cream?” I asked Lola placing her back on her feet. She stared up at me astonishment in her eyes.

    “You’re really, really, really tall…” All I could do was smile.

    “Next” The order taker yelled, startling both Lola and me.

    “Hi, we will have two cheeseburgers, a sundae with chocolate syrup, and sprinkles as well as a strawberry shake.” I rattled off the items we wanted loving the way Lola’s eyes lit up when I mentioned her ice cream. I paid, and we waited for our food at a nearby picnic table.

    Shultz Park was the best place in all of Jackson County. It was so much more than just a park, and pool. They had bomb ass concession stand, and a lake that had some of the biggest fish I had ever caught.

    “I like you, Jake.” Lola interrupted my thoughts, as she scooted closer to me on the bench.

    “I like you too Lola.” My heart had never been so full before. One of the people from the concession stand called my name and I moved from the table to get the tray of food quickly. When I returned Lola seemed to be sad.

    “What’s a matter?” I asked unwrapping greasy burger and shoving half of it into my mouth. It had been a long time since I had something this delicious.

    Lola shrugged and I didn’t like that she didn’t want to tell me what was going on. Even if I hadn’t known of her, I still felt this bond forming between us and I didn’t want it to go away because of unsaid words.

    “Come on, you know you can tell me anything.” I leaned into her watching as she picked at the bun of her burger.

    “It’s just… I don’t want today to end. It was so fun.” As she spoke the words my entire world flipped upside down. Mia had to work, it was just the way it was, but because of that, Lola was stuck home at lot.

    Not anymore.

    “We can do something fun every day…” I said trying to cheer her up. Her blue eyes widened.

    “Really? We can do something every day together. I would love that!” Lola shoved from the table and came to my side wrapping her two small arms around me like I had just saved the day or something. I lifted my own arm, wrapping it around her small body, relishing in the feeling of our first hug.

    “Me too Lola, me too.” And just as much as she didn’t want the day to end I too didn’t want the day to end, because it showed me more and more how much I needed to fix things between her Momma and me.

    “Momma’s going to be so happy when I tell her about my day…” Lola whispered into my side before pulling away and going back to her food. I smiled behind the straw of my milkshake.

    Lola had no clue how angry her Momma was going to be, and she never would because I was going to make everything between all of us better again.