Chapter 24
Anne Marie recognised the car immediately as she pulled up outside her mother’s house. It was Grant’s. She sat there, mystified as to why he’d be there.
As if I don’t have enough to deal with, she couldn’t help thinking.
She got out of the car, walked up the path and knocked on the door. Her mother answered a moment later.
‘Ah, Anne Marie! How funny you should turn up like this.’
‘Mum, what’s going on? Why’s Grant here?’
Her mother looked perplexed by this question. ‘He’s your husband. Why shouldn’t he be here talking to his mother-in-law?’
‘Because we’re getting divorced, Mum. I told you.’
‘Oh, what nonsense,’ her mother said, swatting a hand in her direction. ‘You just need to sit down and talk things through.’
Anne Marie followed her into the living room in disbelief.
‘Anne Marie!’ Grant said, leaping out of the armchair he’d been sitting in.
‘What are you doing here, Grant?’
‘Grant’s been explaining it all to me,’ her mother said, ‘and you’ve been letting yourself get worked up over nothing by the sounds of things, just as I thought you had been. But we’ve sorted it all out and you can go home with Grant now – back to your real home instead of that silly bed and breakfast.’ Her mother gave a laugh that sounded brittle and forced to Anne Marie’s ears.
‘Mum,’ she began, doing her best not to lose her temper, ‘I’m not even going to talk about this right now. Grant, I’m sorry you’ve had a wasted journey. I think you should go because there’s something I need to talk about with my mother.’
‘He’s not going anywhere,’ her mother said.
‘I’m not going anywhere,’ Grant echoed, giving a wry grin.
‘This is for your own good, Anne Marie. You can’t turn your back on your family.’
The word family hit her like a spear in the chest.
‘I really need to talk to you, Mum,’ she said.
‘There’s nothing that can’t be said in front of Grant,’ her mother asserted.
‘It’s not his business.’
‘I’m your husband, Anne Marie. Of course it’s my business.’
Anne Marie couldn’t believe what she was hearing, but the evidence was right there before her eyes.
‘Very well,’ she said, taking a deep breath. ‘I spoke to Mrs Beatty today. The housekeeper at Morton Hall.’
Immediately, her mother started to shake her head. ‘I won’t have any talk of that place here. You know my feelings about it.’
‘Well, that’s just it, Mum – I don’t know because you won’t ever talk about it. Or, at least, I didn’t use to know why you were unhappy with me going there, but I have a pretty good idea now.’
Her mother shook her head. ‘You’re obsessed with that place. Listen to her, Grant! It’s not natural.’
‘I agree,’ Grant said. ‘The sooner we get you back home and into your normal routine with the girls, the better.’
‘Mum, will you please listen to me for a minute? This is important. Mrs Beatty told me—’
‘I don’t want to hear what nonsense she’s told you,’ her mother stated. ‘She’s got nothing to do with us.’
‘She told me that I’m Emilia Morton’s daughter.’
The silence that greeted this statement told Anne Marie all she needed to know: that it was true.
‘Mum?’
Her mother refused to look at her. Instead, Janet turned to Grant. ‘Grant – don’t listen to her – she’s talking nonsense.’
‘She told me you and Dad adopted me,’ Anne Marie went on. ‘That Dad wrote the cheque I found to Tobias Morton. Remember the cheque I showed you?’
Her mother shook her head. ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about. Grant, will you please take my daughter home?’
‘We need to talk about this,’ Anne Marie said. ‘I need to hear your side. I want to understand. Did you adopt me? Could you not have any more children of your own after losing Anne? Was that the reason Dad went to the Mortons?’
She could tell from her mother’s expression that she’d hit the mark.
‘Mum? Please talk to me. I need to know.’
‘Come on, Anne Marie,’ Grant said. ‘You’re upsetting your mother.’
‘I’m upsetting her?’
‘Let’s get you back.’
‘Please take your hands off me, Grant. I’m not going anywhere with you and stop talking to me as if I were a child needing supervision.’
‘You see?’ her mother said. ‘You see what she’s like? She makes it so difficult for me to love her! She always has.’
‘I know,’ Grant said, nodding. ‘I can see that.’
Anne Marie looked from one to the other and back again.
‘I don’t need this,’ she said calmly. ‘If you want to talk about this, Mum, you know where I am.’
‘Where are you going?’ Grant called, following her into the hallway.
But she didn’t reply because neither of them were listening to her and she truly doubted that they ever really had.
Anne Marie drove through the Oxfordshire countryside for miles before parking in a lane that ended by the River Thames. She sat absolutely still, taking several deep fortifying breaths before leaving her car and walking towards the river. It was a beautiful evening. The wide stretch of water was a perfect blue and there were people out enjoying the late spring air. Anne Marie sat on a bench and watched two couples walking their spaniels, the dogs zigzagging along the bank ahead of them, tails wagging like mad metronomes.
Slowly, she began to process the day: the extraordinary revelation from Mrs Beatty, the knowledge that she was adopted, her mother’s refusal to speak about any of it and Grant’s misplaced belief that she was going to return home with him.
She gazed out across the water to the line of trees on the opposite bank. It was a scene worthy of a painting, and Anne Marie took a moment to simply soak it all in, to allow her breath to regulate itself, and to let go of the day, but still her mind felt like it was galloping.
She took out her phone and texted Kathleen to let her know where she was, and then she rang the number of the only person she felt she could truly talk to about all of this.
‘Cape?’ she said a moment later.
‘Anne Marie? I’ve been worrying myself silly since you left. Where are you?’
‘By the Thames.’
‘What? Whereabouts?’
‘Medmenham.’
‘What are you doing there?’
‘Contemplating drowning.’
‘Anne Marie!’
‘I’m joking!’
She heard him sigh. ‘I take it things didn’t go well with your mum?’
‘You could say that. She refused to talk about it.’
‘Oh, I’m sorry,’ he said.
‘And Grant was there.’
‘Grant?’
‘And he had the nerve to think I was going home with him. I can’t believe he and my mum were talking as if I didn’t have any opinions of my own. They thought everything was all right and I’d just been a bit silly.’
Cape cursed.
‘Hey,’ he said. ‘You want to come over?’
‘To yours?’
‘Yeah, sure.’
‘Well, I—’
‘We could have something to eat. I was going to make chilli tonight.’
Anne Marie could almost feel her stomach rumble in response.
‘Okay,’ she said hesitantly.
‘Good.’
He gave her his address and a list of directions which involved country junctions, potholes and blind bends, and Anne Marie walked back to her car, feeling a little bit calmer for having talked to him.
The cottage at Bixley Common was easy enough to find. Wonderfully isolated down a dead-end lane and completely surrounded by hills, it was an idyllic setting.
Anne Marie got out of the car, hearing the happy screech of swallows as they swooped through the late afternoon sky. Poppy, who was in the small front garden, waved as she saw her, and Cape soon appeared at the front door.
‘You found us!’ he called. ‘Come on in and I’ll get you a drink. What would you like? I’ve got some lime cordial if you fancy. It’s pretty good with ice.’
‘Sounds lovely.’
‘Poppy – why don’t you show Anne Marie the back garden while I fix the drinks?’
Poppy nodded and slipped her hand into Anne Marie’s. The sweet gesture was almost enough to undo her and she did her best to blink back the tears as she allowed herself to be led through the house and out into the garden. As far as she could remember, Anne Marie had never held a child’s hand before. She’d certainly never had any physical closeness to her step-daughters. It felt strange and wonderful – a gift, she thought.
‘I love our garden,’ Poppy announced. ‘It’s not as big as Morton Hall, but I love it all the same.’
Anne Marie could see why. What the garden lacked in size, it made up for in charm, with a tiny greenhouse in one corner, a couple of raised beds and borders full of spring colour.
‘Here,’ Poppy said. ‘Sit beside me.’
Anne Marie sat down on a bench next to Poppy, who still had hold of her hand.
‘I like to come here and think,’ Poppy told her.
‘Really? There’s a bench at Morton Hall where I used to go to think.’
Poppy looked up at her. ‘Did you go there when you were sad?’
‘Yes. And when I was cross or stressed too. Or happy.’
‘But you’re sad today, aren’t you? Daddy said.’
Anne Marie looked down at Poppy’s sweet face, her large eyes staring up at her in wonder.
‘Today’s been a very odd day,’ she confessed.
‘How?’
Anne Marie frowned. How was she going to explain this? Simply and honestly, she decided.
‘Well, I found out that I’m adopted and that my real mother had a brother who sold me to the parents who raised me.’
Poppy took a moment to digest this. ‘That is odd!’ she said, making Anne Marie laugh. ‘I had an odd day too.’
‘Did you?’
Poppy nodded. ‘I went out in odd shoes. I have two pairs that are the same, only in different colours – pink and purple. They’re my favourites. Mum let me buy them because I couldn’t make up my mind and they were in the sale. And I went out in one pink and one purple today.’
‘When did you notice?’
‘Erm, I think I kind of knew when I was putting them on, but I didn’t know where the others were so I just got on with it.’
Anne Marie smiled. ‘And did anyone else notice?’
‘My best friend said it looked good.’
‘I bet it looked good too. I think we need lots of colour in our lives, don’t we?’
‘Like the flowers we’re planting at Morton Hall.’
‘Exactly!’
‘Like dahlias, peonies and cornflowers,’ Poppy said. ‘They’re Daddy’s favourites. And poppies.’
‘Of course.’
‘He likes poppies.’
‘I like Poppy too,’ Anne Marie said, giving her a big smile which made her giggle.
‘Are you happier now?’ Poppy asked.
‘Yes. I think so.’
‘Good!’
Cape came out with a tray on which sat three glasses of lime cordial chinking musically with ice.
‘You both look very comfortable,’ he observed.
‘We are!’ Poppy said. ‘And Anne Marie’s much happier now.’
‘I’m very glad to hear it,’ he said. ‘That’ll be the Poppy effect.’
Poppy frowned. ‘What’s that?’
‘It’s what happens whenever you’re around,’ he said, bending to kiss her head before sitting on the bench next to them.
‘Your bum’s too big, Daddy!’ Poppy said. ‘You’re taking up all the room.’
‘Charming!’ he said.
Anne Marie laughed. ‘I think the Poppy effect is wearing off.’
‘She always tells it like it is.’
‘I do,’ Poppy said.
Three in a row, they sat there on the bench sipping their lime cordials as the swallows screeched overhead. Poppy retold the story of her mismatched shoes to her dad and he confessed to her that he hadn’t noticed, but that he had noticed that she’d only eaten half of the sandwiches he’d made for her packed lunch.
She pulled a face. ‘They were soggy.’
‘Soggy?’
‘You put too much filling in them.’
‘Oh,’ he said. ‘Sorry, Poppet.’
‘’S’alright.’
‘I’m still learning the ropes,’ he explained to Anne Marie.
‘I’m sure you’re doing a great job.’
‘He is,’ Poppy said and he ruffled her hair.
‘Right, I’m going to finish dinner,’ he said.
Half an hour later, they were all sitting at the kitchen table.
‘This smells wonderful,’ Anne Marie said as she dived into her bowl with a fork.
‘We like to eat our chilli in a bowl,’ Cape told her. ‘I hope that’s okay.’
‘It’s wonderful,’ she said.
‘Comforting,’ Poppy said. ‘I like bowls.’
Anne Marie and Cape exchanged smiles.
‘But it feels funny eating at the table,’ Poppy added.
Anne Marie looked up from her bowl. ‘Don’t you normally eat at the table?’
‘Well, we did when Mum was here, but we’ve been eating on the sofa since she left, haven’t we, Daddy?’
Cape almost choked on his chilli. ‘You’re making us sound like animals, Poppet.’
‘Not animals, but Mum would hate it.’
‘What do you think about eating on the sofa, Poppy?’ Anne Marie asked.
She shrugged. ‘I like it, I guess.’
‘I do it all the time at Kath’s.’
‘You do?’
‘It’s fun.’ She smiled at Poppy and Cape and he raised an eyebrow.
‘You want to move to the sofa now?’ he asked.
‘I’d love to,’ she said.
‘Okay then.’
The three of them grabbed their bowls and went through to the living room, sitting down on the sofa together.
Poppy positioned herself in the middle of them and Anne Marie tried her best to hold her laughter in as she imagined sitting on the sofa with Irma and Rebecca. No, she just couldn’t envisage that ever happening.
‘And do you watch television while you’re eating dinner on the sofa?’ Anne Marie asked.
‘Sometimes,’ Poppy confessed, ‘but Dad says we should talk about our day over dinner.’
‘That’s a nice idea,’ Anne Marie said, again thinking about the impossibility of any sort of conversation around the dining table – or anywhere else – at Garrard House.
‘Tell us about your day, Poppy.’ Cape asked. ‘She went to a friend’s house.’
‘In odd shoes,’ she reminded them.
‘Oh, I’m always going out in odd shoes,’ Cape said and they all laughed.
‘It was good,’ Poppy said. ‘She’s got a doll’s house and we played with that, but I got a bit bored. I told her it should have a garden because that’s the most important part of any house, isn’t it?’
‘It’s the bit I always like best,’ Cape said.
‘Me too,’ Poppy said.
‘Does your friend have a garden?’
‘Yes, but it’s only used for putting out the washing and the bins. They’ve not got any flowers or vegetable beds.’
Cape sucked his teeth in at that. ‘I might have to stop you going over there,’ he teased.
‘Maybe she could come to Morton Hall sometime,’ Poppy suggested.
Cape nodded. ‘That’s a very good idea.’
‘She could get some ideas for her own garden.’
‘Spoken like a true gardener,’ Cape said.
‘I’m not like a gardener,’ Poppy said. ‘I am one!’
And nobody could disagree with that.
After dinner, Poppy went up to her room and Anne Marie and Cape stepped out into the garden. The light was beginning to fade and the sun was setting behind a distant wood, leaving a trail of brilliant pink stripes in the sky.
‘You’ve got a wonderful spot here,’ she told him.
He nodded. ‘I think so.’ He gazed over the low hedge at the bottom of the garden towards the field beyond. ‘I could never leave this place.’ Anne Marie moved closer to him and slipped her hand in his. ‘I often wonder if Renee misses it,’ he added, ‘but I doubt she does.’
‘Have you heard from her?’
‘Not directly. She emails Poppy though and they talk on the phone at least twice a week.’
‘Has she found work over there?’
‘Poppy said she’s got a job in a salon in downtown LA. She’d attached some photos of recent clients’ nails.’ Cape huffed out a laugh.
‘What did Poppy think?’
‘Poppy says nails are for getting dirt under,’ he said with some pride.
‘She really is a gardener, isn’t she?’
‘Oh, yeah.’ He took a deep breath. ‘And how are you?’
‘Feeling better for being here with you and that bowl of chilli on the sofa.’
‘So, have you thought about what you’re going to do about, well, everything?’
She swallowed hard. ‘I’d like to talk to Mrs Beatty some more. And I told my mum to get in touch if she wants to discuss any of this, but I don’t suppose she will. I think I’ll just have to pretend I never found out about the adoption.’
‘You really think she’ll never talk about it?’
Anne Marie nodded. ‘I think she’s going to block it out for good.’
‘And how do you feel about that?’
Anne Marie gazed out over the field. ‘I’d love to speak to her about it, I really would, but we’ve never had the kind of relationship where we can discuss anything openly.’
‘But she was talking to Grant, wasn’t she?’
‘Yes, she’s good at giving her own opinion on things, but she’s not so good at being accountable for her own actions.’
Cape reached an arm around her and rubbed her shoulder. ‘You can always talk to me. You know that, don’t you?’
She looked up at him, his eyes so loving and tender.
‘I do,’ she told him.
‘You know, you should write about all this,’ he said.
She frowned. ‘You think so?’
‘Absolutely. It’ll give you a chance to get all those feelings out and really think about them.’
‘Like free therapy?’
He laughed. ‘Yes.’
‘A bit like gardening, then?’
‘Exactly.’
She sighed happily at the idea. ‘I like that.’
Standing together under the clear pink sunset, Cape bent to kiss her and she felt truly blessed. She might not be able to change the past but, in her heart, she knew that the future was going to be wonderful.