The red carpet is… interesting.
For one thing, I never realized all of those pictures I see in magazines are the result of a series of corralling movements where celebrities are herded like cats into a line. Blake is sent away—he gives me a reassuring nod as he goes—and then I am pushed into the center of a group of women wearing dresses and hairstyles which makes me feel woefully inadequate even if I am styling Givenchy.
We are given a long spiel I’m too excited to really listen to, and then we are pushed in front of dozens of paparazzi, but they don’t scream out my name and vie for my attention like I’ve seen in the movies. Instead, there is a brief pause as Magnus tells them my name and my handle ‘Social Media Entrepreneur.’
There’s a moment when everyone looks at each other. There’s some whispering, and I feel my cheeks start to get a little bit warm. None of the paparazzi seems interested in taking my picture, and I’m considering trying to slink away and cover my face in shame when someone in the back of the group shouts, “She’s the Ukulele Girl!”
“Oh, yeah!”
“That’s right, I remember…”
“Ukulele Girl, look over here!”
There’s a smattering of interest now, and I want to kiss whoever said that, but I can’t see them and by the time Magnus is ushering me down the line, they’ve taken a decent number of pictures of me, and I’m feeling much more validated.
Behind me, a couple of the women in fancy dresses snigger. I don’t recognize any of them, but that doesn’t mean much. I don’t watch much TV.
Shane probably would have fangirled himself into an early grave if he were here.
At the end of the wall of paparazzi, there are rows and rows of young women holding signs proclaiming their favorite celebrities and pushing each other to get better views. Blake joins me at my elbow moving so quickly I didn’t even realize he was there, until I felt his fingers gently brush against the exposed skin of my arm. Without speaking, he guides me over to the opposite side of the carpet where a bunch of cameramen are waiting. Magnus, who had been reaching for me at the same time, nods approvingly and follows in our wake.
“Natalie Summers,” Magnus tells the cameramen, one by one. A couple of them don’t even acknowledge me, but one man waves his hand, and Magnus directs me over to him.
Blake follows and pulls his arm away so he’s standing out of the shot. I want to pull him back. I don’t like the idea of standing by myself in front of that massive camera, but I take some comfort in the knowledge he is within reach, and I can pull him over if I have to.
“So, is this your first red carpet event?” he asks, shoving a microphone in my face at the same time he operates the camera one-handed.
It takes me a second to realize the interview has started. I’d thought there would at least be some lead-in, but I can roll with this.
“This is my first time, and I’m having a blast,” I say, putting on my sunniest smile. “Everyone has been super nice.”
I sound like an asshole even to my own ears, but he’s moving on before I can redeem myself. “What do you say to people who think you’re a flavor of the month, and by next month no one will even remember your name?”
Ouch, I think. What a shitty question to ask someone on their first red carpet.
Blake shifts his body a little bit, and I imagine him tackling the cameraman. It’s a funny image, and it makes me smile as I say, “Well, I guess they’re right to feel that way. There have certainly been a lot of people like me who wake up one morning and find their life has completely changed. I just hope I can keep working hard and making people happy with my music, and enjoy it all while it lasts.”
“And who’s your date?”
No reaction to what I said. I get the feeling he only wants me for my sound bites, and even though it puts a damper on the rest of my performance, I can’t help but perk up as I gesture to Blake.
“This is my bodyguard! His name’s Blake, and he’s the best bodyguard I’ve ever had.”
Blake, predictably, doesn’t react much. He just nods to the camera and looks away as soon as he can. A part of me wishes he would play it up for the camera, maybe even come over and put his arm around me. But then I remember what he’d said about celebrity changing people, and I think, of course, he doesn’t want to be involved in an interview. He probably wants to get this over with as quickly as possible.
“What about you?” I ask the cameraman. “Who’s your date?”
He looks surprised. “I don’t have one.”
“Aw, that’s a shame. Maybe if I get bored with Blake, I’ll come back for you.”
The cameraman actually laughs at that, and I know I’ve won him over. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Blake’s lips turn up at the corners.
Beyond him, I see a flash of gold and have to stifle my gasp. For a moment, I thought it might be Linda Stirling, the YouTuber who is putting on this event, but her blonde hair is the wrong shade, and her shoulders are too slim. When she turns, I can see her face. It’s Sadie Hawks. Blake’s ex-girlfriend.
What would she be doing here? She’s a big movie star. Why would she need to make an appearance at the premiere for a documentary on YouTube Red? I almost reach out for Blake, wanting to pull him closer and shield him—from what, I’m not sure—but my fingers are frozen, and I just keep up that stupid smile as the cameraman asks me another question.
“So are you working on the tour?”
“Yes, I am,” I tell him. Half my mind is in the conversation while the other half is focused entirely on the movements of the blonde in the golden dress. “I’ve got a lot of big ideas, and I’m really lucky that Bass Note, my management, is so accommodating.”
Magnus smiles at that. Blake seems to be watching the crowd checking to make sure there are no threats? I’m not even sure. All I can do is be glad he’s not watching the celebrities making their way through the wall of paparazzi toward the cameramen.
At one point, Sadie comes close to us, and it takes everything in me not to say anything, but to keep talking and not skip a moment. But then she turns and starts signing autographs out of Blake’s line of sight, and I can breathe again.
“Can you give us any hints?” the cameraman asks.
“Well…” I say, exaggeratingly looking at Magnus for approval. We’d already discussed what details I can and cannot reveal. “I can tell you it’s going to be a lot bigger than anything I’ve ever done on my YouTube videos, and I’m going to be playing songs no one’s ever heard before.”
“Great, that should do it,” the cameraman says, dipping the mic out of my face and nodding to me.
“Okay, thank you for your time.”
Magnus ushers me over to the next cameraman who’s waiting expectantly for me—a welcome change.
I go through this line as well, answering questions as best as I can without tripping over my dress or committing myself to too many answers. Blake is at my side the entire time keeping a respectable distance, and then I feel the moment he sees her. His whole body tenses. I sense the way his breathing changes, thanks to our running dates—they’re not dates, stop telling yourself they’re dates—I know his breathing pretty intimately. I look over and see the way his eyes have zeroed in on her, and I feel stupidly and ridiculously jealous.
Does he still love her?
Does he think she’s prettier than me?
I hate myself as soon as the thought comes to my mind. The last thing any woman should do is compare herself to others especially in entertainment where people will be comparing us enough without it.
When we get to the end of the line, after about ten interviews where the cameramen asked the same questions over and over, I turn to Blake and try to ask him without words if he’s okay. But he’s not even looking at me. He’s watching Sadie like he’s worried she’ll attack.
“Blake?” I say.
Before he can answer, Sadie turns, and their eyes meet. She puts on this awful, bright smile that Blake instantly responds to with a scowl.
“Blake,” she says, coming forward with her arms outstretched for a hug. Blake tries to dodge her, but she’s surprisingly fast for a woman trying to hug a trained bodyguard. He manages to squirm out pretty quickly, and she doesn’t skip a beat or even seem to notice. “How have you been? I haven’t seen you in forever! What brings you here? Who are you with?” She asks the questions so quickly I can’t imagine for a second she has any interest in the answers. Blake’s frown is deepening, and I can tell he’s thinking the same thing. Magnus saunters up to join us and seems to cock his head in confusion while Sadie is talking.
“Blake, come on, don’t look so sour,” she says, her smile not slipping for even a moment. “You never smile, it makes the pictures look awful.”
I promised I would protect Blake from the big bad celebrities, and I guess this is what I meant. I move forward and dip my hand into the curve of his elbow reaching my other hand out to offer a handshake.
“Hi, you must be Sadie Hawks, I’m Natalie Summers,” I say, trying to match her smile for smile as I feel Blake’s bicep tightening under my grip. I wonder if he’s annoyed I’ve intervened or glad he doesn’t have to say anything. Probably a mixture of both.
Magnus nods in approval. Apparently, me meeting celebrities is a good thing.
“Oh, I’m, ah… it’s nice to meet you,” she says. Her voice pitches up as though she’s unsure whether it is, in fact, nice to meet me, but I smile at her anyway.
“I’m the Ukulele Girl. From YouTube?”
Recognition dawns on her, and she looks between Blake and me with confusion. “I didn’t know YouTube girls needed bodyguards.”
“We don’t,” I say cheerfully. “Blake’s my boyfriend.”
Magnus’ eyebrows shoot up, but he doesn’t say anything. Blake’s muscles tense for a moment, then relax as the look of surprise on Sadie’s face starts to morph into shock.
“Oh!”
Blake sidles a little bit closer to me and nods, still looking a bit sour but not quite as disturbingly so as he had when she’d first hugged him.
“I didn’t realize you were dating again.”
“I don’t see why it’s surprising,” Blake says, looking at his feet, “It’s been over a year.”
“But…”
“So what brings you here?” I ask, cutting through whatever it was she had been about to say. “I didn’t expect any big celebrities.”
When I call her a big celebrity, her attitude instantly changes to one of delight as though I’ve somehow given her a gift.
“Well, I love these kinds of events… any excuse to dress up.”
And get your face in the tabloids, I add silently. Blake shares a look with me, and I can see he’s probably thinking the same thing.
“Well, we YouTubers love the support. Have you spoken to Linda?”
“Who?”
“Linda Stirling?” I ask. No recognition. “The girl that the documentary is about?”
“Oh!” Sadie says with sudden recognition. “No, not yet, but soon.”
“Great,” I reply, thinking that Sadie probably couldn’t pick Linda Stirling out of a line-up nor would she care to. “Well, I’ve got to go and find our seats, but hopefully Blake and I can catch up with you later?”
Before she can answer—and she looks like she’s going to answer at length—I pull Blake away and guide him toward the funnel at the end of the carpet leading into the theater. There are rows of paparazzi here as well, but they’re a lot more subdued and more interested in taking pictures as the well-dressed men and women of the industry meet up with each other, hug and kiss, and generally enjoy themselves before going into the venue.
Magnus walks on my other side and leans over. “Didn’t think you two were an item, but now the red carpet date makes more sense.”
“We’re not together,” I tell him. “This is subterfuge.” Then I turn to Blake, and he’s looking at me with an unreadable expression. “I’m sorry about that, but I thought it might be better than saying you were working.”
“No, it’s fine,” he says. He doesn’t look particularly happy, but at least he doesn’t look annoyed or angry. “I’m just glad we got away quickly.”
“Yeah, but to be fair, she didn’t really seem interested in actually talking to us.”
“She didn’t always like to hear the sound of her own voice,” he says, and there’s a sad edge to his voice as we slowly continue the long walk down the red carpet.