“Hey Momma,” I spoke softly into the phone. “It’s so good to hear your voice.”

“Hey, Son. I miss you.” I smiled at the sound of her soft voice. “Everything okay?” She asked me. She always knew when something was wrong. Said she could hear it in my voice. After she lost all of the sight in her left eye, and most in her right, she had the most perfect sense of hearing. Her ears were her eyes.

I could’ve tried to hide it in my voice, but I knew she’d catch me lying. “Just had a long day, Momma. I’m tired that’s all.”

“You’ve got a good strong soul. Don’t you worry about being tired, because it means you’ve worked hard. Honest work makes you a better man, Son. You know we’re proud of you.”

That was the one thing in this life that I was most certain of. Momma told me nearly every day just how proud she was of me. It’s why I’d never let her down. I’d never give up. Soon I’d bring them back home where they belonged.

“I know. How’s Dad?”

“Well,” she hesitated. I figured he wasn’t good. “He’s confused. The move was an adjustment for him. He hasn’t found his footing yet.”

He was used to having a routine. “I knew it wouldn’t be easy for him. I hate that you guys have to be there and not home with me.” I sighed. “Please let me know if he gets worse.”

“We’re fine. Stop your worrying. He’ll be better in a few days. Wait and see,” she told me. Momma’s glass was always half full despite all the bad things she’d been through. If anyone had a strong soul, it was that woman. She was like a angel in disguise.

“Promise me you’ll let me know,” I pleaded.

“I promise, Son. Now,” her voice lightened. “Tell me more about this girl.”

My heart felt full just thinking about her. Perched against the side of my science building, I smiled wide. “I can’t wait for you to meet her. I know you’re going to love her, Momma. She’s beautiful and so sweet. She’s a little bitty thing. We’re having dinner tonight.” I didn’t dare tell her that Paislee was at the house the day of the fire. Thank goodness my parents were in the car when she stomped over to me and slapped me in the face. We were not in a good place, and I’d never forget the look on her face when she walked across the driveway towards me. No telling what my parents would’ve thought. Momma probably would’ve given me a stern talking to about how to treat a lady.

“Then what are you gabbing on with me for. You better get ready. Honey, girls don’t like stinky boys.”

I laughed. “Right. I better clean up.”

“She sounds great. I can’t wait to meet her.” I knew she meant it. She only wanted to see me happy. “You call me tomorrow and tell me how it went.”

“Sure thing. I love you.”

“Love you too, Son.”

She said goodbye before hanging up the phone, and I missed her voice as soon as she did. Call me a Momma’s boy or whatever, but she was, and always had been my rock.

Making my way across the parking lot, I climbed in the truck. I needed to get home quickly so I could get ready for our date. Before pulling out of the parking lot, I sent her a quick text. Sure, I’d just seen her minutes ago, but I couldn’t help myself when it came to her. I longed for the moments I could talk to her, or touch her, God how I wanted to touch her.

Jude: I can’t wait to see you tonight.

Paislee: You just saw me like five minutes ago.

Jude: And I miss you already, Darlin.

Paislee: Aww. I miss you too. See you soon.

Jude: Not soon enough.

* * *

I tossed my bag on my makeshift bed in the loft of the barn before sliding my shirt over my head. I sniffed it and threw it on the floor. Momma was right. There was no way she’d find me sexy wearing that stinky ass tee shirt. I rolled on some deodorant and slid on a flannel button down. It wasn’t the best, but I only had three shirts to my name since the fire. One I found in my truck, and two I borrowed from Garrett. Garrett’s shirts didn’t fit me, but I didn’t have anything to wear. Everything I owned burned up in the fire. I hadn’t had time to go shopping.

The headlights from Paislee’s car shinned through the open barn door. I quickly grabbed my stuff and rushed down the ladder. A part of me didn’t want her to see how I was living, because it would only upset her. The loft was tiny. It held my blankets, a few pillows, and a battery powered lantern that we used at night in the barn, and that was it. There was barely enough room to move around up there. If she saw it, she’d worry.

She had just stepped out of the car when I came out of the barn. It wasn’t pitch dark yet so I could see just how beautiful she looked.

Damn was I a lucky man.

How could someone so beautiful want to be with me?

She had her hair pulled back in a ponytail, and the prettiest smile on her face. It was a smile meant only for me, and I loved it.

“Hey, Darlin.” I spoke first. Seeing the way her face lit up made my day. I knew she loved it when I called her that.

Hell, I loved it.

“Hey,” her sweet voice answered back. “Hungry?”

“You have no idea.” I kissed her cheek. I was hungry for more than just food, but I certainly didn’t tell her that. “Let me get that.” I reached for her door handle and opened it for her. I was intentionally rushing her back into the car so that she wouldn’t want to poke around too much. The less she knew about my shitty living space, the better. I knew that it was wrong for me to try and keep it from her, but she was such a worrier. I loved that about her, but it wasn’t necessary. I was just fine in the loft. It wasn’t permanent.

“That’s sweet of you.”

I shut her door and walked around to the passenger side of the car. Climbing inside, I settled in comfortably. It was nice having someone else doing the driving for a change.

“Where are we headed?” She asked, slipping the car in reverse.

I forgot she barely knew the area. It was easy to forget that she hadn’t lived here her whole life like I had, since the two of us had such a deep connection. It felt like I’d known her forever.

“What do you like to eat?” I questioned. Oddly, I had no idea. The last time we ate together, I cooked.

“I’m not a big fan of Chinese food. Anything else I’m good with,” she answered. “Oh, I love pizza. Any good pizza places around here?”

“Pizza?” I smiled at her. She could have her pick of any food she wanted, and she asked for pizza.

She shrugged her tiny shoulders. “Yeah, so.”

“I love…”

Shit.

I almost said –I love you.

Clearing my throat and fidgeting in my seat, I quickly corrected myself. “I love pizza too.”

Her eyes didn’t meet mine, so I wondered if she even heard what I almost said. It was an honest mistake, but could’ve turned a good thing bad way too quickly. It wasn’t that I didn’t love her. I could see myself loving her forever, but this was our first real date. There was no need for me to start making confessions just yet.

She glanced out of the windshield, and pulled the car slowly forward. Her face was hard to read. It could’ve been the darkness that filled the car, or maybe she was speechless.

Crap.

Say something you idiot.

“So where is the best pizza place? I think my insides are eating other insides.” Her voice was calm and cool like I’d been worrying for nothing.

“Take a right.” I told her. “I know a good place.”

She pulled out onto the main road. “Have you lived here your whole life?” She asked.

“Yeah,” I told her. “I was born here, and my parents already owned the farm. We have almost two hundred acres.

“Really?”

I smiled at her enthusiasm. Not many people realized we had that much land. “Really,” I nodded. “It’s hard to tell, but the land extends in the back for miles. I’ll have to show more of it some time. It’s really beautiful in the fall.”

“I’d love that.” She looked over at me, and I got lost in her gorgeous face. She was so pretty.

When she glanced back at the road, I kept my eyes on her. Maybe it was instinct or comfort. I wasn’t sure. But my hand found hers and I interlocked our fingers together. She never once hesitated. She never pulled away. My thumb grazed small circles on her smooth skin, and it eased my mind. Settled me to a place I hadn’t been in a long time, a place of peace.

I let my head lay gently on the headrest, and closed my eyes to the soothing hum of the car. I hadn’t felt that relaxed since…

I couldn’t even remember the last time I relaxed.

Where had this girl been my whole life?