Chapter Thirty
Lindsay
Ryder’s eyes remained fixed on me as he rolled on the condom, every ounce of his intense concentration focused on me, and I forgot how to breathe. Rivulets of water dripped from his hair, ran down his cut torso, down his powerful legs…I almost pinched myself, thinking this entire night must be a dream, because it was too perfect. He was too perfect.
The way he looked at me. The way he treated me. Emotions overwhelmed me, the warmth of feeling cherished, that love that terrified me rising me up, too. Bliss, euphoria, a flicker of worry, yearning, lust, anticipation, and back to all-consuming love.
I closed the distance between us, wrapping myself around him and kissing him with everything I had in me. He reciprocated, plunging his tongue into my mouth until all I could taste was him.
Our skin slipped against each other, the friction sending the temperature inside of the shower skyrocketing. Ryder traced my spine with his fingertips, then continued down, along the curve of my butt to the back of my thigh.
He hooked his hand under my knee and brought my leg up over his hip, his erection pressing against me, and the need to have him inside me took over.
I arched, my body trembling from the intoxicating sensations as his head grazed my opening.
The seconds that followed were like right before we’d kissed in the weight room, the air so charged as we stared into each other’s eyes that sparks danced across my skin.
I cried out as he entered me, pleasure traveling through me in waves. His lips moved to my neck as he flattened me against the wall of the shower. He sucked the skin there as he moved inside me, each thrust taking me higher.
The water turned cooler, and I was glad for it, because it took off the edge of the fire blazing inside me. Our lips found each other again and one kiss blurred into the next, until breathing seemed unnecessary.
Pressure built between us, and I dragged my fingernails down his strong back. He boosted me higher, pinning me in place with his body, and the change in angle sent me into a whole new level of ecstasy.
My mouth fell open, and I might be embarrassed by how loudly I moaned if I wasn’t too blissed out to care.
“That’s it, baby. I’ve fantasized about this moment, and it’s nothing compared to the real thing. To how good it feels to be inside you.” Every sensation amplified, and when Ryder dragged his thumb across my lower lip, the world spun off its axis. “Say my name again.”
“Ryder,” I said, and then I sunk my teeth into his knuckle.
He groaned and thrust into me harder. I circled higher and higher, and just when I thought I couldn’t take anymore, I tumbled over the edge, sagging against Ryder’s body for support as I completely shattered apart.
Ryder followed right behind me, whispering my name against my damp neck as he did.
I clung to him as both of us worked to catch our breath. Then he braced his hands on either side of my head, shot me a smile that would’ve melted my panties if I had any on, and dipped his head to kiss me.
Confession #16: That was the hottest yet sweetest sex I’ve ever had.
Before this afternoon, I didn’t even know that combo was possible. And now that I knew it was, it’d be impossible to settle for anything else.
The problem was that I’d have to eventually.
Don’t think about that now. Just enjoy the afterglow.
Ryder shut off the water, climbed out of the shower, and handed me a fuzzy blue towel. Once we’d wrapped our wet bodies in towels, he extended his hand. I didn’t bother asking where we were going. I knew if he was going, I wanted to go. I supposed I should be concerned that I didn’t have any clothes on, but that seemed inconsequential.
I heard voices in the living room, and Ryder moved me in front of him, blocking me from view, and walked me down the hall, away from the blips of conversation. We stepped into his bedroom and he locked the door behind us.
The other day I’d been too distracted by my conflicted feelings over crossing lines with him to fully take in the details of his room, but now I noticed the mostly bare walls, extremely tidy floor, and tightly made bed. Even his room reflected his controlled personality—or more like he controlled not showing it. The only sign he truly lived here was a photo with the team from last year, right after they’d won the Frozen Four Tournament. I knew, because I’d been there, and even if I hadn’t, the front and center NCAA trophy would’ve given it away.
The picture wobbled as he opened his dresser. “Championship hockey T-shirt or plain black T-shirt?” He glanced over his shoulder. “I’d hate to take the stream crossing too far.”
“I’d say that all streams have already been crossed.” I took the hockey T-shirt. “Might as well embrace it.”
When I dropped my towel, he let out a gruff curse as his eyes devoured me from head to toe.
“You just saw me naked a minute ago, at most,” I said.
“I’m not sure it’s something I could ever get used to.” He ran his fingers down my side and rested his hand on the curve of my butt. Then he hauled me against him. “I’m willing to try, of course.”
“How magnanimous of you,” I said, using the word that’d first made me think there was something different about this hockey player.
He rubbed his nose against mine before dropping a quick kiss on my lips.
I slipped the huge T-shirt over my head, and he stepped into some plaid boxers. Then he grabbed my hand and pulled me onto his bed with him. He curled me against his chest, wrapping me tightly in his arms, and gave a happy sigh. “Best day ever.”
“It was pretty awesome. Here I thought shooting hockey players would be the highlight, and then you had to go and top it with shower sex.”
His chuckle stirred my damp hair.
I loved how in the shower it was all power and taking charge, but in those in between moments, and after, he turned back to tender gestures and smiles.
He said he didn’t care about my past; said he wanted me, and wanted us, and it sounded like he wanted it as much as I did. That made it okay to love him, right? In fact, it felt like I got to love him. In this moment, choosing to didn’t make me feel weak, either. I felt like I could take on the world.
Which made me think that maybe—just maybe—I could find a way to make it last.