* * *

The coldness of his cell wall seeped into his skin. It was the only thing he could feel. Everything else felt numb, and not real.

Wade felt like he was floating around in a nightmare that he was struggling to wake up from. As if his soul was pressing on the backs of his eye lids and attempting to break free.

How could this have happened?

He didn’t even care that he was in jail. That didn’t matter. That part of this event didn’t register to him.

What mattered was Merissa was dead. She was dead, just like their son.

He’d seen them both dead and those were images he would never be able to get out of his mind. Wade had failed them both.

He and Merissa may not have been a couple now, but at one point they were. They were a family. A guy, a girl, and their baby. They were a little family he’d created, and lost. Just like that, they no longer existed.

How could this have happened?

Merissa’s hate for him connected her with this mad man who’d been terrorizing his family. Her intense hate for Wade and need for revenge had done that, and now she was dead.

She’d died in the worst way possible. Stabbed in her heart, stabbed multiple times. How many times he couldn’t remember. When the officer who brought him in spoke to him, Wade couldn’t process what he’d said. He could just about see that he was talking to him, but he couldn’t process what he was saying.

Wade had just receded into himself, into the chasm of despair that dwelled within the walls of his soul.

This was his fault. That was the bottom line. This was his fault. It all stemmed back to the day of the accident over five years ago when his baby died.

It stemmed back to that split second when he was at the beach party with Merissa and she’d tried to stop him from going off with George. If he could go back in time and change things, he’d go back to that point.

That was the point of decision. His right-or-left moment in life. He chose to go with George and everything went to hell. It meant that everything from that point was destined for disaster.

Even the good, like being with Chloe.

“Chloe,” he breathed. It was the first thing he’d said since the police took him in custody.

She was the essence of his soul. Not just his girlfriend, but his soulmate. She left him, just like he thought she would after finding out about his carelessness when he was with Merissa.

He prayed that wherever Chloe was she was safe. He prayed that she was on that plane to France. Miles away from here, miles away from him. He should have never been with her. He shouldn’t have put her in danger, or in the awkward position she’d been in with Merissa.

Chloe was outside of all of this craziness and Wade had no business being with a girl like that. Girl. Damn it, he still thought of her as a girl. It was habit. A result of growing up with her and seeing her as a girl for a large chunk of their lives.

She was a woman, now, and she deserved more, she deserved better than him. She always did. She was out of his league. Always too good for him, always out of his reach.

Chloe was right to leave him, and it was a good thing he let her go. That was perhaps the first right thing he’d done since getting back to L.A. Literally, the first right thing.

She was better off without him, and right about love not being enough. It wasn’t. He could see now, oh so clearly, that it wasn’t. How could love be enough if it meant that she could die?

Right now, Wade just wanted to die. He didn’t want to exist anymore, but if something happened to Chloe he’d want his soul to die, too. He’d never been particularly religious. Hadn’t come from any sort of religious background or anything, but he believed he had a soul and there had to be some sort of afterlife. If something happened to Chloe, he’d want to be erased. Completely erased.

He’d never thought that he could fall in love. It was so stupid that it had taken him his whole life to realize that Chloe had always been the keeper of his heart.

Instantly he recalled her mother telling him about his stupid attempts to use her stockings as a zip line when he was six, and poor Chloe trying to follow him. There wasn’t a single childhood memory he had that didn’t have her in it. She’d said he never chose her and she was right. He didn’t.

Wade wouldn’t sugar coat anything and pretend he wasn’t at fault. Just like with everything else.

When he was younger, he’d gone from one woman to the next, getting through them as fast as he changed his clothes. The girl who was too good for him was too much work. It meant changing too much of himself to try to be with her, and the idiot that he was hadn’t seen that his life would have been better if he’d gone down that route.

But he got what he deserved.

This.

This is what happened to people like him. Guys like him who ruined people’s lives.

The sound of a commotion drew his attention away from his thoughts. He thought he could hear his father’s voice down the hall. He looked over at the cell opposite him and saw a muscular, tattooed guy sitting in his cell staring at the wall opposite him. Pretty much doing the same thing Wade was doing.

The voices grew and Wade straightened up when he did, indeed, hear his father’s voice.

His father walked up to the cell door and glared at him with wide, extremely worried eyes. Next to him was the surly officer who guarded the jail cells. The man had led Wade in here earlier.

“Open the damn cell,” his father balked at the guard who was actually already in the process of opening the cell.

Once it was opened, his father charged in and went straight over to him.

“Leave us,” he ordered the guard.

“I’m not really allowed to, Mr. Vanderville.”

“I am the state’s attorney; you will allow me,” his father snapped. Wade had only ever seen him look this enraged a handful of times in his life. All of those times were to do with Wade. A response to something he’d done.

Like now.

Wade just stared at him.

“I’ll just be here,” the officer said uneasily, but with a firmness that showed them both that he was just doing his job.

Never having been in jail before—which may have surprised most people—Wade wasn’t familiar with the procedures of how things worked. But he’d imagined that his father must have had some leeway with his position.

Wade continued to stare at his father and wondered how this whole thing would look on him and his plans to be governor. Having a son who’d just been arrested for murder couldn’t be a good look for him.

He’d managed to keep Wade’s previous drug addiction and reckless behavior out of the press, and it was obvious that he’d managed to keep Wade’s five-year absence out of the media’s eyes too. This, on the other hand, was different. Wade had seen reporters earlier and he’d caught a glimpse of himself on the news while he was being booked.

Hours had passed since, so he was sure the world would know soon enough. He hadn’t been questioned yet. That was to come and he wasn’t looking forward to it because he didn’t want to talk to anyone.

He didn’t want to talk about what happened and say he didn’t kill Merissa, because it was his fault why she died. He didn’t want to excuse his guilt, or make it seem like there was anything innocent about him.

He opened his mouth to tell his father to leave but his father held up his hand, silencing him. He shook his head and kneeled on the floor before Wade.

“Don’t you dare tell me to leave,” he hissed. “Don’t you dare do it, Wade. Don’t.” His father held his gaze with his steely gray eyes. His face stern and serious.

Wade held his breath, then released it into a slow sigh. “Let them do what they want with me.”

His father shook his head. “What happened?”

Wade pressed down on his back teeth as his mind conjured up the images from his final moments with Merissa. He couldn’t talk about it. He just couldn’t. It was too hard.

“I can’t. I don’t want to talk about it.” He started breathing heavily as emotion overwhelmed him.

“Wade, you’re going to have to.”

“I don’t want to, Dad!”

“Son, please, you have to. We have to know what happened. Tell me.”

“It’s too painful, Dad.” A tear ran down his cheek. “It’s too painful.”

“Tell me what happened, son.” His father rested his hand over his.

Wade opened his mouth to try and explain but found he didn’t know where to begin. Where did he start? The problem went way back. Years back.

This wasn’t just about the last few hours. There was so much more. So much more.

“How did she die?” his father asked softly.

“I don’t know. There was a green mist, smoke, and it knocked us out. When I came to, she was dead. Someone killed her.”

“The psycho,” his father said, barely above a whisper, and looked down at the dark gray surface of the floor.

“Yes. But it was my fault.”

“No.” His father returned his gaze and shook his head. “The fault is all mine. It’s my fault.”

Wade couldn’t argue with that but he couldn’t excuse his own guilt either. This crazy person may have been after his father, but they’d targeted them individually and hurt them, hurt him, in a way that was personal and specific to him. They’d tailored whatever destruction they wanted to issue out.

His seemed to be the most thought out and planned. It was like this person had made an example out of Wade. An example that he was using to send a message to everyone else to show they meant business. To show they were being serious and this was no longer about sending scary notes and drawings.

Taylor’s accident and the finger in the package woke them all up. This, on the other hand, would keep them in check and keep them guessing as to what was coming next. Wade had no doubt that this person intended to kill them all.

He wanted to make them suffer first, though. Question was, why?

The man before him, his father, held the answers, but Wade was too drained to ask anything.

Right now he was ready for death. That was what he deserved.

“Who was she to you?” his father asked. “Merissa Stevens. Who was she?”

That was a good question. Who was she to him?

“My son’s mother,” Wade answered.

His father widened his eyes at him. “Your son?”

“He died,” Wade said quickly, eliciting a melancholic look from his father.

Wade looked at him and saw the sadness brimming in his eyes.

“I’m so sorry, son. It looks like we have a lot to talk about.”

Wade shook his head. He’d said more than he thought he had strength for already and didn’t think he could say more. “I can’t, it’s too painful.”

“I know. But Wade, I’m going to represent you. So I need to know everything.”

“I’m afraid that’s not the best idea, sir,” said a voice from behind them.

Wade looked up to see a man about the same height as his father coming into the cell. The unyielding expression on his face told Wade that he’d already convicted him in his mind.

Wade returned his gaze back to his father who stood and glowered at the man.

“And why’s that, Mitch?”

Mitch eyed his father with caution. “You represent the state, sir. You’re the state’s attorney, and your son has been arrested on suspicion of murder. You know what that means, and I have to be quite blunt and say that things are not looking good for him.”

Something gripped Wade’s heart when he heard that. Yes, he was ready for death, but a part of him didn’t want to be charged for murder. He didn’t want everyone to believe that he could be the kind of person to kill Merissa. Her family would already be devastated. He didn’t know if he could live or die knowing that they thought he had killed her.

But when he thought about it, things didn’t look good for him at all. He had no witnesses, no alibi, not anything. It was just him and her in the house. All he had was his word.

“Then that’s all the more reason for me to be here,” his father proclaimed to Wade’s surprise.

“Sir, if I may. I understand that this is your son, but it is not in your best interest to represent him.”

Mitch was right. Wade was a lost cause. It wasn’t in his father’s best interest to represent him or be anywhere near him. Especially if he wanted to be governor.

“Mitch, this is my kid. My boy. He is my interest. He’s not guilty, and I’m going to represent him.”

Wade couldn’t have been more shocked. He was so shocked the despair he felt momentarily subsided to allow the feeling of shock and surprise. Mitch looked shocked, too.

“Ben, think about what you’re doing. You’re the state’s attorney.” Now Mitch looked worried.

“If this is going to be a problem, then I quit,” his father interrupted Mitch as he was about to continue. “Now please leave us.”

Mitch looked from Wade to his father with disparage, then left them.

Wade kept his focus on his father and watched him with keen eyes as he sat on the edge of the steel bed.

“Dad, you can’t represent me.” Wade shook his head.

“I am, son.”

“Dad—”

“I love you, son,” he said, silencing him. “And I may be a poor excuse for a father, but there’s one thing I know how to do better than anyone, and that’s defend you in court. This is all happening because of me. Something I did. You’re suffering for it, for my actions.”

Wade blinked several times, unsure what to say next.

“What did you do, Dad?” It was the question of the moment. The question of this whole disaster.

“A lot. A lot of terrible things. Things there is no forgiveness for. Things you will not forgive me for.”

A cold chill of dread ran down Wade’s spine, making his nerves tingle. As he observed his father he wondered what it was he could have done that was so bad. Only one thing came to mind. Death.

He had the look of death in his eyes.

* * *

* * *

What a nice night.

She’d had no sleep whatsoever and didn’t even feel tired. She’d come by yesterday to see her mother and Brian.

It was their first meeting after being told that Brian was her birth father. Although the news had shaken her and left her feeling displaced, she understood why her mother kept such a secret from her and everyone else. Taylor had come by because she was ready to talk to her mother, and ready to talk to Brian.

She and Brian spoke all night, and she’d listened keenly to all his stories.

They’d sat in the sitting room, talking and eating all sorts of goodies Brian had prepared, which included a ton of chocolate muffins. Both Chloe and Kelly would have loved him to no end.

Taylor had been eager to hear everything, absolutely everything. She wanted to know what she’d missed from his life, about his family, what he liked, what he didn’t like. Everything.

He was the same. He wanted to hear all about her, too, and she gladly shared.

Taylor had always found him easy to talk to, and surprisingly this was even easier. Talking to him and knowing that he was her father was easier than she imagined, and she felt this bond between them that she couldn’t quite describe.

It was the kind of bond that forbade them from taking a break from this reunion even for sleep. Her mother had left her with him to catch up and probably went to bed hours ago.

It was almost five a.m. She hadn’t stayed awake for this long since…

Well, not since when she was with Richard. Thinking of Richard always produced this bitterness in her that she didn’t like. It was a strange feeling to have considering he was her boyfriend for all of two years. But bitterness was all she could feel. Richard used her. For what, she didn’t know. Whatever it was for, he hid his wife and children from her, making her look like some kind of homewrecker or one of those women who had no regard for family and respect for marriage. He’d made her the other woman.

“Are you okay, bellezza?” Brian asked, resting his hands on the table.

“I’m fine.” She pushed Richard straight out of her mind. She didn’t want to think about him anymore, or ever again. “I want to hear more about Italy.”

Brian was Italian. Italy sounded fantastic. She couldn’t believe that she’d never been, especially with her fashion obsession. She should have at the very least gone to Fashion Week in Milan. But this was better, whenever she decided she’d go, she’d be going with Brian. Her father.

Her father. It was a nice thought, but it would take some time to get used to. In her mind her father was Ben.

Benjamin Vanderville.

Ben had hurt her a lot, but she didn’t hate him. She loved him, always would, and she didn’t want to feel like she was replacing him in any way. The significant differences between Ben and Brian were, however, astounding. Ben was a doer. He was the person who jumped into action and was always busy. She knew he loved her, but he’d never specifically shown her that love.

Brian had, however, shown her how much he cared for her and loved her in a matter of minutes, and she could feel his need for her to know him beaming from him in waves.

She’d never felt that from anyone. It seemed like she was experiencing a lot of new things these days. First Wes, now Brian.

The thought of Wes made her smile to herself. She liked him. Liked him a lot. It was amazing how he’d always been in her life through Chloe, and she was friends with him and Taylor, but they weren’t exactly all friends together.

Maybe it was too soon. Too soon after Richard to like someone, but that was how she felt. And hopefully he felt that, too. She’d never want him to think that he was the rebound guy, so she thought she’d take things slowly.

They had a great dinner days ago and they were meeting later for a movie. A nice friendly meet up where they’d watch whatever was out at the cinema. They hadn’t planned that. She thought she’d let him decide.

“You haven’t slept all night,” Brian pointed out with a wide smile. A smile that looked exactly like hers.

She’d been enjoying looking at the comparisons between them. People said she was the spitting image of her mother, but Taylor had obsessed over her face long enough to spot every single little similarity between Brian and herself.

The dimple in his left cheek was the same as hers. She loved her dimples and her left side was her good side. The little beauty spot at the edge of his lip line was just like hers. She loved that beauty spot and called it her Marilyn Monroe spot, although it was on her lip and not her cheek.

Then there were his eyes. She thought she got her eyes from her mother, but they were his. Her white-blonde hair was the only real thing that she could claim from her mother.

“Neither have you.” She returned the smile.

“Bellezza, you were in hospital just a few weeks ago. I shouldn’t keep you up.”

Bellezza. She liked that. “You call Mom that too.”

“Oh, um. It means beauty in Italian.” He chuckled, but then a sad look filled his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Taylor said. The look was so evident that she felt she had to say something. It made her think of all that he must have gone through over the years.

“What for?”

“I wish things could have been different. I wish that you could have been there more when I was little. Telling you about it now isn’t the same. It’s something, but it’s not the same.”

He nodded. “No it’s not the same, but it’s what I have.”

“Would we have lived in Italy? If you and Mom had been together, is that where we would have lived?”

“I always planned that. I always wanted to take her to Italy. That was the plan, according to what I plotted out when I was ten.”

“Ten?” It fascinated her how her mother and Brian had known each other their whole lives. A little like Wade and Chloe.

“Oh yes. I knew I wanted to marry your mother from the minute I first saw her. It was a no brainer,” he replied with confidence. “And we were going to live in Verona.”

“I want to go there with you,” Taylor declared, surprising him.

“Really?”

“Yes. We should go. It sounds nice, and I’d love to see where we would have lived.” She was trying, and that was perhaps the best she could do.

“I’d love that. It would be amazing.”

“When I was in a coma, I dreamt we were in Bora Bora,” she shared. “On the beach. But it was a memory of when I was younger. You and Mom took Wade and I to the beach near home.”

“That was a good day. I took every chance I could get to see you. Every single chance I could grab.” The sadness was still in his eyes.

“Thank you. Thank you for doing that for me.” It meant a lot.

“Of course, I’m your…” His voice trailed off and she held his green gaze. “I mean, sure. It was nothing.”

“You’re my father.” She felt bad for him, at the awkwardness he must have felt.

“Does it feel weird? I understand if it does, because Ben’s your father.”

Although she’d never seen them contend with each other, she got the feeling that there was some definite tension between Ben and Brian. She’d felt it over the years.

“I’ll get used to it.” She knew she would. “I’ve always had this connection to you, so this should be easy.”

His eyes glistened with tears and again she felt that tug on her heart.

“Thank you for making this easy. Because I know it must be strange. All I ever wanted was some place in your life. I wanted you to know me.”

She reached across the table and took his hands. “You did have a place. You were the angel who could make my mom happy, and that was what I knew you to be.” That was the truth. Nothing was truer than that.

He clasped his hands over hers and smiled. “My dear little girl.”

“Yes.” She smiled back at him.

Just then she heard her mother’s footsteps rushing down the stairs. She hurried into the sitting room with a sick look on her face and her eyes wide with fright.

“Mom, are you okay?”

“Regina, what’s wrong?” Brian asked getting up.

“Wade,” she barely managed. “He’s…he’s been arrested for murder,” she continued and started shaking.

Taylor shot out of her chair so fast it nearly fell backwards.

“What? What happened?” Taylor winced, bringing her hands to up to her cheeks.

“Merissa.”

“Who’s Merissa? Who the hell was that now?”

“Oh God, honey, I’m so sorry. There’s a lot to tell you. Let’s do it on the way to the station.

* * *

Taylor felt dazed when her mother filled her in. She told her about Merissa and Wade and their baby.

She couldn’t begin to imagine how Wade must be feeling. And now her brother was stuck in jail for murder. He had to be innocent. What was she thinking? He was innocent. Wade would never kill anyone.

She tried to call Chloe several times during their journey to the station but each time her phone went straight to voicemail. She called Ben, too, but it was the same.

It took them about half an hour to get to the station, and another ten minutes to get through the sea of reporters that had gathered outside and had attempted to ask questions as they pushed through.

Once inside the station, they hit another stumbling block because the officer in charge wouldn’t allow them to see Wade.

“Why can’t we see him? Has he been charged?” her mother asked the officer.

The officer was a woman with silver-gray hair who looked to be in her early sixties.

“He’s being questioned at the moment. We don’t allow visitors in the custody suites.”

Taylor looked at the woman as she explained. At least she was calm and could see the distress they felt.

“When can we see him?” Taylor asked.

“I can’t say. I haven’t got that information.”

“Does he have a lawyer?” her mother asked.

The officer nodded. “Yes, the state’s attorney. Mr. Vanderville is representing him.”

Taylor watched the surprise fill her mother’s face.

It shouldn’t have actually been that much of a surprise, but it was. She’d heard all about what her father had been up to and his plans to be governor. That was the whole reason for the plans for co-ownership of Runway. The news of Wade’s arrest was all over the news. She knew what that felt like from her own disaster just days ago. But this was different. It was major news and people knew them, knew Wade was Benjamin Vanderville’s son, and, obviously, that he was the state’s attorney. It would be even more astounding when they heard he was representing Wade.

As if on cue, the door behind the officer opened and her father came out. His gaze locked on hers and then shifted to Brian with his arm around her.

She saw the disappointed look in his eyes and felt guilty for it. There were so many emotions whirling through her brain, but at that moment she felt guilty and she could feel his pain.

“Ben.” Her mother rushed over at him as he came through the reception door to where they were.

“I can’t talk right now, Regina. I just can’t.” He shook his head.

“You have to tell us what’s happening.” Her mother cried, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“They’re charging Wade. They’re charging Wade for murder.”