Chapter 12
MY LAST SHIFT AT MISS Maye’s is bittersweet. So many of the townspeople come in to see me off, offering me unsolicited advice and asking more than the polite number of questions about my future plans. Specifically with Shane Abbott. The Bingo ladies give me grief for skipping out on bingo last week and Sam is less than impressed with my choice of employment. He says selling chicken wings and beer is going to stunt my skills as a waitress.
Shane doesn’t come in to see me. He sent me a text earlier, letting me know there was an issue with a fence and he’d be dealing with it at work all day. I don’t believe there is a fence issue, and a part of me wonders if he simply doesn’t want to say another goodbye. Shane has always been honest with me, and I know in my heart he wants to be here, he wants to see me, but I’m also grateful he isn’t. I’m relieved to not relive that heartache again, especially in front of half the town.
At the end of the lunch shift, Vera sits me down and tries to fill me with as much of her city living wisdom as possible. I sit dutifully and listen, absorbing all of the greatness that is my friend. From her overly styled hair to her classically manicured fingernails, I sit watching her animatedly tell me all the pitfalls to city life. I appreciated every word she speaks, every gesture she makes, and every hiccup of emotion she oozes. Sam packs me a ton of food in a cooler and makes me promise to call if I’m ever hungry and to never resort to ramen or microwavable mac and cheese. I promise. With my fingers crossed. Ramen is delicious.
As I pack up Gerty and turn back to Vera standing on the sidewalk in front of Miss Maye’s, I take a deep breath and step forward. “I’m going to miss you,” I say, pulling her into a hug.
“Enough. There will be no crying or any other such nonsense. I’m going to suck it up and hire back that Northcutt girl. She was only late once, I suppose it’s reasonable to let her come back. Then, I’m coming to see you for a girl’s night.”
I smile at Vera and hug Sam once more before climbing into Gerty and pulling away, leaving Mason in my rearview mirror. My phone signals a text as I come to a stop sign. I look around, and with no cars coming, I glance at my phone and see it’s Shane.
Shane: I couldn’t get away. I’m sorry.
Me: It’s okay. I understand.
Shane: It’s not okay. I already miss you.
Me: Me too.
Shane: I’ll call you tonight?
Me: Okay.
Shane: Drive safe.
Me: xo
I pull through the intersection and watch in my rearview mirror as the town of Mason fades into the background. I never expected to find so much of myself in this town, but I did. I found that it’s okay to still be Mercy. To let people in. To smile and laugh with others and not put up pretenses. The town of Mason brought me back to my roots and for once, I’m okay with that. Lexington pushed me to step outside of my shell and try new things. But Lexington never felt like home. It didn’t tug at my heartstrings as I pulled away from its Main Street. Looking into my rearview mirror, I consider turning around. The loss I feel leaving this town is painful.
Heartache.
My heart is bending but not breaking.
A bendable heart is a persevering heart.
***
The luck of finding a job without really trying carries over to finding a place to live. Lisa mentions a company that works with homeowners who want to rent their houses, not to single families but to individuals that will rent a room. The concept is similar to what I imagine college life is like in some of the newer dorms.
The room I’m renting is one of four in a house on a quiet street only a few miles from my new job. My housemates and I share the common areas: living room, kitchen, and backyard. There are two master bedrooms, each with their own en suite. Those housemates, Devon and Kassie, don’t have to share a bathroom but the fourth housemate, Willa, and I do. Thankfully, Willa has an opposite work schedule to me and we’re able to work out a shower schedule easily.
When I tell Lisa I’m able to begin work earlier than we discussed, she’s thrilled. Tonight, I’ll begin my training, and hopefully if all goes well, by this time next week I’ll be on my own and making decent money. So here I am at the same sports bar Shane and I were in just a few nights ago, listening as my trainer explains the computer system. I’m not paying attention, but it’s the same system we used at the bar I worked at in Lexington and I’m not worried. After shadowing him for a few tables, I punch in a few orders and he’s impressed. I’m not. I’m going through the motions. Emotionally exhausted and wishing it’s time for me to crawl into bed so I can call Shane.
By the time I clock out, I’ve taken three tables of my own, handed over the tips because that’s what you do when you’re training, and asked Lisa about taking my menu test in a few days. If I’m going to be here, I might as well be making money and a new independent life.
After returning home and taking a quick shower, I crawl into my bed and tap my phone to check messages before calling Shane. Four text messages. The first is from Vera and is a picture of Underpants telling me he misses our walks. I laugh and send my regards to Underpants before pulling up the messages from Shane.
Shane: It feels super girly to say this but—I miss you.
Shane: Okay, ignore that last text. I am secure enough to say I miss you.
Shane: Shit. I have to go back to the ranch. I won’t be able to talk tonight. Hope work was good!
Bummed that I won’t talk to Shane on the phone tonight, I tap out a quick text, telling him I’m exhausted and will try to call tomorrow. Snuggling into my pillow, I fall into a deep sleep with dreams of dimpled cowboys, little white dogs, and sassy waitresses in a small town that has suddenly become very near and dear to me.
I’m dreaming of eyes that turn to chocolate cake when my phone rings and startles me awake. I grab it without checking the caller ID. “Hello?”
“Babe, did I wake you?”
Shane.
“It’s okay. I thought you had to go back to work.” I sit up a little and wipe the drool from my lips.
“I did. I am. I just wanted to call. It’s been less than an hour since you texted me, so I figured you’d still be awake. I’ll let you go.”
“NO! I mean, no, it’s okay. What are you doing?”
Shane chuckles at my horrible effort to recover from shouting. He regales me with a rundown of his day and that he had to go back to tend to a new calf that was born this morning. His voice is comforting, and soon I’m yawning in his ear.
“I should let you go, you’re exhausted.”
“Sorry,” I say. “I hadn’t realized how much I’d adjusted to early morning shifts with Vera. Working tonight kicked my butt. I wish we could’ve talked when I was more awake.” The pout is evident in my tone.
“I know, me too. It’s going to be a rough couple of days with this calf, but what if I come see you on the weekend?”
Shooting up in my bed, I’m unable to contain my excitement. “Yes. I mean, yeah that’d be cool. Oh hell, who am I kidding? Yes. Please come to Austin and spend the weekend with me.” I’m not too proud to beg.
After a few minutes of confirming plans for the upcoming weekend, I promise to check with my housemates about him staying here for the weekend and end the call with a huge smile on my face. Instead of waiting to ask my housemates in the morning, I hop out of bed, throw on a sweatshirt over my camisole, and walk to the living room where I hear the television. As I turn the corner, Devon is snuggled up on the couch with a guy and that almost confirms what I’m about to ask.
“Hey Devon?” I ask quietly so not to startle the couple on the couch. Devon looks at me, a kind smile on her face. “What are the rules on sleepovers?”
“Oh, is your boyfriend coming to visit?” Her excitement for me is palpable.
“He’s not my boyfriend, but yes, someone is coming to visit.”
“We’re a pretty chill group so it’s fine. But if the owners ask, no boys spend the night,” she says with a wink. I smile in understanding and return to my bed. I shoot Shane a quick text that he can stay here and snuggle back into my bed. This time, my dreams are less chocolate cake and more cuddles and snuggles with a cowboy. Just as they should be.