The car wouldn’t go fast enough for me. I leaned forward from the backseat and talked to the cab driver again.

“I’m sorry. I know you’re going above the speed limit already, but there’s been an emergency and I really need to get to the hospital fast. I’ll pay more if you can drive a little faster.”

He sped up, but it didn’t stop my worry. The late-night call had been the worst of my life. Someone had come to my room to wake me. It was so late, I’d already been asleep, dreaming peacefully of Alexis after our perfect night together. A staff member said there was an emergency call for me.

That walk to the staffroom seemed to take forever. I had no other information, but assumed it must have been something with my clan or my family. When I picked up the receiver, my mother was on the other end.

“Oh, thank God, Cooper. It’s Kylie. She’s been in a car accident.”

“What? Is she okay?”

“They’re flying her to Bartlett Regional. Is there any way you can come?”

“Come? To the hospital? Is it serious?”

“Cooper…” There was a long silence and I heard her stifle a sob. “They’re saying they don’t know if she’s going to make it.”

“I’ll be there as soon as I possibly can.”

I’d hung up and went into overdrive. I hunted down the person in charge of the Ranger instruction program and told him what had happened. Rushing back to my room, I threw my things in my bag and hurried back out. Only after the door closed behind me, my room keys inside for check out, did I stop to think I should have written Alexis a note and slipped it under her door.

Well, I’d have to somehow get her number later and explain everything. As I hurried down to where I’d catch the tender, I thought of Alexis. We’d miss our last night together. I wouldn’t get to say goodbye. If she didn’t come back, I’d never see her again. The thought was unreal, just like the fact that my sister might have been dying at that very moment. No, neither of those things would be true. I wouldn’t let them be.

As I waited for ages for the boat, I used the two women against each other. When thoughts about Kylie became too suffocating, I thought about Alexis. When thoughts about Alexis became too heartbreaking, I thought about Kylie. My heart lurched and my stomach ached. I wanted Alexis there with me. I wanted to have her hold my hand and rub my back, telling me it was going to be okay; to wait there with me and make things not seem quite so terrible.

In an irrational moment, I had thought of rushing up to her room and waking her, either to say goodbye or to beg her to come with me. But the boat had shown up then and I couldn’t take the time to wait for the next. I’d contact Alexis just as soon as I could manage.

Watching the streets fly by all too slowly, I was too close to be distracted any longer. All I could think about was my sister and family. We couldn’t lose Kylie. We just couldn’t.

The cab finally pulled up to the hospital and I jumped out, almost forgetting to pay, then almost forgetting to grab my bag. I hurried to the floor my mom had mentioned and found the ICU. My mom was sitting outside the room, staring blankly at the TV in the waiting area. When she looked over and saw me coming, she jumped to her feet.

“You’re here.” She pulled me into a tight hug and squeezed for a long time. “Your clan is here. Most of them.”

I walked around the corner to see several members of my clan, waved to them and assured them I’d return soon. First, I got more details from my mom about what had happened and what the doctors were saying before I went in to see Kylie. My dad was there, holding her hand.

She was hooked up to many tubes and machines, sleeping, which I guess was best. Covered in bandages, she didn’t even look like herself. I sat for a moment, terrified, holding her other hand, then talked quietly with my dad for a time.

When I finally went back out to the waiting room, Jace was the first person who came to me.

“Hey man, we’re here. Whatever you need, you let us know.”

I put my hand on his shoulder to steady myself for a moment. As my oldest and best friend, he’d been with me through many things. I could always count on Jace to help me out.

“Thanks. I can’t even think straight right now.”

We sat and I talked with my other clanmates. Luckily, Carson and Max hadn’t killed each other while I was gone. They’d done a fine job in my absence, Jace assured me.

As the hours grew late and members of the waiting party shrank, Jace remained with me. He was almost part of the family, almost another brother to Kylie, so he wasn’t going anywhere any time soon.

“You want to know something crazy?” I said to him as we sat alone in the waiting room.

“What’s that?” he asked through a yawn.

“I may have found the love of my life.”

“What’s this now?” He sat up to listen better.

I told him about Alexis and our time together. “But I rushed off the boat so fast to be here, I didn’t have time to leave my number. I feel terrible that I couldn’t say goodbye, and I don’t know if she’s coming back to Alaska. I may have lost her.”

“If it’s meant to be, it will be. Maybe you can get her number from the cruise company somehow.”

“Yeah, I planned to try tomorrow. As soon as I have the chance.”

“She won’t get away. No way. After the disaster with Becca, you’re due for a good woman.”

“Becca wasn’t a bad woman.”

He raised an eyebrow at me. “No, okay. I guess while you were together, she wasn’t. But after you broke up with her?”

I sighed. “Yeah. That part was a disaster.”

The way our relationship had fizzled out, I hadn’t expected Becca to be too upset when I told her that I just wasn’t in love with her anymore. I thought she’d been feeling the same way, that she’d lost feelings for me over the years, too. But when I ended it, she had gotten very angry. She told me she’d been planning our future and dreaming of our wedding and that she’d wasted years on me.

She hadn’t said, though, that she loved me as much she didn’t want to lose me. I suspected she just wanted to be married and have kids and didn’t care much who the husband was; like I was just a pawn in her master plan. Luckily, she had found another man fairly quickly. Once she started dating, and more specifically once she beat me to dating again, she chilled out. Now, she didn’t glare at me the whole time a clan meeting was going on. She stopped talking to me for the most part, but I was okay with that.

“Alexis has been hurt, too,” I said. “I don’t think she’s as set on her perfect picture as Becca was. Not that she doesn’t have tons of plans. But she’s up for adventure, wants to see the world, all of that.”

“What if she doesn’t want to settle down at all?” Jace asked. “What if it’s Becca Syndrome in reverse?”

I ran my fingers through my hair. Was I missing it again? Were my feelings for Alexis stronger than hers for me? “I don’t know. Maybe she won’t. I’m going to be careful this time. And I’m going to be open from the start. No more hiding my feelings, thinking they might change or come back or whatever. With Becca, I kept thinking that if we just went ahead and got married, the love and passion would return.”

“I don’t think it works like that.”

“Apparently not.” I twisted my fingers together. “I wish she were here, though—Alexis, that is. You’ll love her. If she were here, she would have struck up a conversation with every nurse and doctor on the floor, entertaining the clan while they waited with us. She’d keep my mind off this horrible reality.”

Jace put his hand on my shoulder. “Kylie is going to come through this. I know it. She has to. She’s too strong and stubborn to go out in something as generic as a car accident. Think about how mad she’d be if she knew everyone was here, seeing her looking so crappy.”

I shook my head with wide eyes. “Oh no. We’ll never tell her that. It’s been just me, our parents and you. If she knows about anyone else, she’ll flip.”

We laughed, and it felt good to let go a bit.

I waited until a decent hour and called the staff on the cruise ship. They were all busy, getting ready for departure, but after giving them some fake law enforcement credentials, someone finally gave me Alexis’ phone number. I scribbled it down and then gave instructions for a message to be delivered to her room. I left them my number, and the person promised to deliver my message to her right away.

When I hung up, I dialed the number, but got an error saying it was disconnected. I tried it again, dialing more carefully. When it wouldn’t work, I called the ship once again, figuring I either I’d made a mistake while writing it down or they’d given me the wrong number. While I waited on hold for a long time, Kylie’s doctor came in the room, so I hung up to hear his latest assessments.

I called back later when the staff was preparing for the next group to board. When the person I talked to checked, the number I had tried was correct. That was the only number they had for her. I hung up worried, but sure that she would call as soon as she got my message. She was probably busy getting off the boat and catching her flight. She might have even been in the air and not able to call. I checked my phone throughout the day, but got nothing from Alexis.

I finally decided to go home and get some rest, but first thing the following morning, I showered and got online. I searched for her name on every social media site I could find, but after sorting through tons of Alexis Hales, I didn’t see her. She had to be online, didn’t she? Maybe I was so tired and my mind was so fried that I’d missed her profile. I decided to try again later when I could think straight and hoped that she would call or text soon.