Chapter Nine
Rose
I was doing the last-minute work and closing up the bookstore. Mary had already left for the day and I was just getting ready to flip the sign to closed, when Asher stopped by.
“Better hurry,” I said with a laugh. “We close in a few minutes.”
“I'm not here to shop,” he said and looked at me with an awkward expression on his face.
The way he stood there, sort of shuffling his feet, avoiding eye contact, and looking all kinds of awkward was adorable. It was also not what I'd expect from a man like Asher. He was large, imposing – the seemingly typical alpha male type. And yet, there he was looking like a shy teenage boy. But, one thing I'd come to learn about Asher, was that there was definitely far more to him than met the naked eye.
“No?” I asked. “Then, what can I do for you?”
“I was actually hoping we could grab some dinner after you get out of here?” he said, his voice surprisingly soft. “You know, just to talk.”
My heart flip-flopped and I froze in place for a long moment. I couldn't seem to do anything but stand there and stare at Asher for a long while before answering.
“It's okay if you have other plans –” he said, suddenly looking sheepish. “I was hungry, in the area, and thought maybe –”
Adrenaline was flowing through me and I thought I felt myself start to tremble. I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. I imagined that with my mouth opening and closing like it was, I looked like a fish pulled out of the water and thrown up onto a dock, gasping for breath. I couldn't believe what was happening – Asher was asking me out. On a date.
There were ten thousand reasons I should have declined his invitation. Twenty thousand, maybe. And knowing that, I opened my mouth to give him a “thanks, but no thanks” answer, and yet, my brain apparently had something else entirely in mind because when I opened my mouth to speak again, the wrong words came tumbling out.
“Sure, that sounds great, actually.”
I felt my eyes grow wide and a shock like electricity shot through my body. I should have said no. There was no way in hell I should have agreed to dinner with Asher Blackwood. I wasn't ready to be dating anyone yet, and aside from that, my aunt had warned me about his family. I knew that I should probably stay far away from him. But something in me couldn't resist. So, to temper any expectations from him – or myself – I threw in a last second caveat.
“Just as friends though,” I said. “I'm really not ready to start dating again.”
“Just friends,” he said, “I promise I won't try anything with you. I just enjoy your company, that's all. You're just different from my usual circle of friends. And right now, I kind of need different.”
The fact that someone as gorgeous as Asher was even talking to me made my head spin. Never in a million years would I have ever expected a guy like him – somebody who could have stepped out of an underwear ad – to be interested in me.
Then again, maybe he wasn't. Maybe he really was just looking for a friend and I was reading way more into things than I should have been. When that thought hit me, I felt a slight twinge of disappointment. I knew it shouldn't disappoint me, but it did all the same.
The heart and brain just couldn't agree on how I should feel about him.
“Alright, let me finish getting cleaned and locked up here,” I said, reaching for the keys. “And then we can head out.”
Asher browsed the shelves, picking up a few books and leafing through the pages as I checked the back door. When I came back out, I found him reading from a book on the shelf, a rapturous look on his face. It was a book on ancient Roman history and he looked like he was in love.
“Maybe I should leave you two alone,” I joked.
“Nah, I think I'd rather be alone with you,” he said, laughing nervously as he put the book away.
Color rushed to my cheeks and my face felt like it was on fire, but thankfully, I'd turned out the light before he could see.
“Okay, well let's head out,” I said. “What did you have in mind?”
“There's an amazing BBQ place over on Second Street, it's within walking distance,” he said. “How do you feel about BBQ?”
“Sounds perfect,” I said, locking the door as we stepped out of the bookstore and onto the sidewalk outside. “I'm starving.”
I could tell something was on his mind, he seemed a little distracted and was being quieter than usual. He never came off as the quiet type – he was always cocky and talkative. And yet suddenly, he let me do most of the talking as we walked toward the restaurant.
“Finish the book yet?” I asked.
“No, sadly, I've had a lot going on,” he said, staring straight ahead as he spoke. “Family stuff.”
“Ahhh,” I said, hoping he'd elaborate, but he didn't. “Everything okay?”
He shrugged. “Not really, but we'll survive. We always do.”
His voice sounded distant and I found myself trying to draw him out. Get him to talk and open up. But the more I asked, the less he spoke, and I wasn't sure what else to say.
As we arrived at Big Al's BBQ, Asher pulled me to the side before entering. He looked into my eyes earnestly and there was a strange expression on his face. I could tell that he wanted to say something important – or at least, important in his mind – but I had no idea what it could be.
“Rose, I like you,” he said bluntly. “I like you a lot.”
My heart raced with his revelation and I realized that even though I'd been trying to keep my feelings in check, somehow, over the time we'd been talking and getting to know one another, some feeling for him had wormed its way into my heart. I couldn't deny it – the heart wants what the heart wants. But I could do my best to control it. I wasn't ready yet. Not ready for a relationship and all of the emotional baggage that I'd yet to deal with.
“I like you too,” I said. “But –”
“Just friends,” he said. “I know. I just want to make it clear from the beginning that I enjoy your company. I enjoy talking to you and just being around you. Probably more than I should let myself. I like you, Rose, and I just want you to know that, even if I'm unable to open up about my life or my family right now.”
“I'm confused?” I said, laughing. “But that's fine. I don't need to know everything about you and your life if we're just friends. I figure you can tell me more when you're comfortable doing so. But I enjoy your company as well, Asher. You've definitely made me see some things in different ways – especially you. But for now, I think it sounds like it's in both our best interests to keep things friendly.”
He smiled and gave me a small nod, something like sadness briefly flashing behind his eyes. “You're probably right, Rose.”
The hostess moved to sit us on the patio, but Asher insisted we sit inside instead. I didn't argue. He requested a booth in the back corner of the restaurant, well away from the door. And when we sat down, he took the seat facing the entry, as if he was watching for someone and wanted to keep an eye on the place.
“Let me guess, you don't want your wife walking in and find you having dinner with a friend?” I teased.
Yes, it was a joke, but also my way of finding out if he was married or not. After all, there was so much I didn't know about Asher. For all I knew, he could have a wife and ten kids. I'd never asked and he'd never volunteered that information. I figured, that was just one of those things that would come out over time. But given the fact that he was acting a little strangely, it had piqued my curiosity – and then, I just had to know.
In some ways, I thought that if he were married, it would make things easier. I could use that knowledge to build the partition between friend and lover in my mind. If he was married, he would be nothing more than a friend. And he'd stay on one side of the wall. If he wasn't, he'd perhaps, be on the other side of the wall. Maybe.
“No, no wife,” he said with a hearty laugh. “Just nosy locals. Always up in my business because of who I am.”
“I see,” I said with a coy smile.
Dinner was nice and casual, we laughed a lot. We talked about philosophy and the stars and our favorite books. We talked about everything that crossed our minds and the conversation was free-flowing and easy. Which made it incredibly easy to get lost in the conversation, almost as easy as it was to get lost in his eyes. I limited myself to one cocktail during dinner, and he had a beer. I wasn't going to make the mistake of having too much. I knew I had to be careful around him, since he was easy to fall for.
But when the check came, I wasn't ready to say goodbye yet. Neither was he apparently. We both looked at it for a long while, both of us reluctant to acknowledge it and call it a night. But then he looked up at me, a smile on his face.
“Come on,” he said. “I want to show you something.”
“Where are we going?” I asked, as he took my hand. I was startled by his large hand holding mine, but I couldn't bring myself to pull my hand away. After all, I had to admit – if only to myself – that it felt nice.
“Do you trust me, Rose?” he asked, his eyes twinkling and a smile on his face once more.
“Do I trust you?” I wasn't sure how to answer that. My gut said yes, but all the warnings from my aunt – and my past experience with men – told me that I'd be a fool to trust him. But I went with my gut. “Yes, of course.”
“Then come with me,” he said.
We walked back toward the bookstore, where he had a motorcycle parked out front. “Hop on,” he said.
“Wait, no, I'm not riding with you on that thing,” I said, shaking my head. “No way. I have a fear of things that can kill you if you happen to fall off of it. And in case you hadn't noticed, I'm not the most graceful person in the world.”
“It's a short ride,” he said. “Just out of town a bit. I'll be careful and won't drive too fast. I promise.”
He climbed on the bike and looked back at me, those big, brown eyes of his begging me to go with him. And he looked so damn sexy with the wind blowing through his shoulder-length hair and with the moonlight sparkling off his eyes – how in the hell was I supposed to say no to that?
Without a helmet, I hopped on the back of his bike. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I closed my eyes, gritted my teeth, and held on for dear life. I had to admit, being that close to him, breathing in his musky scent and touching that ripped body, was nice. Very nice.
As we rode on, I found myself growing embarrassed by the fact that the combination of all of that – plus the vibrations of the bike between my thighs – turned me on. Big time. There was a fire burning in the center of me – one that I hadn't felt in some time. It was both a welcome sensation and an unwanted one – unwanted mainly because I would not be able to do a damn thing about it. At least, not until I got home and had a little alone time for myself, anyway. Though, it obviously, was not the same thing. But, we did what we had to do.
We drove for a few miles on the main road before he turned down a private back road. There were signs galore warning trespassers to stay away, handmade ones that made crude threats, and other handmade ones mocking the first set of handmade signs with some colorful rebuttals. The road was curvy and long, but we went slow. It was strange, but I never once sensed my life was in danger with him. The thought that he'd hurt me never crossed my mind once – not even as he took me deep into the woods.
The road ended in a large circular driveway outside a cabin. Asher stopped the bike and we got off. The night air was cool and the moon high overhead cast the world around us in a silvery, monochromatic light. The smell of pine was heavy in the air and everything was peaceful. It was beautiful.
As I surveyed it, I didn't think that cabin was the right word for the place I was looking at. The structure was huge – almost like a mansion – but completely made of wood and logs. As the engine cooled down with a series of clicking and ticking noises, we were surrounded by the sounds of crickets and bullfrogs in the distance. Music to my ears. I loved falling asleep to those sounds – it did wonders for my soul.
“Wow,” I said. “Is this your house?”
He gave me a shrug and a half-smile. “Sort of. It's a family home,” he said. “Currently no one lives here, but we spend time up here when we're looking to get away and mellow out for a little while. Come on.”
He took my hand again – which set the flock of butterflies in my stomach swirling again – but instead of walking into the cabin, he took me around back. There was a patio overlooking a small lake. The moonlight shimmering off the water's surface made it look like a pool of liquid silver. It was absolutely stunning. But that's not what caught my attention.
“Oh my God, the stars! There are so many and they're so bright out here!” I said, staring up at the sky.
“That's why I brought you out here,” he said, watching me with a smile. “I knew you told me you were from the city. And as nice as it is, I don't think the stars look quite like this in Seattle.”
“No, not at all. Too many lights,” I said. “This is amazing.”
“I thought you'd appreciate it,” he said. “I come out here a lot just to look at the stars, but no one else seems to care. We all seem to take it for granted out here. Not me though. I can sit here for hours, just looking up at them.”
“What a shame,” I said. “I could probably soak in this view every single night and never get tired of it.
We stood there, hand-in-hand, just staring up at the sky. He pointed out a few constellations, none of which I'd seen before in the city. They were like chips of diamond set against a black velvet background. They twinkled and flashed. We even saw a few falling stars. It was absolutely magical.
We sat down in the grass, and before long, I found myself leaning into him. His hand was around my shoulder as we talked, and I found myself staring at his lips, trying to work up the courage to kiss him. Trying to drown out the voice in my head that was sounding the warning bells and screaming that it was a terrible, terrible idea.
“I'm so glad you're here with me, Rose,” he said, pushing a strand of my hair out of my face.
“Me too, Asher,” I said.
He leaned his face closer to me, and I had a split second to decide if I was going for it or not. My brain was desperately trying to throw the brakes on and stop us in our tracks. But my heart and my body were busy hitting the accelerator.
“Just friends,” I muttered as I closed the distance between our lips, pressing mine to his.
“Just friends,” he said with a laugh, but he kissed me back.
He took my face into his hands and kissed me in a way that wouldn't be acceptable between friends. I enjoyed every second of it though. I couldn't resist touching him, stroking his chiseled jaw and face, and then moving lower to his chest. His hands moved over my body gently, as if he was still waiting for permission to touch me. I was still too nervous to give myself over to him completely, but his lips and hands were driving me crazy.
The fire in the center of me was back, burning brighter than a bonfire. My body was responding to Asher's touch in a way it hadn't responded to anything in so long. I felt myself growing tense, growing wet, the feeling of absolute need in me burning as bright as the stars overhead.
Asher pushed me back gently on the grass, rolling over and bracing himself on his arms so he didn't put his full weight on top of me. I wrapped my legs around his waist and arched my body upward, our kissing growing more heated, more passionate. His erection was pressing against his deliciously tight jeans and he ground himself against that warm, wet center of me.
I moaned softly – I needed him inside of me. I reached down and removed his belt, which was all the permission he needed to strip me down naked. Removing my shirt, he kissed my breasts, his tongue flicking quickly over my nipples, drawing a gasp from me. He slid the tip of his tongue down my body, moving lower and lower until he was between my legs.
With a lascivious grin on his face, he held my gaze as he slid my jeans and panties down my legs, tossing them over his head and into the grass. I swear I saw the stars reflected in his eyes as he lowered his face to my most intimate parts, kissing and sucking me gently as he went down on me.
With my hands in his hair, I tugged and pulled, grinding myself against his mouth. He slid his tongue inside of me, licking and sucking on that warm center of me. Asher continued to work me over with his mouth as he slid two fingers inside of me, pumping them in and out, sending shockwaves of sensation throughout my body.
I didn't hold myself back – we were totally alone, so there didn't seem to be any need for discretion out there. I gave myself over to the pleasure of his mouth and fingers in me, calling his name at the top of my voice. He continued licking, sucking, and fingering me and I felt that low pressure building up inside of me. I knew my climax was rushing toward me like a freight train, but I wanted it to last, I wanted the pleasure he was giving me by going down on me to never stop.
“Asher, yes! Yes!” as he brought me to orgasm with his mouth in minutes.
No man had ever made me come just by giving me oral sex before – mainly because no one had ever tried. The men I'd been with in my life had expected me to get their rocks off for them, but when it came to giving me some pleasure, they couldn't be bothered. Asher, on the other hand, was a natural, and even with one orgasm down, he was already working toward giving me number two.
But I needed him inside of me. As amazing as his mouth felt on me, I wanted to feel his hard cock deep inside of me.
I pulled his hair so he was looking up at me, a grin plastered across his face, my juices on his mouth shimmering in the moonlight. I didn't even have to ask, it was like he knew exactly what I wanted. Still looking me in the eye, he slowly moved above me, placing the tip of his cock against my opening. Even that lightest of touches was enough to send a ripple of pleasure through me that made me gasp.
“I need you,” I said, my breath shallow and ragged. “I need you inside of me.”
Asher leaned down and kissed me and when he pulled back, the look of pure hunger in his eyes very nearly took my breath away. With my legs wrapped around his waist, I pulled myself up, and once again helped close the distance between our bodies. He entered me slowly, and I savored every inch of him as he slipped between my moist lips and then plunged himself deep into the center of me.
He stared down at me as he moved his hips, our gazes locked as our bodies became one. And gently, he started moving in and out of me, our bodies finding that perfect rhythm that sent waves of sensation through me, causing me to call out his name, over and over again.
“Asher, yes, Asher!”
I dug my nails into his back, drawing a hiss from him. He smiled and kept his rhythm going, even as he took off his t-shirt, letting me rake my nails across his skin. He dropped back down and increased his speed, increased his rhythm, and was driving me absolutely crazy. The fire inside of me was burning out of control and I thought my heart was going to burst through my chest. I held on for dear life as our bodies moved together, the sound of flesh meeting flesh echoing in the night air.
We kissed with a passion and intensity I'd never felt before. One that tore through my body and made me tremble as Asher's movements became more and more desperate. He moaned, said my name softly, and he buried himself deeper and deeper inside of me. I tightened myself around him, causing him to groan louder and louder with each thrust.
I knew he was close, and I so badly wanted to make him come for me. Wanted to make him feel as good as I did when he'd made me orgasm by going down on me. I stared into his eyes once more as I squeezed my muscles around him, tightening myself up just as he thrust himself deep into me.
Asher's eyes widened and a low growl escaped his throat. His body tensed and he squeezed his eyes shut, gritted his teeth, and then he couldn't stop himself from going over the brink. His body shuddered and he cried out, calling my name so loud, it echoed around the lake. I felt his hot seed spurting inside of me and that threw me over the edge. As he continued to unload inside of me, I trembled and cried out as I came hard along with him. Wave after wave of pleasure rippled through us and I felt like the sensations coursing through me would never end – hoping that they wouldn't.
But of course, they eventually did. He slipped out of me, leaving only the feel of warmth and wetness behind. Our breathing was ragged, but there were smiles on both of our faces.
“Rose, oh Rose,” he muttered after he was spent. “That was amazing.”
“Yes, yes it was,” I said, feeling breathless. “Incredible.”
A voice came from behind us, taking us both by surprise. A jolt of adrenaline shot through me and fear replaced that shimmering post-coital glow I'd been wrapped up in.
“Glad someone was having fun,” she said.
Asher quickly stood up and grabbed his pants off the ground and tried to pull them on quickly. “Mariana, what are –”
“I was looking for you,” the woman said, glaring at me with pure contempt and hatred in her eyes. “Thought you might be at the cabin. Didn't know you'd have company though.”
I turned and saw a stunningly beautiful woman standing only a few feet away from us. I grabbed my clothes and tried to cover up my nakedness, humiliation making my face burn bright. I wondered how long she'd been standing there watching us. Wondered how much she'd seen.
“Oh God,” I said, throwing my clothes back on as quickly as I could.
“Yeah, you better be freaking out, sweetie,” the woman said as she strode toward me.
Her high heels dug deeper into the grass with every step, but it didn't slow her down too much. Before she was able to reach me, Asher put himself between us. He was so large that I couldn't see the other woman at all. At least I had a little privacy to get my clothes back on.
“Leave her out of this,” he said. “This is between you and me, Mariana.”
“Is this why you don't want to screw me anymore, Asher?” she asked. “Found a new whore already? Before we're even married? Most guys usually wait until after they're married and life gets a little boring. But then, you've never done things the traditional way, have you?”
“What is she talking about, Asher?” I asked, standing up and tugging at the bottom of my shirt. “A - are you engaged? To her?”
“Yeah, sweetie, he's engaged. To me,” Mariana said. “I'm his fiancé. And who the hell are you?”
“It doesn't matter,” I said, I looked over at Asher, hoping he might say otherwise. But he just stared at the ground, a lost and forlorn look on his face.
Feeling utterly humiliated and angry, I took off toward the front of the cabin. Asher called to me, but I didn't break stride. I just kept running. I was an idiot for believing him. An idiot for trusting him. Once again, a man had abused my trust. Used me. Hurt me.
“Rose, wait, I can explain –”
There was nothing for him to explain. He was just another asshole in a long line of them throughout my life. He was exactly why I said I wouldn't date anyone again. He was exactly why I preferred to be alone.
Asher caught up to me, grabbing my arm, and spinning me so I was facing him. He looked at me with humiliation in his own eyes – but also regret. Regret for getting caught, more than likely.
“Let me go,” I said. “I'm calling a cab. I'm leaving. You need to fix things with your fiancé, or whoever the hell she is. I was an idiot for trusting you. Thank you for being such a prick, Asher.”
I yanked my arm free from his grasp and walked to the front of the cabin. Tears rolled down my face, but I wasn't going to give in to them. I'd screwed up. Made a bad decision. Again. I had allowed myself to open up to Asher and I'd gotten burned. Live and learn.
Though, you would have thought, given my track record, that I would have learned that lesson already. Clearly, I hadn't.
I could hear shouting out behind the cabin. Mariana was rightfully pissed and Asher was trying to defend himself. Truthfully, I couldn't bring myself to listen to any of it. I was too busy trying to keep from crying my eyes out and feeling sorry for myself.