When Sara’s cab had pulled up, the driver had asked her twice if she had the correct address. Not that she blamed him. After filming finished yesterday, the circus had moved on to whatever its next location was, leaving the huge lot wrapped in a dark shroud.
“I have to admit, when I got your message, I was relieved.” Ryan stood on the other end of the trailer’s island from her and seemed to be having a hard time figuring out where to look or what to do with his hands. “After earlier, I doubted you’d want to talk to me again, let alone see me.”
Sara knew this was going to be hard, but had no idea how much worse it could be until now. The warm open person she’d fallen for was holding everything back and doing his best to keep his distance. It was obvious to her that Ryan was worried about scaring her, and though she may not be sure how she felt about what he’d shown her in the truck, she was no longer afraid of him.
“I know, and I’m sorry about that.” She took a step closer, and he leaned away, crossing his arms over his broad chest. Sara wanted to weep. Fully aware of what it was like to be held in those arms, she desperately wanted to feel them around her again. Particularly now.
Stop it. Stay focused.
Sara cleared her throat and pointed to the sofa. “Can we sit?” She glanced away from his wary eyes. “Have a drink, maybe?” Oh god, could she really go through with this?
“Yeah, sure.” Ryan opened a drawer and retrieved a corkscrew to open her “peace offering” then blushed. “I’m afraid I only have plastic cups; real glass doesn’t do well bouncing down the road. I hope that’s okay.”
Sara sat on the nearby sofa before her knees gave out. “Yes, of course.” Instead of being endearing, why couldn’t he have been mad or cold, then maybe this would be easier.
Ryan plopped down a full cushion’s width away from her with a hesitant grin and handed her a red plastic cup. “Here you go, only top notch around here.”
Cute was worse than endearing. Sara took a sip to steady her resolve. “Thank you. Ryan, I—”
His demeanor turned serious, and suddenly she wanted cute back. “I’m glad you’re here. We really need to finish our conversation—”
She knew where he was headed and had to cut him off. She couldn’t handle much more. It was already too hard not telling him everything, but the risk to Hailey was too great. Sara had to get on with this before she lost her nerve. It was already after ten; she was running out of time. “Not yet. First, let me apologize again for freaking out earlier. I don’t claim to be okay with everything, but I should’ve at least listened. I…it was just a lot to take in.”
His expression crumpled. “No. Sara, please don’t. It should be me apologizing. I can only imagine how hard this is.” A shadow passed over his eyes. “I’m guessing you’re here only because of Hailey, and I swear I won’t push you on anything else. I know you can’t look at me the same way anymore, and believe me, if I could change what I am for you, I would. But I can’t so…I get it.”
He was so far off the mark it was killing her. She’d put that look of self-loathing in his eyes and wished with all her heart she could erase it, giving him back what she’d taken.
Ryan blinked and resolve took its place. “The only thing that matters right now is your sister, and I swear to you we will get her back.”
Sara’s gaze locked with his, and she was instantly at her heart’s mercy. She shifted closer, cupped his cheek, and traced his lower lip with her thumb. “I know.”
His eyes widened, and he sucked in a breath of air. The shock she saw flash over his features hurt. He truly did believe she’d loathe touching him now. How she wished she had the time to show him she saw a desirable man, worthy of far better than her, not a monster. If Sara could give him that back, maybe someday she’d be able to hate herself a little less for the rest.
Sara leaned in and replaced her thumb with her lips and softly kissed his. “We can talk about the rest later. For now, let’s just focus on getting my sister back.”
Ryan pulled her close and cupped her head to his chest. “Okay.” Willing time to halt a little longer, Sara relished the comforting strokes of his hand through her hair and focused on the little sounds he made as he kissed the top of her head, etching the moment into her mind to treasure later.
“Thank you, Sara, and I promise we will get Hailey back.”
The deep rumble of his voice restarted the fickle clock, and she squeezed her eyes tight, praying she’d have the strength to do what came next. Should she confide in him instead? You can’t. There’s no time; they’re going to kill Hailey. Unable to stomach looking Ryan in the face after the tender moment they’d just shared, Sara turned her head as she pushed away and wanted to rail at whatever fate had brought them to this terrible point.
“Sara, hey, are you okay?”
She sensed his hand reaching and couldn’t allow the contact, so she jerked forward to the edge of her seat, bumping the table with her knee and upsetting her glass. Her wine spilled everywhere. “Oh no!”
Ryan scooped up the toppled cup and leapt for the paper towel roll hanging over the sink.
With his back to her, the plan she hadn’t been able to come up with solidified, and before she made the mistake of allowing herself to think, Sara slipped her hand into the side pocket of her purse and pulled out the vial.
Checking that Ryan was still turned away, she popped the stopper and tipped it over the edge of his glass, splashing half of it past the rim in the process where it mixed with her ill-fated wine. Crap. All she could do was hope it wasn’t noticeable. Ryan turned around as she was pulling her hand back from dumping the empty vessel back in her purse. Her guilt-ridden heart danced in her throat the hour-long thirty seconds it took for the mess to be wiped up and her glass to be refilled.
“There, no harm done.”
Sara hoped what was on her face resembled a smile. “Good.” Sweat trickled down her back as she lifted her glass toward him and squeaked. “Cheers?”
Ryan’s brow crinkled with a hint of confusion. “Okay.”
It took every ounce of will Sara had to not swat his glass away as he tapped hers then lifted it to his lips and drank. Her stomach roiled as she set hers down without touching it. She couldn’t. She’d throw up whatever she drank if she did.
He didn’t miss the slight. “Hey, you’re supposed…to”—Ryan shook his head—“drink.”
The glass began to slip from his fingers, and Sara took it from his limp hand to set it back on the table.
“Sara?” His words were slurred and his eyes struggled to focus while hers filled with tears. “What…what’s”—he listed to the side, and she caught his shoulders, lowering him gently down to rest on his side—“going on?” Sweat broke out on his brow and his eyelids fluttered.
Sara leaned in next to his nose and whimpered with relief that he was still breathing. Please let him stay that way. His jaw clenched hard, his teeth grinding, then his face went slack, and she couldn’t watch anymore. This was all her fault. She’d done this to him.
If you hadn’t, you know what they’ll do to Hailey. She’d had no choice. With a shuddering breath, Sara gathered her purse, stumbled to the far side of the island, and pulled out her phone.
Wham! Bang!
Sara jumped, dropping the device, and spun toward the door to the back section. Zander’s growl was menacing from the other side of the metal barrier as he scratched and battered it.
Prey instinct kicked in, and Sara dove for her phone then flew out the door.
“Did you do as you were told? Is the bastard down?”
From where she stood at the far end of the lot from Ryan’s trailer, Sara scanned the inky outline of trees in front of her and did her best to keep the fear out of her voice. “Yes…but please…what was in the vial? Will he be okay?”
“Good girl. And if I wanted him dead yet, he would be. Now, do you see the parking lights in the distance?”
Sara’s sigh of relief was audible. “Thank god. So, he’ll be okay? Please? I have to know.”
“Do you want your sister to keep breathing?”
The voice on the other end dripped malice, and hers came out as a whisper. “Yes.”
“Then shut up and continue to do as you’re told.”
“Okay, okay.” Sara blinked through her tears and squinted, trying to see what the voice was talking about. “Which way?”
“Turn to your left until I tell you to stop.”
Sara sucked in a breath. Oh, my god! He was watching her?
“Stop. Do you see it?”
A faint light peeked through the trees in the distance. “Yes, I think so.”
“Good. Now, you’re going to drop your phone, after you turn its flashlight app on so I can see it. Then walk straight toward that spot. When you get there, you’ll find the Doll’s Head Trail entrance. Follow it.”
Sara’s hand shook so badly, she had troubling finding the app, but finally managed it. She needed both to put the device back up to her ear without dropping it. “Okay. Doll’s Head; where do I go after that?”
A red dot appeared on her chest and the man on the other end snarled. “Drop the phone and move now!”
Sara dropped it like a hot coal, and with the haunting howl of Ryan’s wolf condemning her to hell in the distance, she forced her feet to move one after the other.