Chapter 7
“ARE your legs ready to give out yet?” Marci nodded at Elaine’s next dance partner. As Lex’s band launched into a cover of “Careless Whisper” by Wham, Bart Cairo kissed his wife, Charlotte, and made his way toward them.
The guys had been so good, making sure Elaine never had to stand alone during any of the slow songs. So far, she’d danced with Ryland, Anton, Jani, Soren, Killian, Byron, and Percy. Even young Gunnar had taken her for a spin. Her feet were sore, but she appreciated it. They knew how much Lloyd loved to dance with her. Not having him here was sort of like being an unpopular girl at the high school dance again, wondering if anyone would offer to spin her around the floor.
In fact, her first dance with Lloyd had been in high school. He’d just arrived in Lake Gemini when they were in their junior year, and all the girls had taken note. Elaine had never dreamed she’d grab his attention. She’d been the quiet girl who always felt out of place. He was an enigmatic stranger with a secret.
Lloyd had first approached her at the Christmas dance. She’d been part of the decorating committee, a convenient cover. Her committee activities allowed her to look busy. If she spent her evening fussing over the balloons and ribbons, no one would notice she wasn’t dancing.
Lloyd had noticed, though.
He’d walked toward her through the crowd, like the sexy bad boy in a John Hughes movie, and Elaine could have sworn heads turned. After all, what on earth would the hottest guy in school want with her? He’d reached for her hand with no preamble. No introductions. He didn’t smile. Instead, his gaze had penetrated, as if ripping a layer off her skin, leaving her raw and wondering.
He’d guessed at her loneliness because he understood it.
“The balloons are fine. You should be dancing.”
She’d never had such a swoon-worthy moment. It had changed her life. They’d been an item ever since. He was her first love, the one who would open her up to a new world, helping her see things she’d never noticed. Lloyd had been her introduction to love, to sex, and to commitment.
Lloyd had also introduced her to the existence of shape shifters.
He’d brought her to the woods one day, a few months after they’d begun dating. He had been nervous all day, and her emotions had followed suit.
They’d reached a sunny clearing, and he’d stopped walking.
“Did you bring me here to break up with me?” she’d asked, readying her young heart for devastation.
“Break up with you? Damn, Elaine. Whatever gave you that idea?”
“I don’t know. You’ve been acting weird since first period.”
“I’m sorry, babe.” He’d cupped both her cheeks. “I love you. You’re my girl.”
“I love you, too.” Her heart had almost burst from relief.
“But I need to show you something. It’s a huge secret. I don’t feel right keeping it from you. No one knows about it except my family.”
“You can trust me. With anything.” She’d meant it. She would rather have endured festering boils than betray him in any way.
“I know I can, but I don’t want to scare you. What you’re about to see…it’s still me. I promise it’s still me and I won’t hurt you. Okay?”
Her pulse had ratcheted up a few notches. She wasn’t sure what he meant. Did he have an illness of some kind? Some sort of disfigurement? She’d seen every inch of his body, and it had always looked perfect to her.
After removing all his clothes, he’d shifted into his brown bear. Majestic and strong, the animal had towered over her, but she’d felt no fear because its gaze remained gentle and troubled. Lloyd’s kind eyes shone as clear as day from the bear’s face.
She’d put out a tentative hand. With lumbering movements, he’d lowered himself and bumped his head against her hand.
He’d been afraid of frightening her, but she’d never been more in awe.
He was her very own teddy bear, and in mating with her a few years later, he’d turned her into his lady bear.
And she’d never dance with him again.
Lloyd had put the stars in her sky, but when he died, those stars extinguished forever. Her world had been so dark without him.
“Elaine?” said Marci. “If you’re too tired, I can tell Bart to wait.”
“Who’s tired?” Bart appeared in front of them, handsome in his dress pants, vest, and pocket watch. “The party’s just getting started. Besides, you’re doing me a favor. Charlotte hates this song whereas I adore Wham.”
“You’re full of shit.” Marci laughed. “You’re a Led Zeppelin man through and through.”
“And when Lex has the balls to play “Stairway to Heaven,” I’ll be on the floor with my air guitar, baby.” He grinned and grabbed Elaine’s hand. “Let’s go.”
“Actually, Elaine promised me this dance.”
They all turned. Connor stood behind them. He’d taken off his suit jacket and had rolled up his shirtsleeves. Somehow, slightly rumpled, he looked even sexier than he had at the beginning of the night. The blue of his tie caught her eye, and she once again couldn’t help wondering if he’d chosen it because it was her eye color.
All of a sudden, the nervous high school girl appeared out of nowhere. It was like watching Lloyd cut through the crowd of popular students all over again.
A lump materialized in her throat. She swallowed it. “I don’t want to offend Bart.”
Connor’s gaze darted toward the wolf shifter. Bart’s nod was almost imperceptible, but Elaine saw it. A world of understanding seemed to pass between the two men.
Bart leaned over and kissed her on the cheek, whispering, “I’m not offended. I’ll see you later. I have a feeling Connor might monopolize you tonight anyway.” With a smile, he headed back to his mate.
“Dance with me.” Connor took her by the hand and led her onto the floor.
Elaine glanced over her shoulder at Marci.
Her friend smiled and mouthed, “Good luck.”
“I should just check on the kids first.”
Connor pulled her into his arms. “The kids are fine. They’re right over there, dancing with Suzan and the guys.”
Sure enough, Suzan and her mates, Percy and Byron, held hands with Layla and Andy and danced in a circle. They whirled the kids around, making them giggle.
“See?” Connor placed one of her hands on his shoulder and held the other hand. “They’re safe and happy. Stop worrying and dance with me.”
A respectable distance separated them as they swayed. She tried hard to keep her eyes trained on spots over his shoulder, rather than meeting his gaze. His shoulder muscles were tense under her hand but felt nice. Lloyd had been a bigger, beefier man, with a stature typical of bear men. Connor, on the other hand, was all great cat. While still blessed with large dimensions, he was harder, leaner, sleeker. She wanted to traipse her fingers across his back, noting all the little differences.
It was funny how she’d never realized just how broad his shoulders were. Her bear seemed to notice. The animal clawed at her insides, trying to get closer.
Beads of perspiration appeared on her upper lip.
Onstage, Lex crooned something about “guilty feet” and a lack of rhythm.
Oh, brother. Elaine stepped on Connor’s toe. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it. I don’t know how you walk in those shoes. They’re so high.”
“I appreciate Gioia lending them to me, but they’re killing my feet.”
“Take them off.” Rather than stepping aside to let her slip out of them, Connor knelt before her. “Here. Let me help you.”
Aghast, Elaine had no choice but to let him. He touched a gentle hand to her first ankle and slid the shoe off. His thumb smoothed over her anklebone. The touch started a chain reaction of shivers up her calf. Connor set the shoe down and reached for her other ankle. As he removed her other shoe, his fingers grazed the sensitive bottom of her foot. Her skin on her legs broke out in goose pimples.
He looked up, his gaze searing. He’d noticed the change in her body.
For a moment, he didn’t move and remained on his knees, his gaze trapping hers and his hand on her foot. It seemed silly, but he made her feel precious, adored.
Like Cinderella in reverse.
“There.” He stood, his voice gruff, and brought her into his embrace once more. “Now I have to be careful not to step on your toes, lady.”
At least now, shorter by four inches, she could bury her gaze in his chest and avoid the heat in his eyes.
Lex must have sung other lyrics, but all she heard, over and over, was the bit about guilty feet.
God, I hate this song.
She wasn’t sure what was more excruciating. Her remorse at betraying Lloyd or her worry that Connor might do something dumb, like try to kiss her. Perhaps worry wasn’t the right word. The gurgle in her gut spoke more of anticipation.
She wanted him to kiss her.
She couldn’t stop wondering what it would be like to feel his lips and the rasp of his beard. Would it scratch her? Would he nibble her lip? Would he slide his tongue into her mouth and take control, or would he tease and pull back?
As they danced, a stray hair fell into her eyes. Connor brushed it away, but his fingers lingered at her hair, smoothing the strands between his fingers. “You are so beautiful.”
Her bear preened at the compliment, even as more perspiration broke out on her skin. It gathered on her lower back, and she prayed he wouldn’t feel it through the fabric of the dress. “Thank you.”
Lex’s band transitioned into another slow song. Thank heavens. If she never heard Wham again, it would be too fucking soon.
The key changed, and Elaine groaned inwardly. “The Sweetest Taboo” by Sade.
Not helping, Lex. She’d have to speak to the bandleader about his play list. Perhaps if she begged, she could persuade him to stick to songs with faster, unromantic tempos.
“Did I ever tell you about my major crush on Sade?” Connor grinned.
“No. Spill.”
“Well, of course I discovered her years after she was popular in the 80s, but I had it bad. I found pictures of her when I was fifteen. I was helping my uncle move apartments, and he’d had a bunch of old fan magazines from his teen years. He never knew it, but I took one look at her, stole every single magazine, and brought them home. I kept Sade in the drawer of my bedside table. She entertained me for hours on end. That woman was my sexual awakening.”
Elaine laughed. “I had no idea.”
“Yeah. It was embarrassing. A few buddies from school discovered her there one day when we were hanging out. One of them, Chris, still calls me once a year to prank me. He’ll phone me up and pretend to be Sade. He puts on an English accent, and then he begs me to take her out of the bedside table.”
“You poor dear.”
“Just another lovelorn fool.”
“And I thought you were a lady-killer.”
He reddened. “No more than anyone else.”
“That’s not what I’ve heard. Lloyd used to share all your tales of conquest. They were our entertainment.”
“Is that right?” Connor’s jaw ticked, and he looked away. “Great.”
“In fact, there’s one memorable story. Lloyd said you had two women on the go and were doing your best to keep them away from each other. He said it was like a sitcom.”
His sigh cut her off. “Do you want a drink?”
“I’m not thirsty.”
“Well, I am.” Holding her hand, he pulled her off the dance floor, toward the bar.
Once they were situated at the bar, Anton and Jani joined them there. Their faces were stern, and they asked Connor a couple of details about some issue with illegal hunting.
Elaine didn’t pay attention to the conversation. She was too busy musing over the changes in Connor’s demeanor. He was never the sort of man to run out of things to say, and yet as soon as she brought up his history with women, he’d clammed up. Interesting, considering he’d always been the sort to take delight in recounting his sexual adventures.
She probably shouldn’t have pushed it, but a part of her wanted to poke the bear, or the mountain lion, in this case.
The bartender offered her a ginger ale, and she took it, even though she didn’t need it to quench her thirst.
As Connor talked to Jani and Anton, his gaze slipped toward her several times. Worry radiated off his body, from his creased eyes to his clenched hands.
Connor might like to talk, but not so much about the women he’d dated. Not now, anyway.
That made Elaine even more determined to find out why.
* * * *
By the grace of God, Lex played ten upbeat songs in a row. Connor made a mental note to take Lex out for drinks soon.
It wasn’t that he disliked dancing with Elaine, their bodies so close. If anything, he’d had to keep a bit of space between them so she wouldn’t notice the rod of iron in his pants. He just didn’t appreciate the glee in her voice when she talked about the women in his life.
He didn’t realize his love life was such a source of amusement to his friends.
Of course, he’d brought it on himself. Part of the bond he’d had with Lloyd and with the other guys was their ability to talk about women. Shape shifter men were wired differently than human men. Their frustrations seemed worse. Their emotions ran deeper. Their bodies reacted with an urgency no human man would ever understand. Connor had always liked having shifter friends with whom he could shoot the shit. They understood the struggles of the dating world.
Although Lloyd had mated with his high school sweetheart and had been committed to Elaine ever since, he’d had a few girlfriends before her. Talking about Connor’s love life reminded Lloyd of his young, foolish days, or so he’d always said. They’d lived vicariously through each other. When Connor dished about his dates, Lloyd got to experience those days again.
And when Lloyd used to talk about how much he loved Elaine, about how he’d gladly die to keep his family safe, Connor had listened in wonder.
Connor had always pretended to be happy as a bachelor. He’d never told anyone, not even Lloyd, how much he wished he could find someone just like Elaine.
Just like Elaine.
Those were the moments when he used to look her way, hoping Lloyd wouldn’t see. The moments when he’d notice the sheen to her hair or the way her breasts swelled.
They were the moments he’d hated himself for coveting his friend’s wife.
He never would have acted on his attraction to Elaine. Never. Instead, he’d head over to the pub at the Ursa, chat up one of the waitresses, and take her home. As his mouth roved over the bodies of other women, he would sometimes dream about what it would be like to have Elaine underneath him.
His curiosity tortured him some nights, but he never let anyone glimpse it.
At least, he thought he’d been discreet.
Lloyd had never given any indication that he’d noticed Connor’s interest. If he had, he would have punched his lights out. Lloyd was always a good guy, but he still had a temper where his mate was concerned, just like any shifter male.
Maybe he hadn’t really known Connor’s interest then. Maybe, in death, he now understood everything. Perhaps he forgave everything too.
It didn’t make Connor feel any better.
He walked over to the bar and ordered a beer. When a gentle hand landed on his shoulder, he turned.
Elaine stood behind him, her cheeks glowing from all her dancing. “You’ve sat out the last three songs.” She reached for his hand. “Come dance with us.”
She’d been having fun on the dance floor with Gioia, Soren, Charlotte, and Bart. Elaine’s kids hovered around Charlotte, who held baby Lloyd in her arms. Connor had watched them but hadn’t felt like participating.
Some dance partner he was.
“Just resting my legs,” he fibbed.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I’ll be right there.”
Lex began another slow song.
Wonderful. Forget that drink, Lex.
Elaine looked at Connor, her eyes lit up. As much as Connor wanted to drag her into his arms and push her up against the bar to steal a kiss, he resisted.
Luckily, Andy and Layla ran up to her. “Mommy, Mommy,” they cried. “Dance!”
“I’d love to dance with you,” she said. She brought them onto the dance floor, and the three of them swayed, holding hands.
She glanced at Connor again.
His mountain lion snarled, showing its displeasure with his sulking. Lloyd wants us to dance with Elaine. Why are we standing here?
That was thing about spirit animals. They felt no conflict. Everything was black or white to them.
As much as Connor wanted to throw caution to the wind and obey his hedonistic mountain lion’s call, he gave in to his human side. And he had never felt more torn.
* * * *
When the next set of slow songs began, Elaine didn’t even look in Connor’s direction. He clearly wasn’t in the mood to dance with her, never mind talk to her. Since he’d absconded to the bar, she’d tried a couple of times to entice him out onto the floor again, but each time he’d made an excuse.
She’d upset him earlier, and the knowledge made her stomach turn.
However, although her bear urged her to seek him out again, she refrained. The bear might not possess any pride, but Elaine did. She wouldn’t beg any man for a dance and certainly not Connor Church.
She made her way over to Lia and Ryland’s table. Lia, at eight months pregnant, had sat out most of the dances. Ryland, her devoted mate, sat with her. They’d gotten up once or twice for the slow songs. Each time, Elaine had watched, rapt.
Ryland had held Lia gently in his arms so as not to cause her any discomfort. They’d moved slowly, lost in each other. He caressed her protruding belly. She rested her head on his shoulder.
Love shone all around them.
As much as Elaine had enjoyed watching her friends, her pain had resurfaced. It had been a good evening so far, aside from her bizarre tension with Connor. But when she saw Lia and Ryland dancing, it brought back memories of Lloyd.
Each time they’d learned she was pregnant, Lloyd had been so happy. She would never forget the wonder in his brown eyes, the gratitude and joy.
She missed him so much.
She couldn’t even wallow properly in her grief when Connor stood at the bar, glaring at her. What was his problem anyway?
Elaine plunked herself down next to Lia. “Mind if I join you?”
“Of course, not.” Lia glanced at Connor. “Not dancing?”
“I need a break.”
“Are you sure, Elaine?” said Ryland, grinning. “I’d be happy to take you for a spin. You know, seeing as my pregnant mate refuses to dance.”
Lia elbowed him.
“No, thanks. I’m fine.” Ryland was sweet, but she didn’t want to dance with him.
She wanted to dance with Connor. She wanted to dance with Lloyd. And she felt guilty for wanting both.
Why did life have to be so complicated? Wasn’t it bad enough her mate had been ripped from her? Suzan talked about the universe. What was the goddamn universe thinking by making her feel this way about Connor?
After Lloyd was killed, Elaine had read somewhere that God gave people only what they could handle. That there was some sort of lesson to be learned in every experience.
What on earth was she supposed to learn from losing her mate? Was this some sort of test? If so, surely she’d already failed.
Lloyd, why did you leave me?
Her bear let out a mournful cry. She put her hand over her mouth so she wouldn’t howl along with it.
Breathe, Elaine.
And yet she couldn’t breathe. She stared at the floor tiles, at the lined pattern in the shiny, new hardwood. If she cut out all the noise and concentrated on her heart, she could almost hear the irregular beat. Every time she thought of Lloyd, she could swear the spaces between the beats grew longer and longer.
A pair of black men’s shoes appeared in her field of vision. She looked up, her gaze panning slowly from the black dress pants to the blue tie to Connor’s earnest face.
“Elaine, I’m sorry for my mood.” He held out his hand. “Will you please dance with me?”
His brown eyes implored. If she stared at him and blurred her vision a little, he almost looked like Lloyd. She hated herself for noting the similarities. Connor didn’t deserve to be compared to her dead husband.
Get a grip. She took a bracing breath. “I’d love to dance with you.”
He exhaled in apparent relief and led her onto the floor.
Lex transitioned into a new song. “Love Hurts” by Nazareth.
Elaine cursed silently. So help me, God, I am never going to one of Lex’s gigs ever again.
Connor swung her into his arms. “I’ve been an ass tonight.”
“No, you haven’t.”
“I’d like to explain.”
“There’s nothing to explain, Connor. I knew this evening would be emotional for me, but I realize it’s hard for everyone else as well.”
“It’s not that. I mean I miss Lloyd, but—”
“Let’s not talk about Lloyd right now.” Her chest hurt. Traitor. “I’m so tired of talking about Lloyd.”
He frowned. “Of course. What would you like to talk about?”
“I don’t know. I don’t care. How about the weather or your thoughts on global warming? Or maybe we should resume the conversation about your ex-girlfriends? Yeah, why don’t we talk about them?”
When had that crazy shrill tone slipped into her voice?
“Maybe the weather would be safer.”
“Oh, come on, Connor. Weather’s boring, but you lead a very exciting life. You know, with Marcelle…and Mary and Darlene and Becky and Nicole and—”
“We get the picture. You don’t need to list any others.”
“But it’s fascinating. If I’m not mistaken, I think you’ve dated one woman for every letter of the alphabet at least once. In fact, wasn’t that one of your sexual challenges? I seem to recall you and Lloyd joking about it.”
“That’s enough, Elaine.”
Her fingernails dug into his shoulders. “But I’m just getting started.”
“Could we not talk about this please?”
“Why not?”
He stopped moving. “Because I don’t want to talk about other women. I’m here with you, and I’m not that man anymore. Do you understand?”
Whoa. She’d done it again. She’d put her foot in her mouth big time. Why did she keep pushing Connor? More to the point, why did she keep pushing him away? She was fucked up on so many levels. “Okay. I’m sorry.”
He shook his head. “No, I’m sorry. It’s just…things have changed, Elaine. I want different things now. The past few months have been so fucking hard. I lost my best friend, and when you took off to Alaska, I felt like I lost another one. Then you waltz back into my life, and it’s like everything has gone back to how it was before. Only it’s not. I feel like I’m living in this bizarre world where nothing makes sense and yet everything makes sense at the same time.” He wiped a hand over his mouth. “I’m standing here on a dance floor with the prettiest girl in the world on my arm. And I don’t know what to do because I want so badly to kiss you but I’m afraid of scaring you away again.”
Oh God. He felt it too. Elaine’s heart hammered.
Maybe, if they were both dealing with the same emotions, they could get through this. Maybe her friends were right and Connor had come into her life for a reason.
Then again, perhaps they were both off their rockers.
“And the worst part of all,” he continued, his voice rising, “is knowing Lloyd wants me to kiss you! What kind of fucked-up person dreams up that kind of shit?”
The couples closest to them stopped dancing.
“Wait.” The lump at the back of her throat enlarged. Its burlap texture grated against her soft flesh. “What was that about Lloyd?”
He exhaled and rolled his eyes. “Jesus Christ, I can’t believe I said that out loud. Look, don’t overreact, but I’ve been having these dreams. Lloyd’s always there, and he tells me he wants us to be together. You and me. And I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t considered it. A lot.”
“Lloyd came to you in a dream?”
“I guess so. I don’t know. It was just a dream.”
“Let’s not be too hasty here. I’ve heard of people dreaming of loved ones after they die. And everyone who does feels like they were visited, that they got a message from beyond the grave.”
“It was just a stress dream.”
“No. It’s clear. He came to you. To you.” She blinked over angry tears. “Not to me.”
“Elaine, I—”
“No, let me explain, Connor. You see, since Lloyd was killed, I have gone to bed every single night hoping I’d see him. Hoping for one more moment so I could tell him how sorry I am that I wasn’t there when he died. That the thought of him dying without me burns me up inside with a fever that just won’t break.”
People were looking at them. The band had stopped playing. She was crying. She didn’t care.
“I’ve prayed for a chance to hear his voice again, to see his smile. When baby Lloyd was born, I thought he might be a sign, some sort of reassurance Lloyd’s gone on to a better place. But then nothing. When I was in Alaska, I was desperate to make contact. One night, I was so broken, and I couldn’t sleep. I went out into the woods by myself late at night. I walked for hours, straining my eyes for some clue that this all makes sense.”
“Elaine.”
“Let me finish. Do you know what I saw that night?”
“What?”
“A brown bear. He looked just like Lloyd, big and proud. Anyone else would have been scared, but I wasn’t. I thought maybe this was my sign. I walked up to that bear, even though it was three times my size. I didn’t even shift. I stared it in the eye, knowing it would either kill me or it would be my Lloyd.” She choked down a gulp of saliva. “But it was just a bear. Just a dumb bear. It sniffed me, and it walked away. Some sign, huh?”
Connor’s fists clenched at his sides. “What were you thinking, woman? You could have been mauled.”
“I didn’t care. That night, I stopped believing in signals and signs. I’ve tried so hard to see him again. I’ve looked for him everywhere. And you know what? He hasn’t appeared to me, his goddamn mate! He comes to you, offering me up on a fucking platter by the sounds of it, but never bothered to check with me first. It’s heartwarming to know the two of you feel you can trade me back and forth, like some old hockey jersey.”
“It wasn’t like that.”
“Oh no? What was it like, Connor?”
“He…he said he wants me to take care of you.”
“Take care of me? Guess what, buddy? I can take care of myself!”
“Really? Your little bear hunt tells me another story.”
“Don’t you dare criticize me. You have no idea what I’ve been going through! No one here does.” She turned to the assembled guests, holding out her arms. “Do you? None of you know anyone in my position. And if you’ve ever known a widowed shifter, that person is probably dead now. I should be dead by now. I’m a ghost!”
Andy and Layla crept up to her, but she was too far-gone. All her rage and shame poured out of her, and it was too late to bottle it up.
Andy hugged her thigh. “Mommy, don’t cry.”
Their eyes were filled with tears, too. Their beautiful brown eyes, just like Lloyd’s.
Her body shaking, Elaine surrendered to her fury and screamed. “Lloyd, why did you leave me? I hate you!”
No one moved. The only sounds in the room were her sobs and those of her children.
Immediately, remorse deadened every other pain. Their faces were so white. She’d hurt them by spouting her garbage.
She was the worst mother in the world.
“Mommy,” said Layla. “Do you really hate Daddy?”
“No, sweetheart, no. I’m so sorry. I was just sad. I didn’t mean it.”
Only she had. She was so angry. How could Lloyd let himself be killed? How could he leave her?
Layla and Andy began to tremble and sway in their spots. Their eyes grew unfocused, and they scratched their skin.
Andy grabbed his belly. “I don’t feel good.”
Just as Elaine was about to reach for them, a ripping sound startled her into awareness. Another rrrrip demanded her attention. A third sounded from right in front of Layla.
Her little daughter looked down at her tummy. “Mommy, my new dress. It’s breaking.”
Rip. Rip. Rip. Andy’s pants split down the front. Layla’s white tights began to run in several places, finally popping off her legs. Elaine glimpsed patches of brown bear fur under every split piece of fabric. Within seconds, their clothing lay torn on the floor.
“Oh, no,” whispered Elaine. “Not again.”
Josh Douglas raced through the assembled guests toward her, in doctor mode. He grabbed hold of her arms. “Elaine, stay calm.”
Layla reached for her, but as she did, her arms erupted in fur and claws extended from her fingers. Andy shrieked and clawed at what was left of his skin. It wasn’t long before two tiny bears stood among the crowd, huddling together. Their eyes were wide and wet, and their cries sounded just like the whining of bear cubs in the wild. They moved in nervous circles. Doctor Josh crouched before them, speaking in calm tones, trying to help them.
Many of the guests gasped, never having seen such young children shift before. Someone in the crowd was crying, but Elaine couldn’t tell who. All she heard was the moans of her children.
“My babies.” Elaine stepped toward them, but pain sliced into her head. Her eyelashes fluttered, and her head felt heavy. When her knees gave out, she couldn’t fight the fall.
As the lights extinguished around her, she was barely conscious of two strong arms catching her and holding her up.
Connor.
Would he ever forgive her?
Darkness swarmed her, leaving her all alone.
Please, no! She was tired of feeling alone.
Even in that horrible abyss, she prayed for Lloyd to come to her, to say something. To explain what the hell he meant by visiting Connor and not her.
Just a word. A tap on the shoulder. Anything.
But he never came.
* * * *
John Page almost dropped his tray of drinks. He set it down on a table so he didn’t fumble again.
What the hell? He knew working at a shape shifter resort might be interesting, but he’d never expected this.
As several people, Ryland and his pals, raced to shelter the small bears and their mother, John pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and snapped a couple of quick pics.
Baby bear shifters. No one would ever believe him.
He remembered his first shift. He’d been seventeen. While in gym class, he’d been taunted by Donald Franklin, the kid who always beat his time at track and field. John had been on a mission to finally beat him. Out on the track, just as he was running around the bend, thinking of how he would rub it in Donald’s face, something happened. His body went nuts. Before he knew it, he was standing on the track in the shape of a bear.
Luckily, the students and teacher hadn’t witnessed the actual moment of his shift. Donald Franklin, on another bend in the track, had taken a major wipeout and everyone had run in his direction, fearing a bad injury.
John had clawed at his torn clothes, snagging them with his clumsy paws. He took the opportunity to lope into the nearby woods and catch his breath. At first, he’d been confused. After all, his family had never bothered to tell him much about what his first shift would be like. His dad had always been too drunk, and his mom had been too busy at work. Although he’d never felt more alone than in that moment, he managed to pull himself together.
But these kids? They looked about three or four. That was some crazy shit. They’d probably have nightmares for years.
He snapped another stealthy photo as Connor ran past, carrying Elaine. Without making eye contact, John slid the phone into his pocket.
Connor pushed his way toward the door, followed by a couple of other guys who worked at the lodge, tiger shifters with Hungarian accents. Anton and Jani carried the little bears. John had been introduced to them briefly only once before and had kept a wide berth. Tigers put him on edge and rightly so. There was something distinctly suspicious about these Hungarians. They struck him as worldlier than some of the other inhabitants of Gemini Island, just the sort of superior specimens Hill would love to get his hands on.
Elaine had some strong and faithful friends. There was always someone hovering around her, and Connor wouldn’t leave her side. How was John ever supposed to get close to her when she was constantly flanked by her buddies?
Royal Hill wanted John to get more photos of Elaine. In the chaos of the last few minutes, he’d finally been able to take a few. Otherwise, what did Hill expect him to do? Hide in her closet?
Doctor Douglas followed the others. Sheesh. John had forgotten about him. These people even had a medicine man on their side.
There were eyes everywhere. He had to be so careful.
Ryland, his face pinched, took the stage and grabbed the microphone from the band singer. “Excuse me, everyone. I apologize for the commotion. As you all know, this has been an emotional time for everyone at the Ursa. Elaine is going through a difficult period, but we’re all family here. I know you’ll respect her and give her the space she needs to adjust. I also know I can rely on everyone here to be discreet.” He smiled and turned to the bandleader. “Now, Lex. How about another song?”
“You bet, Ry.”
Ryland headed off the stage, grabbed his wife by the hand, and joined the others outside.
Stymied, John jumped when his cell phone buzzed in his pocket. He checked the text. It was from Royal Hill.
I’m waiting, John. I feel like you’ve been avoiding my calls.
Shit. He needed to think without Hill breathing down his neck. If he could just stall him for a while longer.
Without stopping to think of the immediate implications, he responded. You want details on Elaine? How’s this?
With nothing else to show, he forwarded the photos he’d just taken of Elaine and the little bear kids.
It took Hill only a few seconds to respond.
I want her, and I want those cubs. Make it happen.
John turned off his phone and tucked it back in his pocket. Sweat broke out on his forehead, and he wiped it away. A prickle itched the back of his neck.
What had he done?
Just what was Hill’s obsession with Elaine anyway? She was just some woman. Sure, she might be pretty, but she was too serious for John’s taste. He preferred a bit more life in his women.
Who was he to question the trafficker’s tastes?
I’m a bit of a sucker when it comes to lady bears. They’re my one weakness. Call me a connoisseur.
John’s bear had never hung its head in such self-loathing. Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything.
And then again, if he could just give Hill what he wanted, he could get the man off his back for good. This weird little bear family seemed to be the ticket for settling the score.
Only they weren’t exactly bears. They were part human, and there were clearly lots of people on the resort who cared for them.
It didn’t matter. He needed to separate the Gleason family from their friends. It wouldn’t be easy so long as Connor Church was acting as Elaine’s satellite.
Maybe he needed to get rid of Connor.
John remembered the figures Hill had shown him, his debt in black and white. Hill wouldn’t leave him alone until he gave him what he wanted.
Connor was a superior specimen, come to think about it.
All John needed to do was deliver the Gleasons to Hill. Whatever Hill did afterward was none of his business. Once the deed was done, John could make himself scarce. He could go live with his cousin in the Yukon. Hill would forget all about him.
Would John forget? Probably not, but he couldn’t afford to worry about that now.
They were three bears from backwoods Ontario. Just three.
He could live with himself.
Hoping some good, old-fashioned hard work would banish his unease, he picked up his drink tray again and began to circulate.