“I demand to speak to your manager!”

“Please sir,” I say. “If you’ll let me finish, I can explain that—”

“Manager! Now!” the customer barks at me like a dog.

I mute the call and sigh deeply, rubbing my temples. Working customer service for a package delivery company might just be the world’s worst job. Well, that’s probably not true, but it’s a truly thankless job. All day long people call me to scream at me because the driver didn’t show up on time… and it’s my job to listen to them.

And get yelled at.

I don’t deliver the packages. Hell, I can’t even call the driver to ask him what the hell he’s doing. I’m a glorified punching bag.

But I grin and bear it — for Jake & Melissa. Jake is my boyfriend of the past five years. He’s in college, working towards a degree in engineering. With his workload he doesn’t really have time for a part-time job.

That’s why I dropped out of art school to become a full-time customer service rep. Emma, my sister, said I was crazy, but that’s easy for her to say. She moved to Australia to be with Brad, her husband she met on her exchange year.

They have a perfect life together. A house on the beach, a baby on the way, two gorgeous dogs… and me? I have a crappy apartment filled with pizza boxes, a boyfriend who doesn’t know how to clean up after himself, and a ‘best’ friend who is overstaying her welcome.

Yeah, Melissa has been crashing on my couch for three months straight now. Her parents kicked her out, and she needed a place to stay, so like a sap I offered her a place to stay… I thought it would be for a few days, while she found a new apartment. A week or two at most.

It’s been months.

It’s totally killed our sex life. I can’t relax with her in the other room. I’m afraid she’ll hear everything! I’m so frustrated I feel like I’m about to explode at times, but strangely enough, Jake doesn’t really seem to mind too much.

Every time I try to steer the conversation to her moving out, she throws a fit, and Jake defends her at every turn. I’m at the end of my rope though. Tonight, I’m telling her to move out…

But first, I have to deal with this seething customer.

Right when I’m about to tell him that my manager is too busy to talk to him, all the lights in the stuffy, humid office flicker and die out. A collective groan passes through the room as everyone’s monitors fade to black.

A power outage!

“Keep calm everyone,” my manager says. “I’ll get this sorted out!”

I dig my phone out of my bag and text Jake a good morning. He had a big test this morning, and he always get a bit moody when those come around. I don’t receive a reply.

After a few minutes my manager storms back into the office.

“Bad news, everyone. The power will be out for an hour, maybe more. Some bonehead cut the line outside while doing road work. Take an early lunch.”

Yes!

This is just what I needed. The universe is being kind to me today. I text Jake what he wants for lunch, but I still don’t get a reply. He must have dozed off.

I drive home and swing by a fast food joint. Tacos always cheer Jake up. The moment I open the door to our apartment, I hear it.

Jake’s familiar, low, throaty moan.

I’ve heard it enough times over the years to know exactly what that means. He’s playing with himself— Melissa must be out.

Even though it’s perfectly natural, I feel kinda left-out. After all, he hasn’t touched me in months, yet he can take care of himself? Then again, perhaps I haven’t done my best either…

Time to surprise him. It’ll have to be a quickie, because if I’m even a minute late my manager will chew me out, but a quickie is better than nothing. I strip down naked in the hallway, feeling giddy with anticipation. I can’t wait to feel him inside of me.

I tip-toe down the hall and open our bedroom door.

“Guess who…”

My voice halts in my throat when I see the most awful sight of my life. Jake’s pasty, white butt is going up and down… and underneath him, naked and writhing, is Melissa.

My world comes crashing down in an instant. A giant black hole forms in the pit of my stomach, and my blood runs cold.

How could I be so dumb?

“Oh my god!” Melissa screams.

Jake nearly jumps out of his skin, falling off the bed, and scrambling to his feet.

“W-what are you doing home?!” he stammers. “You’re not supposed to be home!”

I’ve never felt so humiliated before in my life — and to add insult to injury I’m butt naked as well.

Without saying a word I back out of the bedroom, get dressed and run to my car. I go through the motions like a robot, my emotions muted. I’m too confused, too dazed to give in to rage.

Jake doesn’t even come out to try and stop me.

How long has this been going on… right under my nose?! Is this why he hasn’t touched me in months? I feel so dumb. So stupid. So naive.

I pull back into work with tears streaming down my face. I want to throw up, cry, sleep and beat something up, all at the same time. I need a break. I need help. I need Emma.

“Where have you been?!” my manager asks when he bumps into me in the hall. “Power’s back! I swear, if I have to write you up one more time, you’re outta here. I’ve had it up to here with your tardy attitude, missy. I know this is your first real job, but pull yourself together, for Christ’s sake.”

That’s the straw that breaks the camel’s back. All the rage that was so muted when I encountered my best friend stealing my boyfriend now explodes in glorious fashion.

Every little thing I’ve always wanted to say to my boss, I say. I scream it in his face, poking my finger in his chest. By the time I’m done, his face has turned a ghastly white.

The whole office has gone silent. Everyone is looking at me, wide-eyed.

“Get out,” he mutters. “Get out!”

Fuck.

Not only have I just lost my boyfriend and best friend, but my job as well.

This day can’t get any worse.

I run back to my car and call Emma, but it goes directly to voicemail. Of course, it’s a completely different time zone in Australia — she’s probably asleep already.

My phone vibrates, but my stomach drops when I realize it’s just another email. I’m about to swipe it away when the headline catches my eye.

Are you looking for a romance out of this world?

Oh god yes. That’s exactly what I need. An exotic hunk who’ll mend my broken heart, who will feed me grapes and carry me into the sunset. A long-haired, broad-chested, gorgeous hunk of a man who’ll speak to me in a foreign tongue as he makes love to me, as he makes my toes curl, as he makes me forget years and years of mediocre sex…

I open the email. It’s from some place called the Celestial Mates Dating Agency. Never heard of ‘em, and I have no idea how they got my address, but I don’t have any energy left to care at this point. They promise me a romance that’ll sweep me off my feet, an adventure I will never forget.

Sounds good to me.

All I have to do is click the “Sign Me Up” button at the bottom of the email, according to them. My thumb hovers over it.

Should I?

The email is rather strange, but… oh well.

Let’s take a chance.