The Change
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The hours passed quickly and slowly all at once. They dragged because I wanted the sun to rise; they hurried because I wanted to see what Lero was going to do.
I didn't feel like speaking, and he hadn't tried to make me. I had retreated to the opposite corner from him, nestled up against the cold stone wall and the bars, on the side of the cell that had the window. I had avoided the moonlight once again when I had come over here, and I silently cursed at myself for doing it. Now I sat and tried to avoid looking at him, and mostly succeeded. Mostly.
The night was clear, and the moon was bright. The passing of time was impossible to measure, but Lero seemed to be listening for something, because in some way, he knew when we were safe. When I saw him stand, my heart thumped in my chest and my throat tightened. I swallowed the lump.
"What are you going to do?" I asked him, also standing, slowly and cautiously.
"Change." He stepped into the moonlight.
"Change...into a...?"
"Partially," he said. "Not all the way. Not in here. It would be, ah...dangerous." He looked somberly at me. "I'm sure I don't need to say this, but don't yell or scream or otherwise panic. I am not going to hurt you."
There was nothing else to say. There was nowhere to go. So I watched, my breath still, as interminable seconds passed with Lero standing in the moonlight. I was sure I was being lied to; that nothing was going to happen. But I was wrong.
Lero was looking right at me when his face began to change. It darkened, which looked so bizarre because the light of the moon was clear on his face, but I realized there was fur growing. Dark brown fur sprouted from his forehead, cheeks and chin. My mouth dropped open as I saw his face begin to bulge into a snout and his nose turn black. His teeth grew and sharpened, glinting at me for a long moment before disappearing behind the lips of what was now a snout. I saw his nails darken and thicken, tapering into claws, his fingers growing longer and stronger.
And then it stopped, and Lero spoke. He was different, completely different, but it was his voice, and those were his green eyes.
"This is the truth, Myra," he said, his muzzle moving. His muzzle, beneath his furry ears on top of his head, part of his black wolf's nose. He still stood on two legs, was still human-like in that regard, but it was beyond strange to see. I thought I might pass out. What did this mean? And if he was...this way, could I really be, too?
Before I could think on that, he was changing back. It happened in the same way as the initial change, but in reverse, but it took almost twice as long. One thing Lero told me later was that it was much harder to change back. Sometimes impossible.
I swallowed as his face reemerged, the one I was familiar with.
"I couldn't go any further and also be able to come back," he said. "But I'm sure that was enough." He took a step toward me, and I started. He stopped, holding up his hands. "Say what you need to. Ask me what you need to. Just be...quiet about it."
I blinked and looked down at the dirty floor, unable to watch those eyes anymore. Seeing him as a person made it feel like everything that had happened was fake. Like it couldn't change that quickly. But I wasn't sick or hurt or overtired, and I knew what I saw. Still, just because he was...afflicted, that didn't mean that I was the same as him.
I had to know, but I didn't know how to ask.
"How does..." I coughed, lowering my voice. "I didn't think...I mean, from what I'd heard, werewolves don't have a choice. Any control. The moon changes them and they have no say in the matter. So how..."
Lero was already shaking his head. "That's not wrong, but it's not right, either. Young werewolves, ones who haven't managed that part of themselves—for them it is true that the moon is in control. But not for me. I don't need the moonlight to change; I do it with my own will. The moon makes it easier."
"You say that," I mused, "but you also said you can't change back once you go too far. And that changing completely in here with me would be dangerous." I brought my eyes back up from the floor. "It doesn't seem like you're in control."
It was Lero who averted his gaze this time, almost guiltily. "I meant it when I said that I wouldn't hurt you."
"To me, it doesn't sound like you're able to make that promise."
"I'm still me when I change," Lero said, “but I'm something else, too. I have my mind, but I have instincts. My mind controls them, for the most part. I don't run savage; even if I were to take form in here with you, I wouldn't hurt you, because I don't want to. I know that, and I control that.
"But the part where I control my change disappears. I would be changed until the beast decided it was done, and that can take a long time. Days, sometimes."
I interrupted, "What makes you decide that you're done?"
He winced, perhaps at me directly referring to him as the beast. "It's not very clear-cut. The best way to describe it is...when I've reached my goal. But it's hard to say what that goal is when I'm in my form, at least for me."
"Great, so you can't even think straight."
"I—" he froze, and I swear I saw his ears twitch. "The night guard is making his rounds. He just started down the stairs."
"How can you hear—"
"He won't be back for a couple of hours, and by then it might be light out," Lero said quickly, glancing to the right, where the hallway led down the row of cells. "Myra, this is our best chance to make our escape, but you have to trust me. Do you?"
"No, I don't trust you," I said, which was mostly true. "But I don't want to be in here, either, so I'll work with you. Don't think I can't take care of myself, either," I added. "If you try anything on me..."
"That's not going to happen." His gaze went vacant as he began to plot, his eyes darting in tiny movements, connecting the pieces inside of his head.
I couldn't hold this question in, even when he had to think. "Lero, if I'm a...werewolf, how come the most that's ever happened to me is that tiny change in my nails?"
He blinked, breaking off from his inner thoughts. "You are not awoken. Not yet."
"Awoken," I muttered. "What, I'm too young?"
"It's not that," Lero said. "It's...we don't have a lot of time. It'll happen when it happens, but it's not going to happen right now, so we can't worry about it. He's almost here. We are going to get him to open the door, and then we are going to leave."
I bit back more questions about this awoken thing, and said, "How, exactly?"
"You're going to kill me."