Nadyah felt terrible about the way she’d been behaving that day. Adelina deserved better than her and her jealousy. She’d known when she’d been assigned a royal camerraleto things wouldn’t be simple. She’d known her feelings would grow for her pupil and that one day she would have to share them with another.

Nadyah knew she would have to let Adelina go no matter how much she’d fallen in love with her.

It was the curse and the gift of being a courtesan.

But she hadn’t anticipated just how much she would love the sweet princess who had turned into a gorgeous, savage wolf who could protect her own.

So few experienced love the way Nadyah did. So few even knew what love was and she was blessed to have a life filled with so much of it. Adelina would marry one day, and then Nadyah would have to go back to the House of Kismet. Part of her longed to return home and part of her knew she would be heartbroken to leave the palace.

Seeing Varan at the gates had been hard. Nadyah had forgiven him for his ugly accusation the night before, because he’d said those words in jealousy and fear. But they’d still stung.

It was why her kind never told outsiders about possibly being mated. It was a lot to consider and as the bond was only one-sided there was so much pressure on the one who was not a courtesan. They simply did not feel the same way, even when they loved their mate with their entire heart.

She’d spent most of the morning with Ian. They’d quietly eaten in his lab, and he let her simply sit on his couch without bothering her after she’d delivered the DNA samples. Ian allowed Nadyah to think while he set up the analysis, and then had asked if she minded if he shared the couch with her.

Ian had sprawled out and promptly fell asleep…Nadyah checked the floating timepiece in the corner – an hour and a half ago. He’d moved his head onto her lap at some point and she stroked his hair back when he muttered and thrashed in his sleep.

It was oddly intimate and she didn’t know how to feel about it, but Nadyah was glad she could help Ian sleep. The poor male looked emaciated and the purple smudges under his eyes seemed as though they may now be permanent.

P’draic had come down at some point and left a tray of food and tea. He’d raised his brows in question and she’d shrugged. Neither had spoken. The silence gave Nadyah the space she needed to breathe, and to think.

Going from full-time courtesan to a princess’s lady-in-waiting had been more of a shock than she’d anticipated. It wasn’t only the change in position; it was the time spent doing it. It had been weeks now and she almost felt…trapped. There was no more regular, everyday sex. The few times with Adelina had been wonderful, but Nadyah was used to a full schedule.

It put her on edge and she sympathized with Adelina even more so now.

The edginess had made her seek out relief with Stefano after they’d returned from the Ladrole. The thoughts she’d had of him with Adelina had made her ravenous, but her princess was in no place mentally to be taken to bed.

Thankfully Jael had all the visitors scanned as they arrived, as she always did with potential new clients. So when Nadyah had received the list of clients and their mates and her name wasn’t anywhere on there – Nadyah had utterly ravaged the male and then snuck back to her rooms while Adelina slept. She’d felt ashamed, almost as though she’d betrayed her princess. This strange feeling must be what normal citizens felt when they cheated on their monogamous partner.

She wanted to tell Adelina, but knew it would hurt her so she’d kept it to herself. Now that she was sated she felt more clear-minded – and guilty. From the look on the princess’s face that morning she thought Nadyah’s strangeness was due to the situation with Varan. She didn’t know how to explain it was because she felt guilty over Stefano.

Her simulcast chimed. Adelina would be bringing Varan down soon per the princess’s message and Nadyah hoped Ian had the results by then. Should she let him sleep? The prince looked so vulnerable and trusting all sprawled out over her and the couch.

When Varan had arrived at the palace gates with the DNA and the diamond obviously in his pocket, Nadyah had felt a strange sense of relief. Varan was strong and he didn’t always play by the rules which made him invaluable, especially with Raena trying to see how much of a Wolf Adelina really was.

Nadyah prayed to Amora the council meeting had gone smoothly.

It was strange how isolated the labs were. Nadyah knew absolutely nothing about the council meeting while in the bubble of Ian’s sacred space. There were no recorders in Ian’s lab. The doors were sealed against most in the palace. Only a handful of people were allowed access. There was no livestream broadcasting anywhere. It was rather peaceful and Nadyah could see why Ian had chosen to hide down there.

She stroked his hair back, hoping to wake him gently. Nadyah didn’t know why, but she didn’t think he’d like anyone to walk in on him so unprepared. “Ian,” she murmured quietly, hoping not to scare him. “Ian, it’s time to wake.”

He muttered some dream nonsense. Nadyah tapped his nose and said his name again.

Those gorgeous Draga eyes opened slowly, blinking. Ian looked confused at first, and then he focused on her. He didn’t rush to get off of her as she thought he might but stretched and then rolled into a sitting position. “Sorry about that,” he muttered, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

She shook her head. “I simply thought you would like time to get ready before your sister comes down with Varan.”

Ian nodded. His golden hair was almost the same color as hers she noticed. The prince leaned his elbows on his knees and groaned, raking his fingers through his hair. “You let me sleep for too long,” he accused.

Nadyah snorted. “I didn’t realize I was to be responsible for your nap, dear prince.”

Ian glared at her, but there was a twinkle in his eyes. His humor was so subtle, so quiet most would miss it. “Would you like to look at the results before they arrive?”

A tingle of nerves ran down her spine. Nadyah nodded. She would like to gather her thoughts before she had to confront Varan. Whatever the answer, his reaction would be difficult to watch. If relief crossed his face when he found out he wasn’t, or horror if he was her mate; it might break her.

“I took the liberty of scanning two others’ DNA as well,” Ian said casually as though it wasn’t an issue.

“What?” she snapped. Nadyah wasn’t prepared to even think about the possibility of someone else being her mate.

Ian shrugged. “It would make sense to check as many options as possible,” he stated. “That way you know who is and isn’t. It would be helpful in the future, wouldn’t it?” Ian asked with a frown, suddenly realizing she was glaring at him.

“I suppose. Whose DNA did you add to the analysis?” she gritted out.

“Prince Nash’s as well as my own.”

Nadyah didn’t know what to say or do. Oh Goddess, what if she was Nash’s mate? “Get it over with.”

Ian scanned his data reports and then read them off from the top. “Roxy is a negative, Nash is a negative, Varan is a negative, and—” he stopped midsentence and his jaw dropped. Ian set his shreve down and looked at her.

Nadyah could feel the blood drain from her face and there was a strange buzzing in her head. Ian looked concerned and poured a glass of water. His hands shook when he handed it to her.

The cold water didn’t help but she drank it to the very last drop anyway. “And?” Nadyah demanded.

“It looks like you are my mate.” The way Ian said it…

“Don’t you mean you are my mate?”

The prince stared at her. “Yes and no.”

Nadyah had to set the glass down. “I don’t understand.”

“I’m sure you are aware that I am a half-courtesan.”

That strange buzzing became a roar.

Ian licked his lips nervously. “For efficiency’s sake I’ve been scanning my own DNA along with yours to every sample we’ve acquired. It seemed the smart thing to do. Since finding out P’draic is not my mate – I’ve been curious.”

Nadyah pressed a hand to her forehead. This was too much. “So I am your mate, but are you mine?”

Ian nodded again.

Holy gods, was that even possible? Had it ever occurred before? Most courtesans didn’t mate with one of their own. The genetics didn’t quite fit, but it seemed a half-breed changed things. There had to be something in the library, there had to be records.

Nadyah groaned and put her head between her knees.

Jael, would she find out? Would she want the two of them to breed? Their children would be a strange Draga-Courtesan mix with three-quarters courtesan DNA. What would that do to the children? Or would they end up like Adelina?

“I am sorry if the results are disappointing,” Ian said quietly.

Tears pricked her eyes as that shame swam up to drown her. The very same reaction she’d feared from Varan was the one she’d given to Ian. Nadyah sat up and wiped away her tears. “No, Ian…it’s not that at all. I simply…” The tears kept streaming down her cheeks as the consequences of the results hit her all at once.

Varan was not her mate. Irrefutable evidence she had been enamored with a male who wasn’t her mate. The stupid courtesan genetics made her think she was in love. The powerful attraction to the Prince of Thieves and her love for Adelina was real. But it didn’t matter. Her genetics had chosen the match for her.

“You wonder if you could love me the same way you love my sister,” Ian finished for her.

All Nadyah could do was nod. “I’m so sorry, Ian.” Her hands fluttered, not sure how to move or act. She pressed them to her face to block out the world. “I’m so sorry.”

The couch dipped when he sat. Ian didn’t touch her; he just sat next to her. His shoulder gave off enough warmth she leaned into him. They’d become friends over the last few weeks. At least there was that, but the complications…

“What about P’draic?” Nadyah asked. Ian loved him, she knew he did. “What are you going to do?”

Ian sighed. He was far less emotional than most people she knew, especially for someone who was part courtesan, but Nadyah was just starting to realize it wasn’t that he didn’t have emotions – or deep ones. Ian simply kept them separate from everything else, hiding them from public view. He didn’t allow them to affect his decisions.

“I don’t know. What do you want me to do?”

It was the last thing she’d expected him to say, but Nadyah supposed it made sense. She wiped the last of her tears from her face and turned to Ian. She openly studied the lines of his face, his jaw, the differences in his purple eyes from Adelina’s, and the way he held himself. Then she looked around his lab, the place where he spent most of his time. Ian was dedicated, he was honest, he was kind…Amora could have chosen a much worse mate, she supposed.

“As long as we don’t have sex we will never be mated,” Nadyah said. It was their one saving grace. “If you want to stay with P’draic, that’s entirely up to you. I still have cycles left on my contract with Jael among other things.”

Ian nodded and then took out his shreve.

“Are you making notes?” she asked.

He nodded again. “It would make sense to have a file of what either of us would need before such a commitment.”

Nadyah grabbed his hand and stopped his furious tapping when her heart leapt into her throat with panic. “What do you mean?”

Ian searched her face, open and honest in his assessment of her. “I don’t know you very well Nadyah, but our people live long lives. I’m not going to give up a chance to have a mate, but I do think putting a plan into place so we can both become comfortable with the relationship would be a logical idea.”

It was so ridiculous she wanted to laugh. “There is nothing logical about being mated.”

“No, but I’ve read about mates. My mother has told me what that kind of joy and love feels like. I want that in my life one day, but I’m willing to wait for the right moment.”

It was so absurd, but oddly…romantic. “All right,” she said slowly. Her emotions were as scattered as the stars, but there was something rather soothing about Ian’s straightforward approach to situations. “What do you want to write in there?”

Ian frowned as he considered. “How long your contract with the House of Kismet is and what the cost to eradicate it would be, would you be able to terminate your contract with the Spymaster’s Guild the same way, would you want to end these contracts early or finish them out, also…”

“Wow,” she said, blinking at the barrage of questions. “You were far more prepared to ask than I thought you would be.”

Those purple eyes of his mesmerized while he simply looked at her.

“Wait, you know about the Spymaster’s Guild?” Nadyah demanded.

Ian nodded. “Of course, Elara tells me just about everything. Well, except that Adelina is more than my half-sister, but I don’t blame her for that.” He tapped his shreve. “Would you want to stay at the House of Kismet for a while?”

Nadyah felt like someone could knock her over with a feather. “Would that bother you if I did?”

Ian shook his head. “I would simply like a timeline to work with so I could prepare, perhaps find a home in the first-circle if you would prefer that to living in the palace.”

That laughter finally bubbled to the surface and Nadyah couldn’t help it, no matter how rude it was. She laughed herself sick. It was all too much to take in and Ian was being so strangely sweet. Then the tears of laughter turned into tears of grief and she couldn’t stop from sobbing as she felt everything she’d thought she’d known crash around her.

Varan wasn’t her mate. He was just some incredibly gorgeous male she’d had a crush on for cycles, and here was this male next to her who didn’t even know her, and he wanted her opinion on where to live, and when she thought she might be done servicing everyone in Stella di Draga and Draga Terra.

Those arms of his wrapped around her and Ian said nothing as he comforted her. He was stronger than he looked; pulling her onto his lap so he could shield her from the room, from the world in the small cocoon of his arms.

She’d seen him do it once with Adelina and the reminder made her cry even harder.

“Tell me what’s wrong,” he whispered. “Tell me what I can do to help.”

Nadyah rested her head on his shoulder. “I feel so stupid,” she said, her voice cracking. “All this time I’ve loved people and thought perhaps one of them would be my mate because of the way I felt. Now here I am with my actual mate, and I haven’t once tried to seduce you.” She laughed. It was an ugly sound with all the tears and mucus.

Ian handed her his handkerchief, but didn’t say anything as he waited for her to finish.

Nadyah wiped her face and sniffled, gathering herself once more. “Not that I would have seduced you because you’re so tender with P’draic and you love him. The two of you have been together for cycles and I’d never try to ruin that. I just feel so terrible for you Ian; it’s not fair you’re mated to the biggest whore in the palace who happens to love your sister, when you are also in love with another.”

The prince stroked her hair gently. “You are not a whore, Nadyah, no matter what anyone says. Your job is just as important as any other.”

Those words settled some raw part of her still hurting from the night before. She sniffled one last time and looked up into those eyes she’d fallen in love with, if perhaps on someone else. “I’m so sorry I’m your mate, Ian. I’m such a mess.”

He didn’t look away from her. Ian simply studied her, and it made Nadyah feel vulnerable. Ian’s attention was so focused and unwavering. “We all have our own problems,” he said gently. “Whatever you need from me I will give, whether it’s time, space, or ending my relationship with P’draic.”

The statement made her heart break. “But I don’t want you to lose the one you love because of me,” she whispered. “We never have to become mated. You can stay with him forever if you like.”

Suddenly, his arms around her tightened. “No,” he said. “I’m not losing you.”

It was strange to hear Ian say something so possessive. “You don’t love me,” Nadyah reminded him.

“Love doesn’t just happen the first time you lay your eyes on someone, Nadyah. Love has to grow, has to cultivate. Attraction and lust yes, those can be immediate. The mate bond would take care of anything else.” Ian brushed a kiss across her cheek and then set her down.

When he stood and ran a hand through his hair, Nadyah wondered how he was so sweet and gentle after spending his life in the palace. Elara had done an excellent job raising him. “I’m not sure about the future Ian, but I know I cannot have a relationship with you yet. We are leaving for the Hai galaxy; I owe Jael too much gold for you – for anyone to pay and I have to finish Adelina’s camerraleto.”

Ian didn’t speak as he started fixing some tea from the tray P’draic brought. He froze when he noticed it hadn’t been there before. Then he continued as if nothing had changed, but his shoulders drooped ever so slightly and Nadyah felt so much guilt it made her sick.

“How much do you owe?” he asked.

Nadyah tensed. It was taboo to speak of her debt to the House, but it wasn’t unusual for a mate to pay it off. She told him the number, knowing it was too much for any rational person to consider, prince or no.

He turned around with two cups of tea and sat back on the couch. “Here is what I suggest. Take this trip to see the Drakesthai and come back in one piece,” he gritted out. “Then finish Lina’s camerraleto. By that time, decide if you want to go back to the House of Kismet for as long as you like, or if you’d rather stay here. With me.”

Ian sipped his tea and watched her closely. Nadyah didn’t know what to do or say, she didn’t know if her feelings toward Adelina would change by then, if the mate bond would truly ease her desire and lust until it was only for her mate.

“We still won’t know each other well,” she stated.

“Then talk with me, send me messages, and I will do the same. If you like, we can spend time alone together as we would in a courtship, but with no pressure to be physical. It would only be to learn about one another.” Ian set down his cup of tea. “And I will end the relationship with P’draic today. Things have been…strained. It’s for the best no matter how I feel, because I cannot make him my mate.”

And that was it, wasn’t it? Nadyah set her cup down as she considered it. No matter how much she loved Varan and no matter how much she loved Adelina, neither were her mate. The love of a mate, even the prospect of that love made everything else pale in comparison.

Those swirling emotions inside her ebbed and Nadyah looked to Ian in surprise. No wonder he was so easygoing. Things were so much simpler when the answers were logical. It was almost easy to choose when put so clearly.

“All right, Ian, but only on one condition.”

It was the first time all day she’d seen him smile and Nadyah felt a tiny reaction deep inside, uncurl like a flower after winter.

“What is the condition?” he asked.

Nadyah checked her simulcast. Adelina was moments away. “I will talk with you, send messages while on this trip, and we can spend time together as friends until the camerraleto is over and I have decided what to do, but I don’t want to tell anyone, especially Elara or Jael that we are each other’s mates. No one Ian, not even Adelina. I will simply tell Varan he is not my mate and there is no reason for him to worry.”

Ian hesitated at the mention of his mother, but he was a smart male. “Agreed.”

“One last thing,” she said, hearing footsteps in the labs outside. “There will be no monogamy before the bond is activated. I simply cannot do that, it would be physically impossible.”

Ian grabbed her arm in the style of warriors in accord. “I can work with that.” Then he pulled her forward and stole a kiss.