I hated my stupid head.

I wanted to be pissed off at Niko. I should be, right? He wasn’t treating me the proper respect and deference due to a priestess! But for some stupid reason I was more excited to spend the night with him than anyone else. And I didn’t even like putting cocks in my mouth. I was hoping I could put the whole ‘taking the seed of the shadow world’ thing off and have something more like my first night with Sir Forrest.

Maybe even that was too much.

When I saw Sir Forrest walk in the door of our new quarters, my heart sang. It felt like coming home, to see his vaguely scowling face come in the door. Like, of all my guardians, somehow he was the one that had my heart.

But I was also more than just a heart.

They came in together, my three guardians and Rin included, and sat around the table where I had been trying to read (Niko had other books!) and mostly just getting distracted. Niko’s quarters consisted of five spacious rooms on the top floor of the building—the only rooms in the building with windows you could actually see out of. Thank goodness. From here, I could see the ships in the harbor and the ocean shining in the afternoon light. Inside, the room was furnished with the same sort of swank as downstairs. Boldly colored paintings in heavy gold frames, huge plush sofas with gold feet shaped like lion paws, vases brimming with flowers—oh, and a big canopy bed with heavy velvet curtains for privacy. Maybe too much privacy.

Forrest sat down in a chair with a heaviness to him like he was about to plan a battle. Gilbert sat more on the edge and laced his fingers on the table. Rin was beside him, relaxed in comparison. Niko stayed standing, leaning against a nearby pillar with his arms crossed.

“So, here we are,” Forrest said. “Three guardians. Have you gotten any sense of the fourth one yet, Phoebe?”

“No. Not really,” I said, trying not to feel like a failure. “He’s not in the city. But I can’t tell what direction to go. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t feel bad,” Forrest said. “I think someone is trying to thwart us. It could be that the Black Army has gotten to him before us, and they’re concealing him from you. The question is, what do we do? If he’s already been captured, that means they probably know of your existence. If we attempt to save him, we might all be killed.”

“If we don’t save him, will we ever be strong enough to fight back against the entire empire?” Gilbert asked.

“He might be hurt and in danger,” I said.

“Yes…but I pledged to protect Phoebe at all costs,” Forrest said. “There is one thing that would almost certainly seal her death, and that would be revealing her existence and location to the empire. I think we’ve been very lucky to make it this far without further incident, and how far should we press our luck?”

“It’ll be hard enough to get into the temple,” Niko said. “And then, to make it all the way to the gate, past Forts Peri and Plan.”

“Well,” Rin said solemnly. “You know my wishes. If you go to the gate, I must stay here and try to rescue Himika on my own.”

Gilbert didn’t say anything at first. I knew he wanted to stay with Rin. “Phoebe should have the final say.”

“Phoebe isn’t always the most reliable gauge of danger,” Forrest said. “I’ll protect her from herself if I must.”

“Wait a minute, this is my very survival and the fate of the whole continent we’re talking about,” I said. “I’m not going to take a decision like that lightly.”

“Then, tell us what you think,” Forrest said.

“Um…”

Actually, I really didn’t want to make the decision at all. I just wanted to be taken seriously. I guess the problem with being taken seriously is that you have to do things. Damnit.

Niko broke the silence, scattering the dice on the table. “Ten…” he said. “I think we should exercise some patience.”

Sir Forrest looked up at him. “You’re telling me we should decide this based on a dice roll?”

“I could try and send a message to my fortune teller.”

“Oh, lord.” Forrest rubbed the bridge of his nose.

“I have my ear to the ground in this city,” Niko said, sweeping the dice up again. “I suggest a compromise. I’ll put out immediate inquiries. While we wait for the answer, I’ll also find out when we could sneak into the Temple of Stones—surely some of the guards are either sympathetic or open to bribery. If we haven’t gotten word of any strange prisoners the Empire might have picked up lately, we’ll move on.”

“I suppose we can try it your way,” Forrest said. “But you’d damn sure better be careful. I have a contact to Elder Dion. I’m going to go out and deliver her a message. Phoebe, come with me and I’ll get you that knife.”

I jumped out of my seat, glad to have gotten all this out of the way. “Yesss!”

Niko strolled out of the discussion, pouring himself another drink at a bar against the wall, and Gilbert was looking at Rin like he already missed him. “Stay safe,” he told us. So I guess no one minded if it was just me and Forrest? Cool.

“Should I change back into my boring clothes?” I asked him.

“No…leave the dress on. It suits the capital.”

It was a lot easier getting out of Niko’s place than getting in. The guards were all friendly to us now, and I didn’t even see the guy who threatened Gilbert earlier. Forrest was giving all the fancy furnishings the side-eye.

“I don’t know about this Niko guy,” he said. “Something about him…”

“Well, it’s probably the fact that he’s a smuggler,” I said, all casual. “Everything just has that shady vibe, you know.”

I really wanted to tell Forrest.

Niko almost changed into something else.

Niko scares me a little bit.

I think…Niko’s a monster.

But I promised I wouldn’t say anything, and Niko knew that Gilbert was a thief and Gilbert didn’t want Rin to know that, and it was all kind of a mess. And guardians couldn’t hurt me. That was what the book said. So I kept my mouth shut.

“You were all right alone with him?” he asked, as we walked down a narrow lane, making our way out of the rough neighborhood. Tall, skinny houses with multiple apartments were wedged together tight. We faced the back of them from here. Laundry was strung between them, over our heads. I could hear some screaming babies but I think most people were working. In the cities, poor kids worked as soon as they could rather than going to school.

“I was totally fine.”

“Has he…have you touched?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” I elbowed Forrest. “You’ve got to stop being so jealous. You want me to be a good priestess, don’t you?”

“No,” he said, with a faint laugh. Then he thrust his hands in his pockets. “I want to take you somewhere tonight.”

“Ooh…like a date?” That sounded awesome, actually. If I had to be with four men, I should get four times the dates, right? So far it had been zero dates. It definitely didn’t count as a date if it involved sleeping on the ground, eating porridge, or fighting something.

He nodded a little. “Indulge me, will you? I do know what my duties are. And yours. And I do want you to be a good priestess. But—my great-grandmother lives in this city, and I wondered if, just for tonight, you would be my wife? She’s an old lady. I’m afraid all of this would only upset her, and let’s face it, she won’t be around much longer anyway.”

“I’m impressed you still have a living great-grandmother,” I said.

“My family lives a long time, if we don’t get ourselves killed.”

“I didn’t think you grew up in Capamere.”

“I didn’t. The family was split. Her first son stayed here and was killed in the army, while her second son—my grandfather—went south to Bastel to open a restaurant. For obvious reasons, I had an affinity for the other part of the family, because they’re the military branch. So when I came to Capamere, I found my great-grandmother. She also works in a restaurant, and that’s where I’m taking you tonight.”

“Your family works in restaurants and your bean soup just tastes like…beans?”

He shrugged. “I told you, I took after my great-uncle… And I don’t need to learn now. You’ve certainly been stuffing enough greens into everything I make, and then there’s Gilbert with his sweated onions…”

“Not mere greens. Herbs! They’ll keep you strong.” Not that he needed it. He was already so strong, the strongest of all my guardians. Niko might have been more my type on the surface, but there was a dark, rugged beauty to Forrest and I truly believed he would die for me without a moment’s hesitation. I didn’t feel that way about the other two, at least, not yet. I looked at him shyly, as we walked along together. We’d been alone together often enough before, but it felt different now.

A second later, he put his hand around mine. Emboldened, I walked closer to him, and then I briefly put my head against his arm.

“Phoebe…”

He stopped and pulled me against him, into a warm embrace. He clutched me so tight, I could feel how much I meant to him. He kissed my forehead, which was certainly easier for him to reach, and I lifted myself on my tiptoes to meet his mouth. Oh, I missed the taste of him. It was like nothing else. I slid my palm and fingers along the stubble that was starting to verge toward an actual beard, roughly tickling my tender skin.

When we pulled back, I realized I had a goofy smile on my face. I wiped it off, because he wasn’t smiling. I mean, who am I kidding, Forrest never smiled for real. He always looked at me like he was tortured by our relationship and maybe like he could see every horrible thing that might happen in the future.

Really romantic, I know. But I sort of felt like he was taking on that burden so I didn’t have to.

He took my hand again and we kept walking, still staying far from the center of town and off the main streets. He stopped in front of a nondescript shoe repair shop and knocked on the worn wooden door. There was a little hinged door at the bottom with a sign that said “Shoe Drop Off”.

Someone knocked back in a pattern. Knock-knock-knock…knock-knock…knock.

Sir Forrest opened the hinged door and dropped a letter in. He took my hand again, moving on.

“That’s for Elder Dion?” I asked.

“Shh.”

“Sorry. I mean, the street is totally empty.”

“You can never be too careful. Yes, I’m just letting him know we’ve arrived. With luck, he’ll send a message back to Niko’s. I’m curious to know his opinion on how we should proceed.”

“I don’t want to think about that tonight,” I said. My heart rate shot up whenever I thought about giving up on the fourth guardian and trying to sneak into the Palace of Stones. As if that wasn’t scary enough, if we succeeded, that meant we had to turn around and head back the way we’d came, and then head deep into the mountain caves where the gate was. Past the forts, past hoards of monsters…

I realized I was hyperventilating.

“It’s all right,” Forrest said. “We’re getting stronger every day.”

“Well, I haven’t seen anyone cast spells that can fell armies yet like in the book. Not even close.”

“We don’t have a sorcerer,” Sir Forrest said. “Then again, I don’t know what Niko does…” He shrugged. “You’re right. We won’t think about it tonight.”

We walked for another couple of blocks down a street lined with little markets and restaurants. They weren’t anything too fancy, but the neighborhood seemed to be hopping with workers coming home from day shifts, getting dinner or buying produce. Lots of young couples were strolling around holding hands, just like me and Forrest.

Forrest drew me toward the door of a little cave of a restaurant called “Ma’s Homemade Noodles”.

“No way. Noodles? Noodles are probably my favorite food. My mom never makes noodles. She says they’re too much work. In fact, the first time I had noodles—”

He gave me a look that said, Please don’t say the word ‘noodles’ this many times.

Okay. I got it. His family probably wasn’t that into noodles if they’d been making them for the whole neighborhood for a hundred years or something.

As soon as he opened the door, some lady serving plates of (starchy, silky, delicious) noodles looked up. “Forrest! Forrest is home!”

I heard someone drop what sounded like a stack of metal trays in the back, and in another moment we were surrounded by one skinny flour-dusted guy and like five women of various ages who all wanted to hug Forrest. “Why are you here?” “Finally tired of village life?” “C’mere, big guy.”

“Where’s Gran?” he asked, in an urgent tone.

“Oh, Gran’s resting. She’s a tough old girl, but…she’s getting too old to work in the restaurant. She’s…forgetting things a lot. She’ll want to see you, but—just be prepared. I’ll get her down here.”

“I can go to her. Is she in bed?”

“No, no, you wait there and let us dote on you. She can still walk just fine and it’s good for her to keep moving.”

Some woman offered me a vigorous handshake I hadn’t exactly prepared for. “Hello, sweetie! And who’s this? You going to introduce us?”

He put an arm around me. “This is my wife, Phoebe. I think she’s really looking forward to tasting some noodles…”

I almost melted in the floor. For a minute I had a flash of what my life could have been like. I knew Forrest had only come Istim because I was the priestess, but if only I had met him while I was a Strawberry Girl…if our paths had crossed in the capital…and we had just been a normal girl and a normal guy. Maybe he wouldn’t look so tormented. Maybe we would have stayed here. I wouldn’t mind working in a restaurant. I could have saved up and sent for Mom…

I had a big lump in my throat all of a sudden.

“You’ve come to the right place, Phoebe, haven’t ya? Sit down anywhere!”

The other woman came back, holding the hand of a stooped old woman as they came down the stairs. Her white hair was in a thin braid and she wore a faded floral print dress and slippers. Her face was lined in wrinkles, but her eyes shone when she saw Forrest.

“Roddy?” she asked. “You came home?”

“No, Gran, this is Forrest.”

Forrest swallowed, letting go of my hand. He met his great-grandmother at the stairwell. “Gran, I’ve come back from Istim. I wanted you to meet my wife. Phoebe.”

“Weren’t you with that lovely redhead? You were so devoted to her.”

“That was Roderick,” the other woman said gently. She looked at Forrest with apology. “She’s getting a little confused.”

“Where is Roddy?” Gran asked, insistent.

“He’s dead, Gran, remember? He…was killed in a battle.”

Gran looked distressed, pointing at Forrest. “He looks just like my Roddy.”

“This is Geoff’s son. Forrest. He always did remind you of Uncle Roderick. Remember how he used to run around with a wooden sword and battle the chairs? He became a soldier too, in the Black Army.”

Gran still looked like she didn’t understand, but she seemed resigned to her confusion now. She took Forrest’s hand and patted it. “You’re very handsome like my Roddy. Your wife is very pretty.”

“Thank you…Gran, I’m—I’m sorry I was away for so long.”

“It’s all right, dear.” She gave him a slightly blank yet pained smile, and then looked at the other woman. “I’m very tired,” she said softly.

“Of course. I’ll take you back upstairs. Forrest, have a seat anywhere, I know your Aunt Catherine is whipping up something really good.”

He nodded, taking a last glance at his great-grandmother as she took the stairs. “I was away too long… The letters are so slow between here and Istim, I shouldn’t have even come.”

“Of course you should,” I said. “I bet, deep down, a part of her knows. And I get to meet your family. It’s really nice here. And it smells amazing.” I squeezed his hand. “Noodles.”

He cracked a faint smile and pulled out a chair for me. “Last time I saw her,” he said, sitting down across from me, “she was fine. Sharp as a tack.”

“Well, how old is she?”

“…ninety-eight. But I know last year she was still making her little meatballs.” He added, “I should’ve just let her think I was Roderick.”

“If you hadn’t come to Istim for my sake, would you have stayed in the capital?”

“Assuming I was still leaving the army, because of what I’d learned there, it would’ve been Bastel, probably. With my parents and siblings and their restaurant.” He shrugged. “I would have hated it, though. I’ve got wanderlust, or…worse. Bloodlust, maybe.” He gestured to a portrait on the wall of the dimly lit room, a painting of a man in armor who looked just like Forrest…at least, Forrest as rendered by a hobbyist painter with a head too big for his body. “Uncle Roderick had it, and I have it, and the rest of them are content with this.”

“I can see why,” I said, looking around at all the families slurping up noodles. “But I’m glad you’re you.”

Pretty soon, the noodles started rolling out. They were freshly cut and tossed in a light sauce with mushrooms and parsley—heavenly.

“It’s a cheap date,” Forrest said. “Even if I had to pay for it, although I don’t…”

“But it’s the best! The only thing that would make me happier than a big bowl of noodles would be a big piece of chocolate cake.”

“We just might have some of that too,” said the nearest server, who I think was Cousin Emma. Or Cousin—you know, never mind, I had no idea of anyone’s name, but they were very nice. Different people kept sitting down to chat with us a moment before they had to spring back up again and get to work. I signed Cousin Arlen’s Strawberry Girls poster for him even though it was for the wrong tour. Literally all the women asked if I was pregnant yet.

“Do we have to leave? If I hold onto the leg of the table, will you drag me out? You wouldn’t want to make a scene, would you?” I asked, just before I licked my plate clean of sauce.

“They would adopt you in a second,” he said. “They would dote on our babies…”

“Roddy!”

Forrest turned as Gran came back down the stairs, trying to break away from the girl who was helping her down.

“Angie, what are you doing, Gran needs to rest!” Aunt Catherine told the girl.

“It wasn’t me!” Angie protested. “She pounded on my door! She made me pry up floorboards. She said she just remembered that she hid something for Uncle Roderick or whatever.”

“Roddy, I forgot,” Gran said. “You told me to keep this until you came back.” She handed Forrest a little rectangular wooden box.

Forrest cracked it open, seeing a necklace. “This must’ve been for his girlfriend. I can’t take this. Gran, I’m—”

“You might as well take it and give it to Phoebe,” Aunt Catherine told him. “No one else has a lovely new bride.”

“You could use the money,” Forrest said, refusing to take it.

“We aren’t going to pawn off something that belonged to Uncle Roderick!”

“It’s for Margaret,” Gran said. “Very important.”

“Okay, Gran, he’ll make sure Margaret gets it. C’mon. Let’s get you back upstairs.” She pushed the box into Forrest’s hands.

When we finally left after a ton of prolonged goodbyes, and we were almost back at Niko’s place, Forrest opened the box. “It’s gold,” he said. “Roderick must’ve spent some pay on it. Might as well see what it looks like on. It’ll go with your dress.”

“I’d love to wear it,” I said. “Kind of like an heirloom wedding ring.”

“Yes.” He looked pleased, lifting the necklace out of the box. It had a gold pendant inset with tiny stones and smaller stones surrounding it. When he took it out of the box and lifted it to my neck, he paused.

“This is a strange necklace,” he said. “It wants to fall wide around your neck, like…it’s not supposed to go there.”

“Let me see…”

He was still squinting at it. “Phoebe—look at the pendant. Does that look like my sigil to you?”

I held up the pendant. There was a design etched into the gold, surrounded by the tiny stones. “It does. And you know…the priestess is wearing jewelry in the book. Was your great-uncle a guardian?”

He stopped dead and looked back the way we came. “I need to go back there. I need to try and ask her about this. If my uncle was a guardian, I have to see if she remembers anything else.”

“Tomorrow morning,” I said. “It’s getting late now.”

“I should have opened the box immediately.” He moved the necklace to my waist. The pendant seemed to fall right over the sigil. “I think that’s what it is,” he said. “This is supposed to go around your hips.” He put it back in the box. “I’ll put it on later.”

“Hey, I think…Niko…expects to spend tonight with me. Since we just found him. Please don’t be weird about it.” I couldn’t quite admit to Forrest that I was intrigued to spend the night with him too. I feared losing Forrest’s respect.

“I won’t be ‘weird’,” he said stiffly. “I understand now that we all must draw from your power. Although I don’t know what he’ll do with it. He’s clearly a money man. What weapon can he use? Dice?”

“You’re being a little weird right now.”

“And you’re all right with him?”

“Do I have a choice?” I said, before realizing that was the wrong answer.

Forrest’s brows drew down.

“I mean—it’s fine,” I said hastily. “I mean—there’s something attractive about Niko.” Nope, I still wasn’t making things better. “It’s just hard getting used to each new person, right, because you’re all so different.”

“If he hurts you, I would protect you from him too,” he said. “Maybe guardians can’t hurt you physically, but they could hurt you in other ways.”

“Yeah…I’ll be okay,” I said. Really, Forrest was as likely to hurt me in other ways as anyone. “I’m still waiting on that knife, by the way.”