"This resort is absolutely AMAZING!" I cheered.
"I agree," Liam replied with a smile. We walked into our suite, both of us finally dry after a morning of swimming and an afternoon of sunbathing and business planning.
Liam was the ultimate sneaky boss, bringing me to a seven star, yes SEVEN star, resort for ‘work.’ He explained how proud he was of all my hard work and had scheduled for us to enjoy the private resort which was on its own damn island. We had it all to ourselves, because he had booked it for the entire weekend.
I was absolutely stunned when I found out. Liam's driver, Nicholas, had wished us an awesome trip on the private island, which had piqued my curiosity. Liam was unable to keep it secret any longer and explained his mischievous plans.
What a generous gift, to reserve the weekend away for the two of us. We still made sure to get some work done, though. It wasn't a requirement, but a choice, and I was really enjoying the ability to decide what I really wanted to do.
"Meow."
"Pix, no destroying of my socks," I reminded the cat who'd somehow snuck into my luggage. I don't know what possessed him or how he got through airport security, but he was with us, enjoying playing with my rolled up socks, even though we'd bought him a few toys after discovering he'd joined us.
"Sneaky cat." Liam looked amused as he walked over to the counter to put his sunglasses down. He looked amazing in his swimming trunks as he unintentionally showed off his new tan. We'd both fallen asleep at the beach but thankfully woke up before we got some major sunburn. Pix decided to help by continuously patting Liam's face until he woke up. Liam had failed at waking me up, so he simply scooped me up and took me back inside. I really need to work on not being such a deep sleeper.
"Thanks to him, we didn't become red lobsters under the blazing sun." I giggled.
"True, but his friend is all alone in NYC," Liam reminded me.
I sighed. "True. Maybe I should call and check on him?" I suggested. Liam was referring to Alexander, who was working all weekend because there was a huge event happening in the city and it would have been a waste to not take advantage of it.
Now that Pix was here though, I realized Alexander would be all alone at the bar where he'd most likely sleep for the sake of not having to travel back and forth.
"I'll call him," I announced, walking over to our bed and grabbing my phone on the nightstand. I sat on the bed, glad my bikini was dry, and quickly began checking the glaring notifications of my email.
"Don't get distracted," Liam reminded.
I glanced up to see his playful grin. "I'm not going to get distracted," I pointed out.
"You say that now, but you'll get lost in your emails and forget to call Alexander like you did yesterday."
I bit my bottom and looked away. "That was an accident," I mumbled, returning my eyes to the phone in my hand.
"I know,” he replied with a chuckle, walking over to the bed. "I'm going to go take a swim in the steamy pool."
The steamy pool was his term for the oversized hot tub that was outside, surrounded by fresh flowers. I looked up to see him lean in for a kiss. I closed my eyes and my lips met his, enjoying the tender exchange which I secretly wished would have lasted longer.
We hadn't gotten to the workplace in time on Friday to enjoy some fun in his office and I thought yesterday would be our chance, but I ended up falling asleep! Irony, I tell you.
"Okay. I'll be there soon," I whispered, staring into those red eyes of his that twinkled with mischief. He walked back and turned around, then began unbuttoning his shorts.
My attention was locked on him as he pushed his trunks down, the black piece of clothing falling to the floor in a heap, leaving me with the perfect view of his amazing ass. I change my rating. 10/10 just for looks alone. I need to grip that bad boy, though, or I'll go insane.
"Sia."
I blinked, realizing Liam was looking over his shoulder. From the wide grin on his face, I assumed he called my name more than once.
"Um...yes?" I squeaked, my face hot from being caught checking out his very firm and attractive booty that I would rather do less staring at and more feeling up.
"Don't take long,” he whispered in a low, sexy voice that made my stomach flip with excitement.
"I won't," I said, my voice already sounding breathless as I thought about what the view from the front would be like. He grinned and walked out into the luxurious backyard in all his naked glory. If it wasn't for Pix jumping onto the bed and climbing onto my crossed legs to try and attack the phone in my hand, I would have lost all motivation to call Alexander. Totally bad best friend, but I believe if anyone saw a naked masterpiece like Liam, they would forget their name and purpose at that moment, so who could blame me?
I clicked Alexander's name on speed dial and ruffled my hair which was curly and fuzzy from our morning swim.
He picked it up on the fourth ring. "Hello?"
"That took way too long, so either you got utterly wasted last night or you were having the best dream ever," I commented. Alexander was a light sleeper and for five years, had always picked my phone call before the third ring. Anything beyond that usually meant he was drunk or was having a wet dream of some kind. Yes, we were close enough for him to reveal that to me.
"Sorry, there was an issue last night at the bar so it tired me out,” he confessed. I grimaced, not liking how exhausted he sounded.
"Alexander? Are you getting sick? You don't sound well at all," I pointed out.
"Nah. I just need some sleep. My friend will run the bar tonight so I don't lose out on the sales,” he explained.
"Then you ARE sick," I sighed, feeling worried. I didn't want him being sick without me around to take care of him. "You want me to come back? It would take us longer because it’s rush hour but I'd be back before midnight," I offered. We weren't planning to check out until tomorrow around five in the morning to beat the morning traffic, but I would leave early if he needed me.
"Nah, I'll be okay. You have your business trip to finish,” he pointed out. Ah, I didn't tell him that Liam surprised me.
"It was supposed to be a business trip, but ended up being a surprise from Liam. He brought us to some private island and stuff. We've still done work here and there but he said he wanted me to relax after all my hard work last month," I revealed.
Alexander was quiet on the phone and I grew anxious waiting for his reply. "That's good. You do deserve a break. I'm feeling really sleepy so I'll leave you be. Have a good night, Anastasia.”He didn’t wait for a response before he hung up. Fuck.
"Meow meow." Pix leaped, tackling my hand that held my phone, knocking it to the bed. I raised an eyebrow at him and he slowly looked up at me innocently. "Meow?"
"Alexander's upset. Ugh, I don't want him thinking I'm ditching him. I honestly don't even know what he’s so upset about," I whispered, placing my hands on my face and closing my eyes. No crying. I'm just going to enjoy my time with Liam and can deal with Alexander later.
"Meow." Pix sat quietly watching me.
I lowered my hands, my eyes already filled with tears. "I'm gonna go chill with Liam. You be good and stay here," I whispered to Pix, petting his head. He gave me sad eyes but stayed on the bed as I uncrossed my legs and shuffled off and to my feet.
I stripped quickly, tugging the straps of my bikini and letting them fall to the ground before I walked outside. I noticed the beautiful sunset happening before me. Too bad it's all blurry and shit because of all my tears.
I reached the hot tub where Liam was reading something on his iPad, looking deep in thought, but when his gaze lifted to meet my tear-filled ones, he frowned. "What happened?" His eyes slowly scanned my naked body. I gave him a small smile, loving that he was trying to be comforting but still couldn't ignore my naked form. I walked into the tub, sighing at the warmth of the water. Liam put the iPad down on the rocks behind him next to his phone and came over to me. His hands cradled my face and soft thumbs rubbed away the tears that escaped.
"What's wrong?" he repeated, his voice low and gentle. His question only made more tears fall and I huffed in frustration.
"Alexander...he's...I don't know. Like jeez, how am I supposed to get through to him and make him realize I won't ditch him? I was honest and told him you treated me to this trip and then he went all silent and shit. He said he was fine, even though he sounds sick and hung up before I could say bye. He didn't even use my nickname." I cried, trying to stop but began to sob even harder.
"Hey, don't cry," Liam whispered, pulling me into his arms. He allowed me to weep into his chest, rubbing my back slowly. "He's just scared of losing you."
"I'm just as scared and he knows it!" I snapped, pulling back to stare up at Liam, who looked a little taken back by my outburst. I clenched my teeth and looked away. "I'm fucked up, Liam. I've dealt with shit...and the moment my mind sees the warning signs that I may lose someone dear to me, I freak out like this. I panic and...I just...I can't lose Alexander! He's been there for me through everything. But he's showing those signs. The ones everyone displays before they leave your life for good."
I turned my gaze back to Liam's sad eyes. "You don't get it. Or maybe you do, I don't know...but how am I supposed to be here enjoying myself if I have this growing fear Alexander is already packing and by the time we get back, he'll be gone. Just like that, vanished from my life. Even if I leave now...it may be too late. I'm just fucking scared," I whispered.
Commitment was the thing I feared most because no one in my life had ever been able to commit to me. My father couldn't commit to his responsibility while my mother couldn't commit to a relationship with him, or anyone else for that matter. Even if my mother had tried to stop my father from finding me, she moved on regardless, leaving me behind with the excuse I wasn't ready.
The teachers who tortured me didn't commit because they felt a desire to help me. No, they stayed because they were paid to do so and all that led to anger and hatred, and the end result? A broken, fucked up me, who hides my scars and bruises behind my beauty. I ignored the nagging thoughts in my mind by drowning myself in a business I created to help people who had experienced firsthand the backlash or hurt that came from someone pulling out of an agreement, whether it was a business or social one.
My business foundation was based on commitment, that when someone couldn't hold their end of the bargain, I'd come to your aid to relieve the stress caused by the problem and find a solution or help in any way I could.
Alexander knew this. He knew how dark my past was and exactly how to flip my switch. He flipped my switch so I'd do exactly what my mind was urging me to, to cut the trip short and head back. When I got home, he’d probably be asleep, and would claim nothing was wrong when I asked. He played dirty and while a part of me knew he didn't really mean to, and was just dealing with his issues of abandonment, the other half was extremely pissed at the shady move.
Liam put his hand under my chin and tilted my head up. He stared long and hard into my teary eyes. "What does your mind tell you versus your heart?" he whispered.
I was quiet, needing a second to really think about his question. I knew he was serious by his hard tone and his question deserved a proper answer, even if I didn't feel like revealing what I really wanted.
"My mind...the thoughts in my head tell me I should go back or he'll leave," I began, swallowing the lump in my throat. "But...my heart wants to stay here. Every time I've wanted to enjoy something, life hits me in the face and says no. It's like I'm cursed and even though I worked so hard to escape my caged life, I still feel like I'm trapped in a cycle of highs and lows. I just wanted to enjoy tonight with you, even if it means I may lose you now that you know how weird I am," I confessed.
"You aren't losing me."
"We barely know each other. Well...we are getting there slowly, but you could leave just like that. When the contract ends in less then two months, I'll be back to my business and you will be running yours. We’ll be like strangers and that's what is so hard for me, Liam. I want to know that if I give 100% of my commitment to someone, I'll at least get the same back. Stupid right? We live in a world where people can't work out their differences anymore. One year of marriage and people call it quits and get a divorce. You make a mistake at work, they dismiss you and terminate your contract. You end up dying, your spouse who said ‘til death do us part’ will use your insurance money to find a new partner to spend their remaining years with. I hate it...so much, and it's what does THIS to me. I go from being in control, always trying my best to please, to a total mess of problems and ugly crying. THIS is who you'll have to deal with if you decide to commit to me."
The area was quiet as the small lamps around us began to flicker on, the last bit of sunset making the sky a beautiful mixture of colors. The cool breeze passed and the steam of the hot tub surrounded us.
Liam took a step forward, closing the gap I'd created during my rant; his body pressed right up to mine. He lifted his hands and cradled the sides of my face as he slowly leaned forward.
He wasn't going slow for no reason, he was doing it on purpose to give me enough time to back out if I wanted. I'd studied him long enough to know he was a person who analyzed everything and either went fast and hard to seal a deal or took his time, ensuring everyone knew what they were getting themselves into before dropping the hammer.
His soft lips locked onto mine; the kiss was deep with passion. I placed my hands on his chest, wanting to live in this moment, just in case it was our last together.
When we finally broke apart, we were both out of breath. His eyes were dark and lowered to stare at my swollen lips. He looked like he didn't want to stop and frankly, I didn't want him to either. I wanted this to continue but then he pulled out of our embrace and turned around.
I thought he was leaving, the whispers in the back of my mind already doing their work at proving how right they were, but instead he grabbed his phone and moved back to stand before me. He opened it up. "What's Alexander's number?"
I glanced at his phone, unsure why Liam would want to call him. "He won't pick up," I pointed out, knowing on the weekends he would only pick up if I was the one calling.
"Let's try anyway,” he urged. I met his intense gaze and slowly nodded, not wanting to argue with him. I took the phone from his hand, dialed Alexander's number, and gave it back to Liam who put the phone to his ear.
We waited; my sensitive ears listened to faint sound of the ringing tone. It took six rings before Alexander picked up. I couldn't hear what he said but Liam didn't give him a chance to talk for long.
"How long have you known, Sia?" Liam questioned. There was a moment of silence before he continued. "You've known her for that long, but you're okay with making her cry?"
I was confused by what Liam was trying to accomplish here and I anxiously waited to see what would happen. "Alright, what if I didn't bring her back?"
Huh? I stared at him in shock at his sudden question and from the lingering silence, I figured Alexander was just as stunned by the inquiry.
"Silent huh? What if I decided I wanted to mate with Sia right now? What if we did mate and I decided I'd let someone who capable of running my company take over, so I could travel the world with Sia and I guess Pix too since he's here. Would you be be okay with what you did?"
I gawked at Liam like he was crazy, but then his red eyes met mine. He's serious...
"I've known Sia for six weeks. I've watched her come into this job with no one to guide her. She accepted my challenges and I worked her hard. Probably harder than I have anyone, and you know what? She stayed. I don't know her past or secrets, but you know what I can't stand? People who run away. We live life once and you should know that as the so-called magical human you are, but shifters can die too. If we died suddenly, would you regret what you did?"
I stood there, wondering what Alexander was saying, but Liam laughed. "For the fact you think what you did was nothing, let me tell you: it hurt Sia. I did a background check on Sia's work ethic and you know what? She hasn't taken a vacation in years! An actual break where she could sit down and literally do nothing work related. Even this weekend, we still ended up getting some work done, which was not in the memo. Yet, here you are, thinking your actions and words did nothing, and yet you still claim to care for her."
Liam ruffled his hair and took a deep inhale. "I'm not an idiot, Alexander. I can see through the disguise of yours and I'm trying to do you a favor right now, but you know what hurts my heart? Watching Sia walk towards me with tears in her eyes. She’s crying over the fact we may come back and that you'll be gone. She's willing to pack her things, sit in an Uber for a ridiculous amount of time with her anxiety and fears running through her mind all the way back, for the huge possibility you would still be right there. Then she's left with having no sleep and go back to her life of working her ass off every day. But I guess you didn't think of it that way. You went all over NYC to get that specific cactus, yet you can't be open about what you really want."
Went all over NYC for Saturn?
"You're a man, Alexander. Just as I am, but one thing I've learned in my years on this earth as a shifter is that with age comes regret. I made stupid decisions and because of those foolish moves, I lost people I can no longer get back in my life. Don't be an idiot and lose Sia, because once you do, I'll make sure you never get her back and I ALWAYS keep my word."
Liam was silent for a long time and I couldn't hear anything from the other end of the conversation. "Think about it, but what you’re going to do is apologize to Sia," Liam declared, offering me the phone. I gave him a fearful gaze and he returned it with a soft expression. "You can do it,” he whispered encouragingly.
I nodded, taking the phone and placing it by my ear. "Alexander?"
"...Did you really think I was going to leave?" he whispered.
I opened my mouth to speak but more tears began to fall. "Alexander, you know the answer to that!" I sobbed, my shoulders shaking while I cried. He was quiet for a time. I knew he hated when I cried, something I rarely did to begin with.
"Sia. I'm sorry. Don't cry. I'm not going anywhere. I was...just frustrated,” he whispered.
"I asked you to come. I said we could go together. I know you have to run your business and I didn't even know Pix would sneak into my bags, leaving you all alone. I didn't mean to hurt you," I confessed.
I heard him take a shaky breath. "I'm sorry, Sia. Please, don't cry anymore." He spoke with an unsteady voice, thick with tears.
"I won't abandon you. I'm not gonna do what your biological parents did. I'll always be there for you even if we stay as only friends," I reminded, feeling like I had to reassure him yet again.
"I know. I understand, Sia. No more crying. I'm sorry,” he apologized once again.
"I'm sorry too.”
"Don't worry about me. Try to relax. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"
"Okay," I mumbled, giving the phone back to Liam.
"We'll see you tomorrow. Make sure you water Rin and Saturn. Bye." Liam hung up and walked back to put his phone on the stone ledge. Then he came over to where I stood, wiping my flushed, tear-stained cheeks.
He didn't say anything, wrapping his arms around me and holding me tightly. He held me until I finally relaxed. I felt foolish for bringing my problems to him.
"Liam I'm-"
"Don't apologize." He continued to stroke my head soothingly while his left arm wrapped securely around my waist. He pressed a kiss to my forehead and I looked up and saw a small smile on his face.
"We all deal with things like this. Not one shifter can say they don't have a problem or secret they don't want someone to know. I don't want you to feel ashamed for sharing how much you care for Alexander. Maybe it's what he needs to finally take the next step. I know you love him and I can see he loves you too, but both of your insecurities are preventing you from moving forward. I know you're willing to try and have a relationship with him. He just has to be confident to take that step forward with you,” he explained.
"You should be one of those relationship therapists," I mumbled
He chuckled. "There's my Sia.” Then he kissed me on the lips. My Sia...
Even though this holiday didn't really feel like one, I knew somewhere inside I'd made huge progress with myself and my relationships. Maybe I would be able to let Liam in after all.