CHAPTER SEVEN
- Kenji -
While lying on my bed, I scowl at the ceiling, as Tallulah’s words play through my head on a constant reel. Since I stood outside the office, my anger and frustration have only increased. I can’t believe Tally truly considers herself to be a worthless half-mutt. We knew she had some self-confidence issues, but she always brushed off her inability to shift and compensated by making herself physically stronger.
She is so strong. I don’t know a single human who could endure half the stuff she has while growing up and still be as strong. To hear her openly say she’d not be at risk of kidnap because she’s not worth it? It makes my blood boil.
My heart and my head are at war with each other. Half of me wants to stick her over my knee and tan her ass. But the other part of me wants to bundle her up and tell her every day, for the rest of her life, how precious she really is.
Helpless, I can’t protect her, can’t carry her, can’t support her, and her staying here will be pure torture. The temptation is too much. It’s like waving a red flag in front of a bull.
The doorbell breaks into my reverie, the food has arrived. It’s enough to stop me from glaring at the ceiling. Quimby shouts the food is here, and I know if I don’t move my ass, they’ll eat my portion, too. Greedy fucks.
I take a deep breath in a hope to calm my emotions before I stalk out of my bedroom and down the hallway. Quimby and Theo are in the process of unloading the huge amount of food onto the table, but that isn’t what catches my attention. Tally struggles to pull herself up from the sofa without putting any weight on her injured leg.
She uses the wheelchair and the arm of the sofa to try and hoist herself up. I hate it; I hate to see her struggle. The calm wall I put up in the bedroom instantly crumbles. My fingers itch to go over and help her. To pick her up and never let go. I glance over to my brothers; their stiff postures show their discomfort, too.
Why the fuck did we think it best not to tell her? It’s bullshit.
Stomping over to the table, I try my best to ignore Tallulah. My brother’s eyes burn into me as I sit with my back towards her, but I ignore them. Head down so I don’t make eye contact with anyone, I silently grab my three burgers and two lots of fries, then dig in.
Tally’s huff sounds from across the table as she finally takes a seat, her eyes bore into the top of my head. I try to ignore her, but my anger returns with a vengeance and causes me to viciously bite into my burger in a pathetic attempt to keep my mouth shut. I’m seconds away from blowing my top. By the way Quimby fidgets, he knows it, too.
Quimby awkwardly clears his throat and tries to smile at Tally, a distraction from the dark cloud that hangs over the table. The one put there solely by me. “What’s your favourite colour again?”
It’s purple, and he already knows this. He’s such a stupid ass. Like she’ll really fall for his stupid distraction plan. Head down, I lift my eyes enough so I can watch the interaction between the two.
A confused expression crosses her face as she lowers the slice of pizza, instead of taking a bite. She hesitates for a moment before she comes to some sort of conclusion in her head, and simply answers, “Purple.”
I cram another bite of my burger in and spot a mischievous grin on Quimby’s face. Instantly, I know whatever he’s about to say, it likely won’t end well. Quickly, I lurch forward to kick him under the table, but he shifts back just as swiftly, causing me to kick air.
Fucker.
With her attention turned back to her pizza, Tally is completely oblivious to the gleam in his eyes.
“Do you still train when people stay?” he excitedly questions with a bounce in his seat.
She chews and swallows the bite, then wipes her mouth and responds, “Not as often. Dad set me up with a new obstacle course at the back of the house. I use it when I’ve got no one to train with.”
The expression on his face is pure delight. “Hey, I’ll phone your dad. He can grab your workout clothes. I bet you’re a sports bra and shorts girl, am I right?” He wiggles his eyebrows, and flirts, “I can take you down to the training room and show you some new moves.”
Tally’s cheeks heat when she catches the gist of his words, and Quimby gets a cocky smirk at the way her body reacts. Theo seems to enjoy the show too, because he chuckles as we all watch the pretty blush spread further up Tally’s neck and face. I shake my head at my brother’s antics and turn my attention to my food.
What Quimby asks next makes us all drop our food and forget about anything but her answer. “What do you think about mates, Tallulah?”
Dude! He did not just ask her that. He’s playing with fire!
We’ve never outright asked her what she thought about mates before. None of us ever wanted to witness first-hand the disappointment in her eyes. It was something she wanted when she was little. Now? None of us can tell what she thinks about it. She’s managed to somehow shut that side of herself away from us. I look across to Quimby, who still happily munches on his food like he hasn’t got a care in the world, while Theo and I are on tenterhooks for what her answer will be.
Again, she places her pizza slice down. Then as if to stall for time, she grabs a load of napkins to wipe her hands. Several minutes pass, so I assume she’s not going to give him an answer. Slowly, her hands drop to the edge of the table. Judging by the way her knuckles whiten as she squeezes the hell out of it, it’s not an easy question for her to answer.
“I think…” Her face scrunches up slightly. “It’s amazing and magical when a shifter finds their counterparts, whether it’s between one or more. It’s nice to see them have unconditional love and support.”
“But?” Putting her on the spot, some sick part of me wants her to spill what she said to my parents earlier.
Her shoulders slump, and she sighs before she sets a fake as shit smile on her face. “But, nothing. Its nice shifters can have mates. It’s a shame humans—” she cuts herself off abruptly.
It doesn’t take a genius to work out what she was going to say. I want to push the topic further. “It’s a shame humans don’t get to have mates, too. That’s what you were about to say, right?”
The words hang heavily between us.
My blood begins to boil, and I carry on. Whatever comes out of my mouth next will change everything, but I’m still unable to stop it from pouring out. “You seem to think that because you’re a half-mutt, you don’t deserve mates.” Her words spoken in the office are burnt into my mind.
Tallulah jumps out of her seat faster than I imagined would be possible with her injuries. Hands on the table, she leans across and gets in my face. Not liking it, I stand and tower over her, leaning over the table, I match her posture until our faces are barely an inch apart.
She cuts me a deadly glare. I’m glad looks don’t kill, or I’d be dead right now. “You know what, Kenji? Fuck it. You’re right! I don’t have a mate. I won’t ever get to have one because I’m half human. A goddamn fucking half-mutt who doesn’t belong anywhere!” Her voice rises with each word until she’s so loud my ears ring.
Her chest heaves as anger rolls off her. Damn, if she had fur, it’d be stuck up on end right now. She’s that pissed at me.
“I can’t live in a normal world because I’m not human enough, and I don’t fit in here because I can’t fuckin’ shift!” Her shoulders slump in defeat on the last word. She believes every word she snapped out.
I can only stare at her in horror. “Is that what you think? You don’t belong here? You couldn’t be farther from the truth. You belong here more than anyone else in this fuckin’ pack!”
“Kenji!” Theo bellows and jumps out of his seat.
“What? I’m sick of it, she thinks she doesn’t belong here. I’m fed up with all the lies all the time, of always hiding shit from her. It’s stupid. We need to tell her Theo, it can’t go on any longer. Look at her! She thinks she isn’t fuckin’ worth it.”
Tallulah shoots daggers around the table at the three of us.
I slump down in my chair and drop my head into my hands. We’ve made her bitter by not telling her the truth. We’re such assholes. If she ever forgives us, it’ll be a miracle.
“What are you talking about?” she asks timidly, her shoulders curl forward like she wants to protect herself. It instantly makes me feel even more of a fucktard.
A few more words then everything will be out in the open, and we can finally, somehow, rebuild our relationship with her. That’s if we haven’t destroyed it beyond repair.
Theo must recognise the expression on my face because he slams his fist down on the table. The boom echoes around the room. “Kenji, shut the fuck up!”
When I lock eyes with Quimby, he smiles sadly at me. He understands what I’m about to do. Defiant, I blatantly ignore Theo. My full attention focuses on Tallulah when I quietly reveal the truth. “We’re your mates.”
Her face scrunches up into a brief look of confusion. Then, her eyes widen as it quickly dawns on her what I’ve admitted. A small flash of something shows in her eyes, but it’s quickly snuffed out and replaced with hurt and disappointment. Finally, she settles on one emotion.
Collectively the three of us draw in sharp breaths, her face clearly shows her anger.
Maybe I could’ve found a gentler way to break the news to her…